Malazan Empire: Ye Big Movie thread - Malazan Empire

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Ye Big Movie thread

#12321 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 08:26 AM

He also likes to move it, move it.
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesnít work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#12322 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 11:31 AM

View Postworry, on 02 April 2021 - 09:33 PM, said:

I thought it unfortunately had the same problems as the first three -- the monsters are genuinely great while the people are nearly-blank leftovers from Independence Day (and I was hoping for more than that from Adam Wingard). There wasn't a single line of dialogue in this move that stood above par.


I will, no offence intended, never understand this type of statement about a GODZILLA flick.

These movies aren't designed to be a movie where the dialogue stands "above par", or in which depth of character matters. Ever. They are designed for big monsters to either wreck shit, knock the fuck out of each other, or both... for our entertainment.

If you walk into a kaiju movie expecting more, then I'm not sure what to say.

Like the most meme-worthy and memorable thing in the 2014 GODZILLA flick is Ken Watanbe's character stoically saying "Let them fight". Why? Because that's what we paid to see...gigantic monsters fighting. The script knows it. We know it.

Is there a universe where a GODZILLA flick has entertaining Kaiju Action AND a depth of character and dialogue that elevates it? Maybe....but I certainly have no interest in it.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
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#12323 User is offline   Gorefest 

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 11:40 AM

Agreed. Thoughtful dialogue and character arcs should really be reserved for the Godzilla origin story movie (provisionally dubbed 'Ascendantzilla'). A sad tale about a little troubled salamander on a small japanese island in 1945.

This post has been edited by Gorefest: 09 April 2021 - 11:41 AM

She went and she left me like litter. She took all future summers with her. I lost all my money cuz I tried to bribe her. Now I can only afford an amateur sniper.
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#12324 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 12:59 PM

View PostGorefest, on 09 April 2021 - 11:40 AM, said:

Agreed. Thoughtful dialogue and character arcs should really be reserved for the Godzilla origin story movie (provisionally dubbed 'Ascendantzilla'). A sad tale about a little troubled salamander on a small japanese island in 1945.


... whose father Thomas and mother Martha are brutally murdered in an alley after going to the movies, haunting young 'Zilla and fuelling his thirst for vengeance ...
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesnít work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#12325 User is offline   Gorefest 

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 03:05 PM

....after which he gets drafted into a super-secret clandestine military program to create super-soldiersalamanders in a desperate final bid by the Japanese emperor to turn the tide of WW2...
She went and she left me like litter. She took all future summers with her. I lost all my money cuz I tried to bribe her. Now I can only afford an amateur sniper.
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#12326 User is offline   Gorefest 

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 03:05 PM

This stuff really writes itself.
She went and she left me like litter. She took all future summers with her. I lost all my money cuz I tried to bribe her. Now I can only afford an amateur sniper.
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#12327 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 03:39 PM

You know what I love about GODZILLA as an IP?

It's literally a creature written originally in the 1950's as a response to the USA bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki in WWII according to its creator (and nuclear weapons in general I guess).

GODZILLA is a world-wide phenomenon and has been a staple of monster and Kaiju-type movies and merchandise in the USA ever since then.

So the super-Capitalist USA dropped a nuclear weapon on two Japanese cities, devastating them, and the Japanese answer to that was to create a character that the USA has never stopped spending money on in 66 years.

Genius.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
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#12328 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 06:25 PM

View PostTsundoku, on 09 April 2021 - 12:59 PM, said:

View PostGorefest, on 09 April 2021 - 11:40 AM, said:

Agreed. Thoughtful dialogue and character arcs should really be reserved for the Godzilla origin story movie (provisionally dubbed 'Ascendantzilla'). A sad tale about a little troubled salamander on a small japanese island in 1945.


... whose father Thomas and mother Martha are brutally murdered in an alley after going to the movies, haunting young 'Zilla and fuelling his thirst for vengeance ...


Just as Superman is about to kill him, he cries out his motherís name? They become best friends and save the world from mothra.
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#12329 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 09 April 2021 - 08:22 PM

No offense taken, but if you want to understand this sentiment further, it's that it sucks when stuff sucks.
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#12330 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 11 April 2021 - 03:48 PM

Watched The Emperor's New Groove for the who knows how manyth time. Still the best Disney film. My two year old quite enjoyed it too!
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#12331 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 11 April 2021 - 04:43 PM

The Godzilla movie proceeds at a brisk pace - perhaps brisk enough to make moving past the several bits that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. The fights are fun to watch and the usual trope of "they fight, someone wins a little, they fight again, the other wins a little, then they unite to fight the real villain kaiju" happens.

I do think that there's some 5 minutes maybe that were left on the editing room floor (or consigned to a digital version that will only see light of day in DVD extras or director's cut) that string things together a little more coherently.

