[Dammon]

Snowman Patent

With all the patent lawsuit wars happening these days between pretty much every big-name tech company, including Microsoft, Apple, Samsung, HTC, (and the list goes on), you’d think the last thing we’d want to hear about today is another patent. However, this one happened to catch our eye. And, believe it or not, we’re talking about “eyes made out of coal.” Yes, Frosty the Snowman, or more correctly, snowmen and snowwomen as a whole, have been patented.

If you look at the 8,011,991th United States Patent, you will see the “Apparatus for Facilitating the Construction of a Snow Man/Woman,” granted to inventor Ignacio Marc Asperas of Melville, NY. The patent was filed on New Year’s Eve, Jan. 31, 2006 but was just granted on Sept. 6, 2011.

As someone who’s had to try to pick through long and boring patents to understand and extract the most important information, reading Asperas’ patent was actually a delight. It’s conversational and a bit humorous. Asperas says in the patent application that he’s surprised no one has thought of patenting the snowman before.

Asperas says that “as an old pro” he knows what a “pain in the back” it is to roll a snow boulder around a yard. As you all know, the more you roll the boulder around the yard, the larger the boulder grows and rolling it becomes exponentially harder. If you want to make a “real big snowman,” like Asperas does, you “end up breaking your back.”

The 25-page patent details methods for creating the spherical shape of the body, as well as some of the trials and tribulations, including uneven boulders that can make the snowman look like it has a “big caboose.” He also warns us that as temperatures rise, the snowman will melt, compact on itself and deform, possibly falling over. “Happy smiles fade into frowns.”

Asperas even goes into detail about a revolutionary way to build a snowman that would use a type of snow sphere that would make each boulder extremely light weight, but still able to hold snow thanks to static electricity that attracts and holds dry snow onto the sphere. His method of building a snowman is quite interesting, and we suggest you read the full patent for yourself (PDF).

And don’t go thinking this is a joke, because Asperas makes it perfectly clear in the beginning of the patent that it’s not. He includes a warning saying that “the following is not a joke patent.” He assures the readers that it’s completely serious.

[King Lear]

Ramsay's dwarf double found dead in badger's den

The dwarf porn-star doppelganger of Gordon Ramsay has reportedly been found dead in a badger's den in Wales.

Percy Foster, 35, who is a dead-ringer for the UK celebrity chef, was found by Ministry of Agriculture staff ahead of a planned badger-eradication programme near Tregaron, west Wales, British tabloid Sunday Sport reported.

According to the paper, Mr Foster was clothed but had been "partially gnawed" by animals.

Adult movie producer Dexter Yamunkeh told Sunday Sport the actor was a "little guy with big problems".

"He was doing well but he was under pressure, 24/7, like everyone in this goddamned business."

This post has been edited by King Lear: 16 September 2011 - 02:50 AM

[worry]

[Beezulbubba]

They see me rollin ... they hatin.


Link

Quote

Meet The Eight Amish Guys Jailed For Refusing To Attach Orange Safety Triangles To Their Buggies


Here are the booking photos of the eight members of an Amish sect who were ordered jailed by a Kentucky judge after they refused to pay fines for failing to affix orange safety triangles to their horse-drawn buggies.

The men, who were booked Monday night into the Graves County jail, refused to pay the fines on grounds that their religion bars them from wearing or displaying bright colors. Jailed for misdemeanor contempt of court, the inmates were provided dark-colored jumpsuits in place of the standard issue orange coveralls.

The defendants were hit with a range of time in the county lockup (between three and 10 days) by District Court Judge Deborah Hawkins Crook.

While members of the Swartzentruber Amish sect will affix reflective tape to the rear of their buggies, they eschew use of the bright safety triangle, which they consider too modern.

[Beezulbubba]

If he was successful, his killstreak would have reached 9 and he could have sent in the helicopter gunner.
- - - - -
Source

Quote

Middle-aged man attacks boy over Call of Duty video game



A MIDDLE-aged man carried out a real-life revenge attack on the teenager who killed his character in an online video game.

Mark Bradford, 46, saw red when the boy gloated after gunning him down while playing Call of Duty: Black Ops.

