[Ain't_It_Just_]

Christ, where do I start.

My girlfriends best friend is ridiculous. She has her completely wrapped around her little finger-if she says jump, she asks, "How high?" And seeing as she is leaving for QLD in about 2 months, I'm effectively powerless here. My girlfriend has absolute blinders on and never listens to me over her. Not to mention that any plans that her best friend makes she immediately accedes to, regardless of what they entail. I've never had this problem before.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

[Gothos]

headache. nothing a few pills won't fix tho! also, alcohol later on.

@AIJ - she's probably known her 'best friend' a lot longer and better than you. you just live with it, I guess.

[Mezla PigDog]

Ain, on 06 December 2011 - 01:09 PM, said:

Christ, where do I start.

My girlfriends best friend is ridiculous. She has her completely wrapped around her little finger-if she says jump, she asks, "How high?" And seeing as she is leaving for QLD in about 2 months, I'm effectively powerless here. My girlfriend has absolute blinders on and never listens to me over her. Not to mention that any plans that her best friend makes she immediately accedes to, regardless of what they entail. I've never had this problem before.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Gothos, on 06 December 2011 - 01:18 PM, said:

@AIJ - she's probably known her 'best friend' a lot longer and better than you. you just live with it, I guess.

Gothos is correct. You trust your girlfriend to make the right choices over who to be friends with. Feel free to point out any issues you think she might be overlooking but it's ultimately up to her how she deals with it.

[JLV]

@AIJ.

I would say your murder her friend and dress in her skin, so your girlfriend will listen to you more often.

Maybe that's just me.

[QuickTidal]

Ain, on 06 December 2011 - 01:09 PM, said:

Christ, where do I start.

My girlfriends best friend is ridiculous. She has her completely wrapped around her little finger-if she says jump, she asks, "How high?" And seeing as she is leaving for QLD in about 2 months, I'm effectively powerless here. My girlfriend has absolute blinders on and never listens to me over her. Not to mention that any plans that her best friend makes she immediately accedes to, regardless of what they entail. I've never had this problem before.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Yep, the previous folks have it.

My gf (for example). Her best friend is her sister (who she has lived with for years), and EVERYTHING she says ALWAYS trumps me in EVERY regard. It doesn't matter that I am right about more than 50% of the time and the two of them (on her sisters advice or plans) are wrong...she still listens to her with absolute blind faith.

It took us a number of big fights about this subject for me to finally realize that it will likely ALWAYS be like this, and I will rarely trump these notions. I settled in, accepted it, and now things are better. So every time this happens now, I simply sit back and watch whether or not it (whatever it is) gets effed up for not, safe in the knowledge that I can do nothing about it. Leaving it be has made us argue less, and life is better.

Girls and their best friends are inseparable, and the sooner you realize it, the less time you will spend tilting at that particular windmill.

Don't worry, it happens to all of us.

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 06 December 2011 - 02:04 PM, said:

Ain, on 06 December 2011 - 01:09 PM, said:

Christ, where do I start.

My girlfriends best friend is ridiculous. She has her completely wrapped around her little finger-...What the fuck am I supposed to do?

...me to finally realize that it will likely ALWAYS be like this, and I will rarely trump these notions. I settled in, accepted it, and now things are better. So every time this happens now, I simply sit back and watch whether or not it (whatever it is) gets effed up for not, safe in the knowledge that I can do nothing about it. Leaving it be has made us argue less, and life is better....

QT has nailed it. Unless life and/or career depends on whatever it is, drop it. Where you go for dinner or what movie you see is not worth the hassle, ever.

Also, if whatever it was does go fubar, resist the temptation to say 'i told you so'. Allow it to build. Eventually SHE will complain about it, and then you judiciously point out that she is absolutely correct, that friendperson's plans do tend to go sideways, like all those other times. The trick is support, rather than challenge - it;s relationship judo... use the force of the best friend's stupidity against them.

Or just fall back on the 'remove the skin' thing... whatever works.

[Solidsnape]

@AIJ

I agree with everyone on this subject.
However, I left to live and work in Holland after only being with my GF for 8 weeks. For 6 years!!
We ended up best mates.
So I suppose if you can convince her to jump ship with you then that's always an option.
Alas she still doesn't listen to me.

On topic: I think my GF is going to have the baby early, just to mess with all the Xmas plans.

This post has been edited by Solidsnape: 06 December 2011 - 05:42 PM

[tiam]

QuickTidal, on 06 December 2011 - 02:04 PM, said:

Ain, on 06 December 2011 - 01:09 PM, said:

Christ, where do I start.

My girlfriends best friend is ridiculous. She has her completely wrapped around her little finger-if she says jump, she asks, "How high?" And seeing as she is leaving for QLD in about 2 months, I'm effectively powerless here. My girlfriend has absolute blinders on and never listens to me over her. Not to mention that any plans that her best friend makes she immediately accedes to, regardless of what they entail. I've never had this problem before.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Yep, the previous folks have it.

