[Illuyankas]

I think watching Apt's Top Ten Movies without breaks will do. Well, without breaks apart from his mind snapping like a twig.

[Aptorian]

Hmm.

Of the top of my head, my top ten would look something like this:

The Dark Knight.

Blood Sport.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

Die Hard

Armageddon

Taken

The Hunted

Ghostbusters

Indiana Jones 4

and perhaps Big Trouble in Little Tokyo.

That would give any man some hair on his chest.

[Bauchelain the Evil]

Strangely of those films in that list that I have seen I only have one objection. Indiana Jones 4. Are you being serius?

This post has been edited by Bauchelain the Evil: 02 May 2010 - 03:06 PM

[MTS]

Indiana Jones 4? Are you high? Of any Indiana Jones film you choose 4? Other than that, it's a pretty good list.

This post has been edited by MTS: 02 May 2010 - 03:17 PM

[Aptorian]

We've discussed this many times. Each time people are incredulous and I remain stubbornly convinced that new is better than old.

I even did a forum post about Indy 4 originally after it came out: http://forum.malazan...=1&#entry319059

I think that Indy 4 is Indiana Jones for the New Millenia. It's bigger, louder and more over the top. Claiming that it is some how unfaithful or worse than the old ones doesn't make sense. The old trilogy was never some kind of oscar winning group of films with amazing acting and brilliant manuscripts. Indy films are about cheesy one liners and some good fun set in creepy ancient locations with some half baked mythology thrown into the mix. Indy 4 delivered all of that.

Personally I can't wait for them to begin filming on the next one, which apparently is in pre-production already.

This post has been edited by Aptorian: 02 May 2010 - 03:28 PM

[Aptorian]

Come to think of it. Aliens (The Sequel), Predator, Robocop, Universal Soldier, Cape Fear, Terminator 1+2, Casino Royal, Kill Bill vol 1, The Thing, Where Eagles Dare, Best of the Best, Any which way but loose, Top Gun, Nemesis, Event Horizon, Reservoir Dogs, Highlander and half a hundred other action films with lots of action could also be on that Top 10... oh and Transformers 2 and Starwars Episode 1 as well.

EDIT: Oh and Starship Troopers, Showdown in little Tokyo, Escape from New York, The Golden Child, Delta Force, Rocky 4, Rambo First Blood, Beast Master, Conan The Barbarian, The Princess Bride, Equilibrium, Last Man Standing, Hardboiled and many many more.

This post has been edited by Aptorian: 02 May 2010 - 04:21 PM

[Tsundoku]

Centz, no more complaints from you ...

--------------------------------

http://www.news.com....0-1225861790690

Peruvian mum Julia Manihuari bedbound for six months by N cup breasts

* From The Sun
* From: NewsCore
* May 03, 2010 11:38PM

A PERUVIAN mother-of-four was trapped in her bed for six months because of her giant breasts.

The Sun reported that Julia Manihuari's chest grew to a gigantic N cup after the birth of her third son seven years ago - leaving her unable to move.

"It was awful. If I tried to get up I would faint because my breasts were so heavy," she said.

Ms Manihuari, 29, who lives in northern rural Peru, was finally helped when local media paid for her to take a three-day boat trip to the nearest town for medical help.

Doctors diagnosed an extreme form of Bilateral Gynecomastia - an illness where the mammary gland keeps growing.

They had to cut 35 pounds of flesh from her breasts, fearing they could squash her lungs and kill her.

Ms Manihuari emerged as a size 34B after the six-hour operation.

"Before the operation I couldn't do anything - I just had to live with it. It got so bad that my breasts were touching my legs," she said.

"I have always had a small build, and the stress on the rest of my body was agony."

Read more about Julia Manihuari's breast ordeal at The Sun.