A court heard how Bradford stormed out of his bedsit and assaulted the 13-year-old who was playing the war game at a friend's home nearby.

The pal's mum had to come to the terrified boy's rescue after Bradford marched into the front room and grabbed the boy's throat with both hands.

The lad, who cannot be identified, said last night: "I was just sat playing. We'd had a bit of a joke and then he stormed in and grabbed me. I didn't know what was going on."

Jobless Bradford and the teenager had been playing the violent game on PlayStations and were talking to each other on microphones over the internet.

Plymouth magistrates heard that the dad-of-three walked away without saying a word after the attack in July. The victim was left with a scratch. His mum, 33, said last night: "It's pathetic that a grown man would attack a defenceless child like this.

"If you can't handle losing to a child then you shouldn't be playing games.

"I know Mark and went straight round when I found out what had happened. I was fuming. But rather than have it out with him I got the police involved."

Bradford, of St Budeaux, Plymouth, admitted assault and was freed on bail to be sentenced on October 24.

He said yesterday: "I'd been playing the whole day and he was baiting me and just would not shut up."

"I just lost it. In a moment of madness I went round to the house. I didn't know what I was going to do."

"It wasn't malice. I just grabbed him. I've seen him since and apologised. The injuries weren't that bad but I do regret it."

This post has been edited by CreepstadMurderhammer: 02 October 2011 - 11:15 PM

[worry]

Somebody stole an entire bridge (50 feet long, 20 wide, steel):

http://gizmodo.com/5...idge-go-missing


How Does an Entire Bridge Go Missing?
Police in North Beaver Township, Pennsylvania are scratching their heads right now. Why? A 50-foot long, 20-foot wide steel bridge just disappeared. How? Apparently, some very bold criminals just up and stole it.

Stealing a bridge, as you'd imagine, is a pretty complicated crime. This isn't some 90s era magic trick people. The local police suspect that the bridge robbers worked at this for over a month. They presumably used a blow torch to cut the corrugated steel and then somehow moved the pieces—steel beams and such— to sell for scrap metal. That couldn't have been easy as each foot was estimated to weigh hundreds of pounds. But why oh why would you even bother stealing a bridge? Because the scrap metal is estimated to be $100,000. Oh.

But even knowing how it happened, I'm still left wondering, how does this happen!? It's a crime that's so far out there that no one really knows what from how and who from why. In fact, police say the bridge went missing some time between September 27th and October 5th. That's a pretty long range for something that big to go missing, right?

And who in the right mind would look at a bridge and go hey, I think I can take that down. How do they transport it? Who are they selling it to? And how come no one noticed earlier? (this has a more reasonable answer, it's deep in the woods and the bridge is an old railroad bridge). Will they re-build the bridge? Were the robbers really there for a month? Are they going to steal another one? Is this going to set off a bridge stealing bonanza? Hey, I'd actually like that. Life would be more exciting if more bridges got stolen. Robbing bridges is the new black.

[Tsundoku]

worrywort, on 29 October 2011 - 11:06 AM, said:

Somebody stole an entire bridge (50 feet long, 20 wide, steel):

http://gizmodo.com/5...idge-go-missing


How Does an Entire Bridge Go Missing?
Police in North Beaver Township, Pennsylvania are scratching their heads right now. Why? A 50-foot long, 20-foot wide steel bridge just disappeared. How? Apparently, some very bold criminals just up and stole it.

Stealing a bridge, as you'd imagine, is a pretty complicated crime. This isn't some 90s era magic trick people. The local police suspect that the bridge robbers worked at this for over a month. They presumably used a blow torch to cut the corrugated steel and then somehow moved the pieces—steel beams and such— to sell for scrap metal. That couldn't have been easy as each foot was estimated to weigh hundreds of pounds. But why oh why would you even bother stealing a bridge? Because the scrap metal is estimated to be $100,000. Oh.

But even knowing how it happened, I'm still left wondering, how does this happen!? It's a crime that's so far out there that no one really knows what from how and who from why. In fact, police say the bridge went missing some time between September 27th and October 5th. That's a pretty long range for something that big to go missing, right?

