Weird News Story Du Jour

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Weird News Story Du Jour One thread to bring them all and in the darkness ... wtf?

#721 Tsundoku

A what?

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 5,061
Joined: 06-January 03
Location:Maison de merde

Posted 14 April 2022 - 11:07 PM

Malankazooie, on 14 April 2022 - 09:10 PM, said:

Dummy shoves 4-pound dumbbell in anus, needs emergency surgery 2 days later

Brings literal meaning to "get the lead out."

Also, not sure how you reach in with your forearm on a human, but where there's a will there's a way I suppose.

Quote

Left with no other recourse, the team opted for "manual extraction," which involved the surgeon reaching in with their "forearm" and yanking out the foreign body like a backed-up steer.

Meanwhile, in Switzerland ...

https://www.complex....rbation-session

Man Lands in ICU With Lung Injury After Aggressive Masturbation Session

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 14 April 2022 - 11:20 PM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker

#722 Malankazooie

Elder God

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 6,693
Joined: 21-June 16

Posted 27 May 2022 - 09:38 PM

McGenius.

The sheriff gets rolling about 0:40 seconds in.

I love quirky local news clips. Also, Florida, you so cray.

#723 Malankazooie

Elder God

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Joined: 21-June 16

Posted 03 August 2022 - 04:25 PM

Aw, she just wants to sun herself. Build a better boat.

#724 Tsundoku

A what?

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 5,061
Joined: 06-January 03
Location:Maison de merde

Posted 05 August 2022 - 09:54 PM

This is not a headline you would see often:

https://www.news.com...401ed31d344c7a0

Runner is furious after his dreams are crushed by his own penis

#725 Malankazooie

Elder God

Group: Malaz Regular
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Joined: 21-June 16

Posted 15 August 2022 - 11:38 PM

Malankazooie, on 03 August 2022 - 04:25 PM, said:

Aw, she just wants to sun herself. Build a better boat.

Humans suck.

https://www.nbcnews....s/amp/rcna43025

#726 Tsundoku

A what?

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 5,061
Joined: 06-January 03
Location:Maison de merde

Posted 20 August 2022 - 12:53 AM

Meanwhile, in Texas ...

https://www.news.com...ea527f448b7b85b

‘World’s most extravagant’ vibrator stolen in sex shop heist
A $14,000 Swarovski crystal-encrusted vibrator was stolen in Texas sex shop heist.

-----------------------------

Things must be getting a bit desperate in the great state.

#727 Malankazooie

Elder God

Group: Malaz Regular
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Posted 16 September 2022 - 10:14 PM

What up with that chess cheating scandal? Not providing a link; easily searched.

Buttnugget4 to Dingleberry6? Queen's Gambit? More like Queef's Ham Bits.

#728 Aptorian

How 'bout a hug?

Group: The Wheelchairs of War
Posts: 24,785
Joined: 22-May 06

Posted 17 September 2022 - 03:32 AM

Well, if it's easily searched...???

#729 Azath Vitr (D'ivers

Ascendant

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 3,706
Joined: 07-February 16

Posted 20 September 2022 - 12:20 AM

'Vegan Meat Boss Tried to Cannibalize Man's Nose: Cops

[...] Beyond Meat COO Doug Ramsey [Bolton?] [...] in an Arkansas parking garage after a college football game [...] a Subaru "inched its way" out in front of Ramsey's Bronco, connecting with his tire[...] Punching through the back windshield of the other vehicle, Ramsey pulled the driver "in close and started punching his body," [...] then "bit the owner's nose, ripping the flesh on the tip."'

Beyond Meat Boss Arrested After Trying to Cannibalize Man's Nose: Cops

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 20 September 2022 - 02:44 AM

#730 Malankazooie

Elder God

Group: Malaz Regular
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Joined: 21-June 16

Posted 09 October 2022 - 10:08 PM

Malankazooie, on 16 September 2022 - 10:14 PM, said:

What up with that chess cheating scandal? Not providing a link; easily searched.

Buttnugget4 to Dingleberry6? Queen's Gambit? More like Queef's Ham Bits.

heh Adafruit Cheekmate.

https://arstechnica....ng-controversy/

#731 Tsundoku

A what?

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 5,061
Joined: 06-January 03
Location:Maison de merde

Posted 21 December 2022 - 01:26 PM

I told him to go shove it. And he did ... :ermm:

https://www.news.com...dbf791200b5ecb1

They say danger can make for great sex, but this is a bit ridiculous. I mean, it's not exactly a baguette. :rolleyes:

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 21 December 2022 - 01:27 PM

#732 Tsundoku

A what?

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 5,061
Joined: 06-January 03
Location:Maison de merde

Posted 02 January 2023 - 03:13 AM

Everything is classier in Yorkshire. :shock:

https://www.news.com...a6af6cdc2b5a2e7

New Year’s Eve fireworks cancelled because of masturbating walrus

#733 Tsundoku

A what?

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 5,061
Joined: 06-January 03
Location:Maison de merde

Posted 26 January 2023 - 12:33 PM

WTAF?

https://www.news.com...862e0ae62ff94af

'Black alien’ modifies his body, including removing his fingers and ears
A man who calls himself the “black alien” removed his ears, nostrils and even a few fingers before sharpening his teeth and dying them purple.

#734 Azath Vitr (D'ivers

Ascendant

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 3,706
Joined: 07-February 16

Posted 26 January 2023 - 01:21 PM

Tsundoku, on 26 January 2023 - 12:33 PM, said:

WTAF?

https://www.news.com...862e0ae62ff94af

'Black alien' modifies his body, including removing his fingers and ears
A man who calls himself the "black alien" removed his ears, nostrils and even a few fingers before sharpening his teeth and dying them purple.

Ah, just a few fingers... for a moment there I was imagining hands without fingers (or with prosthetic fingers?... actually that might not be so terrible in the not-all-so-distant future; whiskered tentacles instead of fingers?... or maybe fingers like this:

'Scientists Create Shapeshifting Humanoid Robot That Can Liquefy And Reform

Did The Terminator teach us nothing?'

Scientists Create Shapeshifting Humanoid Robot That Can Liquefy And Reform

(lol yes it taught us that it's better than so-called 'humanity'...))

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 26 January 2023 - 01:21 PM

#735 worry

Master of the Deck

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Location:the buried west

Posted 26 January 2023 - 01:24 PM

I do kinda have an atavistic negative response to seeing that guy, but more power to him I suppose. It'd be rad if we had Iain Banks' Culture level tech for that kinda stuff instead of where we're at now.

They came with white hands and left with red hands.

#736 Tsundoku

A what?

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 5,061
Joined: 06-January 03
Location:Maison de merde

Posted 13 May 2023 - 07:05 AM

More from the WTAF files:

Man electrocuted during botched masturbation involving ping pong ball
A 30-year-old man has died after being electrocuted during a sex act gone wrong, which involved a ping pong ball.

https://www.news.com...e5641e7ab0c7781

-------------------------------------

Props for his ambition, I guess ... :ermm: