Malazan Empire: Twilight: Wet dreams becoming reality... - Malazan Empire

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Twilight: Wet dreams becoming reality... ...and not in a good way.

#1201 User is offline   alt146 

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Posted 04 July 2010 - 04:27 PM

View PostSombra, on 04 July 2010 - 04:07 PM, said:


View Postalt146, on 04 July 2010 - 03:40 PM, said:

You know what the only good thing about this series is. The fact that every other really terrible book now uses exactly the same edgy 'black with a splash of red and some mundane object' cover. Meaning there are now rows upon rows of indistinguishable books that can be easily avoided.


Yes, but those rows - they growz! At the expense of the good stuff, I have sadly noted recently at my local book stores. :p


I know, Twilight clones take up almost half the fantasy section at the crappy local bookstore :( And a sizeable amount of space at the decent bookstores too. Although one kind clerk at my favourite bookstore has gone and put them all in 'Teen' section, leaving the fantasy shelves mercifully unaffected.
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#1202 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 09 July 2010 - 05:44 AM


It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#1203 User is offline   Darkwatch 

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Posted 09 July 2010 - 04:05 PM

View PostSombra, on 04 July 2010 - 04:07 PM, said:

View PostHellian, on 04 July 2010 - 03:16 PM, said:

I know this was asking for a slap in the face anyway, but I just glanced at my Facebook updates. ALL, and I mean ALL, the women on it, are gushing either about how they're going to see it, or how they lurve Jacob.I need some new friends. Guys, any of you prepared to put on a wig and do my nails? Aggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


You do realise our idea of doing your nails is probably somewhere along the lines of cutting them as short as possible (with hopefully a minimum of blood) or just biting them?


He's right, they'll be nice, short and practical.

Quote

View Postalt146, on 04 July 2010 - 03:40 PM, said:

You know what the only good thing about this series is. The fact that every other really terrible book now uses exactly the same edgy 'black with a splash of red and some mundane object' cover. Meaning there are now rows upon rows of indistinguishable books that can be easily avoided.


Yes, but those rows - they growz! At the expense of the good stuff, I have sadly noted recently at my local book stores. :)


I've noticed this as well.

Quote

Although one kind clerk at my favourite bookstore has gone and put them all in 'Teen' section, leaving the fantasy shelves mercifully unaffected.


The problem is not all of it is teen fiction meaning that quite a lot of it finds itself in the fantasy and SF sections (yes they stuffed Meyer's "The Host" in the sci-fi section and they stock basically nothing by Reynolds, I was insulted).
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#1204 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 09:27 AM

You have got to be fucking kidding??!!??!! B) :) :p :huh: :no

-------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.news.com....i-1225891189889

Billionaire shares the business lessons he learnt from Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series

* By staff reporters
* From: news.com.au
* July 13, 2010 12:58PM

A movie poster for film adaptation of Twilight. The Twilight series of novels has inspired a real estate mogul to urge his staff to be more creative. Source: PerthNow

A BILLIONAIRE real-estate mogul has written in loving detail about the business lessons he drew after reading Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series of vampire novels.

Tom Barrack, a self-made real estate kingpin worth more than $1.26 billion according to Forbes, wrote that the love story between Bella and the vampire Edward inspired him to realise how imagination and creativity were critical to business success.

In his 1700-word letter to his employees, Mr Barrack says "Stephenie Meyer is a total genius", that he was "captivated" by the series and that he found Edward to be a compelling character.

"As I flipped through the pages, I was startled by the lack of detailed description of Bella and the surgical and illuminating development of Edward," he wrote.

"As hard as I tried I could not really picture Bella, but I was grabbed by Edward’s character - gorgeous, super human, super strong, super fast and most importantly encompassing the wisdom of a 109-year-old man in the guise of a 17-year-old boy.

He added: "What I realised is the genius of Stephenie was that she knew that by keeping the (Bella) character generic, any and every woman could climb inside and picture herself in Bella’s shoes. Thus the fascination and deep emotional reactions to what many (including myself) thought was a foolish teenage trashy novel."

Slow down, be creative

Mr Barrack is the founder, chairman and CEO of Colony Capital, a firm that has about US$30 billion invested around the globe.

He is known for writing long memos about his global economic insights as well as folksy advice about relationships that are published on the "chairman's corner" of the Colony Capital website.

The note about Twilight, urged staff to use a public holiday as a chance to "slow down, take a breath, rediscover your imagination and create some excitement in your life". It was briefly posted on the Colony Capital website before being removed, The Wall Street Journal reports.

In the note, Mr Barrack said he had been contemptuous of the novels and never considered reading them until he found himself stuck on a yacht in Turkey with nothing but the sunset and a copy of Ms Meyer's novel for company.

"Alone, on a boat, with no wifi, no satellite, no magazines, no newspapers, just me and this book," he wrote.

"This piece of chick lit, teeny bopper heartthrob stuff. Terror on the high seas! I wanted nothing to do with any of it. Not relevant, not interesting."

It's about the journey, not the destination

Despite his hesitation, Mr Barrack not only read Twilight but he quickly read the second and third novel in the series - New Moon and Eclipse.