And who in the right mind would look at a bridge and go hey, I think I can take that down. How do they transport it? Who are they selling it to? And how come no one noticed earlier? (this has a more reasonable answer, it's deep in the woods and the bridge is an old railroad bridge). Will they re-build the bridge? Were the robbers really there for a month? Are they going to steal another one? Is this going to set off a bridge stealing bonanza? Hey, I'd actually like that. Life would be more exciting if more bridges got stolen. Robbing bridges is the new black.

Well done those guys! That's serious prep work and commitment right there!

Can you imagine the street value of the Sydney Harbour Bridge?

[Dammon]

Dog shoots master on hunting trip.

An American man has been shot in the buttocks after his dog stepped on a shotgun during a hunting trip.

Sheriff's Deputy Kevin Potter says the 46-year-old Utah man was duck hunting with a friend in a boat when he climbed out of the vessel to move decoys.

Mr Potter said the man left his 12-gauge shotgun in the boat and the dog stepped on it, causing it to fire.

Advertisement: Story continues below It was not clear whether the safety safety on the gun was on at the time.

Mr Potter said the man was hit from about three metres away with 27 pellets of birdshot.

He said the man was not seriously injured, in part because he was wearing waders.

The man was treated at a nearby hospital.



Read more: http://www.watoday.c...l#ixzz1fGKOiR5u

This post has been edited by Dammon: 01 December 2011 - 06:37 AM

[Ain't_It_Just_]

http://www.news.com....i-1226204258137

"Teen says 'It's your fault I burgled you' in letter to robbery victims"

"I DONT no Why Iam Writing a letter to you!"
Before you raid our comments section with complaints of bad spelling and punctuation, this is how a 16-year-old's "apology" letter began after he robbed a family home.

The UK teen was forced to write to his victims in Leeds, but showed no remorse (or "remores") and wrote them a list of reasons why the whole debacle was their fault, The Sun reports.

Our UK counterparts have described the kid as "shameless", "callous", a "feckless thug" and a "yob". About sums it up.

"To be honest I'm not bothered or Sorry about the fact that I burgled your house. Basicly it Was your fault anyWays. I'm going to run you through the dumb mistakes you made."

Scroll down to read the full letter

The kid then tells the family they should have drawn their curtains, and closed a kitchen window.... the fools (?).

"Your dumb you live in Stainburns a high risk burglary area and your thick enough to leave your downstairs kitchen window open," he wrote.

"I wouldnt do that in a million years. But anyways I don't feel sorry for you and Im not going to show any sympath or remores."

[Tsundoku]

Interesting little Japanese "legend"

---------------------------

http://news.bbc.co.u...ent/5326614.stm

The Japanese Jesus trail

By Duncan Bartlett
BBC News, Japan

A Japanese legend claims that Jesus escaped Jerusalem and made his way to Aomori in Japan where he became a rice farmer. Christians say the story is nonsense. However, a monument there known as the Grave of Christ attracts curious visitors from all over the world.

A festival at the Grave of Christ
The Grave of Christ has become an international tourist attraction
To reach the Grave of Christ or Kristo no Hakka as it is known locally, you need to head deep into the northern countryside of Japan, a place of paddy fields and apple orchards.

Halfway up a remote mountain surrounded by a thicket of bamboo lies a mound of bare earth marked with a large wooden cross.

Most visitors peer at the grave curiously and pose in front of the cross for a photograph before heading off for apple ice cream at the nearby cafe.

But some pilgrims leave coins in front of the grave in thanks for answered prayers.

The cross is a confusing symbol because according to the local legend, Jesus did not die at Calvary.

His place was taken by one of his brothers, who for some reason is now buried by his side in Japan.

The story goes that after escaping Jerusalem, Jesus made his way across Russia and Siberia to Aomori in the far north of Japan where he became a rice farmer, married, had a family and died peacefully at the age of 114.

A villager hinted that I might be able to meet one of Jesus' descendents - a Mr Sajiro Sawaguchi, who is now in his 80s.

His family owns the land on which the grave stands and his house is at the foot of the mountain.

I set off to find him but was told he was too ill to speak to me.

Jesus' descendant?

However, his grandson Junichiro Sawaguchi did agree to talk. Was I about to meet someone with a true touch of the divine?

