[Stradivarius]

your gf gets naked only for you to realise she's a man!!!

i wish i didn't have to work 18 hours a day!

[masan's saddle]

Stradivarius, on Mar 20 2009, 09:45 PM, said:

your gf gets naked only for you to realise she's a man!!!

i wish i didn't have to work 18 hours a day!

You don't have to work 18 hrs a day, so you stop. Unfortunatley your inactivity leaves you with an overdeveloped right arm, everyone knows what this means and you are so embarrassed you take your favourite, Flossy, and disappear into the hills.

I wish my mutt would stop doing sneaky poops in the kitchen.

[Darkwatch]

masan's saddle, on Mar 20 2009, 06:18 PM, said:

I wish my mutt would stop doing sneaky poops in the kitchen.

He stops, and dies of constipation

I wish I could go to the moon.

[masan's saddle]

Darkwatch, on Mar 20 2009, 10:21 PM, said:

masan's saddle, on Mar 20 2009, 06:18 PM, said:

I wish my mutt would stop doing sneaky poops in the kitchen.

He stops, and dies of constipation

I wish I could go to the moon.

You go to the moon, unfortunatley it is actually made of cheese. Your retro burners melt it on landing and you disappear into the cheesy gloop, which then solidifies instantly encasing you in the cheese moon forever.

I wish my nobhead staff would stop ringing me when i'm outa work.

[frookenhauer]

they stop ringing you and start ringing your mum instead...

I wish for a hundred camels for my first daughter

[masan's saddle]

You get a hundred camels, but they come from Josef Fritzl's long lost beduoin cousin. Your daughter's future happiness is now in doubt.

I wish girls would actually encourage me to stare at their baps.

[frookenhauer]

they do...but you are struck blind and its all for naught!

I wish for pangaea to happen again

[Mentalist]

it does

unfortunately, all of UK is levelled when the Appalachians reattach themselves to the Scandinavian peninsula.

i wish for a beer bottle that would never become empty.

[frookenhauer]

you get the bottle that never empties itself...but what you don't know is that the bottle is plotting ways to kill you. when it finally gets you into a small room on your own it starts to overflow and stands between you and the door. pretty soon you are swimming in beer and then the beer envelopes you and you die. Moral of the story?

I wish for my passat to be repaired and outside my house sharpish cos I'm getting extremely unfond of crappy fiesta courtesy car jobby

[Slow Ben]

You realize you own a car called a Passat.

I wish i had super powers.

[Mentalist]

Frookenhauer, on Mar 20 2009, 08:51 PM, said:

you get the bottle that never empties itself...but what you don't know is that the bottle is plotting ways to kill you. when it finally gets you into a small room on your own it starts to overflow and stands between you and the door. pretty soon you are swimming in beer and then the beer envelopes you and you die. Moral of the story?

I wish for my passat to be repaired and outside my house sharpish cos I'm getting extremely unfond of crappy fiesta courtesy car jobby

drink more beer?

@ SB:

you have the power to always guess the last two numbers of the PIN code on any bank card.

I wish things were less expensive.

[frookenhauer]

you get your super powers....they're rubbish: you can leap small molehills and are impervious to spitballs , but you also get a major weakness...you are afraid of dustmites...so they have to put you in a fully sterile room and pretty much lock you away. Nice.

I wish for an army of small people to start doing all my paperwork...ooompa loomaps would work

[frookenhauer]

dammit crosspost....

stuff gets less expensive but you remain broke cos you get the sack

I wish for an army of small people to start doing all my paperwork...ooompa loompas would work

This post has been edited by Frookenhauer : 21 March 2009 - 01:00 AM

[Slow Ben]

You get your small army, but grow insane on power and eventually a revolt is started in your living room. Eventually leading to the destruction of you computer.

I wish I had a bottle of whiskey.

[Mentalist]

You have a bottle of whiskey

it's empty.

I wish I could learn any language I wanted to.

[Slow Ben]

You are given this ability, but use it so often your tongue becomes permanently tied and you can only speak in pig latin for the rest of your days.

I wish it was football season.

[Sixty]

It is, but the patriots go 19-0 and whichever team you root for goes 0-16.

I wish that could actually happen (the first part at least).

[Ain't_It_Just_]

It happens...but then you find out the whole team was on gene catalysts.

I wish I had a margherita pizza.

[Slow Ben]

I make you your pizza, but not knowing what margherita is, i make you a margarita pizza and its too soggy to eat.

I wish my pot of coffee wasnt empty.

[frookenhauer]

Its now half full, but I sealed the top and you aint getttin any

I wish for Zarathustra to speak again.