And the 62-year-old was impressed.

Mr Barrack said that the slowness of the journey was the great appeal of the series and that it challenged his point of view.

He used this as a jumping off point to ask his staff to be more creative in their lives.

"In every day business, we think we know it all. We are the captains of our industry and we possess all the global knowledge. That which we don’t understand we push a button and it appears before us. We are lacking creativity ... it is hard for us to dream ... harder for us to change our lives ... hard to live in a situation that other people view as unconventional. And for sure, we all have no idea on how to be satisfied with the status quo.

"It is time for all of us to become more creative, spend more time outside of the strict arithmetic cadence of our business, and understand foreign points of view. Most importantly we must really find the 'moment'. Anticipation is everything. The process of getting to a destination is the objective and the more illumination, color, and vitality we give to the 'road' the less important the final destination becomes. It will be what it will be!!!

"On this 4th of July, slow down, take a breath, rediscover your imagination and create some excitement in your life. Take a few days to expand on the qualities of the character you would really like to become. Then live it, do it, become it! The better you are as an individual, the better we will be as a team."

--------------------------------------

OK, the be creative bit, and the respect for her shrewd marketing to chicks I can dig. But as far as the rest goes, it may partially explain the Global Financial Crisis ... :blink: :nono:

This post has been edited by Sombra: 13 July 2010 - 09:27 AM

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#1205 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 09:29 AM

Someone call... erm... who you gonna call? :)
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#1206 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 10:07 AM

View PostGothos, on 13 July 2010 - 09:29 AM, said:

Someone call... erm... who you gonna call? :p


'Tardbusters? :)
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#1207 User is offline   champ 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 10:15 AM

i honestly just dont get it... is it people who have never, ever read a book before, reading this piece of tripe and since having nothing to compare it to think its the best thing since sliced bread... or are they all just simply deluded!

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#1208 User is offline   dktorode 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 11:08 AM

Smoked a fat one and watched New Moon this weekend....it was hilarious to say the least.
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#1209 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 11:17 AM

I heard that the latest craze amongst Twitards is to bite each other. No joke.

http://www.twilightq...ds-gone-too-far
Suck it Errant!


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#1210 User is offline   MTS 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 11:21 AM

I'm trying to figure out how this guy ended up on a yacht with nothing but a Twilight novel when he never intended on reading the thing in the first place. Especially considering the amount of stuff he must have, or have the dosh to buy. This guy is a billionaire tycoon, and I spent an hour fiddling around on an iPhone yesterday. Mustn't have much imagination...

This post has been edited by MTS: 13 July 2010 - 11:24 AM

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#1211 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 12:19 PM

Took longer than I thought it would for someone to make this:

http://player.video....ews/#1542884181
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#1212 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 12:35 PM

I hope they make it really sharp

This post has been edited by Gothos: 13 July 2010 - 12:35 PM

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#1213 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 02:02 PM

Quote

I heard that the latest craze amongst Twitards is to bite each other. No joke.


Maybe it's for the best, they might end up killing one another. On the downside if that happens it's a good bet that fantasy will again be seen as Satan's work and get all the blame (and not the fact that those kids were fucking retarded and their parents failed utterly when raising them).
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#1214 User is offline   rhulad 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 03:34 PM

If all the twitards died, the average iq would probably be significantly higher.
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#1215 User is offline   Juss 

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Posted 14 July 2010 - 09:47 AM

Is it about time to make some sort of proud to read fantasy, anti lame vampire T-shirt thingy happen?

If so, I want one.

This post has been edited by Juss: 14 July 2010 - 09:48 AM

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#1216 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

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Posted 14 July 2010 - 10:36 AM

View PostGarak, on 13 July 2010 - 02:02 PM, said:

Quote

I heard that the latest craze amongst Twitards is to bite each other. No joke.


Maybe it's for the best, they might end up killing one another. On the downside if that happens it's a good bet that fantasy will again be seen as Satan's work and get all the blame (and not the fact that those kids were fucking retarded and their parents failed utterly when raising them).


Maybe we should just hope that they get gum disease instead.


View Postrhulad, on 13 July 2010 - 03:34 PM, said:

If all the twitards died, the average iq would probably be significantly higher.


I bet we'd all feel it too. A sudden lifting of pressure, and people would look dazed, and ask, "Is the nightmare over?"
Suck it Errant!


"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.


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#1217 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 14 July 2010 - 10:38 AM

As if millions of people cried out in joy.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#1218 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

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Posted 14 July 2010 - 10:44 AM

View PostGothos, on 14 July 2010 - 10:38 AM, said:

As if millions of people cried out in joy.


And then fanfare...
Suck it Errant!


"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.


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#1219 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 14 July 2010 - 12:47 PM

Just close your eyes and listen to this masterpiece. It conjures images of the world rising up and punishing the twitards like they deserve - by lightning the night by burning them at the stake.
The meaning of life is BOOM!!!
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#1220 User is offline   Hellian's Keg Lid 

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Posted 14 July 2010 - 08:51 PM

Bwa-ha-ha.

Ah, Verdi. As an aside, has anyone seen that atrocious Volvo advert using Twilight as its poster-ness? Frighteners.
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