[Messremb]

Ross River, Sombra? Saw the gates had been opened earlier. That's a huge discharge, can't help but wonder why they didn't lower the levels beforehand. I guess better this than risk complete failure but even so.

[Tsundoku]

Yeah, Ross river Townsville.

They have been gradually letting water out all this time but it's going in faster than they can release it without swamping the lower-lying areas. It's not a big dam but the catchment is 750 sq km so it fill fast once the area is waterlogged.

Still here. Our area looks not too bad atm. Going in to work, will see how it goes. Need a big break in the rainfall.

[Tiste Simeon]

Wah wah the poor Ozzie moaning about some rain. Move to England wimp.

[EmperorMagus]

I have a mandatory moot (pretend court of appeal) tomorrow and just practiced my arguments for the first time. I was an utterly incoherent mess and nothing I said made any sense even to myself.

Tomorrow is going to be good for my self-confidence.

[Maark Abbott]

Funeral on Monday.

[Mezla PigDog]

Anyone ever had an elderly relative who got sick and after a hospital stay it became clear they could no longer live independently? How did you persuade them they needed help and find a bit of purpose to life? A relative has had a stroke. He's 84 but was in good health beforehand. Now he can get around in his apartment but can't cook or shop for himself. He took an overdose yesterday as he's had enough. He's ok physically, he was interrupted and got flushed out at hospital. He says he regrets it etc. He lives alone but has kids and grandkids and lots of visitors. He's the type to hate being a burden. I really do quite sympathise but equally he has a lot left to live for if he can see it for himself. So how to help in the spiritual sense? Things are mostly sorted on the practical side, he just doesn't think it's all worth the trouble so won't work with us.

[Cause]

Mezla PigDog, on 05 February 2019 - 08:52 AM, said:

Anyone ever had an elderly relative who got sick and after a hospital stay it became clear they could no longer live independently? How did you persuade them they needed help and find a bit of purpose to life? A relative has had a stroke. He's 84 but was in good health beforehand. Now he can get around in his apartment but can't cook or shop for himself. He took an overdose yesterday as he's had enough. He's ok physically, he was interrupted and got flushed out at hospital. He says he regrets it etc. He lives alone but has kids and grandkids and lots of visitors. He's the type to hate being a burden. I really do quite sympathise but equally he has a lot left to live for if he can see it for himself. So how to help in the spiritual sense? Things are mostly sorted on the practical side, he just doesn't think it's all worth the trouble so won't work with us.

My gran was like this! It was an impossible mission. We had to just wear her down (phrased like that it seems horrible) but eventually we forced her to realize she needed help. She is 98 and two years ago she fell in her flat and had to wait 2 hours or so before someone found her and could help her. She needed surgery to fix her hip bone from that. Before that we had begged and begged her to wear a medical panic button but she said it was too unflattering. Somehow we convinced her to accept a nurse who is with her almost 24/7 now. That's however one of those thing that works in SA and probably not britian. You would pay a month what we pay a year. That said this didn't happen overnight. About five years before that, when we started trying to get her help, she also fell but luckily she could call us and I had to rush over to help her and luckily I had access to a group of jewish volunteer paramedics to help me.

The only advice I could give is to try and find out what his core disagreement is. With my gran as I say it was vanity, she rejected the hearing aid and the medical panic button etc because it made her look old. Its more complicated than just beauty but I suppose pride is the core of it. Him hating to be a burden may be the same.

As for having a reason o live, luckily we haven't had to tackle this problem

This post has been edited by Cause: 05 February 2019 - 12:17 PM

[Mezla PigDog]

Yes we are trying to wear him down. As in - sure you can't do what you used to do but there is a lot of stuff you can do to fill your time. He's not keen on going out with his walking frame so I think there is some vanity involved as well as a loss of confidence but we need to get him to a different apartment with better access for people with limited mobility. His stroke affected his eyesight a bit so he can see but he can't read. Before his stroke he did spend most of his time sitting watching sport on TV and he can still do that so I feel like if we could make him feel in control of his day-to-day stuff then he would be ok. We're considering a nurse but can probably only afford someone who drops by for an hour a few times a week - hopefully then if family aren't doing everything he will feel less of a burden but he isn't well off so it will have to paid for him and he won't like that. We're also looking at apartments in Assisted Living type places so he has his own space but people to keep an eye on him.

