[Maark Abbott]

 QuickTidal, on 09 April 2025 - 12:38 PM, said:

FFS it's NOT a real dire wolf.


It's so annoying to see it presented as that.


10k year old direwolf DNA is crumbly bits at this point...so they've used a CRISPER-CAS9 to present a decent model to fill-in the gaps, and create an embryo and implanted it into a normal wolf mother to bring to term. It is a best guess direwolf from crumbly bits of DNA still around 10k years later, and an algorithm guessing at the rest.


Make no mistake, it's a wonder of science...but it's not a fucking extinct animal brought back to life. It's not like direwolf DNA was hanging out mostly complete inside amber like in JP...the way it's being presented in the media enrages me.

Sorry, but I got a reclining, sexy man with an open shirt and a penchant for upsetting billionaires who says that life, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, finds a way.

[QuickTidal]

The economy is on fire, people are being snatched off the streets in the US with zero due process and disappeared, The US President is ignoring the supreme court (in a 9-0 ruling) and no one is stopping him, US social safety nets are being eviscerated to give billionaires more money and then these influencer fuckers are paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to take an 11 minute fake space ride from a billionaire that's sold out American democracy so Katy Perry can experience some kind of "love" while dumping a ton of pollution into the environment.


I can't even begin to express my rage.

[Tsundoku]

Pope Francis has passed. A pity, for as far as those guys go he was one of the better ones. I do like how he confounded the arch-conservatives and corrupt bastards in the Catholic Church for a lot longer than they had anticipated when they elected him to be the popular guy to make them look good, but was only supposed to last a short while before they could then install another creature of the Curia and back to business as usual.

https://www.news.com...da4d8ec79311907

Who are the frontrunners?

Here's a couple of lists:

https://www.newsweek...runners-2035569

https://en.tempo.co/...or-pope-francis

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 21 April 2025 - 08:25 AM

[Tiste Simeon]

His last visitor was JD Vance, whom he basically told off for being, well, who he is...

[Tsundoku]

Well, Vance is a walking disease so ...

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Tsundoku, on 21 April 2025 - 08:19 AM, said:

Pope Francis has passed. A pity, for as far as those guys go he was one of the better ones. I do like how he confounded the arch-conservatives and corrupt bastards in the Catholic Church for a lot longer than they had anticipated when they elected him to be the popular guy to make them look good, but was only supposed to last a short while before they could then install another creature of the Curia and back to business as usual.

https://www.news.com...da4d8ec79311907

Who are the frontrunners?

Here's a couple of lists:

https://www.newsweek...runners-2035569

https://en.tempo.co/...or-pope-francis

Quote

But what was Trump's judgement on the life of the recently departed Pope Francis? Flanked by the First Lady and the Easter Bunny on the balcony, Trump told the audience the Pope was a "good man, worked hard – he loved the world". Trump then walked down the stairs, stopped and turned to salute the Easter Bunny.

[...] Pope Francis directly attacked the administration. He criticised Trump's mass deportations as "damag[ing] the dignity of many men and women" and warned against the idea that the "will of the strongest [was] the criterion of truth".

[...] "We are bringing religion back!" Trump announced from the White House balcony on Easter Monday.

[... Many of] his followers worship him – and even think he was saved by God when he was shot in Pennsylvania during the campaign

https://www.newstate...gy-pope-francis

Though I'd imagine the number of Americans who believe he was saved by Go* is larger than the number of people who worship him (perhaps depending on how "worship" is defined).

Trump at that same Easter event (Trump is on the far right):

Spoiler

... showing young children a collectable card with a photo of him raising his fist after having been shot in the ear.

Wonder how much he's asking them for it...

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 22 April 2025 - 05:35 PM

[Maark Abbott]

Tiste Simeon, on 21 April 2025 - 12:19 PM, said:

His last visitor was JD Vance, whom he basically told off for being, well, who he is...

Meets JD Vance, immediately dies of cringe

I mean, same tbh

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

My elderly mother is a hoarder, and my elderly father is a pyromaniac... and the electrical wiring in their house is failing. I'll be moving in with them in a few months.

(spoilered for length)

Spoiler

Or at least he used to be a mild pyromaniac---I'm hoping he's largely mellowed out of it. He's traded bomb-making for chess as his obsession. But there are still some combustible materials from his old bomb-making days scattered around the house. Near where I'd sleep. Going to have to figure out how to discard them. Or persuade him to blow them up one final time, along with all the fireworks stored near where I'll be sleeping.

