Down with Dassem!
1- Dassem didn't beat Rake. It'd be the same thing as Dassem killing a man who's holding a milliom ton weight and wants to die.
2- Dassem couldn't kill Icarium. No offence, but Cotillion could kill Dassem, he has been described as the most deadly man in the Malaz Empire, unlike Dassword Swordtor who basically killed people while being defended by his own personal army. And we all know that Icarium could fu' yo' shi' up.
3- Cus he's pissed at the God of Death? He can get in line with the Jaghut, the Eleint, and everybody else. Except unlike the Jaghut, he didn't win.

4- Cus Tiste likes his DEAD daughter, who we have NEVER seen, other than being a CORPSE in the Azath.
5- So he spent a few years in the Deadhouse as an antiaging treatment. So did Whiskeyjack, Duiker, Ameron, Surly, and the rest. Doesn't exactly make him special.
6-Hood could swat him like a fly, but he doesn't want him messing up the gaff trying to be cule with his swords.
7-If Skinner hadn't been busy gloating, he could have sworded Dassem up, we all know this. A throat wound doesn't kill an Avowed anyway. Tough luck if he has invincible armour as an advantage, Dassem had an advantage in which RAKE WANTED TO DIE.
8-Torvald Nom don't cry.
9-Karsa has no friends. Only people which he kills and people which he doesn't want to kill just yet.
10- Let's not brick around here, Whiskeyjack was a tactician. As was Duiker, and Coltaine. Dassword Swordtor, you must recall, while setting up the Malazan Empire, had several thousand undead soldiers to back him up if shit went whack.
"*whispers* ah, shit, we're losing* T'lan Imass!"
"Great job, FS!"
That doesnt count as being a military mind. That counts as using the God Mode cheat.
11-He is using the sword Rake made as a kid and thought later was a little shit so he swapped for something better.
12- Brys, the Segulah First, Rake, and quite possibly Icarium could all hand his ass to him on a plate. Im fairly sure Rhulad could have to. (Dassem would have been so busy crying he'd just have gotten more confused when he saw Rhulad come back frm the dead).
13- He's the Lord of Tragedy. And thus, always carries a copy of Romeo and Juliet and probably some Stephanie Meyer around with him, to fuel his desire to be a teenage girl.
Laster Lycaon Lisheo, stalwart supporter of Illuyankas, Lord of Comedy.