[Spoilsport Stonny]

http://www.philly.co...ircus-race.html


</h1>

Quote

<h1>Bear on bike eats monkey after sick circus race
POSTED: Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 7:54 AM
Mike Berth
This is not your typical Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey kind of circus. A video, believed to have been filmed at the Shanghai Wild Animal Park, has started to make the rounds on the Internet. It shows a bear and two monkeys in a bicycle race. After a push from the humans, the animals make two laps around a small track before one of the monkeys crashes into the bear and gets trapped beneath its bicycle.

The bear eats eats the monkey.

The folks at the circus rush over to try to stop the bear from eating the monkey, while others take the second monkey away from the scene.

It is not clear when the latest video was taken but Shanghai Wild Animal Park said in 2006 that the Olympic event had been scrapped following complaints and 'out of consideration for the safety of our visitors.'




Stunts in the show had included making bears box one another and ride bicycles, kangaroos boxing humans and monkeys lifting weights. [Daily Mail]

There's video out there of this, but that's in poor taste, so I won't link it.

This post has been edited by Spoilsport Stonny: 08 May 2013 - 07:44 PM

[Darkwatch]

Tiste, you're a theatre man and in the U.K. which means you must go see this:

Quote

A few weeks ago, ads started circulating around Oxford for a new play so strange that they actually inspired some folks here to stop, cock their heads, and squint in befuddlement. The collective double take is an unusual response here. Like any college town, there’s an overrepresentation of chancy experimental artists roaming freely. And it’s possible that Oxford’s isolation and privilege, emboldened and protected by tradition, has created the platonic ideal of a college town—a pristine sanctuary for the socially disconnected, the pseudo-intellectually masturbatory, and the genuinely visionary alike. But even here, when an outfit calling itself the National Theater of Akkad decides to put on a play entitled Ashurbanipal: The Last Great King of Assyria, concerning the life of a seventh-century B.C. king, written by an Assyriologist DPhil candidate, blocked in the style of Japanese Noh theater, and scored by a quantum physicist with an original heavy metal soundtrack drawing inspiration from Opeth, Porcupine Tree, and Tangerine Dream—people pay attention.

It’s also such a hodgepodge and a mouthful that we ought to break it down bit-by-bit to see why this is either a colossal and gratuitous collision of self-indulgences or a brave, new world of theater. Or something in between, but whatever, who wants nuance when we can just put academic endeavors on trial.

Ashurbanipal tells the story of a four-year period in the reign of the eponymous King of Assyria. During these years, Ashurbanipal (historically) engaged in a brutal war with his older brother, who’d been passed over for the throne and given the venerable city of Babylon instead, and who Ashurbanipal considered the most abominable man in Mesopotamia for unknown reasons. A wickedly smart ruler, Ashurbanipal used his knowledge to fuel his intense hatred, manipulating a society driven by a deep faith in omens by twisting those signs and in the process forcing the hands of his family and advisors into supporting a national bloodletting that eventually led to the decline and fall of Assyria.

At its core, it’s a Freudian meditation (brotherly competition and a strange relationship with a sister) on rage, manipulative intellect, and court intrigue. Playwright and cuneiform scholar Selena Wisnom crafted the story from historical documents—almost every line is derived from ancient Assyrian texts. It’s Wisnom’s attempt to draw a universal psychology out of the tantalizing gaps in the historical record and to shed new light on modern themes through an ancient venue.

Ashurbanipal is a work of historical fiction, a genre even Wisnom admits is thoroughly discredited for most viewers and writers for spending too much time justifying and explaining itself in clunky terms. More generally, it’s maligned for being too alien to communicate modern, applicable concepts. And if medieval knights risk being too alien, then the rift between audiences and an ancient king 99 percent of the world probably knows nothing about might be impassable.

If the subject matter runs the risk of inaccessibility, then director Thomas Stell’s choice to block it like Noh theater just seems like a big fuck-you of experimentalism to the audience. Stell adopted Noh’s heavy white face paint and sharp, stylized, long-held movements and mixed them with minimalist sets and costumes and sudden breaks between monotonous monologues and kinetic surrealist explosions. Stell has claimed outright that he wants his choices to make the characters distant, inhuman.

A choice quote from an interview with a local paper: “I don’t care. I don’t care whether it appeals to the casual theatergoer. That’s not what this is about. I’m not trying to make it an emotional journey.”

