[Ain't_It_Just_]

Sombra, on 31 March 2010 - 07:37 AM, said:

You have GOTTA be kidding me!

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http://www.news.com....0-1225847704304

Cucumber in rear was 'failed suicide bid'

* From correspondents in London
* From: NewsCore
* March 30, 2010 10:29PM

A HONG Kong man, taken to the hospital to have a cucumber removed from his bottom, told doctors he inserted it in a suicide attempt.

The Sun reported Chin Wei, 62, said the method was a variation of the Japanese ritual suicide hara-kiri - usually carried out with a sword plunged into one's own stomach.

He was found in a pool of blood by his daughter before being rushed to receive medical health.

Medics said a severe tear to the man's anus was not life-threatening.

Read more about the man who tried to kill himself with a cucumber enema at The Sun

* Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or SANE Helpline on 1800 18 SANE (7263) or visit www.beyondblue.org.au.

--------------------------------

The mind boggles.

He should have used cauliflower instead.

[Gothos]

or a stick of dynamite.

[Darkwatch]

I'm thinking a pineapple would have been the best suited.

[Tsundoku]

Not so much "weird" as "pathetic". Get a life, FFS!

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http://www.news.com....49377540?page=1

It's a gallery about all the hoo-ha over the launch of the iPad. What a wank.

[Darkwatch]

Sombra, on 03 April 2010 - 09:41 PM, said:

Not so much "weird" as "pathetic". Get a life, FFS!

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http://www.news.com....49377540?page=1

It's a gallery about all the hoo-ha over the launch of the iPad. What a wank.

Wow that looked like pictures from some enthusiastic cult.

[Tsundoku]

Another slightly off-topic one. Not so much "weird" as "curious".

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http://www.news.com....i-1225849623786

Highly-educated women drink the most

* From: NewsCore
* April 04, 2010 8:41PM

WOMEN who attend college drink more than their less-educated counterparts, according to a new study cited in the British newspaper The Sunday Telegraph.

The findings published by the London School of Economics reveal a high correlation between the level of education women receive and their amount of alcohol consumption.

Women with college degrees were almost twice as likely to drink daily, and also were more likely to admit to having a drinking problem.

The researchers tracked the lives of thousands of 39-year-old women and men, all born in the U.K. during the same week in 1970.

The men displayed a similar link between education level and drinking habits, although not as strong as the women studied.

"The better-educated appear to be the ones who engage the most in problematic patterns of alcohol consumption," the study concluded.

But simply attending college was not a reliable indicator of drinking patterns. The study suggests that students ranking at the top of their class were more susceptible to excessive drinking in adulthood.

Women who achieved "medium" or "high" test marks as schoolgirls are up to 2.1 times more likely to drink daily as adults, the research showed.

The authors of the report, Francesca Borgonovi and Maria Huerta, suggest several possible explanations as to why better-educated women drink more, including their tendency to have children later, postponing the responsibilities of parenthood.

----------------------------------------------

I think that covers most of the ladies on this forum ...

[Jusentantaka]

The same is so true over here too. Maybe not the numbers exactly, but the trend at least. For me though, it was more a stress & relax thing than anything about parenthood. Hell, I started drinking again while still breastfeeding - though I did take care to allow for the whole 'process and pass' bit so they didn't get drunk off of me - and still drink now, I just wait to get pissed until they're asleep and someone else other than the cat is here and soberish.

When they say 'drink daily' do they mean 'down a fifth of scotch and make a fort out of my comforter' or 'a glass of wine with dinner' though?

This post has been edited by Jusentantaka: 04 April 2010 - 04:35 PM

[Tsundoku]

I'm all for equal rights.

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http://www.news.com....0-1225850121971

Topless women protesters 'surprised, upset' as men show up with cameras

* From correspondents in Maine
* From: Fox US News
* April 05, 2010 11:41PM

DOZENS of women have walked topless through downtown Portland, in the US state of Maine, in order to bring attention to what they claim is a double standard when it comes to the public display of upper torsos.

Event organiser, Ty MacDowell, told myFOXmaine.com she set up Saturday's event - with a police escort - because she could.

Maine's nudity laws only apply to exposed genitals.

Ms MacDowell said she was surprised by the number of men who showed up with cameras.

"I'm really upset by the men … all the men that are here, just like watching it like it's a parade," she said.

"We should be able to walk down the street and not have this many men taking pictures of us," a participant shouted.