The tubby middle-aged gentleman in glasses who spoke to me did not seem particularly Messianic.

Correspondent Duncan Bartlett (l) interviews Junichiro Sawaguchi ®
Local legend says Mr Sawaguchi ® is a living descendant of Jesus
"Actually, my family are Buddhists not Christians," said Mr Sawaguchi.

"And I don't claim to be a descendent of Jesus although I know some people have said my grandfather is connected to the legend. However, when I was a young child, my mother drew the sign of a cross upon my forehead as a symbol of good fortune," he told me.

Certainly the cross has brought good fortune to the villagers, who make money from the visitors and the media who seek out the grave.

It has become the region's only internationally recognised tourist attraction.

However the legend of Jesus the rice farmer does not stretch back very far. It only began in the 1930s with the discovery of what were claimed to be ancient Hebrew documents detailing Jesus' life and death in Japan.

Those documents have now mysteriously disappeared and the grave has never been excavated. I asked a village official, Masaoki Sato, if he realised that the grave might cause offence to Christians who believe in Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection.

"We're not saying that the story is true or what is written in the Bible is wrong," he politely explained. "All we are saying is that this is a very interesting old legend. It's up to the people who come here to decide how they interpret it."

Ritual and tradition

Many Japanese find it hard to make sense of Christianity. Schools are banned from teaching any religion and people are generally more interested in ritual and tradition than theology.

However, Christian-style weddings are enormously popular. They are often held in hotels which have special chapels, complete with crosses and stained glass windows.

Foreign students are sometimes hired to play the part of the priest, although the whole event has no official sanction from any church.

Churchy-looking buildings have other entertainment purposes too.

In the city of Nagoya, I went to a theme restaurant where diners could choose either to have dinner in the chapel, seated on pews and surrounded by paintings of Jesus and the saints, or on the floor below, which is decorated like a prison, complete with metal bars around each table.

Only 1% of Japan is officially Christian. However, there are some lively churches, such as the New Life Ministry in Tokyo.

When I arrived on Sunday afternoon it was packed with young worshippers, clapping along to songs of praise and raising their hands in joy.

I met Pastor Shintaro Watanabe, who was dressed in a floral Hawaiian shirt and had an almost permanent smile on his face.

Wasn't he shocked by the legend of Jesus' grave? He laughed and said it was just a silly story which caused him no particular offence.

"I suppose that many Japanese people feel respect for Jesus and the Bible," said the pastor. "The legend ties in with that. Perhaps it shows that people are looking to make a connection with Jesus in some way."

His church is trying to satisfy that spiritual curiosity, just as countless missionaries to Japan have attempted before.

Yet many Christians have discovered that the Japanese view of religion can be rather baffling - as the grave of Christ the rice farmer reveals.

[Tsundoku]

"Fookin' 'Appy Feet?! Ah'll see yeh JIMMEH!"

-------------------------

http://www.news.com....0-1226227540063

Jealous penguins pelt poo at Edinburgh Zoo visitors

By Jennifer Lush
news.com.au
December 21, 2011 3:12PM

Penguins thought to have "monochrome jealousy" of pandas
Zoo to install glass panel to protect visitors
Panda-mania as furry friends arrive in Britain

Jealous rage: A glass panel is to be installed to protect visitors from the penguin poo. Picture: PurpleGrum/Flickr

UNSUSPECTING visitors waiting to see Edinburgh Zoo's new giant pandas have become the victims of a jealous penguin rage.

The UK’s only pair of such pandas, Tian Tian and Yang Guang, arrived from China last month and the zoo has seen a noticeable increase in the number of people coming to catch a glimpse of them.

But not everyone is excited by the new arrivals.

The BBC reports several rockhopper penguins, whose enclosure neighbours the pandas' enclosure, could be suffering from a case of "monochrome jealousy" and are taking their envy out on innocent bystanders.

A 41-year-old zoo-goer, who didn't want to be named said: "We were queuing to see the pandas when a man in front shouted out in surprise that his jacket had been hit by a big dollop of penguin poo.

"It was really oily and stank of fish. It was disgusting."

Gary Wilson, director of business operations at the zoo said the birds have been particularly interested in the pandas ever since they arrived at their new home.

