[Mott]

Okay, Bellam Nom should be on this list by association alone. Add to that he makes friends with Murillio, expert swordsman, decides something’s up and he should be in on it, trails him and offers up his mind scarring services and psychologically tortures Snell and throws him to the dogs (or he would have if they’d been around at that point). He then looks after a couple of kids like this is just a normal day in the life of Bellam Nom and achieves the innate coolness levels of his two badass cousins like it’s some Nom genetic to be that awesome.



He realises something’s up when the babies mamma doesn’t come home and sets out to find some alternative daycare because hell he has parents too and they might be worried about him, he being some kind of heir after all, not that he talks about that much. And he’s still sounding cool.



But really, that’s not enough. He goes up to Stonny, who is all but giving up on life and does what Gruntle failed to do, he tells her to sort her shit out and all that other shit she’s responsible for because of ignoring the first lot. Oh and look after those babies cause his Nom sense tells him something’s up with Murillio and he’s on the case. He manages this without seeming like an arse.



He then goes and rescues Harllo, nearly getting himself killed in the process by fighting with a boy with serious anger issues and even when he is saved by the kid he went to save, he still seems too cool for the dueling school, because, well he’s a Nom after all.



He does this within the space of a couple of days. Oh but he’s not finished yet, he has to first encounter his older, badass (confirmed), cousins. He does and they tell him off because he has responsibilities after all and even they weren’t that bad when they were his age. They might be lying but the fact they felt the need to is proof enough of Bellam Nom’s great potential. He takes their advice cause he’s not above that, because he’s just that cool.

[Euler]

OK!

ill give my top 3 most badass players in the malazan world.

Nr 1: Has to be Iron Bars without a doubt. Most badass dude ive ever read about... I am sure Iron bars is more lethal with his bare hands then with any weapon! Noone could take him in a pure fistfight (not even Urko Oo I am so strong I break armor with my pinky!).

Nr 2: Kalam... this guy doesn't even need any magic or super god skill like most other characters to kick ass. He is just plain badass without any mumbo jumbo shit! He slaughterd like what 10 really badass assassins at the same time in malaz city after he had already killed a crapload of normal claw!


Nr 3: Quick Ben, can blast dragons and entire legions to hell if he wants to but he is just so badass he beats his opponents with his wits most of the time... (why kill gods and dragons when you can have someone else do it for you?)

[QuickWhiskeyTool]

I read this whole thread and can't believe you all missed the clear #1...

There was this little old man on a tiny Podunk island that only gets visited by pirates that are almost as gay as Johhny Depp. Yet the island is special and made up of the largest collection of badass warren lickers ever seen. This little tiny guy smacks around the warren lickers and assembles a crew of misfits.

He recruits this little douche who likes to dance and makes him his bodyguard and #2.
He recruits this strong silent type and empowers him to kill so many people that Hood has to recognize.
He sleeps around with some martial art's chick and messes up her mind so bad people start calling her Surly since she no longer smiles.

He ends up recruiting the greatest force known to the world all while looking like a crooked old turd with a pimp cane.

These are pretty cool things but he takes his show on the road, becoming master of a race of uber undead who like to kill trolls that play with ice because that ends up being what defines them to their infinite sadness.

He then conquers a continent and uses magic the likes of which no mortal has seen to smash walls, kill or contain immortal demons and finds time to also explore the single greatest mystery in the world, a bunch of houses.

He then realizes he is too bad ass to rule the world since he see's Kallor for the punk he is. So he decides to become a god and even lets #2 come along. So after dropping off #2 in the pool upon entering his "house", he starts manipulating gods, warrens and still tinkers with his mortal toys.

Somehow he still finds some free time to party with crazy monkey bat critters, find the craziest fucker alive and makes him his high priest, who blasts divers likes it 1986. Then to spice up the story he finds the hottest unobtainable priestess ever just to mess with his High Priest.

Now who could this person be... not that facade of a god but the man behind the man behind his shadow and around the corner

Kellenvad the pimp of time.