The soundtrack, composed by Andrew Garner and Tom Clucas, likewise feels like it should clash. Partially to heighten the unfamiliarity and partially just to keep the actors from breaking their surreal stillness and moving with the beat, Garner wrote in uncomfortable time signatures—like one passage in 15/8 with a slow 4/4 movement droning underneath. As Garner puts it, “Sometimes the music is there for the sake of the music rather than just to support the scene.”

For those wondering how such disparate elements coalesced, there’s no real artistic super-theory. The elements fell together in part for the sake of expediency and in part because, according to Wisnom, “neither Tom [Stell] or I realized the other was joking.”

The show was produced between Easter and mid-May, leaving little time to secure copyright permissions for pre-recorded songs. They nearly settled on a Phillip Glass rip-off score, as that’s all anyone in Oxford wants to write. One night, the two started joking about how the brutal, epic story needed an injection of death rock power. Then they agreed to try it out—first in jest, then, as it turned out, in life.

Despite all the slapdash, the crew went at it with obsessive academic fervor. Fellow Assyriologists helped them look at Assyrian inscriptions to see which stylized poses (for hybridization with Noh forms) corresponded to which emotions and actions. The musicians, who drew their inspiration from the same tablets’ depiction of Ashurbanipal’s flayed enemies being tossed off of walls, had Wisnom train their lead singer to pronounce Akkadian so he could growl monologues in the dead tongue incomprehensibly, but accurately, under the music.

By fate, these potentially gratuitous and self-indulgent elements coalesced into effective, engaging theater. The musicians believe their score imparts vitality and reveals the rage beneath the slow, deliberate action. Wisnom loves the Noh elements for forcing engagement and accentuating the actors’ subtle, tantalizing hints of emotion, restrained under ritual. And the outwardly curt and inhuman elements, she believes, reflect the alienation inherent in all tragedies. The end result is a world disconcerting and engaging enough that the team can shirk exposition, instructing the audience in omens, ritual, and Ashurbanipal’s hatred through gradual immersion.

Stell may have misjudged the ability of his student actors to tackle such idiosyncratic forms. While Ashurbanipal (Timothy Foot), his wife Libbali-Sharrat (Abigail Adams), and sister Sherua-Etirat (Claudia Freemantle) were deep and full, the rest of the cast was uneven at best. Stylized poses were held imperfectly (understandable given the muscle and practice required) or out of sync. And this same imprecision meant that the soundtrack could not flow seamlessly with the action onstage, making it feel more gratuitous and misplaced.

In the short term, the team hopes Ashurbanipal will become a local cult classic. In the long term, Wisnom’s working on “Esarhaddon” and “Sennacherib,” two plays on Ashurbanipal’s father and grandfather, respectively; Garner wants to release the soundtrack as a metal concept album; and Stell dreams of reviving the production at the Royal Opera.

Oxford’s an absurd incubator for the super-collision of self-indulgent and niche ideas. Often, these bouts of academic experimentation lead to crap—a recent attempt to adapt Edgar Allen Poe’s The Murders in the Rue Morgue into all-screaming, all-clawing immersion theater comes to mind. But in the case of Ashurbanipal, this freedom to indulge one’s deepest nerd without limitation or consequence has led to something promising, if rough. It’s certainly a vindication of the little adventure Garner, Stell, and Wisnom have been on for the past few weeks—especially of Wisnom’s amazing script—if not a case for indulging the ivory tower’s oddball experimentalism.

Source: http://www.vice.com/...ford-looks-like

[Satan]

Not weird, just beautiful.

Quote

York mosque counters EDL protest with tea, biscuits and football

A York mosque dealt with a potentially volatile situation after reports that it was going to be the focus of a demonstration organised by a far-right street protest movement - by inviting those taking part in the protest in for tea and biscuits. Around half a dozen people arrived for the protest, promoted online by supporters of the EDL. A St George's flag was nailed to the wooden fence in front of the mosque.

However, after members of the group accepted an invitation into the mosque, tensions were rapidly defused over tea and plates of custard creams, followed by an impromptu game of football.


A young member of York mosque displays his message. Photograph: Ann Czernik

Leanne Staven, who had come for the protest, said that she had not come to the mosque to cause trouble but because "We need a voice". "I think white British who have any concerns feel we can't speak freely," she said.

"Change has been coming for a long time and in light of what happened to that soldier in Woolwich there have to be restrictions on people learning extremist behaviour and it has to stop."

Mohammed el-Gomati, a lecturer at the University of York, said: "There is the possibility of having dialogue. Even the EDL who were having a shouting match started talking and we found out that we share and are prepared to agree that violent extremism is wrong.