"[They're] extremely curious birds, they often gather next to the wall to see what's happening below. We're hoping it's not a case of monochrome jealousy, but one or two of our rockhoppers seem to have had surprisingly good aim," Mr Wilson said.

Most of those unfortunate enough to cop the brunt of the poo pelting have laughed it off, however, the zoo plans to install a glass panel to protect visitors from future attacks.

-------------------------------

This is what happens when the penguins get to watch the Scottish Premier League on TV. Tsk.

[Beezulbubba]

Star Wars themed burgers. via: LINK

Quote

Quick, a fast food chain from France and Belgium, is releasing a trio of special burgers to celebrate the re-release of The Phantom Menace in 3D. These burgers are Star Wars themed, of course! We've got a "Dark Vador" burger that was inspired by Darth Vader, a "Jedi" burger that was inspired by Yoda and the Jedi, and a "Dark burger" inspired by Darth Maul.



The Jedi and Dark burgers don't seem all that interesting but for their titles and the weird white chunky shit on the Jedi burger. Could be cheese, could be onions, could be some other congealed white substance… Now I've just talked myself out of ever having the Jedi burger if I were to teleport myself to Belgium. Whoops.

The Dark Vador burger is making headlines simply because the black bun is a testament to its black, black heart. Apparently the blackness is due to a dye and not because a shitload of emos shed eyeliner-infused tears over the buns.

These things will hit the restaurants on March 1st, with the Jedi burger available a few days afterwards on March 5th.

Do we have any Nerd Bastards in Europe who could go out and give these motherfuckers a try? I'd love to hear some first-hand accounts of this stuff.

Source: Geeks of Doom

[Tsundoku]

Those wacky Swedes!

-----------------------------------------

http://www.news.com....0-1226237505819

File sharing officially recognised as a religion in Sweden
Save this story to read later

Staff Writers
news.com.au
January 05, 2012 3:23PM

File sharing officially recognised as a religion
"Information is holy and copying is a sacrament”

GERMANY-RELIGION-CHURCH-SNOW

This is what we hope the Church of Kopimism looks like. Picture: AFP PHOTO

FILE sharing has become a recognised religion in Sweden after a movement successfully registered the Church of Kopimism.

The group of 3000 members were official recognised by Swedish authorities and hope to make file sharing legal.

Spiritual leader of the Church of Kopimism Isak Gerson said the group’s main ritual is the act of copying and connecting with each other by sharing information.

“For the Church of Kopimism, information is holy and copying is a sacrament,” Mr Gerson wrote on the church’s website.

“Being recognized by the state of Sweden is a large step for all of kopimi. Hopefully, this is one step towards the day when we can live out our faith without fear of persecution.”

Mr Gerson said the organisation has been trying to register the religion for over a year, but kept getting rejected.

“I think it might have something to do with the governmental organisations abiding by a very copyright friendly attitude, with a twisted view on copying,” he said.

The church's name comes from "Kopimi", pronounced "copy me".

[HiddenOne]

This is so screwed up, I would like to smack somebody for this:




Couple Finally Reveals Child's Gender, Five Years After Birth
By Piper Weiss, Shine Staff

• Posts

By Piper Weiss, Shine Staff | Parenting – 2 hours 0 minutes ago

It's a boy! And he's five. Beck Laxton, 46, and partner Kieran Cooper, 44, have spent half the decade concealing the gender of their son, Sasha.

"I wanted to avoid all that stereotyping," Laxton said in an interview with the Cambridge News. "Stereotypes seem fundamentally stupid. Why would you want to slot people into boxes?"

Take a look at the most controversial parenting stories of the year.

Laxton, a UK-based web editor, and her partner, Cooper, decided to keep Sasha's sex a secret when he was still in the womb. The birth announcement stated the name of the gender-neutral name of their child, but skipped the big reveal. Up until recently, the couple only told a few close friends and family members that Sasha was a boy and managed to keep the rest of the world in the dark. But now that he's starting school the secret's out.

For years, Becks has been referring to her child, the youngest of three, as "the infant" on her personal blog. But guarding the public from her son's gender was only part of her quest to let her kid just be a kid.