This post has been edited by QuickWhiskeyTool: 12 July 2010 - 09:42 PM

[The Seguleh 46th]

QuickWhiskeyTool, on 12 July 2010 - 09:25 PM, said:

I read this whole thread and can't believe you all missed the clear #1...

There was this little old man on a tiny Podunk island that only gets visited by pirates that are almost as gay as Johhny Depp. Yet the island is special and made up of the largest collection of badass warren lickers ever seen. This little tiny guy smacks around the warren lickers and assembles a crew of misfits.

He recruits this little douche who likes to dance and makes him his bodyguard and #2.
He recruits this strong silent type and empowers him to kill so many people that Hood has to recognize.
He sleeps around with some martial art's chick and messes up her mind so bad people start calling her Surly since she no longer smiles.

He ends up recruiting the greatest force known to the world all while looking like a crooked old turd with a pimp cane.

These are pretty cool things but he takes his show on the road, becoming master of a race of uber undead who like to kill trolls that play with ice because that ends up being what defines them to their infinite sadness.

He then conquers a continent and uses magic the likes of which no mortal has seen to smash walls, kill or contain immortal demons and finds time to also explore the single greatest mystery in the world, a bunch of houses.

He then realizes he is too bad ass to rule the world since he see's Kallor for the punk he is. So he decides to become a god and even lets #2 come along. So after dropping off #2 in the pool upon entering his "house", he starts manipulating gods, warrens and still tinkers with his mortal toys.

Somehow he still finds some free time to party with crazy monkey bat critters, find the craziest fucker alive and makes him his high priest, who blasts divers likes it 1986. Then to spice up the story he finds the hottest unobtainable priestess ever just to mess with his High Priest.

Now who could this person be... not that facade of a god but the man behind the man behind his shadow and around the corner

Kellenvad the pimp of time.

That was sweet!

[The Seguleh 46th]

Yeddan crazy killer The Watch Dude has to be tops in my book. Would have went Traveler, but fuck it! After reading his exploits, man that guy is one i'd want on my side in a brawl!

So....

1. Yedan
2. Traveler
3. Icarium (not sure i'd wanna be anywhere within 5,000 miles of his time to show how badass he really is though...)
4. Mok
5. Iron Bars (if only for Hetan's amazing post! Not only can IB kill you in a half-second flat, but he also might be a guy that'd sit down for a cold cheap beer with ya as well!)

[Veilside]

Why the crap is Tayschrenn so low down?

We first see him beating down a few High Mages, one of which is a goddamned Elder God, while simultaneously giving Rake a kicking.

Not content with that, he opens up on a dozen or so Crippled God powered mages, and blows their shit up.

Third, he bargains with his fucking god, how many others in the series can say they've gotten away with doing that?

FInally, he turns up, in the middle of a battle, beats down a mage who's stolen a dozen other mage's power (pretty much QB then) without breaking a sweat, while scaring the shit out of the Crimson Guard mages.

[Illuyankas]

LAZY BITCHES =/= BADASS

[Veilside]

So a throwaway character, A'karonys, aka shorty mc fat fat, that Tayschrenn pretty much violently sodomises rates higher?

[Illuyankas]

So you judge your badass characters on how powerful the author says they are? Hope you enjoy having Richard Rahl at the top of your Badass list, you tasteless person.

(also Paran forces other gods to do his bidding instead of 'negotiating' like a bitch)

[Veilside]

And you judge yours based on how good you think they are based off no information whatsoever?


Low blow with the Richard Rahl comment

[Bauchelain the Evil]

I'm sorry Illy but I have to agree Tayschrenn is too low. Also he didn't save his life by negotiating. By what he said to ST in TBBH it was more like " only because you're a god(ess) doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. Now stop bothering me and go do whatever worm gods do"

[Illuyankas]

Things Tays has done:

Killed most of his army
Hold a flag for most of a book
Get bitchslapped by the CG
Not save Whiskeyjack
Kill some dudes getting one-shotted with ease by Quick
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WHILE SITTING IN A ROOM FOR BOOKS ON END
Get sucked into a miasmic orifice

Things Tays has not done:

ANYTHING OF WORTH

This post has been edited by Illuyankas: 18 July 2010 - 07:20 PM

[HoosierDaddy]

Taken on Anomander Rake and lived.
Taken on Yagh who had the power of some double-digit wizards under their command, and pawned them.
Blasted the shit out of Kallor such that the Crippled God had to pull a Skinner and save him.