--------------------------------

The Sun link has a pre-op photo. Yes, it's safe for work.

http://www.thesun.co...-big-boobs.html

============================================================

With great power comes great responsibility:

http://www.news.com....r-1225861333618

The best arrest ever, starring Spider-man, Jedi and the Flash

* By Callie Watson
* From: The Advertiser
* May 02, 2010 11:28PM

Spider-man (aka comic store owner Michael Baulderstone) confronts a would-be shoplifter / The Advertiser Source: The Advertiser

* Comic store owner stops shoplifter
* Was dressed as Spider-man at the time
* Helped out by Jedi knights and the Flash

IT SOUNDS like a crazy comic book splot: Spider-man foils a robbery as Jedi knights block the would-be thief's escape and the Flash watches on.

This was just what happened on Saturday morning when a business owner dressed as Spider-man stopped a man from stealing a comic book worth $160.

Adelaide Comic Centre's Michael Baulderstone, 45, noticed a man "behaving suspiciously" at the back of his store.

Upon closer examination, he sAW that the man had put a valuable book in his backpack.

"We had about 40 people dressed up as their favourite superheroes to celebrate International Free Comic Day, so he didn't have much of a choice but to hand the X-Men Omnibus back after a little bit of a scuffle," he said.

"I've had a look at the security footage and it shows Spider-Man running down the corridor of the shop, grabbing this guy, hauling him off.

"Everyone in the store thought it was a play, that it was street theatre of some sort. It wasn't until I said `Call the police' that people started to realise."

International Free Comic Day is held around the world on the first Saturday of May.

In Adelaide, two businesses, the Adelaide Comic Centre and Pulp Fiction Comics, encouraged customers to dress as comic heroes and handed out free comics to mark the occasion.

"One of the funniest things about the incident was that I called for people to stand near the door and it just so happened we had people dressed as Jedi knights there blocking the exit, the Flash was there at some point too," Mr Baulderstone said.

"It was a bit serious at the time, but now we're looking back laughing at what greeted police when they arrived."

David Humphrey, a member of the Rebel Legion, a group of Star Wars fans, said: "It was quite funny to think that our Spider-man actually did catch himself a bad guy."

=============================================================

EDIT: Just found another link where apparently Susan Boyle will possibly be doing a duet with a rapper or Lady Gaga, but I figured the above was enough weirdness for one day.

This post has been edited by Sombra: 04 May 2010 - 01:47 AM

[Centzon Totochtin]

Holy crap! Those are frightening

And I will still complain all I like thank you

[Tsundoku]

For some reason this reminds me of Illy. Can't think why ...

------------------------------------

http://www.news.com....0-1225866650004

Skinny-dipping tourist bitten on penis by spider

* From: NewsCore
* May 14, 2010 10:35AM

A CANADIAN tourist suffered heart inflammation after he was bitten on the penis by a venomous spider while swimming nude in New Zealand.

The 22-year-old man fell asleep naked on the sand dunes after skinny dipping in Northland, Wellington - then “woke to find his penis swollen and painful with a red mark on the shaft suggestive of a bite”, according to the New Zealand Medical Journal.

He was bitten by a katipo spider which caused generalized muscle pains, fever, headache, photophobia (light sensitivity) and vomiting, the journal said.

"It was a rather nasty, ill-placed bite," Dr Nigel Harrison told the New Zealand Herald.

The man was taken to the Dargaville Hospital where his condition worsened. He developed high blood pressure and chest pains and was treated with antivenin medicine.

His heart problems persisted so he was treated at Whangarei Hospital and Auckland Hospital before returning to Canada.

“He was discharged after a total of 16 days in hospital. On review he was generally well," the journal report said.

He was the first known person to develop myocarditis - heart inflammation - following a katipo spider bite.

The katipo is a small endangered species of spider native to New Zealand. The female has a black body with a white bordered red stripe on its back while the male is white with black stripes and red diamond shaped markings.

----------------------------------------

And it was a pants-less Canadian tourist too - the rarest kind.