Sasha dresses in clothes he likes -- be it a hand-me-downs from his sister or his brother. The big no-no's are hyper-masculine outfits like skull-print shirts. In one photo, sent to friends and family, Sasha's dressed in a shiny pink girl's swimsuit. "Children like sparkly things," says Beck. "And if someone thought Sasha was a girl because he was wearing a pink swimming costume, then what effect would that have? "

Sasha's also not short on dolls, though Barbie is also off limits. "She's banned because she's horrible," Laxton says in Cambridge interview.

On a macro level she hopes her son sets an example for other parents and makes them reconsider buying their sons trucks or forcing their daughters into tights. She's seen how those consumer trappings affect how and who kids play with in the sandbox.

See how one preschool is fighting gender bias in the classroom

But the sandbox is just a precursor to the classroom. When Sasha turned five and headed to school, Laxton was forced to make her son's sex public. That meant Sasha would have to get used to being a boy in the eyes of his peers. Still, his mom is intervening. While the school requires different uniforms for boys and girls, Sasha wears a girl's blouse with his pants.

"I don't think I'd do it if I thought it was going to make him unhappy, but at the moment he's not really bothered either way. We haven't had any difficult scenarios yet."

Last year another couple, Kathy Witterick, 38, and David Stocker, 39, of Toronto made a similar decision when they had their baby, Storm. At the time, certain psychiatric experts voiced concern over their decision. "To have a sense of self and personal identity is a critical part of normal healthy development," Dr. Eugene Beresin, director of training in child and adolescent psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital, told ABC News. "This blocks that and sets the child up for bullying, scapegoating and marginalization."

But as parents well know, bullying is hard for any child to avoid. It's more important to raise someone who's confident enough in himself to overcome peer pressure. It's also important to have his parents have his back (remember the mom who defended her son's choice in a Halloween costume?) Maybe Sasha's early years will be character building, maybe he'll have a higher emotional quotient being raised with dual perspectives on gender. Or the reverse could be true: Sasha may have less of a formed identity because of his upbringing, and feel angry at his mom for dressing him in flowery shirts and telling the world about it. Then again, maybe he'll get over it.

As for Laxton, she says she's open to her son pursing any career or sexual preference he chooses as he matures. "As long as he has good relationships and good friends," she says, "then nothing else matters, does it?"

http://shine.yahoo.c...-180300388.html

[JLV]

Or he will have no friends, because his mother is making him wear a Woman's blouse with his boy pants, while his gender is known.

Really? She doesn't expect there to be any taunting there?

[Centzon Totochtin]

http://www.news.com....c-1226259359588

This is CREEPY!!!!!!!!!


Kissing robot clears the way for human-robotic relations

THE relationship between humans and robots just got a little bit creepier.




An artificial intelligence researcher in Singapore has developed a robot with a virtual mouth that can emulate and transmit a kiss - bringing an extra touch of intimacy to a long-distance relationship or even a video game.

The “Kissinger” is the size and shape of a softball and has a pair of touch-sensitive lips that detect and copy how each partner delivers their kiss.

Hooman Samani said as well as bridging the physical gap between real people it could also create a link with the virtual worlds to add a new dimension to gaming.


“Humans can kiss virtual characters while playing games and receive physical kisses from their favourite virtual characters,” Mr Samani wrote on his website.

The researcher also believes the Kissinger could bring about a more intimate relationship between humans and robots.

“Kissing is a very important mode of human communication that involves joining lips in order to express many deep felt positive emotions such as affection, respect, greeting, farewell, good luck, romantic affection or sexual desire,” he wrote.

“Technology provides a new facility for closer and more realistic interactions between humans.”

The AI expert has also made a pair of cabbage patch doll “surrogates” that emulate the human voice and movement over the internet using motion tracking sensors, speakers and microphones.

Imagine waking up to find a talking cabbage patch doll waving at you.

[Loki]

 395430_331870066845529_251361068229763_1122985_546712693_n.jpg (91.3K)
Number of downloads: 0

[Adjutant Stormy~]

That's just sad.

[Catherine]

Is that not a true definition of ironic.

[rhulad]

Sad, ironic, and hilarious all at the same time.