[Illuyankas]

So, something Anaster has done, something any marine with a cusser could do just as easily, and something Tattersail could do. Yeah.

[Aptorian]

Illuyankas, on 18 July 2010 - 07:20 PM, said:

Kill some dudes getting one-shotted with ease by Quick

You mean when Quick had to use Hoods strength to be able to do anything at all?

While Tay was capable of taking out Kallor and a whole wall of Panion mages despite the warrens being so poisonous that it should have killed him? A feat so powerful that it made Korlat amazed that Rake was able to stand against such strength from a mere mortal? Tay who was so powerful that the combined force of all the Crimson Guards magic users were shitting bricks when he stepped on the field?

Tay is so badass that he doesn't even have to act. Knowing that if he acts you're fucked is deterrent enough. He is the Weapon of Magic Destruction of the Malazan Empire.

[HoosierDaddy]

Well, there is obviously no convincing you, Illy. It is your list after all.

But, something any marine with a cusser could have done? If they get close enough, which took some bad ass people to just cover their approach, then yes, while Tay just stepped in and said: 'The fuck? I don't think so, son.'

Tattersail could have taken down Kallor? Then why didn't she? Why did Silverfox just stand their like a maroon when death marched towards her?

When did Anaster take on Rake in a sorcerous battle?

This post has been edited by H.D.: 18 July 2010 - 07:33 PM

[Illuyankas]

Aptorian, on 18 July 2010 - 07:28 PM, said:

Illuyankas, on 18 July 2010 - 07:20 PM, said:

Kill some dudes getting one-shotted with ease by Quick

You mean when Quick had to use Hoods strength to be able to do anything at all?

While Tay was capable of taking out Kallor and a whole wall of Panion mages despite the warrens being so poisonous that it should have killed him? A feat so powerful that it made Korlat amazed that Rake was able to stand against such strength from a mere mortal? Tay who was so powerful that the combined force of all the Crimson Guards magic users were shitting bricks when he stepped on the field?

Tay is so badass that he doesn't even have to act. Knowing that if he acts you're fucked is deterrent enough. He is the Weapon of Magic Destruction of the Malazan Empire.

Extorting a deity for power > keeping Silverfox alive
A judgement from a character suffering brain damage from a sword to the head to the point where she doesn't give a fuck that her brother dies literally a hill away from her some time after she should have recovered, even after she adjusts to the loss of Rake
Apart from that one Guardsman who renders his appearance utterly worthless by getting the two of them caught in the miasmic orifice, of course

and INACTION IS NOT BADASS

[Illuyankas]

H.D., on 18 July 2010 - 07:33 PM, said:

Well, there is obviously no convincing you, Illy. It is your list after all.

But, something any marine with a cusser could have done? If they get close enough, which took some bad ass people to just cover their approach, then yes, while Tay just stepped in and said: 'The fuck? I don't think so, son.'

Tattersail could have taken down Kallor? Then why didn't she? Why did Silverfox just stand their like a maroon when death marched towards her?

When did Anaster take on Rake in a sorcerous battle?

In the time period for Tays to step in and then get sucked into the miasmic orifice without doing anything to solve the problem, a marine could have exploded everything and fixed the issue instantly while leaving the pithy oneliners for afterwards.

Tattersail =/= Silverfox, Tattersail > Silverfox, and Silverfox spent enough gaping at the lack of T'lan Ay defending her for Kallor to get close enough. Because she's thick and worthless.

Rake used sorcery on him and didn't kill him. Same with the witches, actually. And Rake didn't even want to kill Tays either, so he wasn't being serious.

[worry]

Illuyankas, on 18 July 2010 - 07:34 PM, said:

and INACTION IS NOT BADASS

as a relatively lazy person, i take this as a personal affront.

[Veilside]

So other than establishing that Richard Rahl is better than any Malazan character, and that Illy is wrong, what's the point of this thread again...?