Malazan Empire: So, let's talk about sex - Malazan Empire

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So, let's talk about sex I'm having a crisis of thought...

#621 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 02 September 2018 - 02:30 PM

View PostTsundoku, on 02 September 2018 - 01:08 AM, said:

If someone found that funny, would that make them a terrible person?

Hypothetically speaking. Asking for a friend.


Yes, hypothetically speaking.
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#622 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 03 September 2018 - 01:19 AM

All joking aside, I hope your test comes back w/ nothing wrong and you breathe a big sigh of relief.

No joking aside, it'd be rad if you caught something where every time you climax from now on, a little flag that says BANG! pops out.
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#623 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 03 September 2018 - 02:11 AM

Completely unrelated to current topic, but..

A friend of mine was going to get a vasectomy, I told him that after the operation all that comes out is a little puff of air.....


MAN he was pissed at me after talking to his Dr.
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#624 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 03 September 2018 - 02:13 AM

It's like that thing the optometrist uses.
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#625 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 03 September 2018 - 05:47 PM

View Postworry, on 03 September 2018 - 02:13 AM, said:

It's like that thing the optometrist uses.


Thats exactly the sound i used whilst describing it to him.
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#626 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 03 September 2018 - 07:14 PM

View PostSlow Ben, on 03 September 2018 - 02:11 AM, said:

Completely unrelated to current topic, but..

A friend of mine was going to get a vasectomy, I told him that after the operation all that comes out is a little puff of air.....


MAN he was pissed at me after talking to his Dr.


This is an epic prank

Your friend worries me though
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#627 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 19 March 2019 - 07:33 PM

View PostBriar King, on 19 March 2019 - 07:16 PM, said:

Ok so is it just me or do other people think that there is just something completely strange to have sex over your own state line? Been doing this for 23 years so sex is sex or should be sex is sex but still anytime I do this I'm like "hmm" afterwards. Texas!


Maybe it's because you just feel more comfortable at home? I think for most people, if they're not comfortable when they have sex, the sex is just...not as good perhaps?
Screw you all, and have a nice day!

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#628 User is offline   Andorion 

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Posted 20 March 2019 - 02:32 AM

View PostBriar King, on 19 March 2019 - 07:16 PM, said:

Ok so is it just me or do other people think that there is just something completely strange to have sex over your own state line? Been doing this for 23 years so sex is sex or should be sex is sex but still anytime I do this I'm like "hmm" afterwards. Texas!


Maybe this is just me being sleepy, but BK are you saying that you have sex literally on top of the state boundary line? Isn't that illegal?
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#629 User is offline   D'rek 

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Posted 20 March 2019 - 04:15 AM

View PostAndorion, on 20 March 2019 - 02:32 AM, said:

View PostBriar King, on 19 March 2019 - 07:16 PM, said:

Ok so is it just me or do other people think that there is just something completely strange to have sex over your own state line? Been doing this for 23 years so sex is sex or should be sex is sex but still anytime I do this I'm like "hmm" afterwards. Texas!


Maybe this is just me being sleepy, but BK are you saying that you have sex literally on top of the state boundary line? Isn't that illegal?


Do you think anyone's ever had a foursome at the Four Corners Monument, with each person standing in a different state?

View Postworrywort, on 14 September 2012 - 08:07 PM, said:

I kinda love it when D'rek unleashes her nerd wrath, as I knew she would here. Sorry innocent bystanders, but someone's gotta be the kindling.
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#630 User is offline   EmperorMagus 

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Posted 20 March 2019 - 05:15 AM

View PostD, on 20 March 2019 - 04:15 AM, said:

View PostAndorion, on 20 March 2019 - 02:32 AM, said:

View PostBriar King, on 19 March 2019 - 07:16 PM, said:

Ok so is it just me or do other people think that there is just something completely strange to have sex over your own state line? Been doing this for 23 years so sex is sex or should be sex is sex but still anytime I do this I'm like "hmm" afterwards. Texas!


Maybe this is just me being sleepy, but BK are you saying that you have sex literally on top of the state boundary line? Isn't that illegal?


Do you think anyone's ever had a foursome at the Four Corners Monument, with each person standing in a different state?


