[Una]

I've always wondered about that too. I mean, among my circle, it's not considered cheap, but I've heard that there are people who will think it is. Then again, we Asians can be shamelessly cheap. Being able to spot a good deal, while still being smart enough to avoid the "deals" that are actually scams, is considered a virtue and a desirable trait. Why would a restaurant put out a coupon or a promotion if they weren't expecting you to use it?

Therefore, I would think nothing of someone saying, "Hey, someone gave me a gift card to the Olive Garden. Wanna come with me and help me use it?" But I think you do set the tone for it being a more casual date that way, which is fine if that's what you are going for. If you are trying to impress someone by wining and dining her though, that's probably not the way to go. But really, if you are going to a place like Olive Garden or Chilis, I suspect you weren't trying to impress anyone with your fancy taste and money to begin with, so how does that change anything? You're going to have to make up for the lack by being a brilliant conversationalist though, because I don't think the food is going to do it. As along as you're not all like, "my coupon only covers entrees up to $16, so don't pick anything more expensive than that", I would be ok.

[Abyss]

Briar King, on 29 June 2013 - 07:26 PM, said:

Copying this from the Inn cause its relevant here but I ll expand:

Trying to decide if it would make me look cheap to take 2 dif women out to Olive Garden and Chilles with gift cards at both places...hmm what to do?

It be the 2nd time out with one girl 1st with the other and I'm now hesitant where or not to use gift cards or cash.

Unless those are fine dining in your area, i say not a good idea. Not at the first n second date stage.

[Una]

I agree. It sounds pretty casual for a first date, but maybe you should just ignore everything I say about courting. I tend to prefer low pressure things like coffee dates or a bike ride and ice cream in the beginning. Fine dining and the opera doesn't happen until much later if things go well. Is that backwards? Sounds like I've been doing it wrong for a long time.

[amphibian]

Una, on 29 June 2013 - 11:26 PM, said:

"Hey, someone gave me a gift card to the Olive Garden. Wanna come with me and help me use it?"

This is the perfect way to go about it.

And you can get a nicer bottle of wine than usual or something.

[Abyss]

PRELIMINARY MODGOD NOTICE OF As a general note i'll skip commenting on some of the sentiments expressed upthread (by various) except to remind all that there is a line, don't cross it....

@BK...Olive Garden ... Chilli's... and gift certificates... imnsho your odds of impressing anyone increase significantly by not involving any of these things. I think a cute local burger place would have more charm than screaming family-spawn and the blue-plate special gray-haired crowd that frequent those places mostly for the free refills. You can do better. You SHOULD do better.

Break out the GCs on the fourth or so date when you've both crawled out of bed after a day and a half sexbender and you're starving and all the non-combustible food in the fridge is smeared on the floor or jamming the shower drain.

[Spoilsport Stonny]

I disagree. Its about what you make of the date, and how much you can charm the person. The quaint burger joint is ok if thats the type of thing you do or are familiar with, but don't try to be something you arent just to impress a chick. Its YOU that the other person will be impressed with.

Lots of girls will say yes to any free dinner, but you can work some magic during the date to hook them with your witty steez and give yourself a shot at whatever your ultimate goal is.

Definitley bring up the gift certificates at the suggestion of the restaurant though. Don't want to look duplicitous.

That said, if you are dull and have little personality, and your goal is sex, and you aren't very attractive (like less than a 5 out of 10), then throw cash at the situation. It always works.

This post has been edited by Spoilsport Stonny: 03 July 2013 - 06:01 PM

[Abyss]

I disagree with your disagreement. Sure, BK can take either date to these places and maybe he is so Sexy McSex that his dates will swoon, but i say he's starting in the negative. 'He took me to Chili's' doesn't blow anyone's mind at the watercooler the next day. There's nothing charming about a family restaurant on a gift certificate unless you're basing your 'do me' pitch on wanting kids asap and basic fiscal planning. 'Just be yourself' is weak advice when it send the message 'likes mediocre food and cheap'.

[D'rek]

Spoilsport Stonny, on 03 July 2013 - 05:59 PM, said:

I disagree. Its about what you make of the date, and how much you can charm the person. The quaint burger joint is ok if thats the type of thing you do or are familiar with, but don't try to be something you arent just to impress a chick. Its YOU that the other person will be impressed with.