As for my mother... she'd kept using the excuse that she didn't have enough energy to clean. So the last time I visited I was ready and eager to help. She'd suggested filling the room I slept in as a baby and a young child with stuff---but it already has stuff scattered all over the room and all across the floor. Including what looks like obvious literal garbage. For example, I picked a small empty paper bag off the floor... she said, no, don't throw that away, I reuse those! And near it on the floor I saw another small paper bag with many more small paper bags stuffed inside. There was also part of a page from a magazine, torn in multiple places, curled up on the floor---of course that was something important for her, though she couldn't remember why. Then I picked up what was literally just a small blank piece of paper (also on the floor). "We can definitely get rid of this right?" Her: "No I might use that!" Near that on the floor was another blank piece of paper that was also twisted and torn. I picked it up and said, "What about this one?" Her: "Now you're just tormenting me." Me: "No, I really think we should get rid of that, we have plenty of blank pieces of paper" (and indeed we do).

She grew up in a poor rural area and she claims that her mother was very diligent about throwing things away and this traumatized her. Some stuff she wanted to keep got thrown away. I'm not sure how poor they really were, both her parents worked, they owned a two-story house with a pool table and multiple bedrooms, and she had a pony and a whole bunch of pets, so I doubt they ran out of things like blank sheets of paper.

She realizes it's a pathological issue but she seems reluctant to work through it. Even though she used to teach psychiatric nursing and she has some training in cognitive behavioral therapy. But she says she's making an effort to clean and organize. Still, I found it distressing to see how distressed she became at the suggestion of throwing away a torn crumpled piece of blank paper that was just on the floor.

OTOH I could partly relate when she insisted on having me look through my old toys to determine whether any might be valuable enough to be worth selling and which ones children might still want (to donate to charity)---though for me I'd be fine with getting rid of them all, I just didn't relish remembering having enjoyed them and then selling them or giving them away. But my mother's the sort who likes looking at old family photos and such (IDGAF about such things, generally). Maybe she wanted me to feel grateful for all the toys I got---granted, a lot (maybe most) of those were actually from my grandparents, but yes I got a lot of toys, and I'm sure I enjoyed some of them, though I also recall that as an only child in a neighborhood with no nearby children it took me a while to become accustomed to solitude, especially since my parents refused to get a pet. And my father was physically and emotionally abusive and enjoyed terrorizing me (I've forgiven him, and he's become much less sadistic---I think of it as more like a combination mental disorder and toxic worldview he's largely grown out of), while my mother was dealing with undiagnosed iron deficiency and extreme fatigue for years, so it really wasn't much of a happy childhood.

She also read some newspaper article about some old toys being valuable. So I looked into it. Looks like most of the toys that are worth more than $10 when not in the original packaging are either from about 5-10 years before I started getting them or rare releases that I almost certainly didn't get. Still I have dozens of hotwheels, Masters of the Universe, GI Joe, Thundercats stuff. Apparently all very "well-played with" and so generally unlikely to be worth more than $10 to at most $25 for the figures. Though some of these figures and playsets have many little accessories that most people lose---so if my hoarder mother kept all those and I can find and assemble them they might be worth a bit of money, though not like thousands of dollars for the figures. For the playsets, an incomplete version of one I have did sell for like $300 on eBay, but I'm missing a lot of components and the thing is significantly longer and wider than most children. Plus none of us have ever sold anything on eBay and I don't want to hazard covid going into UPS to ship stuff.

So I was sitting out in the garage, with the garage door open, going through my old toys, photographing them and using Google Image search to check how much they're being sold for on eBay and how much they've actually sold for an eBay. And my mother also wanted me to put stuff I don't think children would want to play with into a separate pile. Well lo and behold she examined that pile and declared like a true hoarder that every random piece of plastic and messed-up looking or extremely boring toy was actually something that a poor child might love to play with. After she had asked me to use my own judgment about which of them children might actually want to play with. So now she says she'll do it. But she believes she can't learn how to use the internet and isn't really interested in learning so she's not going to look up whether anything might be valuable.

However, I did go through everything that was still in the original packaging---thankfully very little to go through, but did find an old Ninja Gaiden game watch (looks like I was given two of them and never bothered opening or regifting the second one) that sold on eBay for a few thousand. But no doubt it's much harder for a brand new eBay seller to sell something expensive, once I get around to it I should start small---but no rush I think (well, aside from the United States collapsing, I guess...). Will the unopened Ninja Gaiden watch be much more valuable in fifty years? Probably? Maybe?

