[Gust Hubb]

Granted, a non-alcoholic beer is handed to you promptly.

I wish I didn't have this half ass cold with slight stuffiness and coated throat sensation (and no, I don't want a raging case of genital herpes either for those thinking about giving me one).

[JPK]

Granted. It's a full-fledged flu in it's early stages. You will recover from it, but it will leave your immune system severely damaged for the rest of your life.

I wish I could get an advanced screening of the Dark Knight Rises.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

You do, but it's a hand-camera low-res shaky-ass bootleg.

I wish my dad's birthday wasn't St. Patrick's day so I could actually go out for it some year.

[tiam]

You do go out and take your dad with you who drinks you under the table and gets a birthday threesome with some Irish ladies...

I wish we had the Forge of Darkness prologue

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-tiam, on 17 March 2012 - 10:09 PM, said:

You do go out and take your dad with you who drinks you under the table and gets a birthday threesome with some Irish ladies...

I wish we had the Forge of Darkness prologue

Granted. You hold in your hands a hard copy of the FoD prologue, but you can't read no longer because the vicious bouts of venereal diseases which are affecting currently and in particular the readers of this thread have now destroyed your eye sight, and your hearing too. Oh, and your hands are falling off as well.

I wish the weekend only just started tonight.

This post has been edited by Miss Savage: 18 March 2012 - 09:14 PM

[tiam]

You get the weekend straight away but then you realise that your in that terrible Adam Sandler movie Click and commit suicide

I wish I didnt go out last night

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. Instead, you must go out the next eight nights, complete with stupid haircut and chronic drinker's droop.

I wish that I had more Arts classes.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted. Your schedule is now filled to the brim with Martial Arts, Art of Diplomacy, and the Art of Shoveling Dung. Enjoy (btw, Art of Shoveling Dung is a three year course that comes with a free case of flaming, agonizing herpes).

I wish my hands were never dirty or sticky.

[tiam]

Granted but then you cant furiously masturbate anymore

I wish I lived on my own

[rhulad]

Granted, you live alone in a microwave box in an alley.

I wish I had some breakfast on a plate on my desk at work. Preferably pancakes or waffles.

[Abyss]

rhulad, on 19 March 2012 - 02:18 PM, said:

I wish I had some breakfast on a plate on my desk at work. Preferably pancakes or waffles.

Granted. Just ignore the mould. And the brittleness. The the non-natural colour. And the grubs. Hey, grubs are protein, right? And everyone needs more protein...

I wish I had stayed in bed another hour this morning.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. But the legions of cockroaches that just moved into your house had the same notion. Ewwwww.

I wish I didn't have to leave for this concert so early...

[JPK]

Granted. The show was cancelled and replaced with An Evening With Nickelback.

I wish I had a six pack of woodchuck right now.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, but it seems a little bloody and hard to choke down with all that hair.

I wished the animated Gorillaz band existed in RL.

This post has been edited by Gust Hubb: 20 March 2012 - 10:06 AM

[Abyss]

Gust Hubb, on 20 March 2012 - 10:05 AM, said:

I wished the animated Gorillaz band existed in RL.

Granted, but the gorilla is sent to a zoo, the guys all look like refugees from a plastic surgery clinic gone horribly wrong, and Noodle is doing time for mass murder. Cool flying house tho'.

I wish i was still in bed.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 20 March 2012 - 11:40 AM, said:

Gust Hubb, on 20 March 2012 - 10:05 AM, said:

I wished the animated Gorillaz band existed in RL.

Granted, but the gorilla is sent to a zoo, the guys all look like refugees from a plastic surgery clinic gone horribly wrong, and Noodle is doing time for mass murder. Cool flying house tho'.

I wish i was still in bed.

Granted. You are, but not alone. The Jack is there with you.

I wish I was on holiday in the sun. Not fired.

[rhulad]

Granted, you are sent on a holiday in the sun. Unfortunately you died from the extreme heat inside the sun, or was it the pressure?

I wish I had my own personal, attractive, female barista who's only purpose in life was to make me extremely delicious cups of coffee.

[Abyss]

Granted. But the sexual tension is unbearable, especially when you're all hopped up on serious caffeine, and eventually you OD on double-espresso just to end your pain.

I wish this headache would go away and inflict itself on someone else.

[rhulad]

Granted, the headache is gone, it took your frontal lobe with it.

I wish I had a small, concealable death ray that I could use to kill people that bothered me.

[Abyss]

rhulad, on 20 March 2012 - 04:29 PM, said:

I wish I had a small, concealable death ray that I could use to kill people that bothered me.

Granted. And so begins your life long quest to wipe out telemarketers, panhandlers and people who talk during movies. Your crusade carries you far and wide across the reaches of the Earth, weilding your small concealable death ray in the cause of personal venegance upon all who bother you. Eventually forces rise up to challenge you, and others rally to your cause. You become a divisive figure, messiah and pariah in equal measure, the world knows your name and your every act is viewed with awe and suspicion. Sex, riches, fame, and more sex... nothing is beyond your reach. And then you wake up and realize the first person you tried to death ray got the drop on you, knocked you flat on your ass and stepped on the ray, breaking it.

I wish my lunch was more interesting.