[Aptorian]

http://www.nydailyne...l#ixzz0cqQnzjCf

Quote

Nearly impossible to overdose on drug - Traumeel - that Alexa Ray Joel took
By Stephanie Gaskell
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Monday, December 7th 2009, 4:00 AM

Alexa Ray Joel, 23, was rushed to the hospital after taking several pills. Law enforcement sources said they were sleeping pills, but a source close to Joel said it was Traumeel, a medication used to treat minor aches and pains associated with repetitive sports injuries.

"Nothing would happen because there's nothing in it," said Dr. Lewis Nelson, a toxicologist at NYU Medical Center. "There's no active ingredient. There's nothing in these pills."

Traumeel contains 12 biological ingredients, including several plants that are known to be toxic, and two mineral substances, according to Traumeel.com.

But homeopathic medicines are so diluted, they often end up not even containing the original ingredients.

"So basically you'd be taking more of nothing," Nelson said, adding that he still recommends following the instructions on the bottle.

Traumeel is also used on horses, dogs and cats. In 1997, it became the first homeopathic medicine to be listed in the Physicians' Desk Reference.

[Tsundoku]

Appropriate?

----------------------------------

http://www.news.com....0-1225872963038

Marine goes to war with Sarah Palin and Aussie stars tattooed on his bum

* By Alice Wolke from myFOX
* From: NewsCore
* May 29, 2010 9:00PM

SOMEWHERE in Afghanistan is a US marine with a tattoo of Sarah Palin on his left bum cheek and the Southern Cross on the other.

Marine Gunnery Sergeant Benjamin Lepping said the tattoo was his tribute to "the hottest cougar in the Republican Party".

Before he was sent to Afghanistan, Gunnery Sergeant Lepping was stationed in Alaska when Ms Palin was governor.

He said he had such a good time, he wanted something to remind him of his time there.

“I decided, ‘What could be better than getting a tattoo of the hottest cougar in the Republican Party?'” he told the Military Times.

Lepping, who got the tattoo last June, has a number of other images inked on his body - including the Southern Cross.

“I had a good time in Australia,” he said.

Gunnery Sergeant Lepping said that he is a fan of Ms Palin and hoped to meet her someday.

“If it was going to be a funny tattoo, I figured it had to be in a funny place,” he said.

-------------------------------

Dunno about the Southern Cross, but I can't think of a better place for Sarah Palin. Except maybe on an anti-inbreeding poster. Or toilet paper.

[Aptorian]

http://www.foxnews.c...ff-standoff-la/

Quote

Porn Actor Accused of Murder Dies After Cliff-Top Standoff in L.A.
A porn actor wanted for allegedly murdering a co-worker with a samurai-style sword has died jumping off a cliff after a day-long stand-off with police, the Los Angeles Times reported late Saturday.

It had earlier been reported that Stephen Clancy Hill, 34, was in police custody after falling from a cliff edge.

Hill, who was wanted for one count of murder and five counts of attempted murder after attacking colleagues at a pornographic film distribution company warehouse in Los Angeles on Tuesday, had been surrounded by police for eight hours on the edge of Canoga Park.

With dusk approaching and Hill continuing to threaten to kill himself, members of the Los Angeles Police Department's elite SWAT unit tried to subdue and apprehend him, Deputy Chief Kirk Albanese told the Times.

Hall then threw himself over the cliff and suffered fatal head injuries in the 50-foot (15m) fall, authorities said.

Early Saturday, SWAT teams had descended on a house in the San Fernando Valley after a tip-off.

Television footage showed the actor, who once played Barack Obama in porn spoof “Palin: Erection 2008,” holding a samurai sword and shouting at police to keep their distance.

Hill, who has appeared in several porn films under the stage name "Steve Driver," was believed to have murdered fellow actor Herbert Wong at the warehouse-style offices of Ultima DVD on Tuesday.

Wong, who had appeared in two films with Hill under the name "Tom Dong," died as he tried to help other staff to escape, the company's owner said.

Hill's rampage appeared to have been triggered by the discovery that he was about to be fired and evicted from the office where he had been living.

