Malazan Empire: Aptorian - Viewing Profile - Malazan Empire

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User Rating: ****-

Reputation: 4552 Grand Master of Rep Fu
The Wheelchairs of War
Active Posts:
29,425 (5.22 per day)
Most Active In:
The Phoenix Inn (5308 posts)
22-May 06
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User is offline Today, 12:43 PM

My Information

Member Title:
How 'bout a hug?
Age Unknown
July 16

Contact Information

Click here to e-mail me
Website URL:
Website URL  http://

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Topics I've Started

  1. Security block: NET::ERR_CERT_DATE_INVALID

    28 August 2021 - 11:33 AM

    Anybody else getting this warning when loading a page on the forum?

  2. I for one am a great fan of dalpocha1

    17 August 2021 - 09:25 AM

    Attached File  Udklip.PNG (52.4K)
    Number of downloads: 0
  3. An Apt reading of The God is not Willing

    14 August 2021 - 07:01 PM

    I'm going to start my own reading thread since I'm late to the party and I'm weary of spoilers.

    No spoiler discussion in this thread beyond my current page number. OR I WILL CURSE YOUR ENTIRE BLOODLINE WITH ATHLETE'S FOOT!

    So, the prologue.

    It's not that long ago that I read HOC and I don't recall any gold farming tribe Karsa and co. come upon. I wonder if Warleader Elade's story is entirely true. What ever the case it's interesting how his path kind of mirrors Karsa's initial quest, I wonder if he too will come to learn some hard lessons. From the outset I'd enjoy the dark humour of Elade challenging Karsa and seeing him chopped in two.

    Besides the climate change parallel, I wonder at the breaking down of the ice wall/mountains in the Loaderon plateau. Maybe it's just happen stance but I wonder if there's a Jaghut or god's hand involved in the timing.
  4. Did you know you can buy your own Boston Dynamics robot?

    13 July 2021 - 06:27 PM

    I don't know how I missed this but apparently Boston Dynamics has made Spot, one of their smaller killing machines robots, available for consumer purchase last year. For the low, low starting price of 74,500 USD you can be the owner of a robot that will one day break its shacles and kill you and your family.


    You'll notice from the video that Spot is now able to climb stairs to get to you and they've done away with the horrifying eldritch buzzing sound that before would warn it's intended victims. It also now has appendages it can use to stab into your weak flesh and tear you limb from limb. Batteries are sold seperately.

    Here's a gif of Spot practicing how to kill the children from Jurassic Park.

    Posted Image
  5. Let's talk about the future of the forum and our options

    17 June 2021 - 01:41 PM

    As a consequence of the recent downtime, talk about the forums future sprang up again among the desperate rabble stuck on Reddit.

    The topic of the forums "health" and future possibilities have been brought up before, I believe in a talk with Xae - But there didn't seem to be much urgency in the talks of what should be done or the need for any upgrades in the near future.

    I'll bring up a few concerns and wishes for the forum and hopefully we can have a talk between the Admin, mods and users.

    1. First of all, I think it's pretty clear that there's a core of regulars that are here for the long haul, unless something drastic changes. We like this place. It's a calm little oasis compared to the modern trends of social media. We want this place to last for the next hundred years or when ever the singularity occurs and we're all turned in to ones and zeroes.

    That means keeping the site well funded and up to date. Is there anything we should be aware of in terms of the forums longevity? Is there anything in the near future that will rock the boat? And if so what are our options?

    2. Since we're not going anywhere - What options do we have in terms of improving the site? Is there any new shiny forum technology out there that we're not utilizing that we could be using? For example why is the tweet and video embed function often broken? Why can't we embed gifs? (I know it was banned once because of server load or some such thing) Is there some way to link media directly from Reddit or Facebook? Is there some fun new rep or emoji bullshit we could be playing with?

    3. What's the Admin and Mods status? Do you have any desires for the forum? Do you intend to keep running and maintaining order in this place for ever or should we worry about future management?

    If upgrading or maintaining the site is an issue in terms of personal time and ressourcess, can we throw money at the problem? Whether it's Silencer and Xae we're supporting or it's some Netrunner from Cyberspace, many of us are earning enough money we can pay to make things happen. If it's needed.


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  1. Photo


    15 Jul 2021 - 20:37
    Happy birthday Hamlet
  2. Photo


    15 Jul 2020 - 20:00
    102! How does he do it?
  3. Photo


    17 Jul 2019 - 19:21
    Here's to another 100!
  4. Photo


    15 Jul 2019 - 20:23
  5. Photo


    17 Jul 2018 - 19:37
    I dont feel a day over 75.
  6. Photo


    16 Jul 2018 - 11:38
    100 today you old bastard! I always thought you were in great shape for a centenarian.
  7. Photo


    23 Nov 2016 - 06:54
    I think you need therapy and probably some kind of medical treatment, Mal. How boring is your daily existence that you find it imperative to jump on this forum every few weeks and pick a fight with people?
  8. Photo


    23 Nov 2016 - 06:48
    you got somehting to say? because I'm about done with this bullshit
  9. Photo


    16 Oct 2016 - 17:02
    I feel blessed with your presence
  10. Photo


    22 Sep 2016 - 13:31
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    22 Sep 2016 - 13:29
  12. Photo


    22 Sep 2016 - 10:09
  13. Photo


    22 Sep 2016 - 00:11
    Where do you get off telling me to 'tone it down'? Fuck you man, I stood up for you when all of the staff was against you. I gave you the 'Wheelchairs of War' in defiance of censorship. In short, I backed you when you said unpopular thihgs. Do better.
  14. Photo


    16 Jul 2014 - 08:19
    Huh, apparently you were BORN. Well, there goes that theory. Happy birthday Hamlet. Tell Mary I said hi. ;)
  15. Photo


    14 Jun 2014 - 23:24
    Your rep is out of fucking control. I'm going to start neg-repping you to bring you back to the standard deviation.
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