[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

'Another "startling revelation" [...] is Harry's admission that his penis (referred to as his "todger") was frostbitten at William and Kate's [...] wedding [...] used some [how much are they paying him for the sponsorship?] cream on the injury and toughed out the wedding, only going to the doctor after the ceremony.'

Prince Harry's book: All the catty comments about William in Spare

Stiff lower... todger?

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 06 January 2023 - 12:54 PM

[Tsundoku]

Jaysus, way to paint a fucking huge target on your back. And the rest of your family.

No real military person ever discusses that sort of detail in a public setting.
It's like he was given a bunch of questions and every time there was a good answer, and a bad answer, he unhesitatingly picked the bad answer every time.

https://www.news.com...8cbd205d8e7b18e

Taliban leader accuses Prince Harry of ‘war crimes’ after he admits killing 25 insurgents in Afghanistan
Prince Harry has been accused of committing war crimes by a senior Taliban leader after the royal admitted killing 25 insurgents while fighting in Afghanistan.

... "The Duke’s controversial revelation has met with criticism with many saying it was “stupid” and “foolish”.

“Harry’s claim that he killed 25 Taliban is a nightmare, an absolute nightmare, for his security teams. How stupid can you be?” veteran British broadcaster Andrew Neil wrote on Twitter.

Neil is chairman of The Spectator, which published an article by British MP Adam Holloway, a former army officer. Holloway said that in all his interactions with professional soldiers he’d never heard “anybody talk publicly about how many people they’ve killed”.

“They just don’t think it is appropriate to publicise the kill count, never mind whether it is satisfying or embarrassing to them or whatever. It’s not about macho codes. It’s about decency and respect for the lives you have taken,” he wrote.

“Even if Harry did feel some righteousness in fighting, that’s still no reason to publicise his kills.

“I remember one heavily decorated SAS warrant officer friend telling me that when someone asked him how many people he had killed he would always respond: ‘That’s a bit like asking a woman how many men she’s slept with.’ That may be a somewhat sexist remark, since it’s equally grubby for a man to talk about his sex life - something which, funnily enough, Harry looks set to do in this tell-far-too-much memoir.

“Harry is exhibiting, in such cringe-inducing style, the precise opposite of what his grandmother exemplified: dignity, restraint, and an ability to not parade his emotions ... is there any confidence he will not break?”

Former Royal Marine Ben McBean took aim at Harry. While he tweeted that he loved the Prince, Mr McBean said he needed to “shut up”.

“Love you #PrinceHarry but you need to shut up! Makes you wonder the people he’s hanging around with. If it was good people somebody by now would have told him to stop,” he wrote.

Major General Chip Chapman told UK radio station Times Radio that it was “naively stupid” for Harry, his publisher and ghost-writer to have published details of his kills in Afghanistan.

“Harry is not serving but those things are still sensitive,” Major General Chapman said.

“And for him, who wants privacy and security, he’s just opened himself up to every jihadist and nutcase out there.” ...

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 06 January 2023 - 02:32 PM

[Tiste Simeon]

I've always low-key supported Harry and Meghan because the way they've been treated by the right wing press here is utterly abysmal,but yeah this seems like a monumentally terrible idea.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Tsundoku, on 06 January 2023 - 02:29 PM, said:

Jaysus, way to paint a fucking huge target on your back. And the rest of your family.

No real military person ever discusses that sort of detail in a public setting.
It's like he was given a bunch of questions and every time there was a good answer, and a bad answer, he unhesitatingly picked the bad answer every time.

https://www.news.com...8cbd205d8e7b18e

Case in point:

'the then-20-year-old prince [...] the costume was for a “Native and Colonial” themed party (there’s your first mistake!), and when Harry asked William and Kate whether he should go as a pilot or a Nazi, they chose Nazi. Harry added, “They both howled. Worse than Willy’s leotard outfit! [...]”'

What type of colonialist do you want to dress up as? Nazi!

At least he waited two years after that before joining the military to tour Afghanistan....