[Dag]

Scientists use Calvin Klein cologne to lure jaguars

http://www.reuters.c...E6584WV20100610

[...] The discovery that Obsession for Men acted as a magnet for jaguars was the result of an experiment by the WCS's Bronx Zoo in New York.

The WCS was looking for ways to get cheetahs in front of camera traps, and, after several years of testing with different fragrances, found spraying the musky Obsession For Men near the heat-and-motion-sensitive cameras drew the cats for longer than other scents.

They also tried out about 23 other fragrances but Obsession for Men kept the cats' attention for longest with Nina Ricci's L'Air du Temps coming second. [...]


And I thought it worked only on cougars...

[Dag]

Double post, but I couldn't resist...

German student attacks Hell's Angels with puppy

A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell's Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer. [...]

I mean... WTF...?

[Satan]

http://edition.cnn.c...?iref=allsearch

Quote

Islamabad, Pakistan (CNN) -- An American held in Pakistan who said he was looking for Osama bin Laden is "like a bulldog" who wouldn't let go of the idea of finding the fugitive al Qaeda leader, his brother said Tuesday.

"My brother is not crazy. He is highly intelligent and loves his country and he has not forgotten what Osama has done to this country," Scott Faulkner, brother of Gary Brooks Faulkner, told CNN.

"Osama had made some references to our God, the God of the Bible, in a poor light, and the fact that he was taunting America and getting away with killing thousands of Americans, my brother took that very personally," he said.

Gary Faulkner, 50, is being held in Pakistan after being stopped near the border with Afghanistan's Nuristan province, Pakistani police announced Tuesday. He was carrying a pistol, a sword, night-vision equipment and Christian religious books, said Mumtaz Ahmed, a police chief in the area.

He told police that he had been looking for bin Laden since al Qaeda's September 11, 2001, attacks on New York and Washington and had traveled to the area several times before, Ahmed said.

A reward of up to $25 million is currently being offered by the U.S. State Department in return for information leading directly to bin Laden's arrest.

Faulkner said he had no intention of killing bin Laden, but because of the weapons he was carrying, police did not believe him, Ahmed said.

Faulkner is a California-born independent contractor who has lived in Colorado since 1968, his brother said.

Colorado Bureau of Investigation records show that a Gary Brooks Faulkner has a lengthy criminal record of minor offenses that dates to the early 1980s. He served jail time on three separate occasions for various charges that included second-degree burglary, and was arrested as recently as 2006 for a traffic violation.

More recently, Scott Faulkner said, his brother felt the U.S. government was not doing enough to bring bin Laden to justice, "and he felt that he was, as a Christian, not afraid -- that he could boldly step out and that doors would be opened for him."

"And I agree with him," Scott Faulkner said. "The fact that he's been over there six times and has not received a scratch tells me that somebody's looking after him."

Scott Faulkner said his brother "could blend in with the local population and go places that our military cannot go."

"We have relationships with the Pakistani government: 'OK. You can go in this region or you can't go in that region,' whereas my brother could go about willy-nilly," he said. "He had a long beard. He looked like Taliban. When he wore his robe, he looked like Taliban. The only way you could tell he was not was when he spoke."

U.S. Embassy Spokesman Richard Snelsire did not confirm that Faulkner was in Pakistani custody, but said the U.S. Consulate in Peshawar did receive notification that an American citizen was detained. Snelsire said they were trying to get more details.

"We're hoping to get consular access to the individual," Snelsire said.

In Washington, State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley said the Pakistanis informed the U.S. government about the arrest, but he couldn't discuss details.

"We want to talk to him, figure out who he is, what brought him to Pakistan, and we'll take it from there," Crowley said.

Oh, lordy. Americans....

[Tsundoku]

Oh noes, the Abyssmal Army just became an even bigger threat!