I had actually wanted to start with my grandmother's old medical books, which my mother brought back for some reason (though they were my father's mother's and my mother wasn't close with her). Granted, my grandmother was a psychoanalyst and the books on psychoanalysis and other psychological pseudoscience might have some monetary value or scholarly interest but the other medical books are just out of date and not old enough to be of scholarly, educational, or monetary value. And there are a lot of them so it seemed like a quick and easy way to clear space. But no, my mother was set on doing toys first so she insisted I do that. And then she decided that since the veterans' group that comes around to take donations accepts books we should donate those old medical books instead. My father and I tried to explain to her that no one should really want those out of date medical books but that didn't seem to be getting through her pathological hoarder brain. I'm not sure they'll even accept them... and if they do most likely they won't bother separating the recyclable paper from the hardbacks and will just toss them in the trash.

Took a quick glance through my old AD&D book collection and was pleased to see a few of my old second edition books that appear to be in good condition might be worth $50 to a few hundred dollars. Then again even if they look okay on the outside I probably wrote in them so maybe not.

Oh, I left out some of the worst parts... my father is much more unsanitary that I realized. The toilet in his bedroom kept clogging so he's been using a sanitary bucket for the toilet paper. I'd assumed it was some sort of sealed contraption but no, it's just open to the air. No lid or he leaves it open (according to my mother). And when I went to put my backpack on the backseat of his car... it was completely covered in used kleenex. I offered to remove them for him, but he claimed he'll do it.

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 23 April 2025 - 02:37 PM

[Tiste Simeon]

Maark Abbott, on 23 April 2025 - 11:28 AM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 21 April 2025 - 12:19 PM, said:

His last visitor was JD Vance, whom he basically told off for being, well, who he is...

Meets JD Vance, immediately dies of cringe

I mean, same tbh

Yeah can't blame him. Same with QEII and Truss!

[amphibian]

Azath Vitr (D, on 23 April 2025 - 12:09 PM, said:

My elderly mother is a hoarder, and my elderly father is a pyromaniac... and the electrical wiring in their house is failing. I'll be moving in with them in a few months.

(spoilered for length)

Spoiler

Or at least he used to be a mild pyromaniac---I'm hoping he's largely mellowed out of it. He's traded bomb-making for chess as his obsession. But there are still some combustible materials from his old bomb-making days scattered around the house. Near where I'd sleep. Going to have to figure out how to discard them. Or persuade him to blow them up one final time, along with all the fireworks stored near where I'll be sleeping.

As for my mother... she'd kept using the excuse that she didn't have enough energy to clean. So the last time I visited I was ready and eager to help. She'd suggested filling the room I slept in as a baby and a young child with stuff---but it already has stuff scattered all over the room and all across the floor. Including what looks like obvious literal garbage. For example, I picked a small empty paper bag off the floor... she said, no, don't throw that away, I reuse those! And near it on the floor I saw another small paper bag with many more small paper bags stuffed inside. There was also part of a page from a magazine, torn in multiple places, curled up on the floor---of course that was something important for her, though she couldn't remember why. Then I picked up what was literally just a small blank piece of paper (also on the floor). "We can definitely get rid of this right?" Her: "No I might use that!" Near that on the floor was another blank piece of paper that was also twisted and torn. I picked it up and said, "What about this one?" Her: "Now you're just tormenting me." Me: "No, I really think we should get rid of that, we have plenty of blank pieces of paper" (and indeed we do).

She grew up in a poor rural area and she claims that her mother was very diligent about throwing things away and this traumatized her. Some stuff she wanted to keep got thrown away. I'm not sure how poor they really were, both her parents worked, they owned a two-story house with a pool table and multiple bedrooms, and she had a pony and a whole bunch of pets, so I doubt they ran out of things like blank sheets of paper.

She realizes it's a pathological issue but she seems reluctant to work through it. Even though she used to teach psychiatric nursing and she has some training in cognitive behavioral therapy. But she says she's making an effort to clean and organize. Still, I found it distressing to see how distressed she became at the suggestion of throwing away a torn crumpled piece of blank paper that was just on the floor.

