[LadyMTL]

If you think New Moon was bad, wait until the last one comes out (Breaking Dawn, I think?). My mum actually read the whole series and she told me what happened---I assume to spare me the horror---and believe me, it is so stupid that I'd practically need to invent a new word to explain how stupid/ridiculous/illogical/dumb/etc it is. And what gets me the most is that a lot of Twi-hards think that this is actually good literature! I mean...wtf?

Hell, this is better literature:

[Mushroom]

Oh the Humanity!

How I weep for thee....

There is now a "My life is Twilight Site" kinda like FML

I haven't gone through much of the site but here are a couple;

Quote

Today, I realized something. I am warmer than everyone else in my school, I heat up the entire house, I have a very short temper and I have tanned skin and dark hair. I am a werewolf. MLIT.

Today I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 with my friend on Xbox 360 and he asked me if I saw New Moon with my gf. I told him "No way, I don't watch that crap", even though I really saw it three times over the weekend. I then pretended all the zombies in L4D were instead vampires. GO TEAM JACOB!

I was so upset about this 4chan stuff that I ran to my collection of twilight memorabilia and grabbed one of my books. I went to my bed to lay down and read it and it was the Breaking Dawn book and it opened right up to where Bella awakens as a vampire. It was a sign to persevere!

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Mushroom, on 01 December 2009 - 11:47 PM, said:

Oh the Humanity!

How I weep for thee....

There is now a "My life is Twilight Site" kinda like FML

I haven't gone through much of the site but here are a couple;

Quote

Today, I realized something. I am warmer than everyone else in my school, I heat up the entire house, I have a very short temper and I have tanned skin and dark hair. I am a werewolf. MLIT.

Today I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 with my friend on Xbox 360 and he asked me if I saw New Moon with my gf. I told him "No way, I don't watch that crap", even though I really saw it three times over the weekend. I then pretended all the zombies in L4D were instead vampires. GO TEAM JACOB!

I was so upset about this 4chan stuff that I ran to my collection of twilight memorabilia and grabbed one of my books. I went to my bed to lay down and read it and it was the Breaking Dawn book and it opened right up to where Bella awakens as a vampire. It was a sign to persevere!

..............................

THEY'RE RELENTLESS!

[beru]

BUT WE FEAR NOTHING BEACUSE THEY ARE GAY INCARNATE!!!!

[Puck]

Tell me it's a joke.. Please..?

[Gothos]

probably half or more of that shit is anons making up stuff to besmirch twitards... it's still hillarious tho.

[Tsundoku]

... I find the concept of people making stuff up to besmirch twitards to be quite hilarious. And redundant.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Well, godspeed to them anyway.

[King Lear]

I read this thread from start to finish with boundless amusement. More please! *Holds up empty bowl*

I have to admit I read Twilight under duress, and have absolutely no intention of reading any more of the series.
However, I do actually like the films in a weird way. The Twilight filmwas watched, like the book, due to forces beyond my control, but it wasa better film than book. And watching New Moon was awesome. This wasdecided before the film when one of my friends pointed out that thelone male of our group was in a minority in the room, and thus, shoulda nuclear shitstorm hit and the cinema be miraculously protected fromit, it would be his duty to help repopulate the world with his seed.And the audience was amazing. They cracked up in all the wrong places.

In spite of actually getting some measure of entertainment from the thing, I do actually have intense dislike for Twilight. It is most definitely spitworthy. It's basically a mangled version of Pride and Prejudice crossed with Mills and Boon with added sparkly vampire. Gross. Anyone who reads Pride and Prejudice (and for that matter Romeo and Juliet -I think she based all her books on classics?) with such utter shallowness and lack of insight into the text should be necklaced, not published!

[Lisheo]

We should take the entire "plot-line" for want if a better term, and rewrite the book without the "vapirism and werewolves" crap. Put it down to schizophrenia or something instead. Then, we publish this.
If a lawsuit approaches Meyer admits that her book is about a creepy unbalanced stalker obsessed with a young girl, to the world.

[Satan]

Mezla PigDog, on 29 November 2009 - 10:23 PM, said:

(not to mention all the boys don't look like werewolf boy under their t-shirts).

Boys, no. Men, yes! GROOOAAAAOOOOOWWWL!

Macros, on 01 December 2009 - 08:21 PM, said:

24 pages of sparkly is too much to read.
i asume this has already been posted

1259695621810.jpg

Nosferatu plays for Liverpool nowadays, don't'cha know?