"We have to start there. Who knows, perhaps the EDL will invite us to an event and the Muslim community will be generous in accepting that invitation?"

Ismail Miah, president of York mosque, added: "Under the banner of Islam there are very different politics: democratic politics, the far right, left, central, all over. You can't target a whole community for what one or two people have done.

"What they've done in London is for their own reasons but there's no reasoning behind it from an Islamic point of view."

http://m.guardian.co...st-tea-biscuits

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Lunch, anyone?

Quote

Can Sperm Act as a Natural Superfood?
Jun 4, 2013 07:00 PM ET // by Jennifer Viegas

Certain females consume male ejaculate and sperm as if they were food, using the nutrients to fuel their own bodies as well as their eggs, according to new research.

The study, published in the journal Biology Letters, adds yet another dimension to the battle between the sexes.

"If males have their sperm consumed, rather than used for egg fertilization, they will lose that reproductive opportunity. Therefore, it is in the male's best interests to try to ensure at least some of his sperm reaches the female's eggs," lead author Benjamin Wegener, a researcher at Monash University's School of Biological Sciences, explained to Discovery News.

Wegener said that ejaculate consumption is well documented among numerous species. Humans are included in that group, but the behavior is not a standard part of our reproductive process.

According to Columbia Health, human male ejaculate contains fructose sugar, water, ascorbic acid (aka Vitamin C), citric acid, enzymes, protein, zinc and more. It reads like the ingredients list of a protein-infused sports drink.

Sperm consumption -- as opposed to just ejaculate swallowing -- in the animal kingdom "is far less common," according to Wegener. Species that exhibit this include carrion flies, picture wing flies, a strange marine invertebrate known as Spadella cephaloptera, a type of leech, a marine nudibranch and the southern bottletail squid Sepiadarium austrinum.

Humans, again, may swallow sperm, but it's not standard behavior during reproduction.

It appears to happen a lot among squid, the focus of the new study. Wegener and his team discovered the behavior and tracked how the nutrients were utilized after consumption. It is the first time that the phenomenon has been observed in a female with external fertilization.

"This is an important distinction, as even if the female consumes some of the ejaculate in those internal fertilizers, at least some of the sperm remains inside in the reproductive tract," he said. "For an external fertilizer with short-term sperm storage, if the female doesn't lay eggs in time, the male loses his chance to fertilize the eggs."

To help combat this problem, squid sperm and the sperm of many other animals may contain manipulative compounds that stimulate female reproduction. So far, over 80 proteins have been identified in other types of sperm that could do the following: decrease female receptivity to further matings, encourage her to lay eggs sooner, stimulate ovulation and egg production, affect how long females store sperm and affect egg fertility.

Females, on the other hand, can control whether or not they will consume the sperm or ejaculate.

This raises numerous questions, such as whether females sometimes use males as a food source, if females sample sperm to determine its quality and if they eat it to allow other sperm to fertilize eggs.

Tom Tregenza, a professor of evolutionary ecology at the University of Exeter and director of research for CLES Cornwall, told Discovery News that it's been known for some time that insects get nutritional benefits from eating male sperm packets (squid, certain insects and other species encase sperm in a membrane sealed spring-loaded package), "but this finding of exactly the same sort of thing having evolved completely independently in such a distantly related group is really fascinating."

He agrees that the behavior can put pressure on males, which have to balance providing enough sperm for fertilization, but perhaps not so much that females start to rely upon it as a regular "tempting meal."

"As the authors point out," Tregenza added, "she might even choose to eat the sperm packets from less attractive males and use the sperm from more attractive ones for fertilizing her eggs."

http://news.discover...ood-1306041.htm

This post has been edited by Spoilsport Stonny: 06 June 2013 - 04:45 PM

[Rictus]

http://www.dailymail...ipe-player.html
Captain Kindly, that you?

[Lucifer's Heaven]

Hagop, on 07 June 2013 - 05:22 PM, said:

http://www.dailymail...ipe-player.html
Captain Kindly, that you?

One of my favourite Cracked articles

[Darkwatch]

The future is Now:

Quote

Harvard creates cyborg flesh that’s half man, half machine

These cyborg tissues are half living cells, half electronics. As far as the cells are concerned, they’re just normal cells that behave normally — but the electronic side actually acts as a sensor network, allowing a computer to interface directly with the cells. In the case of cyborg heart tissue, the researchers have already used the embedded nanowires to measure the contractions (heart rate) of the cells.

