[Grumble]

For those who survived the epic Lost in the desert post (#577)

This joke was also a personality profile test…

It was the subject of a recent Educational Psychology Master’s Thesis, soon to be published, which investigated the way someone responds to a webpage such as this correlates to certain personality tendencies.

The research confirmed a statistically significant correlation which strongly suggests a dependably predictive positive relationship between how a person responds to this page and certain aspects of his or her psychological profile. I named this the Personality Profile Assessment Test Hypothesis.

While the actual results looked at several complex factors, and depended heavily on questionnaires filled out by volunteers upon completion of their experience, I will simplify the results by discussing three main groups and their profiles. While these profiles may not be exactly fitting of each person within each group, they do strongly suggest a statistically significant likelihood of profile similarity.

11% of those who see this page take their time, enjoying the joke as they read it, enjoying the build up to the punch line, and even if the punch line itself wasn’t particularly humorous, they tended to enjoy the process.

56% begin scroll down to the punch line either before starting to read the joke or within a short period of time- usually 20 seconds or less. The vast majority of this group choose not to read the joke.

33% read at least 1/3 of the joke, with the intention of reading it all, but then begin to question their decision and the investment of time they are making. They go back and forth between deciding to continuing or to skip to the end (this vacillating may be unconscious at the time, and happen in a matter of moments). The vast majority in this group give up before finishing ½ of the joke, and scroll to the end.

People in the first group, who read the entire joke, tend to enjoy the journey of life, and take their time as they move towards a goal. When traveling, they tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and are not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to their destination. They also tend to be very attentive, patient and long lasting lovers, and enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

Those in the second group, who scroll to the end before reading more than a few sentences of the joke, tend to avoid surprises and the unknown. They prefer to have a regular schedule and not to step out of their routine. They tend to be efficient, but are often lacking in enjoyment, spontaneity and passion. They tend to be less patient and more interested in the destination than the journey. When on a trip, they tend to focus on getting where they are going, rather than enjoying the process. During intimacy, they tend to not be able to enjoy it unless they are certain it will be taken to completion. The idea of just “playing around� a while, engaging in physical intimacy without the promise of full completion is, rather than simply enjoyable and connective, considered to be “cruel� and a “teasing� and is met with resentment. This group’s ability to enjoy depends largely on their need to know what is going to happen. They tend to be more self-focused lovers, and tend not to last very long in satisfying the other partner if their own satisfaction has happened or is within easy reach.

The third group, who decided not to read the entire joke after reading a third or more of it, tend to be commitment-phobic and lack the ability to move forward to completion when things become challenging. They are often procrastinators and frequently give up on tasks when they become more difficult. They tend to prefer to have big dreams than act on them in the real, challenging world. A significantly higher percentage of this group had Cesarean birth, and may not have had the benefit of that early experience of struggle and effort being rewarded with accomplishment. This group tends to not take big vacations which would take more effort to plan and implement, and tends to stay close to home or even stay home during time off. Promotions and career moves which are within reach but still require some effort and focus are frequently not fully tried for, although the perception will be they were passed up. In intimate relationships, this group tends to start out romantic and passionate, but it quickly fades and is replaced by lackadaisicalness and indifference, characterized in part by a sense of feeling it is not worth the effort to continue having a passionate, energized and complete experience during intimacy. There is a tendency to “peter out� both in intimacy and in other aspects of life, and to take the easier road, even if it leads to a less fulfilling life.

This summary of the thesis results is not intended in any way to offer advice or therapy, nor is it intended to infer anything about whether anyone reading this page does or does not fit the personality profiles described.

Hope this proves what well adjusted people we all are :eek:

[Bent]

I would just like to say that I skipped ahead on that thesis part....so I don't know whats funny....I waited an entire day to post this, as I was so disturbed that I had to think about it for a while and then cry myself to sleep....My wife read the post and laughed...I still don't know why, as I am to busy to spend my time with this....I hate myself.....


~Wait...OHHHHH I get it...Peter Out!!!! HAHAHAHAHA you said PETER!!!!