Guess he calls his frostbitten penis 'todger' so it doesn't get mixed up with his brother 'Willy'.


'Agha Gol added that if Harry was a “real man and not a f***ing loser” he would return to Afghanistan.'

lol

'Prince Harry in legal fight to pay for UK police protection

[...] lost his taxpayer-funded police security after stepping back from royal duties'

Prince Harry in legal fight to pay for UK police protection - BBC News


'Prince Harry's court case over security "has cost taxpayer almost £100,000"

[...] said that he no longer feels safe in the UK and was granted a judicial review after complaining to the High Court about the decision 10 months ago.

[...] The Home Office has stated that the taxpayer should not foot the bill for the litigation and has committed to recovering legal costs from Harry if he is unsuccessful in his court case.'

Prince Harry's court case over security 'has cost taxpayer almost £100,000' - Cornwall Live

'Prince Harry "Never" Thought He’d Lose Palace Security After Prince Andrew Was Protected Amid Sexual Assault Scandal

[...] “Never. Not in this climate of hate. Not after what happened to my mother [Princess Diana]. Also, not in the wake of my Uncle Andrew,” [...]

“I was an agoraphobe. Which was nearly impossible given my public role. After one speech, which couldn’t be avoided or canceled, and during which I’d nearly fainted, Willy came up to me backstage. Laughing,”'

Prince Harry Questions How He Lost Security and Prince Andrew Didn't (usmagazine.com)

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

'friends of the late Queen [...] telling senior reporters [...] that Harry and Meghan's "ambushing" of the family, by making shocking revelations to the media in the final years of her life, "had an impact" on her health before she died'

Hypocrite Harry Harmed Dying Queen With Attacks, Sources Say

It would've been pretty funny if the revelation of the frostbitten penis had finished her off. (Okay, maybe not really. But as a sketch...) Alas she died too soon to be so slain....

If anything it seems like he waited until after she dropped dead to really start letting loose.

Going to be hard not to think 'frostbitten penis' whenever Harry's name comes up. (The popularity of the name could drop precipitously....)

And everyone should start referring to William as Willy now. (Would that make Charles King Tampon?... since he was recorded saying he wants to be reincarnated as his mistress's tampon. Now how would Shakespeare put that....)

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 07 January 2023 - 07:09 PM

[Tsundoku]

More 'Straya. Because we always need more nightmare fuel.

https://www.news.com...91d12a38c250b65

Aussie island infested with mutant snakes
This tiny Aussie island has become infested with mutant tiger snakes up to twice the size of their mainland friends.

A tiny, barely inhabited island off the coast of Tasmania has become home to an enormous population of mutant, bird-eating tiger snakes.

The Jurassic Park-style island, Mount Chappell, is said to be home to Australia’s largest and most venomous tiger snakes. The giant reptiles are twice as big as their relatives on the mainland.

Like a kind of local folklore, stories abound of visitors landing on the island, only to flee at the sight of dozens of slithering, massive snakes.

They’re particularly plentiful in a 200-metre stretch of scrub known as Snake Alley, where they live in mutton bird burrows and gorge on mutton bird chicks.

Mount Chappell Island snakes are consistently longer and heavier than tiger snakes in the rest of the country, and have larger heads – and they have evolution to thank for that.

Mutton bird chicks are only young enough to lunch on for about five weeks each year, after which they become too big to eat – hence, the snakes’ oversized heads.

After gorging on baby birds, they curl up inside the burrows and use the living chicks as a heat source through hibernation.

The tiger snakes are likely the deadliest of their kind in Australia. Though their venom is less potent than that of tiger snakes on the mainland, their large fangs allow them to deliver greater bang for buck.

Park ranger Grahame Stonehouse, who is just one of two residents living among the mutants, insists they aren’t harmful.

“They don’t want to use their venom on you, they want to use it on a feed,” he told the ABC.

“I’ve got a lot of respect for them.”

