Malazan Empire: The corrupt a wish game. - Malazan Empire

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The corrupt a wish game.

#121 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 03 February 2009 - 09:08 PM

Amazingly enough you get a job as an astronaut and on a mission to the moon the spacecraft malfunctions and jettisons all available fuel and also the only female astronaut. On the long one way trip to outerspace you and the guys discover the, ahem, joys of gay sex and eventually the air runs out and you die screaming, but in space no one can hear you scream, so its a bit pointless.

I wish I could have mastery over everyone, everywhere, everywhen.
souls are for wimps
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#122 User is offline   Sixty 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 01:09 AM

You get your mastery...over the function of their appendices.

I wish I had more time.
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#123 User is offline   Shinrei 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 01:13 AM

You are struck on the head by a falling pot, and while in your coma your mind feels each passing second like it were an eternity. You go insane.

I wish that my body and mind (faculties) remain in perfect health up until my death at age 116.
You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.
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#124 User is offline   Sir Thursday 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 01:15 AM

View PostShinrei no Shintai, on Feb 4 2009, 01:13 AM, said:

You are struck on the head by a falling pot, and while in your coma your mind feels each passing second like it were an eternity. You go insane.

I wish that my body and mind (faculties) remain in perfect health up until my death at age 116.


You are placed in a stasis pod that keeps you in perfect health but completely immobile and deprived of all sensation until the age of 116, when you are taken out and executed.

I wish I owned a lightsabre and possessed the skills necessary to wield one properly.
Don't look now, but I think there's something weird attached to the bottom of my posts.
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#125 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 01:29 AM

You have all the skillz necessary and your beloved lightsaber is just out of reach...1mm away from your hand which, due to the fact that you are paralyzed from a force lightening duel we had just this morning, makes you want to commit suicide, but you are paralyzed and cannot follow through...which is something you can look forward to every day, because you have no control over those pesky bowel movements :p

I wish for sunshine on a rainy day
souls are for wimps
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#126 User is offline   Shinrei 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 02:22 AM

The sun is shining off in the distance, but the rain seems to follow you wherever you go. You're busy railing against the unfairness of it when the bus hits you.


I wish to be able to watch the Green Bay Packers become the dominant NFL team over the next 2 decades, winning the majority of the Super Bowls in that time.
You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.
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#127 User is offline   Sixty 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 02:49 AM

They do, but on the last day of the last year of those two decades a huge scandal involving robot players, roids, hedged games, betting, paid prostitutes the night before the super bowl, chris hansen, and accidently shooting oneself in the leg is revealed and every title is revoked. Said titles are all granted to the Chicago Bears.

I wish my wrist/lower arm would stop hurting. (badminton for all you dirty minds out there, you know who you are)

This post has been edited by Sixty: 04 February 2009 - 02:50 AM

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#128 User is offline   Shinrei 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 03:46 AM

(The Chicago Bears???? That's horrendous.)

The only cure is amputation. You try to avoid the procedure, and manage to delay the amputation for several months. Unfortunately the wish you made is binding and will not allow you to prevent it. The pain gets worse and worse and begins to spread throughout your body. Finally in desperation, you have your arm amputated. It's too late however, and the pain continues to spread throughout your body and you live in agony (and with only 1 arm) for the rest of your life.

I wish for a free round trip airline ticket anywhere in the world.
You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.
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#129 User is offline   Sinisdar Toste 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 04:07 AM

you get a ticket to Anywhere In The World, Antartica and promptly freeze to death.

i wish i had a jet pack!
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

- Oscar Levant
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#130 User is offline   Stalker 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 04:13 AM

You get a jetpack and happily fly, for a time, until the one day when you forget to refuel it. At 10,000 ft, you run out of fuel and darkness comes upon you.

I wish I was fast, like a cheetah.
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#131 User is offline   Darkwatch 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 04:18 AM

View PostStalker, on Feb 3 2009, 11:13 PM, said:

You get a jetpack and happily fly, for a time, until the one day when you forget to refuel it. At 10,000 ft, you run out of fuel and darkness comes upon you.

I wish I was fast, like a cheetah.



Granted. You don't see the cliff.



I wish for nothingness.

This post has been edited by Darkwatch: 04 February 2009 - 04:18 AM

The Pub is Always Open

Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.

The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist

Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος

RodeoRanch said:

You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
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#132 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 06:37 AM

Granted, but then SOMETHING comes along.

I wish I had a giant iced donut in my backyard.
Suck it Errant!


"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.


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#133 User is offline   beru 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 07:50 AM

you get one falling from the sky, you randlomly walk into your backyard at the same time...

i wish for a pc that do my homework
i want to see this world where T'lan imass kneels
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#134 User is offline   Battalion 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 09:19 AM

It does your homework, but also downloads copious amounts of child porn and then e-mails the authorities. You spend the rest of your life without any acidemic qualifications, trapped in a 4x4 cell with a bloke named Tracy.

I wish I could remember everthing that I have every seen or done, right down to every single work I've ever written or read.

This post has been edited by Battalion: 04 February 2009 - 09:19 AM

Get to the chopper!
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#135 User is offline   beru 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 09:26 AM

you do and then get lost in your own memory...

(and i live in norway... max sentence is 21 years and no death penalty)

i wish for summer
i want to see this world where T'lan imass kneels
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#136 User is offline   dktorode 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 09:52 AM

Summer Arrives, unfortunately the sudden switch in climate fucks up the earths weather system triggering an Ice age. You selfish bastard. :p

I wish for my sunburn to go away.
...┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐...

Why dont they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?
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#137 User is offline   Sir Thursday 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 10:02 AM

View Postdktorode, on Feb 4 2009, 09:52 AM, said:

I wish for my sunburn to go away.


They peel off your skin, ridding you of your sunburn.

I wish I could get up in the morning without feeling tired.
Don't look now, but I think there's something weird attached to the bottom of my posts.
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#138 User is offline   Bauchelain the Evil 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 02:09 PM

You wake up paralysed. You feel nothing.

I wish I could do everything
Adept of Team Quick Ben

I greet you as guests and so will not crush the life from you and devour your soul with peals of laughter. No, instead, I will make tea-Gothos
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#139 User is offline   Lisheo 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 02:26 PM

View PostBauchelain the Evil, on Feb 4 2009, 02:09 PM, said:

You wake up paralysed. You feel nothing.

I wish I could do everything

You can. And for some strange reason you first choose to wrestle a bear.
He wins.

I wish I had a roflskykeep.
“People have wanted to narrate since first we banged rocks together & wondered about fire. There’ll be tellings as long as there are any of us here, until the stars disappear one by one like turned-out lights.”
- China Mieville
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#140 User is offline   Bauchelain the Evil 

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Posted 04 February 2009 - 02:37 PM

You gain one. Aa;s the guy who strangely sold it to you for only 1$ had stolen it from a bunch of angry KCCM who track you down and, as you realize the instruction you have to start the skykeep aren't correct, they dismember you.

I wish magic existed and I was the greatest wizard of all time.
Adept of Team Quick Ben

I greet you as guests and so will not crush the life from you and devour your soul with peals of laughter. No, instead, I will make tea-Gothos
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