[Macros]

Given that it's an unnecessary risk and how terrified American Doctors in particular are of legal wrangles I'd maintain that it's unlikely to be general

[QuickTidal]

It's now 40Weeks + 4 days (those 4 days are past the due date) for baby #2.

I feel for my poor wife who is endlessly uncomfortable, can barely sleep due to that uncomfort, emotionally up and down to the point of exhaustion, and we are both dealing with a toddler who is rarely NOT sick (Daycare is a goddamned petrie dish, let no one else tell you otherwise!)...I mean she JUST got done with HandFootMouth, and now she has another cold and brutal cough...and no matter how much I help with her alone (I'm trying to deal with our sick daughter as much as I can), she still always wants mummy too....it's a fun situation, let me tell you.

[Macros]

Not trying to sound like a smartass (and likely failing) but I seem to be seeing a lot of parents complaining recently of children illnesses (a plethora of cold, flu, claw and hold or whatever)
However (anecdotally, everyone's favourite) I have two friends with wains (2 and 3 respectfully) and their kids are rarely if ever sick. However their kids are constantly playing in the muck and are involved with animals (horses and dogs mostly) daily. I do genuinely, and yes I have no kids, believe that the world's increasing (especially first world) fetishism over purelling the fuck out of everything is ruining kids immune systems.


ETA - that was 2 kids and 3 kids not ages, the age range is 6 months through to 7/8 years

ETA ETA - I have many many friends with kids, but these ones always seem so rubust and have been raised in households that don't try and sterilise every single thing and they interact with dirt and terms constantly. I doubt there's even a tub of purell in the parents possession

This post has been edited by Macros: 16 October 2018 - 03:22 PM

[Abyss]

Macros, on 16 October 2018 - 03:19 PM, said:

Not trying to sound like a smartass (and likely failing) but I seem to be seeing a lot of parents complaining recently of children illnesses (a plethora of cold, flu, claw and hold or whatever)
However (anecdotally, everyone's favourite) I have two friends with wains (2 and 3 respectfully) and their kids are rarely if ever sick. However their kids are constantly playing in the muck and are involved with animals (horses and dogs mostly) daily. I do genuinely, and yes I have no kids, believe that the world's increasing (especially first world) fetishism over purelling the fuck out of everything is ruining kids immune systems.


ETA - that was 2 kids and 3 kids not ages, the age range is 6 months through to 7/8 years

ETA ETA - I have many many friends with kids, but these ones always seem so rubust and have been raised in households that don't try and sterilise every single thing and they interact with dirt and terms constantly. I doubt there's even a tub of purell in the parents possession

Yes, because the parasites like their hosts to be healthy until it's time for the eggs to hatch and spread.

[Macros]

At least they're healthy hosts

[QuickTidal]

Macros, on 16 October 2018 - 03:19 PM, said:

Not trying to sound like a smartass (and likely failing) but I seem to be seeing a lot of parents complaining recently of children illnesses (a plethora of cold, flu, claw and hold or whatever)
However (anecdotally, everyone's favourite) I have two friends with wains (2 and 3 respectfully) and their kids are rarely if ever sick. However their kids are constantly playing in the muck and are involved with animals (horses and dogs mostly) daily. I do genuinely, and yes I have no kids, believe that the world's increasing (especially first world) fetishism over purelling the fuck out of everything is ruining kids immune systems.


ETA - that was 2 kids and 3 kids not ages, the age range is 6 months through to 7/8 years

ETA ETA - I have many many friends with kids, but these ones always seem so rubust and have been raised in households that don't try and sterilise every single thing and they interact with dirt and terms constantly. I doubt there's even a tub of purell in the parents possession

To answer, I think in our case it's entirely the fault of daycare illness and the fact that at age 2 kids are still building their immune system so getting sick is important. If they are older, they should not be getting sick nearly as much, but between age 0 and like 4 or so...the immune system is building and building. So they are going to get sick a lot, and that's not something we try to discourage. It's annoying AF, and hard to keep seeing your kids down with the cold or whatever, but it's required.

For me in this situation, it's less about her getting sick, but more the incoming baby that has zero immune system that I worry about...so I'm extra annoyed at the daycare petrie. On top of that we are about to go back to "no sleep" mode as parents, so my daughter up coughing all night because she's so full of mucous on the monitor means we are already not sleeping well sadly.

Conversely (and not sure if this applies to your friends kids) Kids who aren't in daycare (looked after by a parent, or another family member, or a in-house nanny) are going to fare much better in the "getting sick" range since they simply aren't thrown into the classroom with 15 other kids all of whom are licking and gumming the same toys and objects every day for 8 hours. And the illnesses that roll through our daycare are in a parade; Colds, then Norwalk, then HFM, then (currently) Strep throat...ect. It's never-ending, and the chances your kid won't get it are like 1% slim. We get an email once a week at least with notes about "______ going around" from her daycare.

But you're totally right, kids need to be able to get sick, and get mucky, and build those immune systems...and over-washing their hands or purell-ing them is a mistake. Largely we try to let her build the immune system...but it's tough because you also don't want them to be sick 99% of the time. That's no fun.

Unfortunately she's also inherited my penchant for getting chest colds with brutal coughs, so that plays into it as well.

[Lady Bliss]

Tsundoku, on 16 October 2018 - 07:24 AM, said:

Well at least now you get to tell your mum that you met a nice surgeon who gave you some expensive metal for your finger.