My gf (for example). Her best friend is her sister (who she has lived with for years), and EVERYTHING she says ALWAYS trumps me in EVERY regard. It doesn't matter that I am right about more than 50% of the time and the two of them (on her sisters advice or plans) are wrong...she still listens to her with absolute blind faith.

It took us a number of big fights about this subject for me to finally realize that it will likely ALWAYS be like this, and I will rarely trump these notions. I settled in, accepted it, and now things are better. So every time this happens now, I simply sit back and watch whether or not it (whatever it is) gets effed up for not, safe in the knowledge that I can do nothing about it. Leaving it be has made us argue less, and life is better.

Girls and their best friends are inseparable, and the sooner you realize it, the less time you will spend tilting at that particular windmill.

Don't worry, it happens to all of us.

Warning: Bitter Tiam is bitter

QT is right as is Abyss and any others. The easiet thing to do accept it. There are certain times when men and women (because guys do it too) feel that their best friend is being taken away from them and try to control their plans. The friend (the GF/BF in question) feels guilty about spending so much time with their partner (you in this instance AIJ) and as a form of loyalty will side with their best friend come what may. Any attempt, and I cant stress this enough, by you to argue/rationalise/show your own opinion will lead to defensiveness on your GF part. It seems like an attack, which it is to a certain extent, on their friendship and will only push your GF further into the, possibly neglected, arms of that best friend leaving you looking the villain and placing a strain on your relationship.

Having said that I cat do what QT has done and just accept that. It has driven me mad in the past but I have not been able to simply let the bullshit manipulative 'friend' guilt my GFs into not seeing me, citing 'well you would blow off those plans you made with him a week ago for this impromptu night out if you were a real friend' bollocks. While im not saying your situation is the same AIJ (your probably far more rational and stylised in that blazer than I am ) Im saying it can be difficult to just 'accept it' rather than say your piece.

[Mezla PigDog]

Being coerced into joining in some blatant nepotism at work. It's really fucking annoying when you come from a background of working for everything you have and then having to suck up to the teenage sons of a major investor in the business. We're giving them work experience so that they can get a gold plated invitation to study at Imperial College. Have to take the brats out for lunch tomorrow and the worst thing is, they're really nice for their age, which is also down to the silver spoon the bastards have been fed with since birth.

Even worse, the other week, I had to suck up to a Conservative MP son of a Lord who owns an investment management company that is looking to invest in our business. Mother fuckers, it seems I've gone over to the dark side. I really should have asked for more money.......

[worry]

Do the subversive thing and wear a decidedly pointed Far Side comic shirt under your button-up.

[QuickTidal]

I thought TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY was coming out THIS Friday...and with Mrs. QT away in Belize it was going to be the perfect opportunity to see it....sadly I miscalculated and it's coming out next week...and now I don't know when I'll get to see it.

Blerg.

[Tapper]

QuickTidal, on 07 December 2011 - 07:48 PM, said:

I thought TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY was coming out THIS Friday...and with Mrs. QT away in Belize it was going to be the perfect opportunity to see it....sadly I miscalculated and it's coming out next week...and now I don't know when I'll get to see it.

Blerg.

I know when.

Spoiler

On dvd.

On topic: I can't find my iPod and it's 2.5 hours before I leave for a short vacation... damn my addiction to spotify for making me drop the pod in a dusty desk drawer somewhere.
Secondly, it is now close to midnight, I should probably catch 40 winks as there is no way I can stay awake until 7 am when the flight goes (not drinking coffee today helped with that)... but I also know I'll feel wretched if I go to bed and wake up mid-early sleep. Or, even worse, sleep through the gazillion alarms I set.

[Centzon Totochtin]

really disturbing dreams... woke up bawling

Not a great start to the day.

[worry]

Today a lady at Cal State Long Beach did that thing where you get stuck in an elevator at like midway between floors, try to climb your way out, and then the elevator turns on right when you're halfway through. Squish.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

Missed the bus over to pubquiz.

And then I missed the next one.

I swear, do these fuckers even stop for passengers?

[wade]

worrywort, on 08 December 2011 - 12:44 AM, said:

Today a lady at Cal State Long Beach did that thing where you get stuck in an elevator at like midway between floors, try to climb your way out, and then the elevator turns on right when you're halfway through. Squish.

She died?

[worry]

Quite dead indeed.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Gruesome

I just returned from schoolies...and now I have to get up at 7am tomorrow for an acting gig. Faaaaaark.

[Macros]

white card shite

[Gothos]

Messing with my groove? I'm unrealistically expectant of people, and I'm more likely to win a lottery while not buying any tickets than find a girl that will suit my expectations. Or at least one that does and would have me.

I'm not helping my case by not going out much/at all.