Malazan Empire: Mezla PigDog - Viewing Profile - Malazan Empire

Jump to content

User Rating: ****-

Reputation: 976 Rep Panther, Rrrrow!
Group:
Mezla's Thought Police
Active Posts:
5,339 (0.79 per day)
Most Active In:
The Phoenix Inn (2847 posts)
Joined:
03-September 04
Profile Views:
61,776
Last Active:
User is offline Mar 15 2023 03:53 PM
Currently:
Offline

My Information

Member Title:
Malazan Yo Yo Champion 2009
Age:
Age Unknown
Birthday:
Birthday Unknown

Contact Information

E-mail:
Private
MSN:
MSN  mezla@hotmail.com
Website URL:
Website URL  http://

Icon Latest Reputation

976

Current Reputation


Latest Visitors

Posts I've Made

  1. In Topic: What's messing with your groove?

    15 March 2023 - 03:51 PM

     TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 15 March 2023 - 10:38 AM, said:

     Mezla PigDog, on 15 March 2023 - 07:36 AM, said:

    Definitely.

    Messing with my groove is that I am seriously feeling the pinch of parenting on my career development. It's extremely irritating. I have felt it over the last few years but it didn't bother me so much but now I'm getting frustrated. It boils down to not being able to travel a lot and speak at conferences and do extra work for professional associations. I guess it is bothering me now because previously the person who was utilising my work to build their name was a woman senior to me who was very generous with my work / life balance in return and always made sure I got the credit I was due. She left the business and has been replaced by a man who is dumping all the work on me, sucking up my knowledge and experience and making it his own externally. I can't not let him have access to my work as it would be unprofessional but I am seriously tempted to start being a bitch.

    I need to keep sucking it up until my son is a bit older but it's so frustrating.


    A friend of mine has hit this point with her job too. Their first child was 2 yesterday and they are trying to plan timing wise for a second. She's a solicitor and last time we talked I think she's considering leaving law altogether because she feels so punished for having a family in terms of current progression and likelihood of it in future. Success seems to be measured by having no life outside of work and the hours you work reflecting such. Another left academia altogether because she said there was no point trying to remain in it once she'd had two rounds of maternity leave when all they'll do is pay fresh PHD students less than her to do the role. I've really had my eyes opened the last few years by friends with children to just how punitive having a family can be on a career, I confess I wildly underestimated it.

    I really hope you can find a solution where you get the credit you deserve (and curse his name in as many tongues as possible in the meantime!).



    Advice I would give to your friends: The one who is a solicitor - have the second baby whenever she wants and ride out any shitty behaviour by the current employer, so long as it is tolerable, milk them for maternity leave pay etc. Then move on when the kids are at a more manageable age if the company hasn't improved it's approach. My son is 7 soon and I can see it on the horizon. Two years old is nothing - she is in survival territory right now and just has to keep her head above water. She may have to wait longer if she has more than one kid though.

    The friend who got out of academia did the right thing. There are not many sectors for people with significant volumes of qualifications that treat women with kids worse.

    I have to say that I am lucky. My company is really good to me in terms of internal progression. I've been promoted twice since maternity leave. I'm thinking of my next career step outside this company and if I don't improve my external profile, I won't get as big a step as I could. It's irritating watching mostly men swanning around the speaking circuit and knowing they probably have a woman at home holding the fort with the kids and they don't need to give a second thought to the career advantage they have. Mr PigDog does his fair share but I'd have to be away overnight a few times a month and working weekends and evenings more often to keep up. And I consider myself lucky!!
  2. In Topic: What's messing with your groove?

    15 March 2023 - 07:36 AM

    Definitely.

    Messing with my groove is that I am seriously feeling the pinch of parenting on my career development. It's extremely irritating. I have felt it over the last few years but it didn't bother me so much but now I'm getting frustrated. It boils down to not being able to travel a lot and speak at conferences and do extra work for professional associations. I guess it is bothering me now because previously the person who was utilising my work to build their name was a woman senior to me who was very generous with my work / life balance in return and always made sure I got the credit I was due. She left the business and has been replaced by a man who is dumping all the work on me, sucking up my knowledge and experience and making it his own externally. I can't not let him have access to my work as it would be unprofessional but I am seriously tempted to start being a bitch.

    I need to keep sucking it up until my son is a bit older but it's so frustrating.
  3. In Topic: Hogwarts Legacy Controversy

    15 March 2023 - 07:25 AM

    Is she definitely the RF in TERF?
  4. In Topic: What's messing with your groove?

    14 March 2023 - 09:45 PM

     amphibian, on 14 March 2023 - 04:46 PM, said:

    I have been hosting a friend on my couch initially, then got a guest bedroom set up for him - for 5 months. I have not and would not ask for rent, utilities, help with chores etc.

