[Tsundoku]

Malankazooie, on 14 April 2022 - 09:10 PM, said:

Dummy shoves 4-pound dumbbell in anus, needs emergency surgery 2 days later

Brings literal meaning to "get the lead out."

Also, not sure how you reach in with your forearm on a human, but where there's a will there's a way I suppose.

Quote

Left with no other recourse, the team opted for "manual extraction," which involved the surgeon reaching in with their "forearm" and yanking out the foreign body like a backed-up steer.

Meanwhile, in Switzerland ...

https://www.complex....rbation-session

Man Lands in ICU With Lung Injury After Aggressive Masturbation Session

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 14 April 2022 - 11:20 PM

[Malankazooie]

McGenius.



The sheriff gets rolling about 0:40 seconds in.

I love quirky local news clips. Also, Florida, you so cray.

[Malankazooie]

Aw, she just wants to sun herself. Build a better boat.

[Tsundoku]

This is not a headline you would see often:

https://www.news.com...401ed31d344c7a0

Runner is furious after his dreams are crushed by his own penis

[Malankazooie]

Malankazooie, on 03 August 2022 - 04:25 PM, said:

Aw, she just wants to sun herself. Build a better boat.

Humans suck.

https://www.nbcnews....s/amp/rcna43025

[Tsundoku]

Meanwhile, in Texas ...

https://www.news.com...ea527f448b7b85b

‘World’s most extravagant’ vibrator stolen in sex shop heist
A $14,000 Swarovski crystal-encrusted vibrator was stolen in Texas sex shop heist.

-----------------------------

Things must be getting a bit desperate in the great state.

[Malankazooie]

What up with that chess cheating scandal? Not providing a link; easily searched.

Buttnugget4 to Dingleberry6? Queen's Gambit? More like Queef's Ham Bits.

[Aptorian]

Well, if it's easily searched...???

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

'Vegan Meat Boss Tried to Cannibalize Man's Nose: Cops

[...] Beyond Meat COO Doug Ramsey [Bolton?] [...] in an Arkansas parking garage after a college football game [...] a Subaru "inched its way" out in front of Ramsey's Bronco, connecting with his tire[...] Punching through the back windshield of the other vehicle, Ramsey pulled the driver "in close and started punching his body," [...] then "bit the owner's nose, ripping the flesh on the tip."'

Beyond Meat Boss Arrested After Trying to Cannibalize Man's Nose: Cops

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 20 September 2022 - 02:44 AM

[Malankazooie]

Malankazooie, on 16 September 2022 - 10:14 PM, said:

What up with that chess cheating scandal? Not providing a link; easily searched.

Buttnugget4 to Dingleberry6? Queen's Gambit? More like Queef's Ham Bits.

heh Adafruit Cheekmate.

https://arstechnica....ng-controversy/

[Tsundoku]

I told him to go shove it. And he did ...

https://www.news.com...dbf791200b5ecb1

They say danger can make for great sex, but this is a bit ridiculous. I mean, it's not exactly a baguette.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 21 December 2022 - 01:27 PM

[Tsundoku]

Everything is classier in Yorkshire.

https://www.news.com...a6af6cdc2b5a2e7

New Year’s Eve fireworks cancelled because of masturbating walrus

[Tsundoku]

WTAF?

https://www.news.com...862e0ae62ff94af

'Black alien’ modifies his body, including removing his fingers and ears
A man who calls himself the “black alien” removed his ears, nostrils and even a few fingers before sharpening his teeth and dying them purple.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Tsundoku, on 26 January 2023 - 12:33 PM, said:

WTAF?

https://www.news.com...862e0ae62ff94af

'Black alien' modifies his body, including removing his fingers and ears
A man who calls himself the "black alien" removed his ears, nostrils and even a few fingers before sharpening his teeth and dying them purple.

Ah, just a few fingers... for a moment there I was imagining hands without fingers (or with prosthetic fingers?... actually that might not be so terrible in the not-all-so-distant future; whiskered tentacles instead of fingers?... or maybe fingers like this:

'Scientists Create Shapeshifting Humanoid Robot That Can Liquefy And Reform

Did The Terminator teach us nothing?'

Scientists Create Shapeshifting Humanoid Robot That Can Liquefy And Reform

(lol yes it taught us that it's better than so-called 'humanity'...))

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 26 January 2023 - 01:21 PM

[worry]

I do kinda have an atavistic negative response to seeing that guy, but more power to him I suppose. It'd be rad if we had Iain Banks' Culture level tech for that kinda stuff instead of where we're at now.

[Tsundoku]

More from the WTAF files:

Man electrocuted during botched masturbation involving ping pong ball
A 30-year-old man has died after being electrocuted during a sex act gone wrong, which involved a ping pong ball.

https://www.news.com...e5641e7ab0c7781

-------------------------------------

Props for his ambition, I guess ...

[Tiste Simeon]

I always assumed that's the kind of death you'll be having, Sombra.

[worry]

Yah, sounds like he enjoyed most of his stimulation down unda.

[Tsundoku]

Well, you know how it is. Desperate times call for desperate measures ...

[worry]

I'd say more power to you, but that's what killed the Czech guy.