Malazan Empire: Aptorian - Viewing Profile - Malazan Empire

Jump to content

User Rating: ****-

Reputation: 4431 Grand Master of Rep Fu
Group:
The Wheelchairs of War
Active Posts:
28,296 (5.4 per day)
Most Active In:
The Phoenix Inn (5186 posts)
Joined:
22-May 06
Profile Views:
94,274
Last Active:
User is offline Today, 04:14 AM
Currently:
Offline

My Information

Member Title:
How you doin?
Age:
102 years old
Birthday:
July 16, 1918

Contact Information

E-mail:
Click here to e-mail me
MSN:
MSN  kkjsoerensen@hotmail.com
Website URL:
Website URL  http://

Icon Latest Reputation

4431

Current Reputation


Latest Visitors

Topics I've Started

  1. Terry Goodkind has passed away, aged 72

    18 September 2020 - 02:52 AM

    The news is going around the internet:

    https://www.tor.com/...death-obituary/

    No info on the cause yet. He was just 72.

    Goodkind, for good or bad, has quite a history on this forum and I'll be damned if he doesn't get a send off thread.
  2. A bad customer experience in a local church

    12 September 2020 - 02:38 PM

    This happened last week and I've been thinking about it ever since.

    I went to a baptism last weekend. It's a relatively large church in a suburb of Copenhagen. Your typical generic Danish church, 700ish years old, made out of brick and tile, big open room with arched ceilings, wooden pews, choir in one end and an altar in the other.

    It was an awful experience. And more puzzling, I remember visiting the exact same church two years earlier for the big brother's baptism and it was just the same.

    The room was not even a quarter full but there was a cacophony of children wailing and fidgeting, people coughing or murmuring to one another, loud echoes from people's feet on the wooden floor, etc. To drown this out the church had installed small speakers down the sides of the walls. But the sound wasn't loud enough and the mic quality wasn't sharp, so you couldn't understand half of what the priest was saying, nor could you tell what the choir was singing but that's mainly because of the archaic way these people sing these terribly outdated songs in a giant open room with bad accoustics.

    On top of that the Priest seemed pretty pissed and didn't want to be there. He started out berating the audience because everyone didn't stand up when he and the parents entered. Then he had all these acerbic remarks in between the ceremony parts, saying things like "You'd think the birth of a child would be a cause of celebration" or "People think the birth of their child will bring them happiness. But what really does bring people happiness now a days and did some bit on materialism or something like that. And he ended the whole thing with something like either him or we not really caring and let's just end it here and then he just stood there looking at us for a second and started walking down the isle, with the family scrambling after him.

    It was a thoroughly weird experience. I'd have been pissed if I'd paid money for the ceremony.

    Which made me think about what churches really are about now a days. Now, of course, your milage may vary from church to church, priest to priest but it just felt like such an antiquated experience.

    Terrible service where the priest and helper dude was clearly dissatisfied with the heathens in their church who were unfamiliar with the churches traditions and didn't share their reverence for a crumbling religious institution.

    And a facility that just feels utterly unsuitable for the purpose it's used for.

    As a person who's studied service design and customer user experience, there's so many things about that experience that could have been optimised. A smaller room, better sound isolation, more comfortable seating, better speakers, preferably a bunch of large TVs hanging around the room with instructions, like what the days program is, what song or sermon is next, maybe some scrolling text or lyrics so you don't have to frantically flip through a book with a thousand songs most don't know how to sing.

    And just a more understanding form of addressing a crowd that doesn't hinge on the frustration that the general public in Denmark doesn't give two shits about Church ceremonies.

    And maybe this is just me but some kind of epic light show on the baby fountain, maybe with some dry ice smoke and some Dolby Surround sound angel choir when the kid gets dunked in the water would also be cool.
  3. 2020 Malazan Re-read: Stonewielder

    01 September 2020 - 12:09 PM

    2020 MALAZAN RE-READ: STONEWIELDER

    Book description for Stonewielder:

    Quote

    Greymane believed he'd outrun his past. With his school for swordsmanship in Falar, he was looking forward to a quiet life, although his colleague Kyle wasn't as enamoured with life outside the mercenary company, the Crimson Guard. However, it seems it is not so easy for an ex-Fist of the Malazan Empire to disappear, especially one under sentence of death from that same Empire.