OTOH I could partly relate when she insisted on having me look through my old toys to determine whether any might be valuable enough to be worth selling and which ones children might still want (to donate to charity)---though for me I'd be fine with getting rid of them all, I just didn't relish remembering having enjoyed them and then selling them or giving them away. But my mother's the sort who likes looking at old family photos and such (IDGAF about such things, generally). Maybe she wanted me to feel grateful for all the toys I got---granted, a lot (maybe most) of those were actually from my grandparents, but yes I got a lot of toys, and I'm sure I enjoyed some of them, though I also recall that as an only child in a neighborhood with no nearby children it took me a while to become accustomed to solitude, especially since my parents refused to get a pet. And my father was physically and emotionally abusive and enjoyed terrorizing me (I've forgiven him, and he's become much less sadistic---I think of it as more like a combination mental disorder and toxic worldview he's largely grown out of), while my mother was dealing with undiagnosed iron deficiency and extreme fatigue for years, so it really wasn't much of a happy childhood.

She also read some newspaper article about some old toys being valuable. So I looked into it. Looks like most of the toys that are worth more than $10 when not in the original packaging are either from about 5-10 years before I started getting them or rare releases that I almost certainly didn't get. Still I have dozens of hotwheels, Masters of the Universe, GI Joe, Thundercats stuff. Apparently all very "well-played with" and so generally unlikely to be worth more than $10 to at most $25 for the figures. Though some of these figures and playsets have many little accessories that most people lose---so if my hoarder mother kept all those and I can find and assemble them they might be worth a bit of money, though not like thousands of dollars for the figures. For the playsets, an incomplete version of one I have did sell for like $300 on eBay, but I'm missing a lot of components and the thing is significantly longer and wider than most children. Plus none of us have ever sold anything on eBay and I don't want to hazard covid going into UPS to ship stuff.

So I was sitting out in the garage, with the garage door open, going through my old toys, photographing them and using Google Image search to check how much they're being sold for on eBay and how much they've actually sold for an eBay. And my mother also wanted me to put stuff I don't think children would want to play with into a separate pile. Well lo and behold she examined that pile and declared like a true hoarder that every random piece of plastic and messed-up looking or extremely boring toy was actually something that a poor child might love to play with. After she had asked me to use my own judgment about which of them children might actually want to play with. So now she says she'll do it. But she believes she can't learn how to use the internet and isn't really interested in learning so she's not going to look up whether anything might be valuable.

However, I did go through everything that was still in the original packaging---thankfully very little to go through, but did find an old Ninja Gaiden game watch (looks like I was given two of them and never bothered opening or regifting the second one) that sold on eBay for a few thousand. But no doubt it's much harder for a brand new eBay seller to sell something expensive, once I get around to it I should start small---but no rush I think (well, aside from the United States collapsing, I guess...). Will the unopened Ninja Gaiden watch be much more valuable in fifty years? Probably? Maybe?

I had actually wanted to start with my grandmother's old medical books, which my mother brought back for some reason (though they were my father's mother's and my mother wasn't close with her). Granted, my grandmother was a psychoanalyst and the books on psychoanalysis and other psychological pseudoscience might have some monetary value or scholarly interest but the other medical books are just out of date and not old enough to be of scholarly, educational, or monetary value. And there are a lot of them so it seemed like a quick and easy way to clear space. But no, my mother was set on doing toys first so she insisted I do that. And then she decided that since the veterans' group that comes around to take donations accepts books we should donate those old medical books instead. My father and I tried to explain to her that no one should really want those out of date medical books but that didn't seem to be getting through her pathological hoarder brain. I'm not sure they'll even accept them... and if they do most likely they won't bother separating the recyclable paper from the hardbacks and will just toss them in the trash.

Took a quick glance through my old AD&D book collection and was pleased to see a few of my old second edition books that appear to be in good condition might be worth $50 to a few hundred dollars. Then again even if they look okay on the outside I probably wrote in them so maybe not.

Oh, I left out some of the worst parts... my father is much more unsanitary that I realized. The toilet in his bedroom kept clogging so he's been using a sanitary bucket for the toilet paper. I'd assumed it was some sort of sealed contraption but no, it's just open to the air. No lid or he leaves it open (according to my mother). And when I went to put my backpack on the backseat of his car... it was completely covered in used kleenex. I offered to remove them for him, but he claimed he'll do it.

Your parents are metaphorically inches away from being unable to care for themselves. Hoarding is often driven by extremely high anxiety and is a massive problem to tackle by itself. The poop and snot tissues, plus the clogged toilets are a sign of inability to problem solve that comes right before a horrible accident and/or a diagnosis of dementia.