I was agreeing with you here...

Spoilsport Stonny, on 03 July 2013 - 05:59 PM, said:

Lots of girls will say yes to any free dinner, but you can work some magic during the date to hook them with your witty steez and give yourself a shot at whatever your ultimate goal is.

...then started to disagree a bit here...

Spoilsport Stonny, on 03 July 2013 - 05:59 PM, said:

Definitley bring up the gift certificates at the suggestion of the restaurant though. Don't want to look duplicitous.

...didn't really care one way or another here...

Spoilsport Stonny, on 03 July 2013 - 05:59 PM, said:

That said, if you are dull and have little personality, and your goal is sex, and you aren't very attractive (like less than a 5 out of 10), then throw cash at the situation. It always works.

...and you've completely soiled my opinion of you here.

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Awww, that was meant as a silly joke. being as this whole thread is about s-e-x. Even Abyss admits its about gettin some. Alas, most of my relationships have mirrored the same rise and fall that you have just gone through over my post.

My major point, and i will stick to it, is that if a date is more concerned over the restaurant than getting to know you, then they are weighing the risk of "could turn out to be a great person with a future together" with "hey at least its a free meal". So if BK goes into for the chance at getting his knob gobbled, then by all means, success would be determined first by looks, second by personality as long as his appearance is not horrid, and third by the restaurant.

The water cooler conversation would take a completely different track if he was a wildman in the sack. Chilis would be a wonderful memory for the lady and they do have a bar area for grown ups.

Also, unless he is slick with the GCs, he should tell her beforehand that he plans on using them. I would suggest saying that they expire soon and he doesnt want them to go to waste. Say they were a gift feom grandma, and she lives on a fixed income.

EDIT: Just realized I probably did nothing to endear mysef to D'rek with this follow up. Win some, lose some.

This post has been edited by Spoilsport Stonny: 04 July 2013 - 12:20 AM

[Abyss]

As far as 'but i just want to get laid' goes... fine. And then when adulthood kicks in, it's time for a rethink. Call me crazy, but if you want to make a good impression, setting the bar low at the outset isn't the way to do it.

I'm fully aware of the mindset that runs 'if s/he really likes me for me s/he won't care if we take the bus to Burger King and go dutch'.... And i say fuck that. That's fine when you're in high school with no income and a brain full of hormones and John Hughes movie sountracks. Adulthood means you can start dating like you're actually out there trying to meet someone you want to spend more time with. Yes, the date shouldn't be concerned about the restuarant, because the restaurant shouldn't be some place you selected for the free breadsticks.

If you want to impress someone, bring your A game, whatever that may be. Or at least your B game. Pick somewhere nice. Not expensive, but nice, as in you can have a conversation without screaming children as a sound track and your gransmother doesn't dine there before 5pm on Sundays. Show up like you give a damn how you look, as in take a shower and have no visible stains or rips on your clothes that aren't meant to be there. Put some thought into it. Put a LITTLE BIT of thought into it. Chilli's has a bar... yes, because the adults need to get away from the screaming devil spawn and drink to surpress the dismal knowledge that THEY'RE ADULTS AT THE BAR AT FRIKKIN CHILLI'S. (qualifier: i''ve eaten at Chillis. the food is fine. the service too. i could say the same for every Olive Garden, Montanas, Casey's, East Side Mario's, Sizzler etc etc in the known world. But i stopped going there for dates as soon as 'date' meant more than a 7pm movie and my parents picking me up in the parking lot.)

And if you don't want to impress someone, DON'T GO ON THE FUCKING DATE.


And if the response remains 'but i still just wann get laid', then so be it, my point remains that your chances are better if you follow the same approach.

[D'rek]

Spoilsport Stonny, on 03 July 2013 - 11:59 PM, said:

Awww, that was meant as a silly joke. being as this whole thread is about s-e-x. Even Abyss admits its about gettin some. Alas, most of my relationships have mirrored the same rise and fall that you have just gone through over my post.

My major point, and i will stick to it, is that if a date is more concerned over the restaurant than getting to know you, then they are weighing the risk of "could turn out to be a great person with a future together" with "hey at least its a free meal". So if BK goes into for the chance at getting his knob gobbled, then by all means, success would be determined first by looks, second by personality as long as his appearance is not horrid, and third by the restaurant.