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Lisheo, on 03 December 2009 - 11:00 AM, said:

We should take the entire "plot-line" for want if a better term, and rewrite the book without the "vapirism and werewolves" crap. Put it down to schizophrenia or something instead. Then, we publish this.
If a lawsuit approaches Meyer admits that her book is about a creepy unbalanced stalker obsessed with a young girl, to the world.

That would only leave pedophilia...full steam ahead!

[HoosierDaddy]

These books are surely a Mormon attempt to take over the world?

I'm being plagued by a Mormon lady, lately. Super nice and all, but I seriously don't want the magazines. It's hard being rude to nice people. If only she was a pushy bitch about it.

Anywho:

Quote

Today, I was TAing a physics class and while I was passing back tests the other TA set my laptop background to a close-up of Taylor Lautner's abs. The professor noticed and said "that's the best part!" MLIT

In what subjects is accreditation given at your school? Psychosis? Pedophilia?

Quote

My cousin got me a box of the New Moon Sweethearts, I will not open them. I don't want to damage my Edward box. MLIT!

Ah, and no guy is ever going to want to fiddle with your box either.

And, ...BREAKING NEWS TODAY, DOUBLE MURDER IN SLEEPY TOWN!

Quote

My best friend decided that for Christmas, she's going to give me Edward Cullen. How? She's going to put body glitter on my boyfriend and dress him up like Edward. I think it's the best gift I will ever get in my life.

Today, when I went to work, my boss called me in her office. She then proceeded to close the door and ask why I had glitter all over my face. Turns out my wife was nicer to me this morning because I "look more like Edward." She and my daughter did this while I slept. They both love Twilight. MLIT.

This post has been edited by HoosierDaddy: 04 December 2009 - 08:38 AM

[Lisheo]

That was scary. Actually scary. I hope to God im just going mad, and twilight only exists in my mind as some sick perversion of literature.

[Cougar]

Are we using the South Park definition of Fag in this and other threads?

I'm kind of heading this off at the pass a bit since it's a while since anyone complained about it but please a bit of self moderation. I think these days that Gay may be seen as not directly meaning 'homosexual' so just an appeal to you guys to watch it we don't want to stray into queer-bashing territory when we have a perfectly healthy and wholesome thread about the abomination that is Twilight and all its pathetic fans.

[Gothos]

There does seem to be a growing split between the current usage of words such as "fag" or "gay" and their use in past decades - they seemto refer to homosexuals less getting closer to "lame" as time passes on. Culture of teh internets I guess.

[Satan]

Cougar, on 04 December 2009 - 11:52 AM, said:

Are we using the South Park definition of Fag in this and other threads?

I'm kind of heading this off at the pass a bit since it's a while since anyone complained about it but please a bit of self moderation. I think these days that Gay may be seen as not directly meaning 'homosexual' so just an appeal to you guys to watch it we don't want to stray into queer-bashing territory when we have a perfectly healthy and wholesome thread about the abomination that is Twilight and all its pathetic fans.

I like you, Cougar. Moderate hate with hate. That's my kind of moderation.

[Darkwatch]

HoosierDaddy, on 04 December 2009 - 07:26 AM, said:

And, ...BREAKING NEWS TODAY, DOUBLE MURDER IN SLEEPY TOWN!

Quote

My best friend decided that for Christmas, she's going to give me Edward Cullen. How? She's going to put body glitter on my boyfriend and dress him up like Edward. I think it's the best gift I will ever get in my life.

Today, when I went to work, my boss called me in her office. She then proceeded to close the door and ask why I had glitter all over my face. Turns out my wife was nicer to me this morning because I "look more like Edward." She and my daughter did this while I slept. They both love Twilight. MLIT.

And here I thought that last one was Clitter.

Though I'm guessing that's one of the fake ones, if my gf ever did that I'd have immense fun replacing all her bras with the push-up version. If and when she complains I'll just say "You put sparkles on me while I slept so that I'd look like some 108 year old pedophile. You have no right nor grounds to complain."

[D'rek]

Edward vs Buffy mash-up video thingy: here.

[Darkwatch]

Just read this on Cracked, thought to share:

Quote

He also abstains from consuming human blood, instead choosing to drink that of animals. This has led to the Cullen family joke that they are "vegetarians". A search for anyone who finds this funny is ongoing.

Source: You really want to read this if you need your dose of laughs.


Also these two videos:
Part One
Part Two

This post has been edited by Darkwatch: 04 December 2009 - 04:18 PM