Despite the snakes having mutated to suit their island home, life on Mount Chappell Island is tough. Just 1 per cent of the native tiger snakes – the ones who can grow large enough, fast enough – make it to adulthood.

Of the 40-odd islands dotted around the Bass Strait, very few have been studied. Many, Mr Stonehouse said, would likely have similar populations of thriving monster snakes.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 09 January 2023 - 12:14 PM

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

'King Charles Bloody Tampon carried a “pitiful” teddy bear every where he went, Prince Harry Frostbitten Penis claims [...] The teddy bear is [...] a relic from his traumatic boarding school days at Gordonstoun [Gore Lord's Town?], where he was bullied relentlessly. “Teddy went everywhere with Pa,” [...] “It was a pitiful object, with broken arms and dangly threads, holes patched up here and there. It looked, I imagined, like Pa might have after the bullies had finished with him.” [...] the bear “expressed eloquently, better than Pa ever could, the essential loneliness of his childhood.” [...] It is unknown if King Charles still carries the bear.'

King Charles Carried ‘Pitiful’ Teddy Bear Everywhere, Says Harry in ‘Spare’

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

King Charles should be proud to display his ragged teddy bear everywhere he goes, since it's a better symbol of Britain than he is. It should be on the currency right now. Unfortunately he's had the bear repaired repeatedly:

'the now-king's former trusted valet, [...] was in charge of caring for the stuffed animal — when Charles was in his forties. Anytime the toy needed mending, the royal's former nanny [...] was brought out of retirement to make the necessary repairs.

[...] the retired nanny "was the only human being allowed to take needle and thread to Prince Charles' teddy bear. He was well into his forties, and every time that teddy needed to be repaired, you would think it was his own child having major surgery,"

"For someone who said he was bullied as a child, Prince Charles clearly enjoyed bullying us," [...]

Another former valet, Ken Stronach — who was, for many years, in charge of hand-washing the prince's underwear and tucking him into bed with his beloved teddy — concurred.

[...]

"Flying into a blind rage, he pulled the sink off the wall, then smashed it, looking for the cufflink," [...] "Unable to find the missing jewelry, a wild-eyed Prince of Wales spun around and grabbed his valet by the throat. Stronach broke free, darted out a side door — and into a linen closet. Terrified, he huddled there for thirty minutes before he could hear Charles leave the bathroom."'

King Charles had a valet for his teddy bear in his 40s

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 10 January 2023 - 11:59 AM

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

... though on reflection strangling the servants who hand-wash his dirty underwear and carrying his ragged teddy bear everywhere he goes do make King Bloody Tampon a fitting symbol of the UK's government...

Still he should be deposed and replaced with the teddy bear. Put a little crown on its head. And leave it outside in the cold every night, with no protection from precipitation or tearing winds, so it gets to be as ragged as possible.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

'He even had a little rhyme for the most at-risk body parts: "fingers, nose, penis, toes." All of these are "end organs," [...] meaning their blood supply comes from just one or two vessels. "If the blood vessels constrict, as they naturally do when it's cold, you actually can get death of the tissue," [...]

"The other thing is, when you're using your extremity, there is good blood flow. So if you're moving your hands, if you're walking around, you are going to have better blood flow in the fingers and the toes. But if you're not using the penis, and it's just sitting there, there's no reason for it to have extra circulation."

[...] "You've got to freeze that thing for a long time to really kill it."'

Prince Harry's Penis Has Quite a Time in His New Book. It Could Have Been Much, Much Worse

... so if you have a penis and you're worried about frostbite, be sure you're using it?...

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 11 January 2023 - 12:09 PM

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

'Imagine a fairy-tale city—on the coast, perhaps, with sailboats bobbing in the breeze. This is Ursula K. Le Guin’s Omelas, a fictional utopia where “the air of morning was so clear that the snow still crowning the Eighteen Peaks burned with white-gold fire.”

But Omelas holds a horrifying secret: Its continued existence relies on a single malnourished, unloved child being kept in a cellar, alone and uncomforted, in filth and fear.

