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Cause - The Malazan Yank visits London? Easter vacation

#1 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 08:48 AM

My fellow Malazans.

I have two friends who have immigrated to the UK recently and have offered me free accommodation So I'm thinking of popping over to the land of tea and crumpets over the Easter holidays. 4 days leave can net me ten days in London (April 19th-28th).

So who is available for an epic 'OMG Cause is finally here meet up'. Tiste, consider arranging a police parade in my honor.

What is there to do in London?

What is there to do near London?

What food, sweets must I try that are unique to the UK/Europe.
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#2 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 09:16 AM

Things to do:

1) Help Tiste solve a murder and impress the other detectives. Repeatedly say 'we are too old for this shit'. Celebrate a successful case by going to a nearby PUB and 'cracking open a cold one'

2) HP: Cursed child parts 1&2 book early (not cheap!)

3) London Ferris wheel

4) Stonehenge

5) Changing of the guard

6) Go to a castle, which one?

7) Go to a museum about medieval England

8) Go to a PUB, master darts

9) Where is HMS victory?

Thoughts:

Will Easter be crazy crowded?
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#3 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 09:34 AM

Bugger all!
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#4 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 10:20 AM

View PostCause, on 16 January 2019 - 09:16 AM, said:

Things to do:

1) Help Tiste solve a murder and impress the other detectives. Repeatedly say 'we are too old for this shit'. Celebrate a successful case by going to a nearby PUB and 'cracking open a cold one'


There's your first hurdle - Pomgolians drink their beer ... warm!

:p

But thankfully being used to foreigners constantly improving their culture, proper cold beer is available. You just need to know the secret handshake and password.

Also, as a Saffer they'll probably try to recuit you to their cricket team when you land at Heathrow.
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#5 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 10:52 AM

View PostTsundoku, on 16 January 2019 - 10:20 AM, said:

View PostCause, on 16 January 2019 - 09:16 AM, said:

Things to do:

1) Help Tiste solve a murder and impress the other detectives. Repeatedly say 'we are too old for this shit'. Celebrate a successful case by going to a nearby PUB and 'cracking open a cold one'


There's your first hurdle - Pomgolians drink their beer ... warm!

:)

But thankfully being used to foreigners constantly improving their culture, proper cold beer is available. You just need to know the secret handshake and password.

Also, as a Saffer they'll probably try to recuit you to their cricket team when you land at Heathrow.


Who said anything about beer? :p

Also I was a saffer in a former life. Its like a dream now. I am now American, I'm loud and I say things like Band-Aid. I play the American football and support the Brooklyn nets because the NY nicks suck! Go Giants!
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#6 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 12:10 PM

Never go full American.
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#7 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 12:32 PM

I can neither confirm nor deny that cracking open a cold one has anything to do with certain untrue rumours about me from a few years back!
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#8 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 12:52 PM

They won't be here for much longer if the Tories have their way.

HMS Victory I -think- is the galleon moored up in Portsmouth's old harbour?

In terms of what's good, our beer. Much better than that American swill. Just watch out for all the rampant poverty.
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#9 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 01:43 PM

I want a Guinness! The bubbles sink! Its magic. Okay its just physics. Its physics magic. Ill probably hate the taste.

You think you know rampant poverty? You merely adopted it. I was born into it, molded by it. I didn't know it was possible to stop at a traffic light without a beggar until I was already a man in the united states. (This meme kind of doesn't work here).

So come on. What does on do in London. Good restaurants? Where does one Chav watch? Fish and chips?
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#10 User is offline   Gorefest 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 02:23 PM

View PostCause, on 16 January 2019 - 01:43 PM, said:

I want a Guinness! The bubbles sink! Its magic. Okay its just physics. Its physics magic. Ill probably hate the taste.

You think you know rampant poverty? You merely adopted it. I was born into it, molded by it. I didn't know it was possible to stop at a traffic light without a beggar until I was already a man in the united states. (This meme kind of doesn't work here).

So come on. What does on do in London. Good restaurants? Where does one Chav watch? Fish and chips?



Seriously. Do not have a Guinness in London. Guinness should only be consumed in Ireland or in the north of the UK. It genuinely tastes much worse down south than it is supposed to. I suspect it is due to Guinness licensing different breweries to produce it and whomever does it in the south makes it taste bad.

What do you hope to get out of London? The standard sight seeing or the more niche stuff? It very much depends on what you are into. I always love visiting Camden Town. It is very 'alternative', lots of street markets, music, etc. But if you want something more standard then you can just go for a walk along the Thames, visiting Westminster and Buckingham Palace, and have a stroll through one of the many parks (Hyde, Regent, etc).

Then there are tons of museums. The beauty is that all museums in the UK are completely free of charge (although most art galleries do charge an entry fee). The standard choice is the British Museum, but if you want something more eclectic I can strongly recommend the Science Museum and the National History museum. These two museums are located next door to each other and you can easily spend a full day visiting the two of them. I can strongly recommend those if that is your thing.
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#11 User is offline   D'rek 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 06:14 PM

There's some tall guy named Ben. He must be real friendly 'cause everyone says they wanna visit him.

 worrywort, on 14 September 2012 - 08:07 PM, said:

I kinda love it when D'rek unleashes her nerd wrath, as I knew she would here. Sorry innocent bystanders, but someone's gotta be the kindling.
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#12 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 06:22 PM

You have to HAVE TO visit Fatberg. It's lovely this time of year. The cold weather will dampen the stench that wafts off it, so you should be able to take it in in all its glory.
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#13 User is offline   D'rek 

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Posted 16 January 2019 - 11:52 PM

View PostTiste Simeon, on 16 January 2019 - 12:32 PM, said:

I can neither confirm nor deny that cracking open a cold one has anything to do with certain untrue rumours about me from a few years back!