Some bystanders said they were upset at the spectacle on a sunny weekend in the historic city centre, saying children were present.

The walk went off without any problems and organisers said they expect to plan similar events in the future.

Read more about the topless women street protest in Portland at myFOXMaine

------------------------------------------

Seriously, what did they think was going to happen?

[Garak]

Now, what did those women think would happen? Have they forgotten how men react to the presence of tits? Also there were children there ......yes, I'm sure those kids have never seen their mom's breasts before and I'm sure breasts are a scary sight. I never understood this cover up the breasts lest children see them thing but it's ok if they see the five o'clock news which shows you how some guy got run over by a train or whatnot.

Also old news story that I saw on Tv a few years ago (so no link sadly but the news would in romanian at any rate). Anyway, some idiot had had enough of being woken in the morning by his rooster (it's in a village) so what does he decide to do? He decides to cut off it's head. So he takes a big knife, grabs the rooster, holds it still with his legs and he cuts. Somehow - I personally think the guy was roaring drunk - the rooster is unharmed but the moron managed to chop off his dick. Of course this raises all sorts of questions (like, was not wearing any pants?) which is why I think he was drunk. So drunk he mistook his dick for a rooster. Uhh, the utter stupidity. Truth be told this news report was just after a scandal where a doctor cut off a guy's penis (during surgery) because he got confused about what he was supposed to be operating on. After that incident the media insisted on giving us about two weeks of dick related injuries (most of them cut or torn off).

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Sombra, on 06 April 2010 - 03:26 AM, said:

Seriously, what did they think was going to happen?

That's basically my line of thinking. I admire their spirit, but it's terribly misguided. It's biological, for God's sake. Granted, perhaps the men could be less lewd but it was still going to happen.

[Gothos]

On one hand they want to show boobs. On the other hand they feel offended men want to look at them? Holy shit, that's some fridge logic.

[Tsundoku]

Abyss' spoon soon to be obsolete?

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http://www.news.com....0-1225851695990

Intel releases mind-reading software

* From correspondents in New York
* From: AP
* April 09, 2010 9:18AM


Honda dabbled with linking brain thoughts with robotics in 2009. Now Intel says it's achieved a '90 per cent strike rate' with reading minds / AP Source: AP

* Brain scans see what's on your mind
* Tests show 90 per cent accuracy
* Hope to help severely disabled

MIND-READING may no longer be the domain of psychics and fortune tellers - now some computers can do it.

Intel showcased some of its technological innovations yesterday in Manhattan.

Among the still-under-development projects was software that uses brain scans to determine what items people are thinking about.

The software analyses functional MRI scans to determine what parts of a person's brain is being activated as he or she thinks.

Intel Labs researcher Dean Pomerleau says that in tests, it guessed with 90 per cent accuracy which of two words a person was thinking about.

The technology could eventually help the severely physically disabled to communicate.

Mr Pomerleau also sees it as an early step toward being able to control technology with our minds.

---------------------------------------

Jim Butcher and SE beware the innocent looking moggy in the corner lugging a sparkly hat.

[Gothos]

nice, though I'd rather this shit never went mainstream. there's a tonne of trouble waiting to happen if people can read each other's minds. I for one wouldn't want to know. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss.

[Tsundoku]

Kind of sums it up, really.

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http://www.news.com....0-1225852134376

One iPod, one submarine - $96m damage

* By Neil Millard, The Sun
* From: NewsCore
* April 10, 2010 12:50PM

A US nuclear submarine rammed another ship causing nearly US$90million ($96.4 million) damage - while its navigator was listening to his iPod.

The Sun reports sailors aboard the USS Hartford had also rigged up loudspeakers so they could play music on duty.

Sonar operators and radio men were missing from their posts and others drove the attack sub while "with one hand on the controls and their shoes off", an official report said.

The report slammed the navigator, who was listening to his iPod in his cabin while revising for an exam at the time.

The captain, Commander Ryan Brookhart, was relieved of his duties after the US Navy found that more than 30 errors - including "an informal atmosphere" and "a weak command" - led to the "avoidable accident".

Fifteen sailors on the Hartford were injured when it hit the transport ship USS New Orleans in the Persian Gulf in March 2009.

Navy chiefs approved the huge $US87 million repair bill for the Hartford and another $US2.3 million for the New Orleans.

----------------------------------------------

Reminds me of that comedy skit about how "... there's never been a better time to join ... the Navy!", which unfortunately I cannot find.