To create cyborg flesh, you start with a three-dimensional scaffold that encourages cells to grow around them. These scaffolds are generally made of collagen, which makes up the connective tissue in almost every animal. The Harvard engineers basically took normal collagen, and wove nanowires and transistors into the matrix to create nanoelectric scaffolds (nanoES). The neurons, heart cells, muscle, and blood vessels were then grown as normal, creating cyborg tissue with a built-in sensor network.

So far the Havard team has mostly grown rat tissues, but they have also succeeded in growing a 1.5-centimeter (0.6in) cyborg human blood vessel. They’ve also only used the nanoelectric scaffolds to read data from the cells — but according to lead researcher Charles Lieber, the next step is to find a way of talking to the individual cells, to “wire up tissue and communicate with it in the same way a biological system does.”

Suffice it to say, if you can use a digital computer to read and write data to your body’s cells, there are some awesome applications. If you need a quick jolt of adrenaline, you would simply tap a button on your smartphone, which is directly connected to your sympathetic nervous system. You could augment your existing physiology with patches — a patch of nanoelectric heart cells, for example, that integrates with your heart and reports back if you experience any problems. When we eventually put nanobots into our bloodstream, small pulses of electricity emitted by the cells could be used as guidance to damaged areas. In the case of blood vessels and other organs, the nanoelectric sensor network could detect if there’s inflammation, blockage, or tumors.

Realistically, though, we’re a long way away from such applications. In the short term, though, these cyborg tissues could be used to create very accurate organs-on-a-chip — lab-grown human organs that are encased within computer chips and then used to test drugs or substance toxicity, without harming a single bunny or bonobo.

Source

[Baco Xtath]

More funny than weird but this guy calls the police because the prostitute he arranged to meet was ugly. Here.

[Sir Thursday]

Awesome:

Quote

A giant crocheted doily has appeared under a railway bridge in Bristol.

The 12ft (3.6m) diameter "spider web" was seen hanging under Stapleton Road railway bridge by Gail Boyle as she drove into work earlier.

"It's a massive piece of crochet... and the nylon cord must be up to an inch thick," she said.

"I've no idea who is responsible, it might be 'yarn bombing', but I crochet and I know that they are proper crochet stitches," she added.

Yarn bombing - also known as guerrilla knitting - is a type of street art or graffiti using items made from yarn - whether knitted, crocheted, or made into pom-poms.

"Last year lots of people were doing yarn bombing and a cloak was knitted for the Queen Victoria statue on College Green," said Ms Boyle.

"But this latest piece of guerrilla crochet is beautiful - it shines like a little white beacon."

[Satan]

A bit late to the party with this one, but it's too good not to share:

Quote

BDSM CLUB ACCUSED OF SEXISM IN KOSHER HUMAN TOILET SPAT
John Spanner, the head of Canada's Human Rights Court, says he's never seen a case quite like it. "It's unique, that's for sure. This case is a perfect example of how progressive our country is." says John. "It highlights the tension that currently exists between sexual equality and religious freedom. If a sex club employs a human toilet, can the toilet's religious beliefs be used to determine who can and can't piss in its mouth? That's what the HRC has to determine in the month ahead."

The trouble started when Jeanette Lachance attended the Red Curtain BDSM sex club last January. "I've been a patron of the Red Curtain for years, but the club was sold recently, and Charles Darnakov -- the new owner -- decided to renovate," says Jeanette. "He replaced the regular toilets with human toilets, coprophiles and urophiles who enjoy being dehumanized. Which is cool, I'm down with that. The problem is, Alex Rothstein, the toilet I got, was a devout Jew. He told me I couldn't piss in his mouth if I was menstruating, because that wasn't kosher. I don't have a problem with religious people, but if they're going to work as a human toilet, they shouldn't be allowed to discriminate against women just because they're menstruating. If they won't let everyone piss in their mouth, they should get another job."

Charles Darkanov disagrees. "My employees have total discretion over who can and cannot urinate on them. They might work as human toilets, but they're also human beings," says Charles. "My human toilets have values, beliefs, and morals that are strictly their own, and the Red Curtain has a strict policy that consent is the bedrock of human sexuality. You don't come to a sex club and piss on someone if they don't want you to piss on them, even if that's their job. I should also point out that the Red Curtain employs five human toilets, and Jeanette could have waited until one of the other four were available. She didn't have to pee on Alex."