    For there is a new Emperor on the throne of Malaz, and he is dwelling on the ignominy that is the Empire's failed invasion of the Korel subcontinent. In the vaults beneath Unta, the Imperial capital, lie the answers to that disaster. And out of this buried history surfaces the name Stonewielder.

    In Korel, Lord Protector Hiam, commander of the Stormguard, faces the potential annihilation of all that he holds dear. With few remaining men and a crumbling stone wall that has seen better days, he confronts an ancient enemy: the sea-borne Stormriders have returned.

    Religious war also threatens these lands. The cult of the Blessed Lady, which had stood firm against the Riders for millennia, now seeks to eradicate its rivals. And as chaos looms, a local magistrate investigating a series of murders suddenly finds himself at the heart of a far more ancient and terrifying crime - one that has tainted an entire land....


    January 1st 2020 we began the re-read of the main series of the Malazan books. The plan being to read one book a month. We've now added additional Erikson and Esslemont publications to the schedule, to be read roughly according to the publication order.

    Quote

    2020
    January: Gardens of the Moon
    February: Deadhouse Gates
    March: Memories of Ice
    April: House of Chains
    May: Midnight Tides
    June Night of Knives & The Bonehunters
    July: Return of the Crimson Guard
    August: Reaper's Gale
    September: Stonewielder
    October: Toll the Hounds
    November: Orb Sceptre Throne
    December: Dust of Dreams

    2021
    January: The Crippled God
    February: Blood and Bone
    March: Assail
    April: Forge of Darkness
    May: Fall of Light


    You can read our thoughts from earlier months in these threads:

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Gardens of the Moon

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Deadhouse Gates

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Memories of Ice

    2020 Malazan Re-read: House of Chains

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Midnight Tides

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Night of Knives

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Bonehunters

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Return of the Crimson Guard

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Reaper's Gale

    September 1st we begin the re-read of Stonewielder, the 2nd book of the Empire series.

    There will be spoilers for all published books. So beware. Spoiler blocks are not mandatory but if people want to use boxes for the latest Kharkanas books or the Path to Ascendance books for example, I'd personally appreciate it.

    Are you ready? What do you remember about Stonewielder?

    I remember next to nothing about this one.

    There was this wall.

    And some kind of Crippled Goddess thing with some crippled chunks doing bad stuff.

    Oh and Ipshank and Manask! I loved those two. I want Esslemont to write a series of books just like the Bauchelain and Korbald Broach stories. MANASK! THE STEALTHIEST OF THIEVES!
  4. 2020 Malazan Re-read: Toll the Hounds

    01 September 2020 - 09:33 AM

    2020 MALAZAN RE-READ: TOLL THE HOUNDS

    Book description for Toll the Hounds:

    Quote

    In Darujhistan, the city of blue fire, it is said that love and death shall arrive dancing. It is summer and the heat is oppressive, but for the small round man in the faded red waistcoat, discomfiture is not just because of the sun. All is not well. Dire portents plague his nights and haunt the city streets like fiends of shadow. Assassins skulk in alleyways, but the quarry has turned and the hunters become the hunted. Hidden hands pluck the strings of tyranny like a fell chorus. While the bards sing their tragic tales, somewhere in the distance can be heard the baying of Hounds...And in the distant city of Black Coral, where rules Anomander Rake, Son of Darkness, ancient crimes awaken, intent on revenge. It seems Love and Death are indeed about to arrive...hand in hand, dancing. A thrilling, harrowing novel of war, intrigue and dark, uncontrollable magic, "Toll the Hounds" is the new chapter in Erikson's monumental series - epic fantasy at its most imaginative and storytelling at its most exciting.


    January 1st 2020 we began the re-read of the main series of the Malazan books. The plan being to read one book a month. We've now added additional Erikson and Esslemont publications to the schedule, to be read roughly according to the publication order.

    Quote

    2020
    January: Gardens of the Moon
    February: Deadhouse Gates
    March: Memories of Ice
    April: House of Chains
    May: Midnight Tides
    June Night of Knives & The Bonehunters
    July: Return of the Crimson Guard
    August: Reaper's Gale
    September: Stonewielder
    October: Toll the Hounds
    November: Orb Sceptre Throne
    December: Dust of Dreams

    2021
    January: The Crippled God
    February: Blood and Bone
    March: Assail
    April: Forge of Darkness
    May: Fall of Light


    You can read our thoughts from earlier months in these threads:

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Gardens of the Moon

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Deadhouse Gates

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Memories of Ice

    2020 Malazan Re-read: House of Chains

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Midnight Tides

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Night of Knives

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Bonehunters

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Return of the Crimson Guard

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Reaper's Gale

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Stonewielder

    October 1st we begin the re-read of Toll the Hounds, the 8th book of the Malazan Book of the Fallen series.

    There will be spoilers for all published books. So beware. Spoiler blocks are not mandatory but if people want to use boxes for the latest Kharkanas books or the Path to Ascendance books for example, I'd personally appreciate it.

    Are you ready? What do you remember about Toll the Hounds.

    I remember this book being a slow burn. A very long run up to an excellent convergence on the last 200 or so pages.

    I remember finding the whole Black Oil and puppet god stuff more confusing and weird than satisfying to read about. Why was Bellurdan brought back as a puppet character and not Hairlock?

    Kallor was cool in this book. It's the first book where some humanity is introduced to the character and we get a glimpse of the man as more than just a stereotypical bad guy.

    I remember finding the whole Hood needs to manifest so Rake can chop him and the commit suicide plot stupid. We've seen plenty other gods manifest in physical form. Or been Dragged into that situation, Quick Ben threatened to do just that to Hood in Memories of Ice. It's also retarded that Rake needed to have Dassem defeat him. Maybe if you believed that Dassem was needed to protect the blade you can see some logic in it, but that doesn't explain what the point of the fight was. I for one believe that Rake controlled that fight and manipulated Dassem into the killing blow. At which point you may ask: Why didn't Hood and Rake just meet in a deserted area, Rake kills Hood, Rake stabs himself. Done.

    Was a cool convergence though. "Now turn this wagon around".
  5. 2020 Malazan Re-read: Reaper's Gale

    16 July 2020 - 07:58 AM

    2020 MALAZAN RE-READ: REAPER'S GALE

    Book description for Reaper's Gale

    Quote

    All is not well in the Letherii Empire. Rhulad Sengar, the Emperor of a Thousand Deaths, spirals into madness, surrounded by sycophants and agents of his Machiavellian chancellor, while the Letherii secret police conduct a campaign of terror against its own people. The Errant, once a farseeing god, is suddenly blind to the future. Conspiracies seethe throughout the palace, as the empire - driven by the corrupt and self-interested - edges ever-closer to all-out war with the neighbouring kingdoms. And the great Edur fleet - its warriors selected from countless peoples - draws ever closer. Amongst them are Karsa Orlong and Icarium Lifestealer - each destined to cross blades with the emperor himself. That yet more blood is to be spilled is inevitable... Against this backdrop, a band of fugitives seek a way out of the empire, but one of them, Fear Sengar must find the soul of Scabandari Bloodeye. It is his hope that it might help halt the Tiste Edur, and so save his brother, the emperor. Yet, travelling with them is Scabandari's most ancient foe: Silchas Ruin, brother of Anomander Rake. And his motives are anything but certain - for the wounds he carries on his back, made by the blades of Scabandari, are still fresh. Fate decrees that there is to be a reckoning, for such bloodshed cannot go unanswered - and it will be a reckoning on an unimaginable scale...


    January 1st 2020 we began the re-read of the main series of the Malazan books. The plan being to read one book a month. We've now added additional Erikson and Esslemont publications to the schedule, to be read roughly according to the publication order.

