Malazan Empire: Ye Big Movie thread - Malazan Empire

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Ye Big Movie thread

#11721 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 19 December 2019 - 07:26 PM

Oh my. With the 'woke', 'cancel culture' that dominates discourse these days, I figured this was from a bygone era that was looked back upon with much disdain and aching outrage, wanting to find fault with what has come before. Also, aren't these guys way to old to be doing this anymore? I'm pretty sure most of them are in the grips of severe arthritis (much of it due to this type entertainment they provide).

'Jackass' Returning As Paramount Sets Release Date For New Johnny Knoxville Film

I guess clear your calendars for the 5th of March, 2021 ? Į\_(ツ)_/Į
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#11722 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 19 December 2019 - 08:00 PM

Unless they rebooted Jackass, with younger, dumber kids, I don't see the point.
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#11723 User is online   Briar King 

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Posted 19 December 2019 - 09:18 PM

Hey Iím gonna see a new SW movie today.
Drive by bye bye king on my dumb horse
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#11724 User is online   Briar King 

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Posted 19 December 2019 - 09:18 PM

In like.
Drive by bye bye king on my dumb horse
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#11725 User is online   Briar King 

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Posted 19 December 2019 - 09:19 PM

7 hours
Drive by bye bye king on my dumb horse
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#11726 User is online   Briar King 

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Posted 19 December 2019 - 09:34 PM

Oh yeah. I forgot. In 3D
Drive by bye bye king on my dumb horse
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#11727 User is online   Briar King 

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Posted 20 December 2019 - 12:00 AM

Making up my excitement today as I didnít fully have it any longer after trailer 2.

Iím going to see a Star Wars movie TODAY! How bout that!
Drive by bye bye king on my dumb horse
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#11728 User is online   Briar King 

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Posted 20 December 2019 - 03:40 AM

Iím at the movies

To watch a Star Wars movie!

In 40 minutes time.
Drive by bye bye king on my dumb horse
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#11729 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 22 December 2019 - 11:25 PM

I just watched Pacific Rim for about the 7th time. I love that film.
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
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#11730 User is offline   Traveller 

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Posted 23 December 2019 - 12:02 AM

View PostMezla PigDog, on 22 December 2019 - 11:25 PM, said:

I just watched Pacific Rim for about the 7th time. I love that film.


Me too, I was wrapping presents, it was on, and I watched it.

Again.

Like I always end up doing when I catch it on tv.
So that's the story. And what was the real lesson? Don't leave things in the fridge.
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#11731 User is offline   polishgenius 

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Posted 23 December 2019 - 12:04 AM

Today we are CANCELLING the Apocalypse!
I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you.
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#11732 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 30 December 2019 - 06:36 AM

Had my first viewing of Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

Well, it was a thing. A Star Wars thing. A lot of fan-service for sure. Seemed to be derivative of a combination of Empire and Jedi, but, I mean, that's nothing new with this last trilogy I think. I enjoyed it for the most part though, for what I was expecting. Lets just say the bar was not set high. Probably about 45min longer then needed to be however. There were some stupid things, like space floating back to the ship. And, I liked the Finn buddy team up, but the caper with locating the codebreaker seemed to fizzle and added too much time to an already long movie, although I enjoyed the riff on gambling epicenter, wealthy gaudiness on display - Monte Carlo. Adam Driver acts intensely. Sometimes it is on the level of brilliant and other times I feel somewhat uncomfortable at how awkward or out of place the intensity can be, maybe he's trying to convey the unhinged nature of Kylo Ren? dunno. Snoke wasn't to be messed with.Might be my favorite villian in the Star Wars movies (*hides* don't hate me Vader fans!) Much fan-service with kissing glowing dildo fights. The Kylo/Rey team up was worth a few rewinds to watch again. And did you catch the precursor Araya Stark move that Rey executed? I wonder if GoT took inspiration form this fight sequence? I give these movies credit with rolling out the cute, and doing adorable so well. This time around we got the Porgs. Gotta make them cash registers sing kaching! when bdays and xmas comes around with them toy tie-ins.

And finally, here's some unknown trivia most of you are probably not aware of - would you guys be chagrined to know that wasn't green alien milk Luke was drinking on his retirement island? That was a male, with a sneaky way to disguise how he receives sexual release.Posted Image

Posted Image
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#11733 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 30 December 2019 - 02:55 PM

View PostTraveller, on 23 December 2019 - 12:02 AM, said:

View PostMezla PigDog, on 22 December 2019 - 11:25 PM, said:

I just watched Pacific Rim for about the 7th time. I love that film.


Me too, I was wrapping presents, it was on, and I watched it.

Again.

Like I always end up doing when I catch it on tv.



View Postpolishgenius, on 23 December 2019 - 12:04 AM, said:

Today we are CANCELLING the Apocalypse!


Yet i still cannot watch the sequel all the way thru.



THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
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#11734 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 30 December 2019 - 03:01 PM

Sequel was better than the first film. Stupid Kaiju films. How does punching a monster work better than firing a missile at it. Do the writers not understand physics???
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#11735 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 30 December 2019 - 03:26 PM

View PostAbyss, on 30 December 2019 - 02:55 PM, said:

View PostTraveller, on 23 December 2019 - 12:02 AM, said:

View PostMezla PigDog, on 22 December 2019 - 11:25 PM, said:

I just watched Pacific Rim for about the 7th time. I love that film.