Jeanette, however, says that's beyond the point. "We live in a secular society," says Jeanette. "Your religion doesn't give you carte blanche to discriminate against people at will."

Alex Rothstein, for his part, says the whole issue is ridiculous. "You know, I think Jeanette is kind of overreacting," says Alex. "She's suing me because I didn't let her piss in my mouth. That's pretty weird.

Source

[Satan]

Say what you will o the Premiership, at least people don't go decapitating people there.

Quote

Police in northern Brazil say one man has been
arrested after a referee who fatally stabbed a
player during a match was decapitated by
spectators who stormed the field. Local reports said the incident, which took
place on 30 June in the remote Brazilian town
of Pio XII, escalated when the player, 30-year-
old Josenir dos Santos, became involved in an
argument with the referee, Octavio da Silva. As the confrontation became physical and Dos
Santos refused to leave the field, Da Silva
allegedly produced a knife and stabbed the
player, who died while being taken to hospital. Reports said that outraged spectators
responded by running on to the field and
stoning Da Silva, before severing his head and
sticking it on a stake in the middle of the field. Police at the regional headquarters of Santa
Ines said a 27-year-old man was arrested on 2
July, with the investigation continuing. Police spokesman Valter Costa was quoted as
saying: "We will identify and hold accountable
all those involved in this incident. One crime
will never justify another. Actions like this do
not correspond with state law." Brazil faces mounting pressure to show it is a
safe place for tourists before 12 cities host the
2014 World Cup and Rio de Janeiro the
Olympics in 2016. The Confederations Cup in
June was marked by violence as anti-
government protestors angered by the amount of money being spent on the events clashed with police.

source

This post has been edited by Satan: 07 July 2013 - 11:13 AM

[Satan]

I love Pastafarianism!

Quote

In some countries, cooking is like a religion. In the Czech Republic, it apparently is.

Lukas Novy, a Czech "Pastafarian," has legally won the right to wear a spaghetti strainer in his official government ID card photo, citing religious reasons, as a devout member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

What is Pastafarianism, you ask? According to their website, the satirical sect was formed by a bunch of peaceful pirate explorers with a penchant for beer, ruled by an invisible noodly monster who "boiled for your sins."

Surprisingly, it's not the first time a government has recognized Pastafarians' sieve-donning habits as being as legitimate as any other religious practice.

A spokesperson explained that Novy's crockery "complies with the laws of the Czech Republic where headgear for religious or medical reasons is permitted," as long as it doesn't cover his face, reported Think Progress, which rightly raised the issue of the legitimacy in religious liberty claims:

Obviously, this is an intentionally absurd story of a man finding a legal loophole and exploiting it in a humorous (and harmless) way. But Novy's Pastafarian ID card does speak to a broader problem facing any religious liberty regime: a religious liberty regime must be able to sort legitimate religious objections from attempts to game the law. In the United States, for example, individuals claiming they are exempt from the law due to religious objections must base those objections in "sincerely held" religious beliefs — not in a non-religious belief, a made up belief, or a prank. The alternative to policing this line is virtual anarchy, because without it anyone could raise virtually any objection to virtually any law and receive a religious exemption from having to comply with it.

It is presumed that tonight, hundreds of thousands of self-listed Jedis around the world will help celebrate Novy's small win in the battle for freedom of expression for all religions, hoping perhaps that soon the time will come when their own saber-wielding ways will be enshrined in legislation.

Source

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

http://www.bbc.co.uk...onitor-23962379

animal spies.

[Tsundoku]

Housing crisis? What housing crisis?

http://www.news.com....7-1226752086379

Canadian firm NOMAD's flat-pack home can be shipped anywhere in the world

Nomad Micro Homes make you ask youself how much space you really need to live. Picture: Nomad Micro Homes Source: Supplied
A COMPANY in Canada has come up with a new flat-pack home that can be shipped anywhere in the world and put together in days.
The dinky micro-home is only 10ft by 10ft with a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen.
Designed by Vancouver-based NOMAD, the house cleverly manages space, with a bed slotted beneath a sloped roof and the bathroom doubling as a shower. Storage areas can also be used as seating.
Designer Ian Kent said: "I knew that effective design could make a space this size feel comfortable. My goal was to produce an efficient yet cozy home with minimal impact on yard space and the environment.”
On its website NOMAD said its goal in designing the home was "to reduce consumerism and focus on an affordable and sustainable housing option for the largest portion of our society: hard-working individuals who can't make ends meet due to the high cost of living."
Priced at between $25,000 and $28,000, NOMAD is looking for funding through an online campaign to test prototypes and develop infrastructure for larger scale production. The company says it hopes to raise $120,000 online to develop the project.
Buyers can also add green options such as solar energy, rainwater collection and grey water treatment that can take the micro-home completely off the grid.

