Malazan Empire: Mezla PigDog - Viewing Profile - Malazan Empire

What's the top one thing you would recommend to be prepared, Nico?

Double post. Life has been pretty shite lately. My son has been having anxiety attacks. He's 9, he has nothing real to worry about. I don't THINK we have been terrible parents although I am sure we have our blindspots. I know anxiety is a thing that some people just have, it's how they are wired. I feel we could have handled it reasonably well except he throws up! So if he's at school he is sent home for 48 hrs, if he isn't with a parent he is sent home, or if he is out with us it's a bloody faff to sort it out and we're treading on eggshells all the time to avoid the puke. My nerves have been shredded. It's also got to be really bad for him physically to be throwing up so often. So our lives shrunk a lot while we tried to break the cycle of puking as the more he pukes, the easier it seems to come. Bless the little bugger, he's played football matches immediately after puking, been sent to holiday camps, trick or treat, aeroplane flights. He self-moderates by refusing breakfast a lot. He bounces back pretty quickly once he does puke but the build up is a nightmare as he doesn't want to puke, he doesn't even know why he feels sick, we don't want him to puke, but puking seems to be a release. We have been trying to break the cycle. Me and Mr PigDog haven't been getting along as we disagree with how to deal with it, which obviously helps nothing if not actively makes it worse. Everyone has an opinion on what to do but I'm the one the kid ultimately comes to for comfort.

Anyway, after 9 months of a lot of puking we're on about 12 months of it kind of being under control with occasional relapses. It has been replaced slightly with needing to wee but that's perfectly manageable! Physical causes have been ruled out so it's definitely psychological.

So now there is bandwidth to deal with the root cause of the anxiety. He's always been a high energy kid, not one for sitting down and he hates school work - anything where he has to hold a pencil is a battle. But he can do it. As the rest of his class settle down as they get older he is starting to stand out more. So his school last week said they think we should get him tested for neurodiversity. They don't lean towards a specific condition (which doesn't fecking help) but they think it's the only thing to explain what is going on. So we'll be doing that but if he does have something I expect it's borderline or otherwise we would have gone in that direction much younger. I'm leaning towards ADHD but he doesn't fit that many of the criteria (not that I'm an expert). However over diagnosis is a real thing now (not remotely criticising anyone with a diagnosis, it's just a big complicated thing). So I don't want him to be diagnosed with something he doesn't have. Or waste time going up a blind alley.

We had a good run at home over autumn so I kicked off looking for a new job because my current one makes me unhappy and I have been massively overworked now for years. It's a big task to look for a job, and work and parent and just generally do life. We have no family nearby (they wouldn't be helpful if they were) and friends he can go to are limited due to the puking.

So I'm climbing the walls basically. I know the right thing to do for each specific issue but there aren't enough hours in the frickin day.

 Macros, on 17 January 2026 - 09:16 AM, said:

I think this is pretty normal. When I speak to senior people at work who I don't know very well, I get a bit nervous with the eye of Sauron on me. I'm at the upper end of the middle manager ladder and have noticed lately more junior people are nervous when I speak to them. I am always surprised and it's a bit irritating, to be fair. You want to say "I'm just working, your career isn't on the line because I am talking to you".

Socially and professionally I always feel like others have their shit together more than I do. Like they know some secret to life that I somehow missed out on learning. I'm not thinking this every minute of the day but it is a general undercurrent.

I reckon if you don't have that to some degree then you are basically Donald Trump.

Merry Christmas, you rascals.

I am relaxed for the first time in what feels like months. I haven't done anything the last two days beyond presents, pyjamas and occasionally using my nails to break apart stuck lego pieces. Kiddo has built some awesome Star Wars sets that I've been flying from the comfort of my lazy chair.

Vaguely supposed to be hitting the roads to visit family over the rest of the holidays but we haven't officially arranged anything and I'm working on the excuse to get out of it all.

My third bad thing from the groove thread didn't happen. I think it happened before I crashed my car. Two days earlier I had stood in dog poo and had trod it around everywhere before I realised. So that could have been worse.

Mortgages are defo a fact of life. Get a product you can afford the repayments, overpay when you can, re-evaluate whenever you have to renew. You can't think further ahead than that until the amount you owe shrinks to a number you can do something about.

We've had our mortgage about 12 years now. The first few years are annoying as the total you owe hardly moves at all. But the longer you go, the better it gets- economy and employment status willing.