That's a life goal right there.
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#631 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 20 March 2019 - 06:40 AM

What happens in Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico stays in Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico.
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#632 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 20 March 2019 - 07:47 AM

Nah that will be on the internet somewhere, surely.
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#633 User is offline   D'rek 

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Posted 28 March 2019 - 11:42 PM

View PostBriar King, on 28 March 2019 - 10:24 PM, said:

Viagra is so fucking cool!


Congratulations :p

View Postworrywort, on 14 September 2012 - 08:07 PM, said:

I kinda love it when D'rek unleashes her nerd wrath, as I knew she would here. Sorry innocent bystanders, but someone's gotta be the kindling.
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#634 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 06:12 AM

Congratulations you need Viagra I guess?
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#635 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 08:55 AM

View Postworry, on 20 March 2019 - 06:40 AM, said:

What happens in Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico stays in Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico.


Certainly puts the "postcode theory" to the test.

View PostBriar King, on 29 March 2019 - 07:41 AM, said:

Will explain in am when not blitzed in bed.


And - one hopes - sufficiently ... "relaxed".

:p
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#636 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 04:14 PM

BK you maintain a strange, strange existence.
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#637 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 04:27 PM

View PostBriar King, on 29 March 2019 - 03:55 PM, said:

Story time don’t think I need to tag this. It’s not 10 yrs ago BK or anything. So I became determined to talk to my GP after the house got more crowded back in December and we began to have to take drives, but sometimes either my legs would be hurting to bad bending this or that way or someone would pull up next to us so I’d have to stop and wait sometimes 4 to 5 times(some could be lonnggg waits if they are yapping on phone or waiting on someone themselves) some drives which began to take its toll on me especially if I was hurting I couldn’t just get ready right away after those multi pauses. So when my January appointment came I explained all that to him.

Been awesome ever since. Don’t be embarrassed to talk to your dr.


I have read this passage three times and I still don't understand what it's about...?
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#638 User is offline   Tattersail_ 

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 04:50 PM

View PostBriar King, on 29 March 2019 - 03:55 PM, said:

Story time don't think I need to tag this. It's not 10 yrs ago BK or anything. So I became determined to talk to my GP after the house got more crowded back in December and we began to have to take drives, but sometimes either my legs would be hurting to bad bending this or that way or someone would pull up next to us so I'd have to stop and wait sometimes 4 to 5 times(some could be lonnggg waits if they are yapping on phone or waiting on someone themselves) some drives which began to take its toll on me especially if I was hurting I couldn't just get ready right away after those multi pauses. So when my January appointment came I explained all that to him.

Been awesome ever since. Don't be embarrassed to talk to your dr.


Take drives for sex you're talking about. Dogging? Or just going somewhere private to shag? I thought you were middle aged but you seem younger, has a sibling moved back in with you or something?
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#639 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 05:00 PM

View PostQuickTidal, on 29 March 2019 - 04:27 PM, said:

View PostBriar King, on 29 March 2019 - 03:55 PM, said:

Story time don't think I need to tag this. It's not 10 yrs ago BK or anything. So I became determined to talk to my GP after the house got more crowded back in December and we began to have to take drives, but sometimes either my legs would be hurting to bad bending this or that way or someone would pull up next to us so I'd have to stop and wait sometimes 4 to 5 times(some could be lonnggg waits if they are yapping on phone or waiting on someone themselves) some drives which began to take its toll on me especially if I was hurting I couldn't just get ready right away after those multi pauses. So when my January appointment came I explained all that to him.

Been awesome ever since. Don't be embarrassed to talk to your dr.


I have read this passage three times and I still don't understand what it's about...?


Yeah, I have to agree, I don't get it either. There's something about legs bending, but viagra is for not bending penise...penii...penises...? Right?
Screw you all, and have a nice day!

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#640 User is offline   Whisperzzzzzzz 

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 05:08 PM

I think he's saying that he would have sex in the car, except people would pull up next to him. He'd have to stop having sex during those times, which would cause a loss of arousal, and then it was difficult to get re-aroused after the stranger had driven away.

I dunno, that sounds like a normal libido state to me. I lose arousal when I'm having sex and strangers are talking on cell phones next to me too. Doesn't seem like something I need Viagra for...
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