Not sure if this thread or the messing thread was more appropiate but still... I'm trying to look at this positively...
So I had a bit of a shitty/difficult childhood and upbringing, because of this I've always had problems going back as long as I can remember or I presume it's because of this anyway. Bouts of depression, especially if things snowballed but I'm a typical bloke and hide it well, 90% of the people close to me don't know what I go through (my friends are my family) because I can also be super happy, a typical geordie wise cracking away, having shits and giggles and generally a good time... almost hyper at times...
But this year things snowballed hard. I never had support as a child so I learnt to deal with everything myself and kept everything to myself. If there is a problem I deal with it myself...but you know when you get knock after knock, you think you're through the worst and you get hit by another sledge hammer and then another and so on.... Well it has been one of those years so far.
I had a really bad snowball a few weeks back and finally decided to try do something about it. The day I made an appointment I cried myself to sleep that night I was feeling that low... A couple of days before the appointment I woke up actually singing and dancing, feeling on top of the world and like I could conquer the world... I started to feel stupid about making the appointment, that I was wasting their time, how can I be bad if I am feeling like this and debated on whether to go or not...
I stuck with it though and turned up, after a lot of talk about the depression with the doc, she started asking more questions... she spotted something I hadn't even thought about - I woke up singing and dancing because I was on a manic episode... turns out I am Bipolar.
I'm trying to get my head around it at the minute, probably why I've decided to write about it here. Sorry if it's ramble.
edit
spelling but probably missed something.
This post has been edited by champ: 12 October 2016 - 07:45 PM