[Tsundoku]

$483 speeding fine. 71 km/h in a 60 zone apparently. Strangely it took them 9 days to dispatch it in the mail though, and the photo barely shows what could be the back panel of my car (7pm) and nothing else, just black.
So I sent a please explain because it could be anywhere, even a 70 or 80 zone on the same road they're claiming. Looks like it could be on a downhill slope too, so what am I expected to do - camp on my brakes? Or use cruise control in the city?

Really could not use this right now after the last 18 months of my savings going down over 50% due to a bunch of things happening at once.

[Macros]

thats fairly hefty fine, when I lived in Perth I think I only go 300 for doing 120 in an 80.

[Mezla PigDog]

It's my first Mother's Day of being a mum where nobody gives a shit! Which is disappointing. But there is a funny backstory.

Mr PigDogs best mate invited himself to stay this weekend because it worked with tickets he got for an event - I can forgive this. If he had asked we would have said yes anyway and he would be out all day of Mothers Day so we could do something. I was meant to get breakfast in bed and a nice lunch cooked.

Today is the first anniversary of Mr PigDogs mum dying. He's been very grumpy lately and I think it's a mix of this, all the building work we are having done and me working away so he had to solo parent that has left him with a very short fuse. So all good that he and his best mate were going out on the beers yesterday. (Breakfast in bed already clearly at risk here).

They left at 9am yesterday headed into London for a pub crawl. I got increasingly shaky WhatsApp photos and messages until about 6pm yesterday and then nothing. So far so pretty normal for blokes on a day out on the beers. I went to bed, left the porch light on, went to sleep. Woke up at 2.30am and they still weren't home. No messages. I checked the trains and the last train home from London was en route so, knowing he would be asleep on the train, I waited until the time it would be almost at our stop to call him to see if he was on it and wake them up to get off. No answer. Ok. It won't be the first time he slept beyond our train station. I went back to sleep. Woke at 3.30am by which time even staggering back from the station they should have been in the door. Finally got a WhatsApp message saying they missed the last train home, over 2 hours after the last train left London. They weren't even close - trains never run that late.

They walk in at 8am. Still absolutely hammered. Freezing cold. Looking beyond sorry for themselves. They slept in a toilet at the station! They are both asleep now, best mate isn't going to his event that he came specifically to stay for. I asked my 8 year old son if he was doing anything for me for Mother's Day and he shrugged apologetically and said "Well daddy's drunk and I'm tired so...".

I made myself a nice breakfast. Decided to just get on with all the housework I was going to have to do tomorrow anyway. This is a banker for the relationship guilt trip ammo cupboard!

[QuickTidal]

Mezla PigDog, on 30 March 2025 - 09:27 AM, said:

It's my first Mother's Day of being a mum where nobody gives a shit! Which is disappointing. But there is a funny backstory.

Mr PigDogs best mate invited himself to stay this weekend because it worked with tickets he got for an event - I can forgive this. If he had asked we would have said yes anyway and he would be out all day of Mothers Day so we could do something. I was meant to get breakfast in bed and a nice lunch cooked.

Today is the first anniversary of Mr PigDogs mum dying. He's been very grumpy lately and I think it's a mix of this, all the building work we are having done and me working away so he had to solo parent that has left him with a very short fuse. So all good that he and his best mate were going out on the beers yesterday. (Breakfast in bed already clearly at risk here).

They left at 9am yesterday headed into London for a pub crawl. I got increasingly shaky WhatsApp photos and messages until about 6pm yesterday and then nothing. So far so pretty normal for blokes on a day out on the beers. I went to bed, left the porch light on, went to sleep. Woke up at 2.30am and they still weren't home. No messages. I checked the trains and the last train home from London was en route so, knowing he would be asleep on the train, I waited until the time it would be almost at our stop to call him to see if he was on it and wake them up to get off. No answer. Ok. It won't be the first time he slept beyond our train station. I went back to sleep. Woke at 3.30am by which time even staggering back from the station they should have been in the door. Finally got a WhatsApp message saying they missed the last train home, over 2 hours after the last train left London. They weren't even close - trains never run that late.

