[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 05 April 2023 - 05:49 PM, said:

amphibian, on 05 April 2023 - 05:17 PM, said:

Puking and shitting means they stay outside and can do like a distanced (meters away) greeting, collection of packaged food, and return to hotel room.

Exposing 10+ other people to this seems like a rotten risk to take bc of the puke and shit factor.

Tiste Simeon, on 05 April 2023 - 05:20 PM, said:

amphibian, on 05 April 2023 - 05:17 PM, said:

Puking and shitting means they stay outside and can do like a distanced (meters away) greeting, collection of packaged food, and return to hotel room.

Exposing 10+ other people to this seems like a rotten risk to take bc of the puke and shit factor.

Agreed. Kinda douvhey to rock up and make it your problem. You need to protect everyone else, especially your gf if she's vulnerable.

Thirded. They can hang out at the hotel if they are sick with a possible contagious virus like Noro.

These two are not your sole responsibility, they are also adults and should understand that they cannot put people at viral risk at your events. If they were good humans, they would get this.

EDIT: Case in point, my wife had something stomach-y (wether is was Noro which is also going round our city) or something else two weeks back, we still called my dad who we had plans with and cancelled to avoid going out and possibly getting others sick. It's common courtesy an we didn't even blink cancelling.

Fourth'd.
As a general rule anyone bringing along one of the plagues is banned from the Seder.

[Tsundoku]

Abyss, on 06 April 2023 - 04:36 AM, said:

As a general rule anyone bringing along one of the plagues is banned from the Seder.

[Mezla PigDog]

You know how most of life is learned behaviour? Like, nobody walks into traffic because they have been told it's a really bad idea? A lot of parenting is the same. I have not witnessed the consequences myself but I'm pretty sure I should not condone the behaviour.

So I collected my kid from school holiday club each evening this week. We gave him a huge packed lunch each day but it was never enough. Last night I was just left saying he could eat whatever fruit or vegetable based item he wanted while we waited for the 30minutes while his dinner cooked.

He chose dried apricots.

I have heard dried apricots have a laxative effect if eaten to excess. My kid has never cared about any fruit, dried or otherwise , to excess. But this week he was hungry.

Today I had to clean human excrement off all areas of our downstairs toilet and a weeping child. Whilst also shielding the poo explosion from his class mate who was over for a play date. Dried apricots in excessive amounts are absolutely a bad thing.

[Slow Ben]

Mezla PigDog, on 07 April 2023 - 09:30 PM, said:

You know how most of life is learned behaviour? Like, nobody walks into traffic because they have been told it's a really bad idea? A lot of parenting is the same. I have not witnessed the consequences myself but I'm pretty sure I should not condone the behaviour.

So I collected my kid from school holiday club each evening this week. We gave him a huge packed lunch each day but it was never enough. Last night I was just left saying he could eat whatever fruit or vegetable based item he wanted while we waited for the 30minutes while his dinner cooked.

He chose dried apricots.

I have heard dried apricots have a laxative effect if eaten to excess. My kid has never cared about any fruit, dried or otherwise , to excess. But this week he was hungry.

Today I had to clean human excrement off all areas of our downstairs toilet and a weeping child. Whilst also shielding the poo explosion from his class mate who was over for a play date. Dried apricots in excessive amounts are absolutely a bad thing.

TIL that the reason I’ve pooped 8 times in the last two days is because I’ve had dried apricots for lunch 4 days in a row this week.

I thought I had a bug……😀

[Cause]

Finished my first week on my new job. The team seems great, a trip to Cambridge was fun but sadly happened to fast for me to plan anything. I was so happy to put this chapter of unemployment behind me and the job seems great.

However I realized around Thursday/Friday that I am carrying a lot of anxiety. What if they fire me tomorrow for no reason? No reason Im worried just the general anxiety of at will employment and a scar from my recent firing. I imagine with a few more weeks it will go away but I hate this feeling. What if I’m fired. What if I use my car allowance to get a car and then I lose my job. Medical insurance kicks in may first so I won’t need cobra, what if I’m fired before the end of April.

[Cause]

I need to find a new sushi place. I have a place literallya round the corner where I am a fairly decent regular. I might go a month without ordering from them, but I also have weeks with multiple orders. Today I ordered a pickup though the web but when I got to the store and paid they told me they had added a 2 dollar surcharge to combat supposed higher card fees. I do not carry cash, its inconvenient in general but the South African in me also avoids it where carrying cash can invite theft/mugging.

