[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted, but it's written in Swahili!

I wish I wasn't so bored.

[masan's saddle]

You are no longer bored, mentally speaking.
Instead you are" bored" by Bruce the bum bandit and his 12" custard shooter!

I wish there was a rollercoaster on the end of my street

[Slow Ben]

You get your rollercoaster, then the influx of carnies camping in your fron yard forces you to move.

I wish the Cardinals had a closer...

[masan's saddle]

Slow Ben, on Apr 7 2009, 01:18 AM, said:

You get your rollercoaster, then the influx of carnies camping in your fron yard forces you to move.

I wish the Cardinals had a closer...

Assuming this is a rounders question ? The Cardinals get a closer, but due to the mundane and mind numbing boredom that this "sport" induces no one cares.

I wish I was closer to my Cardinal

[Zanth13]

Granted you are closer to your cardinal, in fact he attempts to touch you...

I wish for a beer that never runs out

[frookenhauer]

you get a beer that never runs out...unfortunately in your mad with glee dance you fall over and bang your head and now for some crazy unexplained reason the beer that floweth over tastes like shit, but you're addicted to it. Oh the pain!

I wish to have the knack of not pissing off women regularly or even when I open my mouth

[Stradivarius]

you suddenly find you have this new found talent were women speak to u like u and get on with you! but unforntunatly this means you had to get a sex change.

i wish someone round here would do some bloody work instead of having to do it all myself

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted...but they do it according to the whim of a pig! A greater power than yourself.

I wish we didn't have this weekend off football.

[Zanth13]

Granted, instead you you have every week after it off, forever....

I wish i had a cork screw...

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted...but you have no cork!

I wish for a chocolate donut.

[Zanth13]

Granted, but you become deatly allergic to chocolate... and donuts... and pizza just because

I wish for a wallet the never runs out of 100 dollar US bills

[frookenhauer]

you get your wish and have a wallet that never runs out of 100 dollar bills, in fact it grows crazy producing them and pretty soon you are surrounded by a mountain of money and then worse, unle sam decides that 100 dollar bills can no longer be recognised as legal tender

I wish for all family trips to be fun

[masan's saddle]

They are fun Frook, especially as it's the Manson family....., stabby stabby slice slice......., Frook's been carved and served with rice.

I wish mayonaise was banned everywhere

[Sixty]

It is, but mayonnaise isn't--instead, it supplants ketchup as the most popular condiment.


I wish I didn't have a cold.

[masan's saddle]

Sixty, on Apr 10 2009, 02:03 AM, said:

It is, but mayonnaise isn't--instead, it supplants ketchup as the most popular condiment.


I wish I didn't have a cold.

Tough shit you have got a cold, but that's not what kills you. The spelling based gag avenger kicks down your door and beats you to death with a dictionary.

I wish my mutt would stop dropping it's guts

[Sixty]

It does--now it drops its guts instead of "it is guts".



okay: Your dog stops shitting. In fact, the part of his digestive system that handles excrement stops functioning altogether.

Eventually, it builds up and explodes, showering your home in shit and dog body parts.



I wish I could remember what the fucking word is for that part of the digestive system.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted...but it is a highly embarassing word in social situations and you scream it out loud! Hahahahahahahahha!!!!!

I wish I could go outside.

[Bent]

Ain't_It_Just_, on Apr 10 2009, 01:42 AM, said:

Granted...but it is a highly embarassing word in social situations and you scream it out loud! Hahahahahahahahha!!!!!

I wish I could go outside.

You go outside and are attacked by killer bees..you go into anaphalactic shock and die screaming

I wish it was next Thursday already so my 11 day vacation would be starting....

[Zanth13]

You are transported to next thursday but they gave you your vacation time early so you end up missing most of it...

I wish I wasnt so queesy from drinking so much

[Bent]

You are no longer queasy due primarily to the fact that your stomach has deflated and your stomach acids pour out of you mouth, nose, ears, and eyes until you die.

I wish I had a hot air balloon!