The water cooler conversation would take a completely different track if he was a wildman in the sack. Chilis would be a wonderful memory for the lady and they do have a bar area for grown ups.

Also, unless he is slick with the GCs, he should tell her beforehand that he plans on using them. I would suggest saying that they expire soon and he doesnt want them to go to waste. Say they were a gift feom grandma, and she lives on a fixed income.

EDIT: Just realized I probably did nothing to endear mysef to D'rek with this follow up. Win some, lose some.

Just to be clear, it's the "then throw cash at the situation. It always works" (translation: any girl will sleep with you if you spend enough money on her) bit that I'm strongly disagreeing with here.

Abyss, on 04 July 2013 - 02:41 PM, said:

As far as 'but i just want to get laid' goes... fine. And then when adulthood kicks in, it's time for a rethink. Call me crazy, but if you want to make a good impression, setting the bar low at the outset isn't the way to do it.

I'm fully aware of the mindset that runs 'if s/he really likes me for me s/he won't care if we take the bus to Burger King and go dutch'.... And i say fuck that. That's fine when you're in high school with no income and a brain full of hormones and John Hughes movie sountracks. Adulthood means you can start dating like you're actually out there trying to meet someone you want to spend more time with. Yes, the date shouldn't be concerned about the restuarant, because the restaurant shouldn't be some place you selected for the free breadsticks.

If you want to impress someone, bring your A game, whatever that may be. Or at least your B game. Pick somewhere nice. Not expensive, but nice, as in you can have a conversation without screaming children as a sound track and your gransmother doesn't dine there before 5pm on Sundays. Show up like you give a damn how you look, as in take a shower and have no visible stains or rips on your clothes that aren't meant to be there. Put some thought into it. Put a LITTLE BIT of thought into it. Chilli's has a bar... yes, because the adults need to get away from the screaming devil spawn and drink to surpress the dismal knowledge that THEY'RE ADULTS AT THE BAR AT FRIKKIN CHILLI'S. (qualifier: i''ve eaten at Chillis. the food is fine. the service too. i could say the same for every Olive Garden, Montanas, Casey's, East Side Mario's, Sizzler etc etc in the known world. But i stopped going there for dates as soon as 'date' meant more than a 7pm movie and my parents picking me up in the parking lot.)

And if you don't want to impress someone, DON'T GO ON THE FUCKING DATE.


And if the response remains 'but i still just wann get laid', then so be it, my point remains that your chances are better if you follow the same approach.

In general, I think anywhere that has screaming kids running around is not a good place for a date, regardless of whether you have long-term intentions or not. Either way, the torturous wails of little ones is not what I think most people would consider a good ambient noise to set the right mood for a date.

[Morgoth]

Not making the effort to find something nicer than Olive Garden says quite a lot about you to begin with, but I agree entirely with Abyss. The whole she/he shouldn't care about the venue is quite a naive, and to be honest, rather childish view.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

I am not easily impressed but I'm immediately immensely impressed if someone I'm interested in takes me to a place that is anything else than a chain - cos I think chains are so boring and have never understood the fascination of a large part of anglo-world with chain restaurants, cafes and whatever else chain - plus if the guy makes an effort to scout a nice place where the food is nice, that says something about how much time he spent thinking about the place to go to, that he appreciates food and from there you can start extrapolating about all sorts of other things.


Of course the idea of the date is to get to know the person, but if I find the person already boring because he chose to go to the most boring place for food the whole point about where to go becomes suddenly important.

And needless to say, gift cards on the first date is cheap and I'd rather pay for my meal myself.

If I want to impress someone, I take them to a good place, and I don't mean good in terms of expensive and a bottle of wine no less than 50 quid, but a place I have been to, where food is great, service is good and I don't really care so much about the price as long as it is within my financial means. You know, if I don't get laid, at least I enjoyed the food.


I concur with Abyss and Morgoth but just wanted to corroborate their points from a female pov.

[Abyss]

D, on 04 July 2013 - 02:51 PM, said:

....the torturous wails of little ones is not what I think most people would consider a good ambient noise to set the right mood for a date.