Now I am annoyed by the swindle of not beign warned before I arrived but I didnt have the time or care to argue about 2 bucks. However I'm not paying an extra 2 bucks every order. Card fees are a percentage and the new card fees cannot be an extra ten percent of my order. Also whats the logic of saying the resturant is getting squeezed by credit cards companies so they decided to squeeze me. If they had raised prices I would have noticed maybe or cared but this way leaves a really abd taste in my mouth.

[amphibian]

Cause, on 10 April 2023 - 01:29 AM, said:

I need to find a new sushi place. I have a place literallya round the corner where I am a fairly decent regular. I might go a month without ordering from them, but I also have weeks with multiple orders. Today I ordered a pickup though the web but when I got to the store and paid they told me they had added a 2 dollar surcharge to combat supposed higher card fees. I do not carry cash, its inconvenient in general but the South African in me also avoids it where carrying cash can invite theft/mugging.

Now I am annoyed by the swindle of not beign warned before I arrived but I didnt have the time or care to argue about 2 bucks. However I'm not paying an extra 2 bucks every order. Card fees are a percentage and the new card fees cannot be an extra ten percent of my order. Also whats the logic of saying the resturant is getting squeezed by credit cards companies so they decided to squeeze me. If they had raised prices I would have noticed maybe or cared but this way leaves a really abd taste in my mouth.

You can call them, then pay upon pickup to save the web fees.

[QuickTidal]

The Dalai Lama continues to be an absolute shitbag of a human...

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

QuickTidal, on 10 April 2023 - 04:10 PM, said:

The Dalai Lama continues to be an absolute shitbag of a human...

Quote

During my elementary-school years, Tibetan monks lived with my family. My parents hosted them in part because offering alms to monks is one of the strongest ways to generate positive karma. [...] When, in the face of suffering, you act with intentions that balance compassion and wisdom, you purify the karmic seed so that it no longer affects your present and future circumstances. [...]

The monk who stayed with my family the longest[...] really liked kissing me and my sister on the mouth, even though we would shriek and run and push him away whenever he tried.

We even had a kissing game: When the monk and my mom made thentuk (a Tibetan soup), they'd make one noodle longer than the others. If you got what became known as "the big noodle," you got to choose whoever you wanted to kiss and they had to let you.

[...] the monk [...] had grown up in a monastery in India

What it was like to be raised by American Buddhists. (slate.com)

Seems like the kissing-on-the-lips thing may be a cultural difference? Even in many European cultures it's a common non-sexual greeting.

Quote

sticking out your tongue is a traditional greeting in Tibet dating back more than a thousand years to the ninth century.


Longer video footage of the Dalai Lama's incident with the child appears to show the boy not actually going through with the spiritual leader's tongue-sucking request with the pair hugging afterward.


[...] "However, it sometimes happens that off the cuff remarks, which might be amusing in one cultural context, lose their humor in translation when brought into another. He regrets any offense that may have been given,"

Dalai Lama Apologizes for Asking Young Boy to 'Suck My Tongue' (yahoo.com)

But forcing or coercing physical contact on anyone, especially a child, is generally unethical, even if the aversion is viewed as an irrational cultural taboo (and it should also apply to things like handshakes or being packed into a crowded room with unwanted physical contact---though exceptions should be made for restraining people from injuring themselves or others); it probably conditions them to be more accepting of sexual abuse; and of course the Dalai Lama's supposed to be setting an example....

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 10 April 2023 - 04:30 PM

[Cause]

amphibian, on 10 April 2023 - 03:58 PM, said:

Cause, on 10 April 2023 - 01:29 AM, said:

I need to find a new sushi place. I have a place literallya round the corner where I am a fairly decent regular. I might go a month without ordering from them, but I also have weeks with multiple orders. Today I ordered a pickup though the web but when I got to the store and paid they told me they had added a 2 dollar surcharge to combat supposed higher card fees. I do not carry cash, its inconvenient in general but the South African in me also avoids it where carrying cash can invite theft/mugging.

Now I am annoyed by the swindle of not beign warned before I arrived but I didnt have the time or care to argue about 2 bucks. However I'm not paying an extra 2 bucks every order. Card fees are a percentage and the new card fees cannot be an extra ten percent of my order. Also whats the logic of saying the resturant is getting squeezed by credit cards companies so they decided to squeeze me. If they had raised prices I would have noticed maybe or cared but this way leaves a really abd taste in my mouth.