Prince Harry probably didn’t have Omelas in mind when writing his new memoir, Spare. As he confesses several times in the text, he is not much of a reader. But perhaps [...] his ghostwriter, did[...] The cost of all the pomp and pageantry[...] has been the utter destruction of one boy’s mind.'

lol...

'applies his mother’s favorite moisturizer to his frost-ravaged “todger,” in a scene that my eyes almost physically rejected reading: “I found a tube, and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time. I felt as if my mother was right there in the room. Then I took a smidge and applied it … down there.”

[...] drinking champagne from a prosthetic leg at the South Pole [is that why he couldn't feel his penis getting frostbite?], [...] calling in a military jet to tail his father’s car for a laugh'

Prince Harry’s Unwitting Case for Abolishing the Monarchy

[JPK]

I'm starting to worry about your obsession with Harry's frostbite. Are you ok Azath?

[worry]

I’ve heard of a royal pain in the arse but this is somethin’ else!

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

JPK, on 13 January 2023 - 12:51 AM, said:

I'm starting to worry about your obsession with Harry's frostbite. Are you ok Azath?

It's probably the most poetic thing a British royal has ever actually done.

It deserves at least a three act play, if not a five act one.

In the style of Shakespeare of course. I'll probably ask ChatGPT to write a few.

The sacrifice he made for all mankind by revealing it to the world is probably his noblest achievement (if only he had done it at the wedding...).

The royal coat of arms should be a frostbitten penis on a field of bloody tampons, with a ragged teddy bear dexter, and a Nazi unicorn uniform sinister.

Mayan noblemen were expected to cut open their penises with obsidian blades or stingray spines, and let the blood flow to commune with gods and royal ancestors; making aspiring royals get frostbite on their genitals and then remain stoically congenial through a lengthy televised wedding seems like an apt test of their commitment to quintessential Britishness. (At least it's good to see British royalty finally learning something from American civilization....)

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 13 January 2023 - 03:20 PM

[Tsundoku]

Just to derail. Dance since the 1950s in 5 minutes. Quite clever.

It does reinforce to me how - with a few exceptions - music has gone to shit since the mid 2000s though.

https://www.onlygood...ce-1950-to-2019

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Tsundoku, on 14 January 2023 - 06:21 AM, said:

Just to derail. Dance since the 1950s in 5 minutes. Quite clever.

It does reinforce to me how - with a few exceptions - music has gone to shit since the mid 2000s though.

https://www.onlygood...ce-1950-to-2019

With TikTok's ascendancy among the young (so much for the internet promoting literacy...), songs are now tailored to spawn viral dances (based on brief snippets). And dance---as an art form with distinctive and evolving dances, at least, as opposed to generic dancing at a bar or club---seems to be more popular now than ever before... but while celebrated dances of the past were concentrated among a few vocalists or trained professional dancers, memetic selection for these new dances favors making them easy enough for many ordinary TikTok users to at least attempt. (I haven't watched enough---barely any, honestly---to say whether imitators usually aim for mechanical rote imitation or energetic and creative improvisational variations.)

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Gymnastics is dance-adjacent:

'until recently, the most you could expect in terms of a fervent fandom would be a polite but excitable phalanx of 10-year-old gymnasts patiently waiting for a glimpse of Suni Lee at a meet-and-greet.

Well, that was before LSU junior Olivia Dunne's unhinged throng of testosterone-addled teens [...] the boys were so rowdy during the meet[...] security had to be dispatched to their section.

[...] So whence, then, this excessive display from a demographic that, to be generous, has heretofore not been known for its passionate gymnastics fandom? As with many of this era's phenomena, all roads lead to TikTok.

[...] her millions of followers have translated into a name-image-likeness earnings haul like no other woman in college sport. She is the current most-followed athlete in the NCAA, and, at an estimated $2.6 million, possesses the highest valuation among all female NIL athletes.'

Olivia Dunne, LSU gymnastics and TikTok star, and her disconcerting teen boy fans, explained.