But it's a good kaiju movie. It's not as good as Skull Island or Shin Godzilla or Pacific Rim. But it's better than the second Pacific Rim.
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#12332 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 11 April 2021 - 11:15 PM

Possessor -- very good, very viscerally unpleasant at moments scifi psychological horror movie about a unique kind of hitman-for-hire. Directed by Brandon Cronenberg, son of David, and it doesn't shy away from the body horror. If you want something grim, intense, and serious while still being engaging and (if you like this kind of stuff) entertaining, this one's a must-see. Very cool (mostly) practical effects throughout. It's on HULU here in the States, not sure if Disney+ has it on their adult thing elsewhere as it's an unrated cut with unflinching violence and nudity (there's an R-rated version out there too though so maybe?).

They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#12333 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 12 April 2021 - 05:21 PM

Never have seen any of the previous Mortal Kombat movies. How many are there (they any good?).

But I guess the new Mortal Kombat movie came close to getting an NC-17 for violence. If they are, in any way, attempting to replicate the fatalities of the recent video games, that will be some crazy shit, and definitely would warrant an NC-17 rating. I might have to check it out just to see what's what.

This post has been edited by Malankazooie: 12 April 2021 - 05:23 PM

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#12334 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 12 April 2021 - 06:49 PM

original movie is so cheesy and bad its good.

number 2 a bit less so
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#12335 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 12 April 2021 - 07:10 PM

View Postworry, on 11 April 2021 - 11:15 PM, said:

Possessor -- very good, very viscerally unpleasant at moments scifi psychological horror movie about a unique kind of hitman-for-hire. Directed by Brandon Cronenberg, son of David, and it doesn't shy away from the body horror. If you want something grim, intense, and serious while still being engaging and (if you like this kind of stuff) entertaining, this one's a must-see. Very cool (mostly) practical effects throughout. It's on HULU here in the States, not sure if Disney+ has it on their adult thing elsewhere as it's an unrated cut with unflinching violence and nudity (there's an R-rated version out there too though so maybe?).

I kind of want to see this film, not sure how much gore I can take tbh haha
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#12336 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 12 April 2021 - 08:11 PM


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#12337 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 13 April 2021 - 02:22 AM

View PostTiste Simeon, on 12 April 2021 - 07:10 PM, said:

View Postworry, on 11 April 2021 - 11:15 PM, said:

Possessor -- very good, very viscerally unpleasant at moments scifi psychological horror movie about a unique kind of hitman-for-hire. Directed by Brandon Cronenberg, son of David, and it doesn't shy away from the body horror. If you want something grim, intense, and serious while still being engaging and (if you like this kind of stuff) entertaining, this one's a must-see. Very cool (mostly) practical effects throughout. It's on HULU here in the States, not sure if Disney+ has it on their adult thing elsewhere as it's an unrated cut with unflinching violence and nudity (there's an R-rated version out there too though so maybe?).

I kind of want to see this film, not sure how much gore I can take tbh haha


Hmm, just to be clear, the body horror is both of the disturbing visual metaphorical kind (a la The Fly) and the very graphic, 'realistic' violence kind. And the nudity is full body, usually (though not always) in the context of sex -- it's not Rated X or anything and it's not like a huge percentage of the runtime, but in the U.S. we have NC-17 where it's no children even with a parent (unlike R), and that's where this falls. It is, in my estimation at least, all relevant to the ideas explored in the movie (as opposed to 'gratuitous'), but I don't want to steer anyone to this who'd be disturbed in a harmful way. Not to dissuade you either, just don't want to soft sell the difficult parts or the stuff you don't want a kid walking in on.
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#12338 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 13 April 2021 - 04:53 PM

Yeah, I was already all in on this one because I love Zack Snyder, Dave Bautista, Tig Notaro, and Hiroyuki Sanada...but the concept of a Heist with Zombies (which we knew about from the first trailer)...THAT HAVE ORGANIZED UNDER A TRIBAL LORD AND CAN SUPER-FAST-DODGE FUCKING KNIVES...oh baby I'm ALLLLLLLL in.

Oh, and the use of The Gambler for the trailer is note-perfect!


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#12339 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 13 April 2021 - 05:22 PM

Better have a Mike Tyson cameo, or lost opportunity by Zacky-poo.
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#12340 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 13 April 2021 - 06:34 PM

View PostMalankazooie, on 12 April 2021 - 05:21 PM, said:

Never have seen any of the previous Mortal Kombat movies. How many are there (they any good?).

But I guess the new Mortal Kombat movie came close to getting an NC-17 for violence. If they are, in any way, attempting to replicate the fatalities of the recent video games, that will be some crazy shit, and definitely would warrant an NC-17 rating. I might have to check it out just to see what's what.

There were two movies - the first one is a martial arts classic and shockingly good in a cheesy way. The second has ok moments, but isn't good.

There was also a tv series (MK Conquest) that was... trying, but didn't succeed much because it felt like the writing and production value didn't fit the story being attempted. The actors were a mixed bag too.

Then there was a reimagining by Kevin Tancharoen that was short webisodes. That was mostly pretty good. It didn't go anywhere and the Tancharoens went into Agents of Shield, which ended up being a bigger success for them too.
I survived the Permian and all I got was this t-shirt.
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