I realize what I am saying sounds very alarming - it is. Dramatic actions are needed to make a place that is safe for them and if you are dead set to move in, for you. As things stand, I am unsure if you all are going to be safe living there.

I would do everything in your power to either Marie Kondo your parents' house (put everything in a pile in the center of a room to remove the "stored" emotional context with normal placement of an item and then work to throw out almost everything. The Kondo method specifically works well with hoarders because there's no logic to saving everything or the storage of it. It is pure raw anxiety that gets briefly assuaged by "no change" and "accumulation of resources", which of course drive anxiety even higher because the rooms get fuller and fuller while the ability to do anything gets smaller and smaller.

I urge you to figure out what's happening with the toilet and get your father to a doctor for evaluation. If a handyman can take a look at it, I promise it won't be the worst thing they've ever seen. Huge quality of life improvement is right there for the taking.

As things stand, I don't think I would move in. I would be extremely wary of one or both of them falling or getting ill enough to be hospitalized for a long term, then moved to a nursing home.

[Cause]

QuickTidal, on 09 April 2025 - 04:23 PM, said:

Considering Trump's economic guy Peter Navarro has been discovered to be citing a "great economist" named Ron Vara...which is just an anagram of his last name...he's referencing himself as the great Tariff mind....and wasnt he in jail for a time too? I'm not at all surprised that THIS is the guy who came up with all this shit and hasn't thought it through at all.

NO!

Seriously???

No! I wont believe this is true. It cant be.

[Tiste Simeon]

Cause, on 23 April 2025 - 05:03 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 09 April 2025 - 04:23 PM, said:

Considering Trump's economic guy Peter Navarro has been discovered to be citing a "great economist" named Ron Vara...which is just an anagram of his last name...he's referencing himself as the great Tariff mind....and wasnt he in jail for a time too? I'm not at all surprised that THIS is the guy who came up with all this shit and hasn't thought it through at all.

NO!

Seriously???

No! I wont believe this is true. It cant be.

Watch this: https://www.instagra...nI0d2wxZjZuc3U1

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

amphibian, on 23 April 2025 - 04:26 PM, said:

Your parents are metaphorically inches away from being unable to care for themselves. Hoarding is often driven by extremely high anxiety and is a massive problem to tackle by itself. The poop and snot tissues, plus the clogged toilets are a sign of inability to problem solve that comes right before a horrible accident and/or a diagnosis of dementia.

I realize what I am saying sounds very alarming - it is. Dramatic actions are needed to make a place that is safe for them and if you are dead set to move in, for you. As things stand, I am unsure if you all are going to be safe living there.

I would do everything in your power to either Marie Kondo your parents' house (put everything in a pile in the center of a room to remove the "stored" emotional context with normal placement of an item and then work to throw out almost everything. The Kondo method specifically works well with hoarders because there's no logic to saving everything or the storage of it. It is pure raw anxiety that gets briefly assuaged by "no change" and "accumulation of resources", which of course drive anxiety even higher because the rooms get fuller and fuller while the ability to do anything gets smaller and smaller.

I urge you to figure out what's happening with the toilet and get your father to a doctor for evaluation. If a handyman can take a look at it, I promise it won't be the worst thing they've ever seen. Huge quality of life improvement is right there for the taking.

As things stand, I don't think I would move in. I would be extremely wary of one or both of them falling or getting ill enough to be hospitalized for a long term, then moved to a nursing home.

For them it's not a huge change from how they've been for as long as I can remember. My father's always had minimal regard for sanitation (lax about things like discarding used tissues, washing his hands before eating with them, leaving trash on the floor, etc.) and my mother's been adverse to throwing things away (and blaming it on her mother, even back when I was a child iirc). She's apparently still capable of cleaning a room when workpeople need to enter, as they did to fix a leak a few months ago... right by where I plan on sleeping incidentally.

