Malazan Empire: The Hobbit Movie - Malazan Empire

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The Hobbit Movie Spoilers for the film and anything to do with LotR and the hobbit

#381 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 18 December 2013 - 07:27 PM

View PostMacros, on 18 December 2013 - 06:31 PM, said:

Silencer wins the thread.

but spiders, city wall, soldiers, job done.


Dragon, soft spot, arrow, job done.

Your point?
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

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#382 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 18 December 2013 - 07:34 PM

Armies insufficient, invisible spy locates one and only weak spot, gets shot after torching city.
hairy midget cripples.

get back in the box that silencer provided for you
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#383 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 18 December 2013 - 07:45 PM

View PostMacros, on 18 December 2013 - 07:34 PM, said:

Armies insufficient, invisible spy locates one and only weak spot, gets shot after torching city.
hairy midget cripples.

get back in the box that silencer provided for you


Hey, YOU'RE the one who felt the need to get a final "dig" in after we'd let it all go. I'm just following suit. You wanna keep playing?
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

“Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone.” ~Ursula Vernon
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#384 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 19 December 2013 - 02:06 AM

*sprays Raid at the spider until it dies*
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#385 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 19 December 2013 - 12:03 PM

*Sprays....*

Wait, dragons are fictional.

Snap.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

“Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone.” ~Ursula Vernon
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#386 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 19 December 2013 - 12:35 PM

Your mom is fictional.
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#387 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 19 December 2013 - 01:41 PM

Oh Snap!
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#388 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 19 December 2013 - 02:00 PM

View PostNot Brent Weeks, on 19 December 2013 - 12:35 PM, said:

Your mom is fictional.


WHO TOLD YOU...!!

wait...
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

“Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone.” ~Ursula Vernon
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#389 User is offline   tiam 

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Posted 20 December 2013 - 12:04 AM

Saw it yesterday. I think alot of the criticism that is levelled at the Star Wars prequels can be levelled at this. This is a LOTR prequel trilogy rather than a Hobbit adaptation. The CGI fight scenes annoyed me particularly in this one. The elvish combat, bar the Legolas fight in Lake town, was so overly cartoonish that it was distracting. As someone said upthread the Goblin Town set piece was just CGI with no threat to the characters. The barrel escape from the elves and subsequent fight scene was awful. Like the Star Wars prequels theres incredibly overt winks and nods towards the future trilogy.

They leave bits out as well. The first Hobbit film had almost an hour of Bilbo in his house with the dwarves. I didnt mind as I thought theyd atleast cover everything from the hobbit but they missed out the very clever way Gandalf tricks Beorn into letting them all into his house and that section felt rushed so they could get to stuff that never happened in the book.

Might have just been my negative impression of the films so far but I dont think theyre a patch on the LOTR. I rewatched the hobbit the other day and its still a bit meh.
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#390 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 20 December 2013 - 01:30 AM

The barrel scene is exactly what I was looking for in this movie: silly fun. So it doesn't really obey the laws of physics; I laughed and enjoyed it.
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#391 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 20 December 2013 - 04:15 PM

OK so I saw it last night, and I will say this:

The movie was rollicking good fun. Erebor and the treasure and Smaug were all well done. The barrel scene was better than I expected, and even the CGI elf fights weren't terrible, despite them being a little ridiculous. Tauriel was a great addition and I liked the love triangle addition to the plot. The spiders scenes were excellently done. I had an acid flashback when the Witch King confronted Gandalf.

One of the things that I remember from the book was how the Dwarves would constantly give up, despite the fact that Bilbo would come through again and again. The movie captured that aspect of the Dwarves perfectly.

Two things:

1. Martin Freeman is PERFECT as Bilbo. I can't imagine a better casting decision.

2. Thranduil was terrible. Every bit of him on screen took me out the movie. Every. Damn Time. I understand hamming it up and playing the character the way he did, but it was TOO MUCH. I laughed every time I saw him.I didn't want to, but my god, was that a silly performance.

Altogether, it was a good moviegoing experience, although the High Frame Rate was very distracting at times, except when the action scenes were going full-tilt. Just not something I think I will ever get used to. The soap-opera effect isn't a good thing when I'm familiar with the softer feel and lower resolution of lower film-speed when getting into a movie. But other than that, this was great popcorn fare and pleased the Hobbit fan, while adding a bit more.
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
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#392 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 20 December 2013 - 04:20 PM

View PostSpoilsport Stonny, on 20 December 2013 - 04:15 PM, said:

I had an acid flashback when the Witch King confronted Gandalf.


That was Sauron actually.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

“Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone.” ~Ursula Vernon
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#393 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 20 December 2013 - 04:48 PM

View PostQuickTidal, on 20 December 2013 - 04:20 PM, said:

View PostSpoilsport Stonny, on 20 December 2013 - 04:15 PM, said:

I had an acid flashback when the Witch King confronted Gandalf.


That was Sauron actually.


Good lookin out. Like I said, brainmeltz. It was also way past my bedtime.
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
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#394 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 20 December 2013 - 07:37 PM

I confused the Witch King and the Necromancer up too, so don't worry about it. It gets really bad cuz they both look like my mailman, so there's like three dudes I can't tell apart, and when I see one at the grocery story I'm just like "Heeeeeeey...Guy" and "Yah you have a nice day....Chief".
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#395 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 21 December 2013 - 12:47 AM

Its's like "ooooo I hope he has my new copy of Juggs!" And then it's like "nope, its a flaming eyeball." So much disappoint.
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
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#396 User is offline   McLovin 

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Posted 22 December 2013 - 08:30 PM

View PostNoOneExpectsThetiamishInquisition, on 20 December 2013 - 12:04 AM, said:

This is a LOTR prequel trilogy rather than a Hobbit adaptation.


Funny, because this is the inverse of criticism that Tolkien himself faced when LOTR came out.

Having seen AUJ finally, and doing some soul-searching, I think I've made my peace with the movies. Because Tolkien himself retconned the Hobbit into LOTR with the famous Appendices, I can accept Peter Jackson making the Hobbit into a LOTR prequel, instead of strictly following the book. It's questionable whether the product is exactly what JRRT might have wanted, but I think it does follow the spirit.
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#397 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 22 December 2013 - 08:40 PM

As long as it makes Christopher Tolkien angry, I think we can get some satisfaction from anything PJ does.
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#398 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 22 December 2013 - 08:45 PM

Why the hostility? He's no Brian Herbert... or is he?!
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#399 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 22 December 2013 - 09:12 PM

I dunno, he's probably all right, I just got sick of his curmudgeonly whining about the movies.
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#400 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 22 December 2013 - 09:16 PM

View Postworry, on 22 December 2013 - 09:12 PM, said:

I dunno, he's probably all right, I just got sick of his curmudgeonly whining about the movies.


Indeed, especially considering he made his name off releasing a book his father wasn't done with and wouldn't have wanted released (SILMARILLION)...he really can't stand on his soap box...
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

“Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone.” ~Ursula Vernon
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