---------------------------------------------------

http://www.news.com....0-1225884599054

Oscar becomes world's first bionic cat after farm accident

* By staff writers
* From: NewsCore
* June 26, 2010 12:34PM

A BLACK cat that lost both hind paws after being run over by a combine harvester on the island of Jersey, in the English Channel, was revealed to the world overnight as the world's first cat to be fitted with a pair of flexing bionic legs.

Without the prostheses, Oscar would have been unable to walk and may have been put down.

The two-year-old’s owners, Kate and Mike Nolan, were referred by the local vet to Professor Noel Fitzpatrick, a veterinary surgeon based in Surrey, south England, who pioneers prosthetics.

Oscar’s custom-made implants are attached internally to the ankle joints, where the foot was amputated, and emerge through the skin like a pair of stilts. They are coated with hydroxyapatite, a material that mimics the way antler bones mesh with soft tissue.

“Oscar is the first creature to have a prosthesis that is osteointegrated, skin-integrated and part of a moving joint,” said Prof Fitzpatrick. “It’s a miracle of biomechanics.”

The implants, known as ITAPs (intraosseous transcutaneous amputation prosthetics), were first developed by Gordon Blunn, a biomedical engineer, and colleagues at University College London.

The honeycomb structure allows skin to bond to the implant, forming a seal against infection.

In a three-hour operation, the ITAPs, costing £2000 each ($2,987), were inserted by drilling into Oscar’s ankle bones. Prof Fitzpatrick then studied Oscar’s gait to design suitable feet.

After eight months at Prof Fitzpatrick’s practice he can now walk, run and climb stairs on his rubber-soled prosthetics. He will not be allowed outside unless on a harness once he goes home, in a month. “Imagine he goes outside and tries to climb a tree - what then?” said Prof Fitzpatrick.

Oscar’s case shows that the flesh and bone melds to the bionic limb well enough for it to bear weight and bend beneath the skin. “Noel’s experiences are informing human surgery, which is very unusual in orthopedics,” said Mr Blunn, a biomechanics specialist.

Prof Fitzpatrick said he welcomed a collaborative approach with human surgeons but that his primary responsibility would always be the pet. He and his clinic are the focus of a BBC TV series, The Bionic Vet which begins in the UK.

-----------------------------------

Remember, you saw it here first!

[Tsundoku]

What a thoroughly depressing prospect

----------------------------------------------------

http://www.news.com....0-1225886930151

Cor blimey! Cockney dying out in London

* From: AAP
* July 02, 2010 1:54AM

COCKNEY will disappear from use on London streets within a generation, and be replaced by the kind of English dialect spoken by Ali G, according to new research.

The 650-year-old cockney accent is dying off in the UK capital, as traditional speakers emigrate to the Home Counties of Essex and Hertfordshire, The Evening Standard newspaper reports.

It is being replaced by multicultural London English, heavily influenced by West Indian patois, Bangladeshi and remnants of old cockney.

"In much of the East End of London, the cockney dialect that we hear now spoken by older people will have disappeared within a generation," said researcher Paul Kerswill, who is a professor of sociolinguistics at Lancaster University.

"People in their 40s will be the last generation to speak it and it will be gone within 30 years."

Since the 1960s east London has become home to immigrants from the West Indies and the Indian subcontinent, as well as South America, Africa and central Asia.

The new hybrid language that has developed as a result is known in slang terms as "Jafaican", which is used by the likes of comedy character Ali G and rapper Dizzee Rascal.

Professor Kerswill will publish his full findings next year.

------------------------------------------------------

I always thought it was just a joke accent for the character Ali G - is it actually real? Do people honestly speak like utter fucking retards who weren't even taught basic functional verbal grammar?

Do we have to put Toby in the British Museum to preserve him?

If this has even a slight chance of being true I suggest nuking East End London from orbit, just to be sure. It's almost as harsh on the ear as vuvuzelas. Or Scouse.

This post has been edited by Sombra: 01 July 2010 - 05:47 PM

[stone monkey]

Cats were eating man, 74, found dead with mom
Associated Press

ALBION —

Humane officials removed a dozen cats from a northwestern Pennsylvania home where a deputy coroner says the animals started eating the foot of an elderly man found dead there with his mother.