My mother is rightly concerned about covid and so wanted to wait until the weather got warmer and covid cases are close to their spring nadir to have more workpeople in---that way they can also open up the windows and run fans for better air circulation. The kitchen sink is also partly clogged---water goes down but it takes a while to drain. My father's still able to unclog his toilet with a plunger but I remember it being a pretty crap low-powered toilet that easily clogs, so his decision to toss the paper in a sanitary bin while waiting to get a plumber to fix or replace the toilet isn't all that shocking. But not using a tightly sealed lid on the bin is pretty bad even for him. If there were flies or bugs crawling out of it I'd be really concerned about him getting sick from it, but as is it's just gross. At one point I mentioned to my mother that after the plumber fixed the sink he could deal with the issue upstairs---and she said, "What issue?" And I was like, my father's toilet... and she said, "He seems to be fine with it." Now that shocked me. That's when I asked, "Are you sure about that? Does it at least have a tightly sealed lid?" And according to her it's just open. Later I asked him about it---in a nonjudgmental tone---and he was very adamant about wanting to get the toilet fixed, to my great relief, and assured me that there aren't any flies or insects there.

My biggest concern is fire hazard. One of the ceiling lights stopped working---even after having the lightbulb replaced---and another ceiling light switch has become very fiddly. It's an old house and I'm very concerned about a possible electrical fire. But they say they'll get an electrician and a plumber in, as well as schedule three routine inspections, and since they were able to schedule workpeople a few months ago I don't doubt that they can do it again. But I might have to make sure that they do---perhaps they'll have me help them schedule it, and/or do it for them.

[amphibian]

I'm well aware of how these things can seemingly fit into a life's pattern from previous clients of mine and a friend who was deeply mired in a hoarding situation for years.

One can hold two tracks or more in one's head and one of those tracks should be titled "nobody should be living like this".

[QuickTidal]

Azath Vitr (D, on 23 April 2025 - 05:35 PM, said:

The kitchen sink is also partly clogged---water goes down but it takes a while to drain.

This means there is going to be bacteria and disease in those pipes, and if it's an old house it's entirely possible the clog is due to degraded cement pipes outside the house....the cleanup for this is...messy, but not doing it is dangerous.

Azath Vitr (D, on 23 April 2025 - 05:35 PM, said:

My father's still able to unclog his toilet with a plunger but I remember it being a pretty crap low-powered toilet that easily clogs, so his decision to toss the paper in a sanitary bin while waiting to get a plumber to fix or replace the toilet isn't all that shocking. But not using a tightly sealed lid on the bin is pretty bad even for him. If there were flies or bugs crawling out of it I'd be really concerned about him getting sick from it, but as is it's just gross.

So this setup is not preventing anything. The lack of bugs and flies doesn't mean it's safe, it's wildly unsafe really. My buddy's wife is a respiratory therapist and every toilet flush and unclogging spews waste into the air and then it lands on things. That sanitary bin is a biohazard and will very much get him sick in time.

Azath Vitr (D, on 23 April 2025 - 05:35 PM, said:

At one point I mentioned to my mother that after the plumber fixed the sink he could deal with the issue upstairs---and she said, "What issue?" And I was like, my father's toilet... and she said, "He seems to be fine with it." Now that shocked me. That's when I asked, "Are you sure about that? Does it at least have a tightly sealed lid?" And according to her it's just open. Later I asked him about it---in a nonjudgmental tone---and he was very adamant about wanting to get the toilet fixed, to my great relief, and assured me that there aren't any flies or insects there.

I cannot state with enough firmness that the lack of insects in no way presents the situation as okay. That is an unsafe biohazard. Fecal matter, urine, bacteria, parasites, and other infectious agents can very much be on surfaces and in the air even if you can't directly see them with the naked eye.

Azath Vitr (D, on 23 April 2025 - 05:35 PM, said:

My biggest concern is fire hazard. One of the ceiling lights stopped working---even after having the lightbulb replaced---and another ceiling light switch has become very fiddly. It's an old house and I'm very concerned about a possible electrical fire. But they say they'll get an electrician and a plumber in, as well as schedule three routine inspections, and since they were able to schedule workpeople a few months ago I don't doubt that they can do it again. But I might have to make sure that they do---perhaps they'll have me help them schedule it, and/or do it for them.

This needs to be fixed too. Can you afford to have it done yourself for them? And if not, do you know any neighbours that are handy? If the ceiling light isn't working, and the breaker for the power is on, then it's a wiring issue and that can be quite dangerous if left unattended. You can YouTube this if you feel comfy with turning off the breaker for power and getting into the fixture yourself to see what's up.

Azath this sounds like a mess and I'm sorry your'e having to deal with it, but Amph is right...these things need addressed, and you could very well be seeing the early signs of neurological stuff occurring.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 23 April 2025 - 06:05 PM

[amphibian]

To be super clear, we know how overwhelming this is and how it's hard to get people who have built up these awful habits to do something different.

