I've had a very interesting week.
The good news: Got a pay raise and that's been humbling because my boss has been pushing for me to be paid more again and again. Intern and fellow left - it got real dusty in there both times, they absolutely loved their experience working with us and are looking to come back after school. The fellow made my favorite cookies, Cricut stenciled sign language coffee mugs, and a beautiful hand drawn sign explaining the Americans with Disabilities Act for the office. The intern brought up incredible bagels from NYC and Ben's cream cheese (my name is Ben). Honored to have them work with us and we'll go to the ends of the Earth to support them. We also selected one person for an important open position we have.
The weird news: a lady I was seeing briefly sent me an unhinged and long text about how she can't date me because I am the future patriarch of my family and I have a female best friend. I said basically "ok, if you think those are reasons to leave, then they are. I spoke for 5 minutes about how I did not want to be the patriarch and my best friend's gender has little to do with the friendship beyond this being part of who she is." She responded by saying that she has insecurities and dug a huge hole for herself, there was no point in digging herself out. I agreed and we said our goodbyes. At least she was honest about this instead of sabotaging things quietly or resenting me.
The bad news that almost was: I found out that my ex posted on a local nanny Fbook group (through friends that are there for their own child) for a nanny to watch her 3 month old child. I left 9+3 months ago. I nearly threw up. We officially divorced less than two months ago. I reached out by text and asked if I was the parent. She said no. I asked for some more details - she said IVF baby and the child is a month old now, but will be 3 months old in a month (timeline doesn't exactly work out here). I wished her congratulations and asked if I was on the birth certificate. She got mad at me and told me no.
A friend who knows IVF from having undergone it says that it's very improbable for my ex to have found a clinic, gotten IVF, gotten pregnant, carried to term within 2-4 weeks of my leaving the house.
Combine the above with my ex having Bumble the dating app (for friends, she said, but disappeared for 3 hours when I asked to see the messages then showed me an empty app) in July of 2022, some shady behavior I saw for months, and I think I have enough smoke to think that there's a decent chance my ex was cheating on me and there's another guy involved. My ex would and did lie or avoid conflict often about things like this.
Anyways, this was almost a monkey's paw version of "Ben would like a child". I was in tumult even after the short conversation with the ex because the emotional impact of possibly having a child, having to be linked to my ex for my lifetime due to the innocent child, and not being told any of that was considerable. Took a full day and a half to come back down to normal, calm me.
I don't particularly have emotions about my ex having a child. She wanted one with me, yet wasn't willing to put in the work to have a relationship or sex. I think it's good for her to achieve a goal, I hope she's a far better parent than she was a partner (because the child deserves that), and I'm happy I'm not involved with her again.
This post has been edited by amphibian: 04 September 2023 - 03:07 PM
I survived the Permian and all I got was this t-shirt.