Oh lord I just got this...



...ew

 worrywort, on 14 September 2012 - 08:07 PM, said:

I kinda love it when D'rek unleashes her nerd wrath, as I knew she would here. Sorry innocent bystanders, but someone's gotta be the kindling.
1

#14 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 17 January 2019 - 09:11 AM

View PostFrosty McFrostface, on 16 January 2019 - 11:52 PM, said:

View PostTiste Simeon, on 16 January 2019 - 12:32 PM, said:

I can neither confirm nor deny that cracking open a cold one has anything to do with certain untrue rumours about me from a few years back!


Oh lord I just got this...



...ew


I don't remember how the joke started, just that it did
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#15 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 17 January 2019 - 09:15 AM

View PostGorefest, on 16 January 2019 - 02:23 PM, said:


What do you hope to get out of London? The standard sight seeing or the more niche stuff? It very much depends on what you are into. I always love visiting Camden Town. It is very 'alternative', lots of street markets, music, etc. But if you want something more standard then you can just go for a walk along the Thames, visiting Westminster and Buckingham Palace, and have a stroll through one of the many parks (Hyde, Regent, etc).

Then there are tons of museums. The beauty is that all museums in the UK are completely free of charge (although most art galleries do charge an entry fee). The standard choice is the British Museum, but if you want something more eclectic I can strongly recommend the Science Museum and the National History museum. These two museums are located next door to each other and you can easily spend a full day visiting the two of them. I can strongly recommend those if that is your thing.


A bit of both? Id love to see some of the standard stuff. Changing of the guard, or at least a guard. I have no care for the royal family and not sure I even care about Buckingham palace but the tower of London, lonon bridge etc sure. Picture with big ben sure. Science museum and natural history museum sound great (I went to the natural history museum in NY twice) and as I say a very old school castle and a museum about knights etc would be great. I see HMS victory is too far to be worth it but are there any other sailing ships I can see? I think maybe HP west end show is in order. HP theme park too?
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#16 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 17 January 2019 - 09:24 AM

I may or may not be in London, I'll know closer to the time.

do not drink Guinness in England anywhere.

Don't believe gorefest when he says its better up north, it is not. Guinness doesn't travel well and everything in the UK is brewed in Dublin, bars over here don't understand it needs to lie and settled for a while after transport. they don't understand the keg has to be hella close to the taps, it has to be running regularly every day, and it has to be poured properly and it takes 2 minutes to pour a pint.

I've been working in england and scotland for years and haven't got a good pint over here.
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#17 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 17 January 2019 - 09:53 AM

View PostMacros, on 17 January 2019 - 09:24 AM, said:

I may or may not be in London, I'll know closer to the time.

do not drink Guinness in England anywhere.

Don't believe gorefest when he says its better up north, it is not. Guinness doesn't travel well and everything in the UK is brewed in Dublin, bars over here don't understand it needs to lie and settled for a while after transport. they don't understand the keg has to be hella close to the taps, it has to be running regularly every day, and it has to be poured properly and it takes 2 minutes to pour a pint.

I've been working in england and scotland for years and haven't got a good pint over here.


Picture your giant sized hands shaking my small yank hands. London, be there!

Also I just realized. Cadbury cream eggs!
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#18 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 17 January 2019 - 01:03 PM

View PostCause, on 17 January 2019 - 09:11 AM, said:

View PostFrosty McFrostface, on 16 January 2019 - 11:52 PM, said:

View PostTiste Simeon, on 16 January 2019 - 12:32 PM, said:

I can neither confirm nor deny that cracking open a cold one has anything to do with certain untrue rumours about me from a few years back!


Oh lord I just got this...



...ew


I don't remember how the joke started, just that it did

I think it was Snake...

As for Creme eggs I just saw a Creme egg trifle in Sainsbury's. I really want to eat it but I'm also a bit scared of how bad it will be for me!

Also yeah don't drink Guinness over here there are loads of better ales and the like around.
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#19 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 17 January 2019 - 01:32 PM

View PostTiste Simeon, on 17 January 2019 - 01:03 PM, said:

View PostCause, on 17 January 2019 - 09:11 AM, said:

View PostFrosty McFrostface, on 16 January 2019 - 11:52 PM, said:

View PostTiste Simeon, on 16 January 2019 - 12:32 PM, said:

I can neither confirm nor deny that cracking open a cold one has anything to do with certain untrue rumours about me from a few years back!


Oh lord I just got this...



...ew


I don't remember how the joke started, just that it did

I think it was Snake...

As for Creme eggs I just saw a Creme egg trifle in Sainsbury's. I really want to eat it but I'm also a bit scared of how bad it will be for me!

Also yeah don't drink Guinness over here there are loads of better ales and the like around.


You have created the offspring, your line is secure. Eat the trifle, your health no longer matters
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#20 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 17 January 2019 - 01:57 PM

The Tower of London chalks off a castle and armouries in one hit as it houses part of the Royal Armouries collection. Last time I went they had some of Henry VIIIs suits of armour and lots of evil looking pikes and stuff, it was amazing. It's my favourite historical site in London.

Stonehenge is great and expensive but it's a bit of a trek from London so will take a full day from your itinerary but you could do that plus Salisbury which is perfect to chalk off "quaint old English city" (novichok not withstanding).

Fish and chips isn't worth it unless you are at a recommended spot by the seaside.

For changing of the guard just find out what time it is and be around Pall Mall at that time. It can be done with anything else in Central London.

Can't think of anything else but would be great to say hi if I'm free and able to come into London when you have your itinerary. It's unlikely over Easter Weekend though.
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