Their website:

http://www.nomadmicr....com/index.html

Check the gallery for more pictures.

[Tsundoku]

A guy with 2 functioning penises did an AMA on Reddit.

I am not kidding. There is pic proof as well. No I am not linking it, you'll just have to read the top of the AMA.

http://www.reddit.co...wo_penises_ama/

--------------------

Literally, amazeballs ...

This post has been edited by Sombra: 03 January 2014 - 03:33 PM

[Kruppe's snacky cakes]

No offense to Australian members, but your compatriots seem to occupy a disproportionate amount of space in the "strange news" section of my Earthlink.net homepage...

Naked Aussie freed from washer with olive oil

[Stormcat]

http://factualfacts....-him-invisible/
He should have paid the extra money for the improved invisibility. This one is known to stop working if someone looks at you.

[Tsundoku]

Just makes you wonder how close to death millions of nerds are every day in schools all over the USA ...

----------------------------------------

http://www.news.com....v-1226798101625

Man dies after 'atomic wedgie'

3 HOURS AGOJANUARY 09, 2014 11:57AM

A MAN has been arrested after his stepfather was suffocated with his own underwear and struck on the head.
Brad Davis, 33, was arrested and reportedly told Oklahoma police he gave his stepfather, Denver Lee St. Clair, 58, an “atomic wedgie.”
Pottawatomie County Sheriff Mike Booth said he had never heard of “an atomic wedgie,” before Davis told investigators about the incident, Oklahoma's NewsOK reports.
“I'd never seen this before, but when we first looked at our victim seeing the waistband of his underwear was around his neck,” Booth said.
Booth said Davis told investigators that he went to his stepfather's residence and his stepfather “jumped him.”
St. Clair had a head wound and appeared to have been in a fight. The underwear St. Clair was wearing had been pulled up his back and over his head, leaving the waistband around his neck.
Booth said it was the first time he had ever heard of someone being killed by a pair of underwear.
St Clair died on December 21. The cause of death has been determined to be from blunt force trauma to the head and asphyxiation. The death has been ruled a homicide.

This post has been edited by Sombra: 09 January 2014 - 04:12 AM

[Tsundoku]

I can't help picturing his panic and what I imagine to be the moment he made The Decision.

----------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.news.com....v-1226799748274

Pennsylvania teen Christopher Scheller found to have concealed robbery loot up his rectum
JANUARY 11, 2014 8:31PM

Christopher Scheller, 18, was found have stashed the loot from a break-in up his rectum in an effort to avoid detection after a car accident in Pennsylvania.

POLICE in Pennsylvania made an "unusual find" after collaring a suspected teenage drink driver. A mountain of buried treasure … up his bum.
Police found the seemingly intoxicated Christopher Scheller, 18, near his car after it crashed into a tree in Southern York County early in December.
Officers had not suspected Scheller of any further naughty behaviour as they had found no junk in his trunk.
However, WHTM-TV reports that when Scheller was sent to hospital for an examination, doctors decided it would be wise to take an X-ray as the teen was in an unusual degree of discomfort.
The image turned up "an abnormality".
Several "abnormalities", in fact.
Scheller refused to have the objects removed. He would be fine, he insisted.
But he wasn't.
Eventually the pain became so great that he consented to being placed on the surgeon's table, under the surgeons' steady, latex-clad hands.
Here's what they found:
- Four bracelets
- Four necklaces
- 11 ladies rings
- A socket wrench
- A bag of synthetic marijuana
Police smelt a rat, among other things.
So they investigated the objects.
It turned out that the items had that evening been stolen from a house in Heidelberg Township.
Scheller, desperate to conceal the evidence upon the arrival of police at the scene of his accident, tried to stash the items.
The first place he thought of was … up his bum.
He was charged with theft, receiving stolen property and driving while under the influence.

---------------------------------

"One .... oh god, think warm thoughts ... two ..."

Gold.

[Kruppe's snacky cakes]

Sombra, on 11 January 2014 - 11:14 AM, said:

- A socket wrench

Okay, lock-picking tools or other suspicious items I would be able to understand. But a socket wrench? Would the tire iron have been next if he'd had time...???