[Flawed]

Ahem!........ er.........what the! Bubba?!

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: A Pork Chop!

Q: How can you get four suits for a pound?
A: Buy a deck of cards!

Q: Why don't dogs make good dancers?
A: They have two left feet.

Q: What did mother broom say to baby broom?
A: It's time to go to sweep.

Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?
A: Had a byte!

-----

A man is driving down a road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks to the middle of the field where the farmer is and asks, "Ah excuse me, mister, are you okay? What are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well, I head they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

-----

An Irishman was terribly overweight so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS! "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The Irishman nodded ..... "I'll tell you though, I t'aut I were going to drop dead dad 3rd day."

"From hunger?" asked the doctor.

"No, from de skippin'!!!!!"

[lokiman]

How are Rock bands and Chickens similar?




They both have drumsticks!

[Gothos]

I absolutely don't get the 3 groups joke, but. I took my time reading it all as I always do with long jokes, but I'd say I fit more into the 3rd group.

what's funny about petering out?

[Grumble]

Gothos;240053 said:

I absolutely don't get the 3 groups joke, but. I took my time reading it all as I always do with long jokes, but I'd say I fit more into the 3rd group.

what's funny about petering out?

Did you read the original joke ?

[Gothos]

erm which one?

[Shiara]

Number 10

Life is sexually transmitted.



Number 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



Number 8

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.

If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.



Number 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.



Number 6

Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.



Number 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.



Number 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

It pays no attention to criticism.



Number 3

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?



Number 2

In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird.

Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.



AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008:

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in Australia, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.



And the BONUS thought for today "Life is like a jar of pickled chillies.

What you do today, might burn your arse tomorrow".

[Cold Iron]

Shiara;240109 said:

Number 8

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.

If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

I just ate...

[Leoman]

What if you're hungry aaaand horny?

[Shiara]

Leoman;240120 said:

What if you're hungry aaaand horny?

Then you get a sandwich. It doesn't say anything about what is to be done if a man is horny

[Leoman]

Ah, i see.
We get to use our imagination. :bad:

[lokiman]

Eat your wife out.

[Leoman]

Good call.

[lokiman]

Why do farts smell?

So deaf people can enjoy them too!

[cauthon]

If you are hungry and horny, you eat a pussy.

[Bent]

ok back to jokes

knock knock

whos there

impatient cow!

Impatient cow...


Moooooo!!


ha ha

[Lancelot]

Katie Couric, of American CBS News programme, while interviewing a Royal Marine sniper in Afghanistan, asked:



"What do you feel when you shoot a Taliban Fighter?"



The Marine shrugged and replied,



"A slight recoil."



Hard to fault a Marine who is that eloquent!!

[Flawed]

Ahem...............

Q: What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
A: Tooth hurty.

Q: Who likes to drink cocoa?
A: A cocoa-nut.

Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Between you and me, something smells.

Q: What did the teacher say when it rained cats and dogs?
A: Be careful not to step on a poodle.

Q: Who is the greatest underwater spy?
A: James Pond.

Q: What sickness does a martial artist have?
A: Kung Flu.

-----

Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach. The lady lobster suggested to the gentleman lobster to get them each an ice cream. Having purchased two ice cream cones, Mr Lobster made his way back to the beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time he had finished it, he noticed that his lady friend's ice cream had started to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up eating it.

When he arrived back at the beach, his lady lobster friend exclaimed, "Where are the ice creams?"

"Well," he said, "I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate that too."

His lady friend was incensed and cried, "You shellfish creep!!!"

-----

A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. Looking at the string, the bartender said, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here."

"What? That sucks," said the string. So he walks into the bathroom and ties himself up and messes up his ends. A couple of moments later, he walks back into the bar and approaches the bar again and once more orders a drink.

"Hey, aren't you the string I refused to serve earlier?" asks the bartender.

"Nope. I'm a frayed knot."

[q21]

someone has already posted that third joke in here somewhere Flawed.