The worries about fires, bio hazards, and having enough space to live in are very real. I'm sorry it's on your plate to deal with.

[Cause]

Tiste Simeon, on 23 April 2025 - 05:30 PM, said:

Cause, on 23 April 2025 - 05:03 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 09 April 2025 - 04:23 PM, said:

Considering Trump's economic guy Peter Navarro has been discovered to be citing a "great economist" named Ron Vara...which is just an anagram of his last name...he's referencing himself as the great Tariff mind....and wasnt he in jail for a time too? I'm not at all surprised that THIS is the guy who came up with all this shit and hasn't thought it through at all.

NO!

Seriously???

No! I wont believe this is true. It cant be.

Watch this: https://www.instagra...nI0d2wxZjZuc3U1

People used to have the good grace to kill themselves to save face when caught doing shit like this.

My god man, an actual anagram of your name. Did you think no one would crack that advanced algorithm.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

QuickTidal, on 23 April 2025 - 06:03 PM, said:

Azath Vitr (D, on 23 April 2025 - 05:35 PM, said:

My father's still able to unclog his toilet with a plunger but I remember it being a pretty crap low-powered toilet that easily clogs, so his decision to toss the paper in a sanitary bin while waiting to get a plumber to fix or replace the toilet isn't all that shocking. But not using a tightly sealed lid on the bin is pretty bad even for him. If there were flies or bugs crawling out of it I'd be really concerned about him getting sick from it, but as is it's just gross.

So this setup is not preventing anything. The lack of bugs and flies doesn't mean it's safe, it's wildly unsafe really. My buddy's wife is a respiratory therapist and every toilet flush and unclogging spews waste into the air and then it lands on things. That sanitary bin is a biohazard and will very much get him sick in time.

He's using the sanitary bin for toilet paper so he doesn't have to repeatedly unclog the toilet. Apparently it's a common practice in much of the world... but in most cases people use lids.

They've been slipping mentally for many years (they're in their late seventies now) and thankfully they're willing to admit it and it's one of the reasons why they're happy to have me move back in with them---to help them take care of themselves. I got their TV working again a few months ago.

I'll be visiting them today at noon. Hopefully he'll let me order him a bathroom bin with a hands-free lid and the plumber and the electrician will be booked before I return.

Last time I visited they let me order nine large stackable plastic bins to start putting away clutter, and in the future I'll be bringing some stackable coolers that seal well. My initial plan had been to stack the plastiic bins almost all the way up to the ceiling---away from ignition sources---but apparently fire spreads faster vertically and it could spread to the drywall ceiling. So it's probably better to space them out across multiple rooms. Drywall is fire resistant---with a layer of gypsum---but usually supported by wooden studs that burn more easily if the fire gets to them. Not sure how much of the house's frame is wood---would have guessed it was wood but a portion of wall was removed to fix the leak and behind it is clearly masonry, no wooden supports. There are two rooms with concrete floors---garage and basement/laundry room---but a bit of water sometimes gets in both in particular places, and I'm not sure how humid they get. There's one bathroom that's only used for the toilet and the sink, so I'm thinking of stacking things in the unused bathtub/shower---perhaps with an airtight seal for the humidity. Some of the other flooring is already ("non-flammable") ceramic tile---but under carpet which at least in some cases is attached by adhesive which seems hard to clean off. They also have a bunch of heavy ceramic tiles in a closet I could try strategically placing under power strips (someone on Reddit r/AskElectricians recommended this, tile over the carpet, less risk of ignition plus it helps dissipate heat) and maybe on the carpet near electrical outlets provided I think there's no reasonable chance of them tripping over them.

They also have several metal filing cabinets---not sure how much of an advantage they'd be over plastic for combustible materials. At least they wouldn't add to the fire as much as burning plastic would. If the fire has only spread a little within a single room but has reached the containers then metal should theoretically buy more time than plastic to use the extinguisher or evacuate (I did use a fire extinguisher to put out one small fire in my apartment, which was being contained by metal), but it's not clear whether it would be enough to make a significant difference. And they're not fire-rated metal containers and those apparently have such thick walls (typically including a layer of gypsum) that they're generally very heavy and not space-efficient.