Erie County Deputy Coroner Korac Timon says 74-year-old Herbert Walden likely died of a heart attack in Albion, several days before his body was found Saturday. His 94-year-old mother, Jane Walden, was also found dead.

The coroner says Jane Walden likely died of dehydration sometime after her son died. The woman relied on her son’s care and their trash-filled home didn’t have running water.

Joe Grisanti, executive director of the Human Society of Northwestern Pennsylvania, says crews removed a dozen cats from the home on Tuesday. They also found four more dead cats and a dead dog in the residence.

–––

They do say that the difference between a dog and a cat is that a dog will mourn you for a week before it starts to eat your corpse...

[Gwynn ap Nudd]

The headline says it all:

Quote

Man in B.C. steals pickup, western clothing, asks way to Stampede
Daryl Slade, Calgary Herald: Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Share

CALGARY — Police in British Columbia and Alberta are on the hunt for a truck-stealing, dognapping, wannabe cowboy, who is apparently en route from Summerland, B.C., to the Calgary Stampede.

The thief illegally entered a residence just outside the Okanagan town of 11,000 when nobody was home about 11 a.m. on Monday, then showered and took a Wrangler western shirt, blue jeans and cowboy boots.

He also found keys in the home, then stole a 1998 grey Dodge Diesel three-quarter-ton truck with the owners' border collie, Spud, in the back.

As well, a carrying case with three registered handguns was taken from the home of Gerlinde and Dareld Havers, police confirmed.

"We want our dog back. We're not sure if he took him all the way to Calgary or dropped him off," Gerlinde Havers said. "He stopped at a tire repair shop and wanted to go to Calgary and the Stampede. He got directions to go to the rodeo grounds, right beside our place, where he thought he'd get a ride from a cowboy to Calgary."

Havers said the man then went into their home, showered, took her husband's western wear and left his dirty jersey, underwear and boots before leaving. She said the break-in was discovered when she returned home about 2 p.m. on Monday.

Summerland RCMP Const. Richard Schuhmacher said on Tuesday it was a strange break-in and theft, with a lot of valuables in plain view in the home left untouched.

The suspect went back into town afterwards, driving the vehicle and wearing the stolen clothing and asking for directions to Calgary.

Schuhmacher said he has obtained video of the suspect from prior to the theft and is attempting to identify him. He also seized the man's discarded clothing as evidence.

"It's a strange B & E. Most people wouldn't drive back into Summerland to ask directions and be seen," said the officer. "As of yet, we have not heard anything. The investigation is still ongoing."

Schuhmacher said police are looking for a man about 20 years old, about 5-foot-11 and 150 pounds, and may be partly aboriginal. He also may have a mental condition, based on conversations he had with residents. He also was last seen wearing the stolen clothing.

The truck, he said, has the B.C. licence plate: 6095GN.

http://www.globaltvb...3490/story.html

[Tsundoku]

What do you get when you cross a Tory with a Social Democrat?

--------------------------------------------------

http://www.news.com....0-1225895330430

Cross-dressing man caught having sex with dog at English castle

* From: NewsCore
* July 22, 2010 12:08AM

A CROSS-dressing man was caught having sex with a dog in the moat of a picturesque English Castle, it has emerged.

The 33-year-old transvestite mounted the canine after it ran off from its owner at Pendennis Castle - a historical fortress in southern England built by King Henry VIII - on the morning of July 10, the UK's Telegraph website reported.

The pet's owner had been touring the castle with a friend when the dog chased after the cross-dresser. By the time the woman caught up with her pet, the man was already having sex with it.

Castle staff detained the man as police were called to the scene, a spokesman for English Heritage, which manages the attraction, said..

"This really was a very rare and unusual incident," the spokesman said.

The man was later said to have made a "full and frank confession" to the incident, which remains under police investigation.

------------------------------------------

I ... have nothing more to add.