Me too, I was wrapping presents, it was on, and I watched it.

Again.

Like I always end up doing when I catch it on tv.



View Postpolishgenius, on 23 December 2019 - 12:04 AM, said:

Today we are CANCELLING the Apocalypse!


Yet i still cannot watch the sequel all the way thru.






View PostAptorian, on 30 December 2019 - 03:01 PM, said:

Sequel was better than the first film. ...


Really you think?

Does it get wildly better after the first half hour?
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
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#11736 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 31 December 2019 - 09:21 PM

Finally watched John Wick 3. It was silly, very violent, had not much in the way of plot or breathing space and seemed to be just a series of excuses to fight in more and more bizarre ways and settings.

Not to say I didn't enjoy it of course. But it struck me that you've got an entire, all powerful organisation of international assassins after him and everyone always seems to know where he is and no one thought to use a sniper rifle?

Also it seems that there is an infinite number of assassins. Like, how many assassinations across the world can actually happen? There must be like one assassin for every couple of people in the world.

This post has been edited by Tiste Simeon: 31 December 2019 - 09:27 PM

A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#11737 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 02 January 2020 - 07:41 PM

Saw Greta Gerwigs take on LITTLE WOMEN and I was appalled at how poor it was. I mean, I knew it would never match up to Gillian Armstrong’s 1994 version, which I feel is largely perfection...but I did not expect to hate it. But I hated it.

Literally the ONLY thing that is good in it is Timothy Chalamet. And he is wonderful...but in a movie where he’s supposed to be a supporting player, the women of the title just mostly do poor impressions roles they inhabit. Saiorse Ronan tries her best, but there have been much better Jo’s in film. MUCH better.

The most offensive thing this one does is to cut up the story and paste it Willy nilly. It starts at the end (or near it) and then spends the intervening 2+hours hopping back and forth between the story set when they were younger and the one that is 7 years later. The narrative suffers horribly from this action, any and all affection for the drama of the March sisters lives is eaten by this scripts penchant for jumping around. I don’t have time to sit with the girls as they grow and struggle in their world...because Gerwig has decided that’s less important than her avant- grade take of shifting scenes to where she thinks she might hammer them in a new way...but it doesn’t work. This also causes a bunch of scenes to happen at real.y weird places and for a few MAJOR moments to fucking overlap, robbing them of any gravitas. Like when Beth is given Mr Lawrence’s daughters piano, it’s done during the scene where you learn she’s been made sick by the Hummel’s child. It’s ludicrous to do this as it steals any emotion of the giving of the thing (which is SUPPOSED TO be given to her AFTER she gets sick when Lawrence feels terrible for her),and instead makes you focus on her being ill. She do3s this at least 4-5 times...and a bunch of script lines are delivered really poorly. Like when Amy says Aunt March is going to Europe and it’s meant to be a conversation with Jo directLy...but here Amy tells Marmie and the dad, and Jo leaps in out of nowhere to deliver her lines thinking it’s her...the whole POINT of that conversation is Amy feeling terrible about being chosen to go...while simultaneously wanting to go and fulfill her dreams. Here it reads like Amy is gloating and Jo is full of herself.

Let’s talk about Amy. In the 1994 version, she was played as an 11year old by Kirsten Dunst (how old she was at the time) and as a 19-20year old by Samantha Mathis. This is done because Amy, as the youngest, traverses the end of her grade school youth, and into womanhood in the 7 year time span.

Here she is played by Florence Pugh (who is 23)....THROUGHOUT. they put her in pigtails and give her bangs...but she’s still 100% a 23 year old playing an 11-12 year old. What’s worse, they have her deliver a petulant, self-involved 11year olds lines...and it makes her seem as if she’s got a developmental delay, or some other disability....because she not remotely a kid. So here we have Florence Pugh doing this weird impression of a kid, if they were a stunted 23year old...who then later transitions to a normal adult played by the same woman. To say it’s distracting would be an understatement. The scene where she gets pissy for not getting invited to the ball because she’s too little is full on cringe.

The score, one of the best things about the 1994 version (Thomas Newman is a godlike composer) which was evocative and thrilling...the one here by the singularly boring Alaxandre Desplat is not only uneventful and dull, it’s barely there.

The cinematography is...sometimes excellent, and other times dismal. None of the whimsy of the previous incarnations is present. Orchard House is mean to be evocative of the most hand built and custom home due to the Marches lack of funds, and ingenuity....here it’s a box. In a field. By a forest. Dull dull dull.

The direction is scattershot, and tha goes hand in hand with the script Choices that Gerwig made.

Chalamet, on the other hand is a goddamned revelation. It would be hard to top Christian Bale’s Laurie performance, but Chalamet utterly NAILS IT. Every bit the Theodore Lawrence of the book. Which means that as much as I was already looking FWD to DUNE...I am looking fwd to it even more now.

Anyways. Hated it.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 02 January 2020 - 07:44 PM

"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
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#11738 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 02 January 2020 - 10:37 PM

Rewatching LOTR. Cos it's amazing. Sam is still the real hero.
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#11739 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 02 January 2020 - 11:15 PM

Samwise Gamgee = one of the greatest heroes of fiction ever in fact. :)
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
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#11740 User is offline   polishgenius 

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Posted 02 January 2020 - 11:32 PM

*points to avatar and sig*
I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you.
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