Unless of course you're into that sort of thing, but it usually takes at least three dates to figure that out.

Two if your names are Paul and Karla.

[Spoilsport Stonny]

To be clear, im not saying that some, hell even MOST, women wouldn't prefer a nicer place than chilis or olive garden - despite the fact that sceeaming kids are more common at a Red Robin or even Chuckie Cheese, and not so mich these places. No, a lot of discerning women would prefer a nice quiet interesting resaturant. But even a chain reataurant can be a good date if your personality is great and you can make people laugh. In fact, i would go so far as to say that if you can impress the lady with your people skills there it would go alot farther (not just in loin-soothing) than if you were a boring pedant at Chez Bougie or something.

But by all means, masking ones lack of social skills with a fine meal at a hip eatery can definitly go a long way towards impressing the other. I have had success with both. And not just sex success, but relationship growth and bonding as well.

Also, to D'rek, i wasnt implying that throwing money at the situation would improve the chance of getting lucky in the sack ONLY. I meant that throwing money at the situaton is a great way to cover for not being that interesting or charming. There are many women out there who find that sort of thing attractive. Men too.

This post has been edited by Spoilsport Stonny: 04 July 2013 - 05:55 PM

[D'rek]

Spoilsport Stonny, on 04 July 2013 - 05:53 PM, said:

To be clear, im not saying that some, hell even MOST, women wouldn't prefer a nicer place than chilis or olive garden - despite the fact that sceeaming kids are more common at a Red Robin or even Chuckie Cheese, and not so mich these places. No, a lot of discerning women would prefer a nice quiet interesting resaturant. But even a chain reataurant can be a good date if your personality is great and you can make people laugh. In fact, i would go so far as to say that if you can impress the lady with your people skills there it would go alot farther (not just in loin-soothing) than if you were a boring pedant at Chez Bougie or something.

But by all means, masking ones lack of social skills with a fine meal at a hip eatery can definitly go a long way towards impressing the other. I have had success with both. And not just sex success, but relationship growth and bonding as well.

I don't think anyone is denying that, but rather they are saying that - in and of itself - choosing a venue with some character, uniqueness or class (or all 3) is a more impressive choice. That isn't to say that other factors can't make up for it, or even make the choice of venue irrelevent, but if you arent certain to pull off those other factors you may as well try and choose a superior venue.

Spoilsport Stonny, on 04 July 2013 - 05:53 PM, said:

Also, to D'rek, i wasnt implying that throwing money at the situation would improve the chance of getting lucky in the sack ONLY. I meant that throwing money at the situaton is a great way to cover for not being that interesting or charming. There are many women out there who find that sort of thing attractive. Men too.

Taking out the extraneous parts of your statement, you said: "That said, if [...] your goal is sex, [...] then throw cash at the situation. It always works". There's no "improve the chance" or "many women" bits in there. You specifically say "if your goal is sex", and then say "it always works". That's not ambiguous. Yes, I'm sure there are many men and women who like that sort of thing, too, but that's a far different viewpoint than the way you originally presented this as applying to all women all the time.

This post has been edited by D'rek: 04 July 2013 - 06:15 PM

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Well yeah if you take my exact words, of course what i meant was that all women are prostitutes. Oh but there is that part where i said "if you are dull and have little personality, and your goal is sex, and you aren't very attractive" then throw money at it. Interpret it how you want, but the fact remains that there are MANY women who respond positively to such stimuli, in lieu of better characteristics present in the gentleman. It could either be straight up cold hard cash or fancy cars or bottle service or a violinist or whatever. Throw enough money at any problem and it will be solved.

[Kanubis]

Uh, this gift card thing. I have no idea how your crazy foreign restaurants work but is there no opportunity to receive the bill and then pay at the till, where the method of payment wouldn't be visible to the other person?

I know that wouldn't be the done thing while fine dining, but I'm getting the impression we're talking more 'tacky chain diner' than 'Michelin four-star' here...

This post has been edited by Kanubis: 05 July 2013 - 10:17 AM

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

money don't buy style.

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Miss Savagely Wishy Washy, on 05 July 2013 - 08:34 AM, said:

money don't buy style.

Oh yes indeed it does.