They walk in at 8am. Still absolutely hammered. Freezing cold. Looking beyond sorry for themselves. They slept in a toilet at the station! They are both asleep now, best mate isn't going to his event that he came specifically to stay for. I asked my 8 year old son if he was doing anything for me for Mother's Day and he shrugged apologetically and said "Well daddy's drunk and I'm tired so...".

I made myself a nice breakfast. Decided to just get on with all the housework I was going to have to do tomorrow anyway. This is a banker for the relationship guilt trip ammo cupboard!

I cannot begin to describe how dead I would be if I did any of that. My wife would have torn my head clean off and fed it to me JUST for the not texting/calling part, never mind the drunk part. lol

That said, I’m glad you made yourself some brekkie, and have a bankable thing for future shenanigans.

He’s lucky you’re this forgiving.

Also TIL Mothers Day is March 30 in the UK. Wild.

[Mezla PigDog]

I don't know what the rules are for UK Mothers Day date because it was 2 weeks earlier last year.

And don't assume he has it good. I am the QUEEN of passive aggression. A guy doesn't need his head actually ripped off to know his head is ripped off. And his best mate is still here so I'm playing nice. I am reasonably sure I've just banked a decent Mothers Day for the next 20 years.

[Slow Ben]

The thing that stood out to me is your kid is 8! 😆

We’re getting old on here.

[amphibian]

The part I really don't understand is the sleeping in a toilet. Go back out and drink more until it's time for the next train so the hangover is pushed a bit longer and there's a chance to make the next day's event in better shape.

This is bumbling newbie crap for a big night out that accidentally goes long. I'd be more ticked off at the lack of professionalism than the being late part.

[worry]

Beat him with a stick imo.

[Macros]

amphibian, on 30 March 2025 - 08:19 PM, said:

The part I really don't understand is the sleeping in a toilet. Go back out and drink more until it's time for the next train so the hangover is pushed a bit longer and there's a chance to make the next day's event in better shape.

This is bumbling newbie crap for a big night out that accidentally goes long. I'd be more ticked off at the lack of professionalism than the being late part.

Bar the casino an all night bar isnt that easy to find in London unless you know where to go

[amphibian]

Casinos! Polo Bar! Disrepute! A Bar With Shapes For A Name! Mascara Bar! 24 hour diners!

The possibilities for a way better story than "I slept on the shitter for 3 hours" abound!

[QuickTidal]

Daughter is being bullied at her new school by what I've gathered is the "school" bully, in that other moms of girls we know have had run-ins with her. She's lasered in on my daughter because she's new and because she's been sat beside her in class (we've asked the teacher to move our kid away from her)...

We have our daughter in taekwondo (in the city she took Hapkido since she was 5) in our new town, but she's only just started a few weeks back.


Other parents we know have said that we will get exactly nowhere with her parents (which sucks...I would not only want to know if my kid was bullying others, but I would make sure it stopped and apologies offered) as it sounds like they are confrontational about their kid.


Anyways. Annoying. kids can be really cruel, and it sucks to have to avoid dealing with unapologetic parents. Daughter has two friends at the school she she hangs out with, but both have also had run-ins with this bully girl and try their best to avoid her...

And it's not physical, it's mental stuff...like when the teacher asks what they did on a holiday or a weekend my daughter will go and this girl will repeat the same things as what SHE did (even if it's unbelievable)...clearly mocking her. And the girls all have these Stanley water cups (expensive things) and my daughters one is a no-name brand from Walmart and that's apparently not good enough and she gets made fun of for not having the REAL brand (which causes her to cry)...and the chief instigator of that making fun? This bully girl. I hear a story about her every single day from my kid. As a dad, I want nothing more than to go down there and tear a strip of this kids parents...but I fear small town retribution would not be worth it (I live near some real rural, pickup truck, whitebread assholes)...I'm just trying to figure out how to run interference on what my wife wants to do which is confront the kid.......which....bad idea obvs.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: Yesterday, 01:27 PM

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 01 April 2025 - 01:21 PM, said:

Daughter is being bullied at her new school by what I've gathered is the "school" bully, in that other moms of girls we know have had run-ins with her. She's lasered in on my daughter because she's new and because she's been sat beside her in class (we've asked the teacher to move our kid away from her)...