    Quote

    2020
    January: Gardens of the Moon
    February: Deadhouse Gates
    March: Memories of Ice
    April: House of Chains
    May: Midnight Tides
    June Night of Knives & The Bonehunters
    July: Return of the Crimson Guard
    August: Reaper's Gale
    September: Stonewielder
    October: Toll the Hounds
    November: Orb Sceptre Throne
    December: Dust of Dreams

    2021
    January: The Crippled God
    February: Blood and Bone
    March: Assail
    April: Forge of Darkness
    May: Fall of Light


    You can read our thoughts from earlier months in these threads:

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Gardens of the Moon

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Deadhouse Gates

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Memories of Ice

    2020 Malazan Re-read: House of Chains

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Midnight Tides

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Night of Knives

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Bonehunters

    2020 Malazan Re-read: Return of the Crimson Guard

    August 1st we begin the re-read of Reaper's Gale, the 7th book of the Malazan Book of the Fallen series.

    There will be spoilers for all published books. So beware. Spoiler blocks are not mandatory but if people want to use boxes for the latest Kharkanas books or the Path to Ascendance books for example, I'd personally appreciate it.

    Are you ready? What do you remember about Reaper's Gale?

    This book was cool and yet I remember the ending feeling tainted. Mainly for the reason that so many convergences didn't properly come to pass. Ruin descends upon the Capital and gets blasted by a Cusser. Icarium and Karsa doesn't fight. Icarium is once again teased as going nuts but it doesn't quite happen. Rhulad is heralded as the Emperor of a Thousand Deaths but he doesn't really have any progression beyond what we knew from Midnight Tides. There's a lot in there that I wish had been given a nudge.

    I also don't remember having much love for the Tiste kids or the Shake/Twilight stuff.

    But there is a hell of a lot of other cool stuff. We finally get to see why the Malazan marines are so effective. It's some of Erikson's best "war writing". There's Beak's sacrifice. Quick Ben, Trull, Onrack, Hedge. Tehol and Bugg are always awesome, etc.

Comments

  • 6 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • Last »
  1. Photo

    Tsundoku 

    15 Jul 2020 - 20:00
    102! How does he do it?
  2. Photo

    Aptorian 

    17 Jul 2019 - 19:21
    Here's to another 100!
  3. Photo

    Tsundoku 

    15 Jul 2019 - 20:23
    101!
  4. Photo

    Aptorian 

    17 Jul 2018 - 19:37
    I dont feel a day over 75.
  5. Photo

    Tsundoku 

    16 Jul 2018 - 11:38
    100 today you old bastard! I always thought you were in great shape for a centenarian.
  6. Photo

    Aptorian 

    23 Nov 2016 - 06:54
    I think you need therapy and probably some kind of medical treatment, Mal. How boring is your daily existence that you find it imperative to jump on this forum every few weeks and pick a fight with people?
  7. Photo

    Malaclypse 

    23 Nov 2016 - 06:48
    you got somehting to say? because I'm about done with this bullshit
  8. Photo

    Tattersail_ 

    16 Oct 2016 - 17:02
    I feel blessed with your presence
  9. Photo

    Aptorian 

    22 Sep 2016 - 13:31
    Test
  10. Photo

    Vengeance 

    22 Sep 2016 - 13:29
    blurp
  11. Photo

    Abyss 

    22 Sep 2016 - 10:09
    Testing
  12. Photo

    Malaclypse 

    22 Sep 2016 - 00:11
    Where do you get off telling me to 'tone it down'? Fuck you man, I stood up for you when all of the staff was against you. I gave you the 'Wheelchairs of War' in defiance of censorship. In short, I backed you when you said unpopular thihgs. Do better.
  13. Photo

    Tsundoku 

    16 Jul 2014 - 08:19
    Huh, apparently you were BORN. Well, there goes that theory. Happy birthday Hamlet. Tell Mary I said hi. ;)
  14. Photo

    HoosierDaddy 

    14 Jun 2014 - 23:24
    Your rep is out of fucking control. I'm going to start neg-repping you to bring you back to the standard deviation.
  15. Photo

    Illuyankas 

    02 Feb 2013 - 21:08
    *fires 21 gun salute*
  • 6 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • Last »