IDK if she does gymnastics dance challenges or whatever though. Guess most influencers who do dance or physical challenges benefit from not being extraordinary athletes or highly trained professional dancers on the assumption that if they can do the dance, their followers have a decent chance of being able to do it too. OTOH Olivia Dunne is apparently not good enough to compete above the college level, and not expected to improve beyond that.

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 14 January 2023 - 02:06 PM

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

'The idea of a "precolonial" Africa is theoretically vacuous, racist and plain wrong about the continent’s actual history[...]

More importantly, it is wrong to think of colonialism as a non-African phenomenon that was only brought in from elsewhere and imposed on the continent. Africa has given rise to a rich tapestry of diverse colonialisms originating in different parts of the continent. How are we to understand them? For example, if "precolonial Morocco" refers to the time before France colonised Morocco, it must deny that the 800-year Moorish colonisation of the Iberian Peninsula, much of present-day France and much of North Africa was a colonialism. [...] Similarly, a ‘precolonial’ Egypt that refers to Egypt before modern European imperialism would also deny Mohammed Ali’s colonial adventures at the head of Egypt in southern Europe and Asia Minor. [...] To conceive of the history of Africa and Africans in terms only, or primarily, of their relation to modern European empires disappears the history of Africans as colonisers of realms beyond the continent’s land borders, especially in Europe and Asia.

[...]

African history is replete with accounts of empires and kingdoms. By their nature, empires incorporate elements of colonisation in them. If this be granted, Africa must have had its fair share of colonisers and colonialists in its history. When, according to the mythohistory (the founding myth of the empire) of Mali, Sundiata gathered different nations, cultures, political leaders and others to form the empire in the mid-13th century, he did not first seek the consent of his subjects. [...] Ethiopia, another veritable empire, is a multinational, multilingual, multicultural state whose members were not willing parties to their original incorporation into the polity. Whether you think of the Oromo or the Somali, many of their successor states within Ethiopia are, as I write this, still conducting anticolonial struggles against the Ethiopian state.

[...] As an imperial formation, Ọ̀yọ́ was also a significant colonising power in West Africa. [...] Additionally, there are other areas within Nigeria and in other parts of Africa where various forms of colonisation took place.

So it seems as if Africa is no different from other parts of the world where varieties of colonisation and imperialism flourished before the arrival of the modern version. The modern colonialism that came to Africa in the 19th century has since so dominated our imaginations that it has distorted how we see many aspects of history, including that of colonialism and empire themselves.

[...] This misdescription perpetuates the racist claim that Africa is the land that Time forgot. Regardless of how often we invoke the caveat "I am not trying to say that African phenomena are homogeneous or that things are the same everywhere, but we have enough likenesses among them to enable us to speak of them as being more convergent than divergent," the truth is that "precolonial Africa" is nothing if not homogenising.

It renders invisible significant bodies of ideas that the world would do well to mind, if only we would deign to acquaint ourselves with them and rid ourselves of our colonial cathexes. [...]

Perhaps the most damning aspect of the deployment of the ‘precolonial Africa’ epithet is its implication that we don’t take the history of Africa seriously. [...] we African scholars must be the only ones whose people’s history has just three periods: one long precolonial period, which could be anywhere from the beginning of time to when colonialism, however construed, started[...]'

The idea of ‘precolonial Africa’ is vacuous and wrong

Of course, in recognizing this, we should be wary of false equivalences inadvertently propping up apologists for 'modern' European colonialism and its long-lingering after-effects. For example, some have argued that it's 'human nature' and therefore either morally justified or no worse than what all those who did not engage in modern colonialism, or colonialisms or imperialisms of a similar scope or magnitude of exploitation, suffering, death, etc., had done; while atrocities certainly had been (and have been since) committed by Africans against other Africans, these are outliers overall, and the scale was not (afaik) comparable to that of modern European colonialism.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Evolving from Violent Language to Ultraviolent Language

lol

[Nicodimas]

Anytime someone quotes media as a place of good info../eyeroll