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Cause - The Malazan Yank! Tell me about the land of the Free, the home of the Brave!

#1 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 10:26 AM

So I am getting way ahead of myself but I like to plan things and I also kind of need to psych myself up for America. I have no idea when I will go, where I will stay or what I will do. I imagine it will mostly come down to where I can find work.

So here are some serious and some tongue and cheek questions about life in America. Feel free to share anything else you think is relevant.

Is yank insulting?

What is a sink Garbage disposal unit? It just means you can throw food scraps down the sink instead of the bin? I can see what that might be nice. Are they in every house? Is this a life changing invention or just a nice to have? Do the increase the amount of plumbing problems?

What is the toaster oven? Why not use an oven?

Whats with stove top Kettles? This is 2018! I am led to believe this is due to America using a 110v instead of the superior 220v. That said when I was in japan they had electrical kettles. Do they just take longer?

Which gun should I get for home defense? A glock 17/19, an AR-15 or a Remington shotgun? I’m thinking a 9mm glock for a nice ammo capacity and for its ease of use inside a home. However, I believe everyone always suggests a shotgun but in the close confines of a house the buckshot wont spread very wide so its not like you won’t need to aim and I am led to believe over penetration is a real danger. Lastly if the criminals are wearing IIIA body armor I will need an AR-15 to stop them! (Note to self-stop watching American youtube presenters, get body armor). Does the average America household have an alarm system, even apartments?

Which states do not experience snow in Winter?

What will it take short of a miracle to adopt the metric system! Seriously WTF is a gallon? Do you realize how imprecise measuring to the nearest Ounce is? Will one ever get used to Imperial?

I am pro-choice. I strongly believe in the separation of church and state. I am pro-gay rights. Neutral on death penalty (not opposed morally but believe the system is flawed). I believe that a progressive tax system makes sense but I also believe that taxes should be as low as possible and that the markets should be left to govern according to supply and demand where possible. Does this make me a democrat? Is it okay to wish to their was a more central party in American politics?

Can Americans cross the border into Canada and Mexico essentially at will?

Do people in high school really wear their letterman jackets and cheerleader uniforms all the time?

I think baseball and Football seem boring as hell. Could maybe watch Ice hockey and basketball. Do people generally support their own state or do people tend to just support whoever they feel like as in the PSL.

Is it true that Chuck E cheese, the cheesecake factory and the Olive garden are actually real chains?

What is the Woolworths of America?

Why does your chocolate taste so bad?

Are there any states not built on fault lines, next to a volcano, below sea level or not in the path of hurricanes?

This post has been edited by Cause: 27 August 2018 - 10:26 AM

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#2 User is offline   Morgoth 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 10:56 AM

it's hard for me to answer any of the cultural stuff, but Democrats are by no rational measure left wing. Republicans are far right, religious nationalists, and the democrats are right wing neo liberals.

And congratulations! Whatever troubles the US have these days, from what you've written the last few years I think you need and deserve some time away from SA.

This post has been edited by Morgoth: 27 August 2018 - 10:57 AM

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#3 User is offline   LinearPhilosopher 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 11:25 AM

View PostCause, on 27 August 2018 - 10:26 AM, said:

So I am getting way ahead of myself but I like to plan things and I also kind of need to psych myself up for America. I have no idea when I will go, where I will stay or what I will do. I imagine it will mostly come down to where I can find work.

So here are some serious and some tongue and cheek questions about life in America. Feel free to share anything else you think is relevant.

Is yank insulting?

Probably

What is a sink Garbage disposal unit? It just means you can throw food scraps down the sink instead of the bin? I can see what that might be nice. Are they in every house? Is this a life changing invention or just a nice to have? Do the increase the amount of plumbing problems?

What is the toaster oven? Why not use an oven?

Its a toaster with a higher capacity. Its an in between a toaster and an oven. There situational where an oven is overkill, but a regular toaster isn't enough.

Whats with stove top Kettles? This is 2018! I am led to believe this is due to America using a 110v instead of the superior 220v. That said when I was in japan they had electrical kettles. Do they just take longer?

Both are a thing. Depends on what you have in your house. If you're using natural gas for heating, it could be cheaper than electricity. Both get you the same result.