You can call them, then pay upon pickup to save the web fees.

No I did pay when I picked up, they have a new rule in store that to use a credit card costs 2 dollars more. Stuff that. I can’t believe credit card fees went up more than a percent.

————————

I car very little about Dali lama. I don’t believe the supposed reincarnation has any more wisdom or compassion than any of his fellow monks would have. Never understood his celebrity, other than the fact that so many celebrities like him. That may be all that is needed

Still never heard why else he is a terrible human being. What did he do before.

[QuickTidal]

Cause, on 11 April 2023 - 05:09 PM, said:

Still never heard why else he is a terrible human being. What did he do before.

There's a list, it's googleable.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Cause, on 11 April 2023 - 05:09 PM, said:

I car very little about Dali lama. I don't believe the supposed reincarnation has any more wisdom or compassion than any of his fellow monks would have. Never understood his celebrity, other than the fact that so many celebrities like him. That may be all that is needed

Selection process is almost certainly better than that of an inbred royal (after several generations of inbreeding, at least); and the training substantially better. But of course that's saying very little (if not a vacuum of virtual bubbles pooping into and out of power(noohnoledge)...).

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Quote

A young Buddhism student was raped and impregnated by her spiritual leader, who told her she should keep the baby because she would be giving birth to an enlightened guru like him[...]


[...] she initially found comfort and guidance at the [...] Retreat Center led by a Tibetan Buddhist guru known as Choga [...]

The lawsuit said he had also told her to suck his tongue before groping and penetrating her, claiming that it was all part of “tantric empowerment” and his Buddhist teachings.

Oregon Student Accuses Tibetan Buddhist Guru, Dzogchen Khenpo Choga Rinpoche, of Rape (thedailybeast.com)

That lawsuit was filed in December---the Dalai Lama 'suck my tongue' video is from February... I'd hope he would been mindful of it. For a moment at least....

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

This is a weird mix of MWMG and happy, so bear with me.

My normal Instagram account is private, but I have a second account for a charity challenge I'm doing at the moment for The Trussell Trust. Someone, behind a grey face and meaningless account name, decided to message me on that non-private account with screenshots of my abusive ex's Twitter feed, where some nearly nine years after I left him he (in the past week) is accusing me of being the abusive party, detailing how he was "trapped in the relationship" (he owned both of the places we lived solely, and never let me forget it or missed an opportunity to imply he could throw me out, so that's, um, an interesting take on the actual dynamics of the situation) and "lost his identity and it took him years to get it back" and giving some very twisted examples to paint me as a monster and him as an innocent victim.

I still don't know if I'm completely okay, really. It was a huge shock on a few levels, not least that he's still talking about me nine years later to the point of needing to peddle this narrative, which feels incredibly creepy. I don't talk about him or my experiences at all anymore, except in a circumstance where I'm explaining one of the things that make me very jumpy still. I don't even wish to understand why someone thought it was okay to send that to me, or what their motivation for doing so was. It was also unnerving because there were interactions he described that I recognised and I would never go so far as to say there aren't things I said or did that I'm not ashamed of, or that I would never do or say in normal circumstances. I was often frightened and confused, and occasionally lashed out. I've no wish to excuse the fact I said some very mean things when doing so, but I do think the context of the situation after years of being treated very cruelly and constantly gaslit and lied to is important.

We've also just been getting the house ready to go on the market and have our first viewings of houses we potentially want to buy this weekend. To say Mr Not a Blacksmith and I are running on fumes at this point is an understatement, and so I'm probably a bit shakier than I would usually be as well.

Anyway, the happy bit. For context, oddly it was this ex who introduced me to Star Trek: The Next Generation. I loved it instantly, but it became another thing he could be cruel to me about because I often reacted to the more emotional plot points and characters (I have an abiding love for Deanna Troi, even if she is underserved by the writing, for example - and I always loved the episodes focusing on Data's quest to be more human). So, as much as I loved it, it became another stick to beat me with about being too sensitive and emotional (emotions = weakness was a very clear through line with him). Despite this, it's often been the comfort telly I returned to over the years and it was a feature of the early days after having left, where I watched it again by myself and revelled in all the emotional bits, and it felt like a successful small rebellion.

Spoilered for those who may wish to watch it, but I just watched the penultimate episode of Star Trek: Picard this morning and:

Spoiler

They brought back the Enterprise D, and all the old bridge crew except for Wesley were together on the bridge again.