[Dag]

Adrenaline addicts seek designer thrills

...For 900 euros ($1,226), clients of Ultime Realite ("Ultimate Reality"), a firm in eastern France, can buy a basic kidnap package where they're bundled away, bound and gagged, and kept incarcerated for four hours...

http://www.reuters.c...E61L4BI20100222

Someone apparently took "The Game" too seriously...

[Tapper]

Dag, on 12 April 2010 - 07:23 PM, said:

Adrenaline addicts seek designer thrills

...For 900 euros ($1,226), clients of Ultime Realite ("Ultimate Reality"), a firm in eastern France, can buy a basic kidnap package where they're bundled away, bound and gagged, and kept incarcerated for four hours...

http://www.reuters.c...E61L4BI20100222

Someone apparently took "The Game" too seriously...

That's an easy way to make money out of your cellar. Hell, get a few coffin sized boxes and you can even put multiple maniacs through their kick at the same time. Also, since the adrenaline rush apparently wears off after 11 hours of being bound, gagged and bundled up doing nothing, you can go to the movies, have a nap and cook and eat dinner between capture and release - and make a hefty profit in the meantime, too.

[Thelomen Toblerone]

That reminds me of a story I read where a woman wrote a "help me I've been kidnapped" style note, just so she had one prepared to drop int he event she ever was actually kidnapped.

Inevitably, she dropped the note out of her bag by mistake whilst out shopping, sparking a manhunt. Brilliant. I think it was in the States, and I may have read it in a Bill Bryson book....

[Tsundoku]

A double-shot today.

First up, perhaps the real reason for the Eject-felafel (or whatever the fuck it's called) eruption:

http://forum.malazan...ic=14637&st=120

Extramarital sex fuels earthquakes, warns Iran cleric

* From correspondents in Tehran
* From: AFP
* April 17, 2010 4:14PM

A SENIOR Iranian cleric has claimed that dolled-up women incite extramarital sex, causing more earthquakes in Iran, a country that straddles several fault lines, newspapers reported today.

"Many women who dress inappropriately ... cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes," Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at overnight prayers in Tehran.

"Calamities are the result of people's deeds," he was quoted as saying by reformist Aftab-e Yazd newspaper.

"We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers."

The Islamic dress code is mandatory in Iran, which has been under clerical rule for more than three decades.

Every post-pubescent woman regardless of her religion or nationality must cover her hair and bodily contours in public. Offenders face punishment and fine.

But this has not stopped urban women from appearing in the streets wearing tight coats and flimsy headscarves and layers of skilfully applied makeup.

Iran is prone to frequent quakes, many of which have been devastating.

The worst in recent times hit the southern city of Bam in December 2003, killing 31,000 people - about a quarter of the population - and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel.

--------------------------------------------

Second, Nintendo Wii is even better than you think:

http://www.news.com....0-1225854379626

Wii Fit fall 'made me sex addict'

* By staff writers
* From: news.com.au
* April 16, 2010 8:46AM

Wii balance board

Easy Tiger - you're in danger of becoming a sex addict. Picture: Rebecca Michael Source: Herald Sun

A woman claims falling from a Wii Fit board turned her into a nymphomaniac.

Amanda Flowers told the Daily Star she now needs up to 10 sex sessions a day after damaging a nerve in the fall.

She has been diagnosed with persistent genital arousal disorder, a condition which gained global attention when it featured in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy in 2008.

Ms Flowers, who lives in Manchester, said the urge to have sex was irresistible.

She said small vibrations from her mobile phone or food processor were enough to turn her on.

"It began as a twinge down below, before surging through my body," Ms Flowers told the Daily Star.

"Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm."

The single Ms Flowers said all she could do was try to control it with deep breathing, or "find a superstud who can satisfy me".

PGAD was first defined as "intense feelings of genital congestion and sensations that are typically unaccompanied by any conscious awareness of sexual desire" by US doctor Sandra Leiblum.

The former director of the Centre for Sexual and Relationship Health in New Jersey told FoxNews.com that sensations can last hours or even days, and they truly are unwanted and intrusive.

She said sexual activity can actually reinforce the sensations or provide only temporary relief.

----------------------------------------

In related news, 99% of married English women just went out and bought a Wii Fit set.

[Illuyankas]

Buy that woman a sybian before she breaks someone. Or send Brood at her.

[caladanbrood]

Yeah, that'll calm her down!