We have our daughter in taekwondo (in the city she took Hapkido since she was 5) in our new town, but she's only just started a few weeks back.


Other parents we know have said that we will get exactly nowhere with her parents (which sucks...I would not only want to know if my kid was bullying others, but I would make sure it stopped and apologies offered) as it sounds like they are confrontational about their kid.


Anyways. Annoying. kids can be really cruel, and it sucks to have to avoid dealing with unapologetic parents. Daughter has two friends at the school she she hangs out with, but both have also had run-ins with this bully girl and try their best to avoid her...

And it's not physical, it's mental stuff...like when the teacher asks what they did on a holiday or a weekend my daughter will go and this girl will repeat the same things as what SHE did (even if it's unbelievable)...clearly mocking her. And the girls all have these Stanley water cups (expensive things) and my daughters one is a no-name brand from Walmart and that's apparently not good enough and she gets made fun of for not having the REAL brand (which causes her to cry)...and the chief instigator of that making fun? This bully girl. I hear a story about her every single day from my kid. As a dad, I want nothing more than to go down there and tear a strip of this kids parents...but I fear small town retribution would not be worth it (I live near some real rural, pickup truck, whitebread assholes)...I'm just trying to figure out how to run interference on what my wife wants to do which is confront the kid.......which....bad idea obvs.

Tell the school if they do not take immediate action such that your child comes home tomorrow and reports no incidents, you will be there the following day to speak with the bully's parents AND their child directly, at the school, during pickup/dropoff. Be clear - bully is not to speak to your kid, or about your kid in her presence, full stop. What she does elsewhere you don't care. If the school does not tell bullygirl to stop and back it up, you will. Next step is schoolboard and trustee.

Fear of a public spectacle may motivate them.

Be clear: 'we expect her to be told do not talk to my kid, do not talk about my kid around her, stay (the fuck) away my kid and my kid will stay away from her'. Too many of these situations become vague w distressed parents makings hazy declarations esp if it isn't physical... it has to be concrete. Bully is doing X. Bully must be told to stop X and face consequences if she does not. If you do not fix this by DATE, I will do Y and Z and make your life more difficult.'.

If the school or bully parents roll out the usual 'well there's two sides to this' you fire back with 'fine, then my child will do exactly the same, not talk to her, not talk about her, stay away from her, problem solved on both sides'.

[amphibian]

You go directly to the school administration and include the teacher in all comms so they're not blindsided and can get ordered to do something about this bully.

The end goal is to maintain your child's education as bully free and to avoid any future awfulness. Keeping that in mind will lower the temperature of the day to day communication while getting everyone to the end goal of "bully leaves your daughter alone".

Being in touch with the admin isn't a bad thing or overstepping. It's standing up for your daughter.

This post has been edited by amphibian: Yesterday, 05:50 PM

[QuickTidal]

Thanks guys. Yeah, we contacted her teacher and she said it was news to her as she thought they were friends, so she's going to speak to them both and then move my daughter to another part of the class if need be. She sounds on top of it for now.

If that solves the problem that's good, but I'll note to my wife to mention this to the principal as she knows him after a few interactions with him and he seems to be on the ball, so he's at least in the loop about the occurrences.


It sounds like this girl pretends to be friendly with my daughter but mocks her and makes fun of her privately (which I mean, every teacher I've ever spoken with about bullies said that this is their MO....they KNOW that they can't present the bully nature too loudly or they will get busted and it's no longer "There are two sides, the teacher didn't see what actually happened" and instead they will get pointed out as the instigator, so they avoid getting seen doing it.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: Yesterday, 06:14 PM