I have just sat and cried like a baby for a good few minutes and it felt like such a catharsis. I don't think I realised how important TNG was to me, and how woven into the fabric of my recovery it truly is until this morning.

Short version: people are sometimes still awful, but TNG is always wonderful.

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 14 April 2023 - 07:15 AM

[Tiste Simeon]

Ugh that sucks TRB I dunno why someone would think it's ok to send that stuff to you. Your ex is a monumental douchenozzle and he'll always believe himself to be the injured party in this, regardless. Narcissistic turds are just like that.

Look forward, not backwards. I know it's easier to say than actually do, but from what I know of, you've taken huge steps away from him and now is just a bump in the road. You're better than him and stronger than this.

It would probably help if your current partner actually started learning how to be a blacksmith though...

This post has been edited by Tiste Simeon: 14 April 2023 - 07:44 AM

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Tiste Simeon, on 14 April 2023 - 07:44 AM, said:

Ugh that sucks TRB I dunno why someone would think it's ok to send that stuff to you. Your ex is a monumental douchenozzle and he'll always believe himself to be the injured party in this, regardless. Narcissistic turds are just like that.

Look forward, not backwards. I know it's easier to say than actually do, but from what I know of, you've taken huge steps away from him and now is just a bump in the road. You're better than him and stronger than this.

It would probably help if your current partner actually started learning how to be a blacksmith though...

Thanks Tiste

And yes, he's not perfect but he does his non-blacksmithing best

[QuickTidal]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 14 April 2023 - 06:58 AM, said:

Spoilered for those who may wish to watch it, but I just watched the penultimate episode of Star Trek: Picard this morning and:

Spoiler

They brought back the Enterprise D, and all the old bridge crew except for Wesley were together on the bridge again.

I have just sat and cried like a baby for a good few minutes and it felt like such a catharsis. I don't think I realised how important TNG was to me, and how woven into the fabric of my recovery it truly is until this morning.

This was me as well.

Spoiler

And for me, TNG was something my mother and I shared that no one else in our family did. We watched it together religiously for its whole run...so seeing them together on that ship again hit me like a tonne of bricks, and not the least of that is that she never got to see it. I wish she had, but as I was sobbing I told her that I was watching it with her in sprit.

But yeah, it was an INCREDIBLE scene and I'm so glad we got it.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

QuickTidal, on 14 April 2023 - 12:15 PM, said:

This was me as well.

Spoiler

And for me, TNG was something my mother and I shared that no one else in our family did. We watched it together religiously for its whole run...so seeing them together on that ship again hit me like a tonne of bricks, and not the least of that is that she never got to see it. I wish she had, but as I was sobbing I told her that I was watching it with her in sprit.

But yeah, it was an INCREDIBLE scene and I'm so glad we got it.

Sending hugs, QT. What a lovely thing to have shared Trek with your mum.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Quote

Tibetans Explain What ‘Suck My Tongue’ Means. It’s Not What You Think.

[...] viral video showing the Dalai Lama asking a kid to “suck” his tongue—and the subsequent public outrage—has led to hundreds of Tibetans to come out and tell the world: It’s not what it sounds like.

[...] the meaning of this common expression used to tease and teach children is completely lost in cultural interpretation and its English translation. The correct phrase in Tibetan for this joke is “Che le sa”, which roughly translates to “Eat my tongue.” [... the Dailai Lama] speaks in broken English at public events.

[...] “Broken English helps me communicate better and creates laughter when I make mistakes,” [...]


[...] a game played between the Tibetan elderly and children. Kids who go up to their grandfather, for instance, are asked to kiss their grandfather’s forehead, touch their noses and kiss them.

“Then [the grandfather] says that I’ve given you everything so the only thing left is for you to eat my tongue,” [...]

“The word ‘suck’ in the Tibetan language is ‘jhip’, and this is not a word that is sexualised in our culture,” [...]

[...] said that it’s “distressing” to see an innocent expression in their culture being equated with act of pedophilia.

[...] “This is not just a religious guru we‘re protecting. He’s the reason for our very existence [...]”


Tibetans Explain What ‘Suck My Tongue’ Means. It’s Not What You Think. (vice.com)

Interesting... though I imagine he should have known about Choga's sexual use of the phrase.

[Macros]

Fuck social media and all the horrible wankers of the world it enables.
Want to be an absolute bastard? Try doing it without anonimity