    I asked him to figure out a departure with a month's notice and to take his things he's stored here. Days of silence, he texted my brother who is his roommate upstairs to protest. My brother generally agrees with me, thinks that I could be nicer (I was blunt, although not rude bc this friend has ducked conversation on this topic for a couple months now), and mostly stays out of this.

    Today, the friend walks downstairs and starts talking to me while I'm in the middle of a work meeting. I was luckily muted on the meeting and tell him to come back in a few. The conversation he chooses to have later consisted of "You've swept my feet out from under me, I'm this close to buying a house, I have 3k saved up, and now I am going to have to put that all into an apartment, this is out of character for you, there's no empathy in your eyes etc".

    I stayed firm, told him he has a month to figure things out, that I've not asked him for rent or contributions, that I wasn't going to get in the details on why I want him out (he's a constant blunt smoker and puts his ashes everywhere, constantly borrows my stuff and doesn't return for days until I ask - things like my nail clippers, is lazy about cleaning, does laundry constantly for 2-3 pieces of clothes, brings his kid and partner over to use my TV/games stuff multiple days of the week, it was economically affordable, yet he is more expensive in terms of utilities and house time than my brother and I put together), and that this was final.

    He's probably going to go to our mutual friends and complain.

    He has the 3k and the unlikely wherewithal to buy a house because I put him up for 5+ months and will go a 6th.

    Change the relationship, sheesh.


    How come you aren't giving him the details? Not that you have to at all, but given they are so blatant especially on the expense, he couldn't argue and sound rational. I totally get that you just need him to accept the decision is final and reasons don't matter though. Maybe it would help him in the future. Or maybe it would create a focal point for disagreement.

    Well done for putting him up for as long as you have.
  5. In Topic: What's messing with your groove?

    14 March 2023 - 12:06 PM

    You definitely shouldn't be in this position, I agree.

    I did a poor job over what I was trying to say above. What I meant was, that 20 to get into work as a one off is critical for keeping your job. So don't be too proud to ask someone for a favour if it comes to it. Obviously you won't be asking people every time you want to do something outside your basic expenses but that 20 is critical. You've had a really bad run, so nothing wrong with asking someone to indefinitely lend you 20.

    Sorry you are in this situation though. The UK is shite, especially if you don't meet eligibility for any benefits while your wife is out of work.

Comments

  • 2 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2
  1. Photo

    Loki 

    07 Mar 2012 - 14:30
    I am getting married....just too lazy to set a date :D So you weren't completely off track ;)
  2. Photo

    Macros 

    09 Feb 2012 - 23:52
    You are a dirty boy!
    Wait....
  3. Photo

    Macros 

    19 Dec 2011 - 13:31
    Excellent, judging by call register i was attempting to convey something to a malazanite, but i was in poor nick Friday work ends and the boss lands down with 3 crates of beer and a BBQ, suffice to say the night didn't end well
  4. Photo

    Macros 

    17 Dec 2011 - 08:14
    And I'm back as the most recent creeper on your profile page, most excellent. What was I rambling about last night? In my defence I don't really recall leaving the bar and woke up in the cinema room of the hostel
  5. Photo

    Aptorian 

    22 Apr 2010 - 08:17
    In the way of scrolling? Like, it takes time for the page to load? Or do you mean it is unsuitable? Or are you simply mesmerized by the cocaine snorting capabilities of Henry the happy hoover?
  6. Photo

    Terez 

    10 Apr 2010 - 03:01
    LOL, I see there is some girl solidarity on the abortion issue.
  7. Photo

    Tapper 

    09 Apr 2010 - 21:19
    thanks for the wish - much appreciated.
  8. Photo

    Macros 

    07 Apr 2010 - 20:41
    I would not be in the slightest surprised, you only human after all
  9. Photo

    Macros 

    06 Apr 2010 - 22:19
    Does this mean I won?
  10. Photo

    HoosierDaddy 

    28 Mar 2010 - 08:17
    Oh, that statement just made me laugh my ass off, Mez.
    How big's your gun rack? Hmmmmm?
  11. Photo

    Macros 

    28 Mar 2010 - 03:11
    that's more like it.
    unsuspecting, ambivalent.
    just the what i need............
  12. Photo

    Macros 

    16 Mar 2010 - 19:21
    I think you need new glasses, I need to lose a bit of weight
  13. Photo

    Wry 

    25 Feb 2010 - 18:05
    I feel godlike now!
    TREMBLE MORTALS!!!
  14. Photo

    Yellow 

    31 May 2009 - 23:04
    How did you know about the Lucas thing? Friends in powerful places. I got three happy birthday messages today from forums I go on, and one email from British Gas asking for money.
  15. Photo

    Yellow 

    23 Apr 2009 - 21:17
    I dunno. I never liked that film. I used to think Hudson Hawk was a great film, even though Andie MacDowall was in it. Now, all I can see is her non-acting face and it ruins the whole thing. She is not convincing as a human.
  • 2 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2