Having had a similar experience a few years back, I recommend you don't let them take it out until more than 3 or so weeks. They took mine out 2.5 weeks after insertion and the finger healed at a slight angle. Good thing I never learned piano, because now I never will.

Are they putting you under a general anaesthetic?

Yes they are. I don’t think my surgeon will take it out before 3 weeks from what he told me. I’ll just be counting down to having the cast off as I’m right handed.

[Maark Abbott]

Work is just hellishly busy. I mean sure I'm at 50% of yearly target now, but it's so exhausting I can't even do my writing at present.

[worry]

What did the tech do? Just come to your house and deliver the modem without hooking it up?

[worry]

I'm not great with this stuff, but is there a separate password for setting the modem up with the ISP (like the one to mess with your modem through a web browser) and the Wi Fi password that devices use? I know my modem has a "password" for logging in to the modem itself, while the actual wifi network password is a totally different # (listed as WAP2).

[Aptorian]

Sorry to drop this on you.

I don't normally post in here. Hell, I don't normally even look in here because commiserating about ones missery seems like a dreadful exercise. In general I am not really one for emotions and being in touch with them. You know, in a manly sort of way.

But I feel like I need to post this somewhere because I'm falling a part inside. Better it be to a bunch of faceless aquiantances.

My father is dying. Of lung cancer. It's spread through out his body and all there is left now is waiting.

He was diagnosed about 5 months ago. Way too late but my father is like myself. Unless we're bleeding out of an orifice or a limb has fallen off we don't need a doctor.

It really took a turn for the worse a few weeks ago, when his care went from treatment to just alleviating the pain and easing his last days. He couldn't take the chemo any longer. All it was doing was breaking him down.

Because of work and life and the distance between cities I only visited every month. I saw how the chemo was taking its toll but my father was taking it in stride. We all felt that it was important to stay strong and believe this thing could be beaten.

It can't any longer. Livers shut down. Lungs are giving up. Kidneys are shot.


I visit every weekend now. Soon I'll probably need to take time off (which isn't a problem thankfully).

The past few weeks he's gone from thin to emasciated. A brain that was occasionally foggy with medication is now completely addled. He's there for a minute then his mind goes somewhere else. He can't walk. He can't use his hands. Nervous system is fighting him. Constantly shaking. Can't swallow.


But he keeps fighting it and that's what's breaking my heart.

Death is inevitable. That I can accept. When my father is dead, he's gone. Eternal nothingness. Rest without end. That is comforting. To me at least.

What I can't accept is sitting here next to him and not being able to do anything. I can fetch him some water or change the TV channel but I can't help him. It's frustrating beyond compare. He's fighting this thing eating him up and I'm helpless to do anything.

That's fucking bullshit.

This is a level of emotional turmoil I can't deal with. It's like staring directly at the sun. It's scorching. It's all consuming.

So I look away. I help my Stepmom with house cleaning. I do her errands for her. I busy myself because just sitting still for more than 5 minutes is a terror - but I don't want to leave my father's side for too long either.

And in two days I have to go back to work again. Wondering what I'll come back to next weekend. That uncertainty is equally horrific. Because I can't be there all the time.

Every day you wonder is this the day? While at the same time wanting to believe you still have weeks or months. Every labored breath followed by silence lasts an eternity.

At this point we're all hoping for another Christmas but it feels like there's a million days to December.

Anyway, yeah, cancer is a fucking bitch.

It really helped typing all this out.

This post has been edited by Alternative Goose: 20 October 2018 - 02:45 PM

[Slow Ben]

Damn Apt, that really sucks man. Sorry you’re having to go through that.

Glad venting to us helped somewhat, feel free to do it as much as you need. The faceless acquaintances are happy to listen.

[Aptorian]

Just typing out the words felt like letting off some steam.

[Aptorian]

The worst part is the dementia and disorientation or what ever you want to call it. He's sort of in there but not really. The difference between this weekend and the last is staggering.

My Stepmom is getting help from a team of nurses a couple times a week but from what I've seen today, we need to get my dad into a hospice yesterday, because we can't handle this.

It's going to destroy my Stepmom going through this every day. Even if I'm here. We need somebody trained to handle a person in this condition.

[Macros]

Apt I can't put myself in a frame of reference for where you are at, all I (and I would Imagine we) can do is offer you whatever support you need.
If you want to talk we'll be here for you.
Hell of you feel the need to go for a beer to vent and or talk or whatever or just need an escape. I'll jump on a plane

[Aptorian]

Nah, just putting things into words is enough.

What I really need is for somebody to dress up like a cancer cell and let me kick them in the balls. That would help I think.

Any takers?

[Macros]

My offer stands, minus any ball kicking

[Macros]

But yes. Fuck cancer

[Tsundoku]

Oh shit mate, so very sorry to hear that.

My favourite uncle passed recently under similar circumstances. I wasn't able to be there though.

We all knew the end was coming when they put him into palliative care but when he passed it was still a jolt, but a relief too. Luckily it was relatively quick.

But if it makes you feel better to kick Maccy cancer in the cojones, feel free.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 20 October 2018 - 09:56 PM

[worry]

Ditto to the above sentiments. There's not really any silver lining to this kind of situation, but going through it at least clarifies and simplifies a lot in terms of family bonds. You just kind of be there for each other.