My mother previously offered to keep her car out of the garage to create more space, might be best to take her up on that after all if I can't persuade her to get rid of most of the clutter. I'm also going to consider giving away some of the artwork I inherited from my grandparents, since that will add a substantial amount of cluster (it's around 25 paintings I think, including about 10 large ones, and around 40 sculptures, some of them ancient---only three by famous artists afaik) though I'll have to check their records and double-check that none of it has unexpectedly surged in market value. Thinking of moving one large combined bookshelf/cabinet/desk thing that has glass covers for several of the bookshelves out to the garage, wouldn't keep any potentially valuable books in it though---then again I'm not sure whether humidity or insects would really be much of an issue, especially behind the glass.

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 24 April 2025 - 11:46 AM

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Long story short... substantial progress was made, my father's gotten a proper toilet paper bin with hands-free lid, my mother's still capable of decluttering and throwing things away, my father's fine with disposing of all his old bomb-making materials, fireworks, and other hazardous chemicals (though unfortunately the next hazardous waste collection event in the area isn't until June---they take it out of the car trunk, so here's hoping there isn't a mass accident), and I'm confident that the electrician and the plumber will be finished by the time I move in... but my mother was ranting at me like a crazy person for hours. And decluttering causes her anguish. I really feel sorry for her.

The clutter isn't much worse than it has been for decades. She'd always be able to declutter before having maintenance people or visitors in... to avoid being reported, she'd say. And that's why she wants to put off the electrician and the plumber temporarily---that part's reasonable enough, and the level of risk from fire is consistent with how they acted before they started declining mentally. I'll be sleeping next to one door to the outside and doing almost everything else near another door to the outside, with a fire extinguisher and a bug bag at my side. So my personal risk of dying in a fire will be minimal. (Unless I'm taking too long on the toilet... since the bathroom in my area hasn't worked for years, not since the sewer was coming up from it decades ago... I don't particularly want them to try to fix it if there's a substantial risk of the sewer coming up again once I'm living there. So if I'm in the nearest bathroom---on the second story---and there's a fire, I might have to take my chances jumping out the window... maybe I should place a trampoline beneath it? #Technology!)

In the past my mother always claimed that she let things got so cluttered mainly because she didn't have enough energy, her back and knees were hurting, etc. And my father and I had been taking that at face value. I knew she didn't like to throw things away, and that she attributed it to her mother throwing away stuff she cared about when she was a child, but I had no idea her aversion was so severe that it very clearly seems to be mental illness. That "tiredness" while decluttering was probably emotional exhaustion. But she's still able to do it, though slowly. And a large part of her trauma seems to be a child's feeling of lack of control when the mother is throwing things away, particularly without apparent consideration for how the child might feel about the items or what uses they might be put to.

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 25 April 2025 - 02:45 PM

[QuickTidal]

 QuickTidal, on 01 April 2025 - 06:12 PM, said:

Thanks guys. Yeah, we contacted her teacher and she said it was news to her as she thought they were friends, so she's going to speak to them both and then move my daughter to another part of the class if need be. She sounds on top of it for now.

If that solves the problem that's good, but I'll note to my wife to mention this to the principal as she knows him after a few interactions with him and he seems to be on the ball, so he's at least in the loop about the occurrences.


It sounds like this girl pretends to be friendly with my daughter but mocks her and makes fun of her privately (which I mean, every teacher I've ever spoken with about bullies said that this is their MO....they KNOW that they can't present the bully nature too loudly or they will get busted and it's no longer "There are two sides, the teacher didn't see what actually happened" and instead they will get pointed out as the instigator, so they avoid getting seen doing it.

Daughter was moved in class, both girls were spoken to by the teacher. Bully girl continues to not only be a thorn in her side, but has shifted tactics now to trying to isolate her from her friends and sever those ties by telling them she's lying about them.

So we emailed the teacher and principal and told them it has not stopped and that it needs to right away. The principal seemed to fob the job off onto the teacher who responded with a pretty milquetoast reply about speaking to them again...(Again, if I had to guess, this girl is already a PROBLEM and her parents are reportedly not really into caring about it; the girl bullies one of our daughters friends but she has a super thick skin she she doesn't let it bother her as her parents haven't heard her talk about it like ours does)

If my kid comes home with incidents this week, I will email the School Board Trustee. I have not threatened this yet to them directly, but I will copy the teacher and principal when and if I do and I will warn them ahead of time. I will not allow this to go on.

My wife chose to drive the kids to school today (they normally take bus) and stood in line with her outside and apparently the girl saw my wife standing there and knew she was my kids mom. So I hope that spooks her.