I feel like if I was in his shoes I would be trying to think of all the things I could still do but I also suspect I would be thinking "Well I'm 84 and I'm going to go some time relatively soon so may as well go quickly now rather then a protracted decline". Nobody is agreeing with him on that front and I do think with this kind of thing it might be better to give voice to that thought and then work through it to the positive side rather than pretending it isn't there.

This post has been edited by Mezla PigDog: 05 February 2019 - 01:43 PM

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

My gran was somewhat similar - she really lost her health in the last two or three years of her life (passed away at 90) and had the vanity/pride thing about using a wheelchair and her hearing aid as well - she was very stubborn about it until it seemed to dawn on her that it was better being able to go out in limited circumstances than not go out at all. I think it was a case of wearing down with her as well. She became pretty much housebound if someone didn't take her out (hence the butting heads on the wheelchair) but my aunt was her primary carer with a paid carer coming in a couple of hours three days a week I think.

It's a really tricky thing. Gran talked quite a bit about not really wanting to be here any more, and wanting to be with my granddad again - she was a widow of 20 years and, as is always the case for someone, she was pretty much the last of her large group of old friends living. She never attempted to do anything about it though, and we all sort of agreed to just let her talk it out (she had short term memory issues as well by then, so we were into same conversation repeating on ten minute cycles).

She wasn't in an Assisted Living situation but the block of flats were mostly elderly singles with a couple of younger couples who looked out for the rest and dealt with the collective stuff so she was very fortunate in that sense. It functioned a little bit similarly.

I hope you can sort something suitable for him.

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 05 February 2019 - 02:02 PM

[Cause]

Mezla PigDog, on 05 February 2019 - 01:42 PM, said:

Yes we are trying to wear him down. As in - sure you can't do what you used to do but there is a lot of stuff you can do to fill your time. He's not keen on going out with his walking frame so I think there is some vanity involved as well as a loss of confidence but we need to get him to a different apartment with better access for people with limited mobility. His stroke affected his eyesight a bit so he can see but he can't read. Before his stroke he did spend most of his time sitting watching sport on TV and he can still do that so I feel like if we could make him feel in control of his day-to-day stuff then he would be ok.

Depends on the person but if you can hook him up with something like Netflix and actually show him how to use it, it may go a long wat. I think boredom is a huge part of growing old, especially if mobility, going out, and lack of friends is an issue. My gran unfortunately requires a phone call intervention if she accidentally turns her satellite off and cant turn it back on without help. My gran seems to enjoy it when I download old movies for her.

[Tsundoku]

16 hour day after successive 12-14 hour days since last Friday (except Saturday - only did 1300-2100 that day).

A bit tired.

[Maark Abbott]

So stepfather's funeral is Monday coming. Stepmum had oncology results back yesterday and has a sic month timer.

Pass me lots of booze and pass it now.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Maark Abbott, on 07 February 2019 - 07:04 AM, said:

So stepfather's funeral is Monday coming. Stepmum had oncology results back yesterday and has a sic month timer.

Pass me lots of booze and pass it now.

So sorry Maark

[Maark Abbott]

At this rate I'm going to be 40% alcohol.

[worry]

Yah that's heartbreaking.

[Tsundoku]

Shit, Maark. I was hoping 2019 was going to be better.

Sorry to hear about that. I don't know what else to say that isn't going to sound trite except to extend sincere best wishes.

Lots of help, I know.

[QuickTidal]

Maark Abbott, on 07 February 2019 - 07:04 AM, said:

So stepfather's funeral is Monday coming. Stepmum had oncology results back yesterday and has a sic month timer.

Pass me lots of booze and pass it now.

Gods, I'm so sorry you're going through this man.

[Slow Ben]

That sucks Maark.

[Tiste Simeon]

Sorry to hear all that Maark

[Aptorian]

Time to write up that bucket list and create some great memories, Maark.