amphibian, on 18 July 2023 - 03:08 AM, said:
QuickTidal, on 17 July 2023 - 05:47 PM, said:
Slow Ben, on 17 July 2023 - 05:25 PM, said:
That’s bullshit. You deserve better family members QT.
I find it hard to fault my dad as he's really just trying to navigate my stepmom's depression issues and not end up with her trying to unalive herself again...but yeah it's hard. My wife is damned solid support though, so at least I have that.
He's hurting you to help her. That's his decision and he's backed it up a few times.
It's a cruddy choice that apparently he feels like he has to make.
Big fan of your wife going with you and maybe you'll establish a tradition with your kids someday.
Gorefest, on 18 July 2023 - 07:14 AM, said:
QT: sorry to hear that and I appreciate it sucks. But clearly your dad loves your stepmom a lot and is concerned about her wellbeing. You are doing well and have your own support network. So perhaps instead of trying to recreate historical bonds that you cherish but may not necessarily be as emotive to your dad, maybe try and find things that you both like that also include your stepmom? Making new connections instead of trying to revive old ones can be a wonderful and often surprising adventure, even later in life.
(For reference, I am 46 and my dad is in another country and wheelchair bound, so I am haply for any sort of relationship I can maintain, even if it isn't the woodland walks or bicycle trips that we used to make anymore).
Yeah, thanks guys. That makes sense. I know at heart he's doing what he feels he needs to do...
-----------------
New messing with groove.....yesterday on the subway on the way home I was non-verbally threatened. So that was fun. The TTC these days is always a craps shoot for what crazy person (be they just homeless, or crazy and homeless, or drugged out and insane, or tweaking and yelling....the list goes on) is going to do what on what car. Line 2 is still in cars (Line 1 is one long connected car, but that didn't stop this from happening on that line the other day
*trigger warning for violence*
so Line 1 is not safer by being one car with many people....
Anyways, I'm sitting the whole ride, and nothing is going on. Listening to an audiobook and in my own world, I always get up one before my stop as to let anyone who is getting on at that stop have a shot at my seat. So I'm standing back from the doors as they open and admit a scattering of people...I THINK this guy got on there as I had not seen him during the rest of my ride prior to that...this guy sits (I'm not noticing him at this point)...as the doors close and we move o ff to my station, I move towards the doors and stand next to another individual at those doors, and there's a guy in front of me waiting to get off too. There's a gap beside him in front of the right side of the doors. The guy sitting (right next to the doors) gets up, faces me (I'm staring forwards, and he's standing aside me glaring) he's all of 5 inches from me and he's glaring hard (he had a dirty beard, and dark sunglasses....but didn't exactly look homeless or super crazy....more street-level sketchpad; probably addict?)...so I feel like he wants to get somewhere and won't say that to me....so I back up a bit....he steps in between me and the other guy getting off...and then with his filthy backpack on, he begins to kind of back up...I'm not stupid. I've lived downtown for 20 years, I know when someone is trying to start shit....he's backing up as he wants to push into me and either start shit or cause me discomfort. So I move all the way back with two other people at the other set of doors. He steps into the gap on the right in front of the doors....and then he TURNS around and GLARES at me again....I ignore him entirely and stare elsewhere (it is never a good idea to engage with these people EVER, even eye contact)...eventually he turns back around to stand directly in front of the right side of the doors. My stop arrives (bear in mind this happens in the 1 minute it takes to go from one station to the next in the city) and the person on the left gets off, but Glare-man does EXACTLY what I expect him to do and stands in the way on the right not moving, not getting off...after the guy on the left gets off I just say fuck it and follow him off ignoring the standing asshole on the right. He does not follow me (I admit I expected a follow, a nasty comment, or even a shove). I did nothing to this individual. Nothing. I did what I do every day, got up to let someone have my seat a stop early and waited to get off the subway....for whatever reason, this guy was trying to either pick a fight with me, or show me his power moves of getting in my way. At any rate. I'm super sick of the TTC being this much of a shitshow every day. No one is doing anything to help the homeless, addicts, mental health issue people who use the subway as a home....which is the root of the problem, and no one is policing the lines so this stuff doesn't happen.
Now I'm lucky. I'm a decently sized male so the odds someone is going to really pop off against me if I don't engage are low, but if I were someone of a more petite stature I bet this guy would have felt emboldened...
I stil ride the TTC, but my head is on a swivel constantly and when I see anyone who looks even remotely off...I willl get off and get on the next one. The only reason I didn't notice this guy and avoid him when he got on was I was into my audio book and wasn't paying attention. That's it for my AirPods in the immediate future...I'm not going to be distracted again.
This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 18 July 2023 - 12:24 PM
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
"Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone." ~Ursula Vernon