Which gun should I get for home defense? A glock 17/19, an AR-15 or a Remington shotgun? Iím thinking a 9mm glock for a nice ammo capacity and for its ease of use inside a home. However, I believe everyone always suggests a shotgun but in the close confines of a house the buckshot wont spread very wide so its not like you wonít need to aim and I am led to believe over penetration is a real danger. Lastly if the criminals are wearing IIIA body armor I will need an AR-15 to stop them! (Note to self-stop watching American youtube presenters, get body armor). Does the average America household have an alarm system, even apartments?


Assuming you are in a decent neighbourhood this shouldn't be a concern.

Which states do not experience snow in Winter?
googles likely your best answer

What will it take short of a miracle to adopt the metric system! Seriously WTF is a gallon? Do you realize how imprecise measuring to the nearest Ounce is? Will one ever get used to Imperial?

Nothing short of a miracle. Getting used to imperial just takes living. Canada's a hybrid in that we use imperial for height and cooking but metric for other things

I am pro-choice. I strongly believe in the separation of church and state. I am pro-gay rights. Neutral on death penalty (not opposed morally but believe the system is flawed). I believe that a progressive tax system makes sense but I also believe that taxes should be as low as possible and that the markets should be left to govern according to supply and demand where possible. Does this make me a democrat? Is it okay to wish to their was a more central party in American politics?

Can Americans cross the border into Canada and Mexico essentially at will?

You're going to need a passport bare minimum. Also since you're not an american citizen you'll like need a visa or passport from SA. You'd have to dig into this yourself to figure out how far a SA passport will get you.
Do people in high school really wear their letterman jackets and cheerleader uniforms all the time?

I think baseball and Football seem boring as hell. Could maybe watch Ice hockey and basketball. Do people generally support their own state or do people tend to just support whoever they feel like as in the PSL.

Is it true that Chuck E cheese, the cheesecake factory and the Olive garden are actually real chains?

Never heard of the olive garden, but the others are chains. Also IHOP is amazing, im hitting on every time i go south
What is the Woolworths of America?

Why does your chocolate taste so bad?

Americans don't have a refined palette is the short answer. Also portion sizes are massive in states. A Large pop/soda at a fast food restaurant is over a liter of liquid.

Are there any states not built on fault lines, next to a volcano, below sea level or not in the path of hurricanes?

You forgot to mention tornados


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#4 User is offline   Vengeance 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 11:51 AM

Yank is insulting in the south. Not in the north.

Florida doesn't get snow. A state is huge. Parts of a lot of states don't get snow. It completely covers others in the north. The further north you are the more likely to see snow.

I agree about the metric system. A gallon is 4 quarts.

I have an electronic tea kettle.

We used to. But now thanks to freedom we need passports to get back.

You don't need a gun for home defense. Unless you live in a neighborhood where crime is a concern. No most people don't have a gun or an alarm system. At least most people where I live. I do have an alarm system. But the majority do not.

Highschoolers will if on the cheerleader team but only on game days. A lettered player might during the winter. But not when it is warm out.

Yes they are. God help you if you have to go to any of them. If you are in a decent city there will be plenty of none chain restaurants.

No idea what Woolworths is? A candy?

Because of freedom. Stay away from milk chocolate. Dark chocolate is ok.

Yes but they are in tornado alley and suck. Stay away from them.
How many fucking people do I have to hammer in order to get that across.
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#5 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 11:52 AM

Lol. Give me awhile. Mondays are stupid busy. Yank is not offensive unless you are south of the Mason-Dixon line. (The Confederacy).
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father...
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#6 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 11:54 AM

Woolworths is a general store, Venge.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father...
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#7 User is offline   Gintokian 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 12:53 PM

Speaking as a Canadian, I agree with you about football but baseball can be exciting once you understand the rules and the intricacies of the game.
Ice hockey (normally referred to as just "hockey") is the best game around, most fast-paced and exciting. People generally cheer for the teams closest to them but that's not universal. I'm a big Leafs fan because I grew up outside Toronto (and because they're amazing) but I have a friend who likes the New York Islanders.

As for travelling between the Canada and the US, it's fairly easy. Not sure for people from outside NA but when I went to the States last week I just gave them my passport at the border, answered a few simple questions (what is your purpose, how long are you going for, where to, bringing any weapons) and they let us go, took just a couple minutes. The lines are long for crossing, although that depends where you cross, it took us 10 minutes crossing from Quebec into Vermont but an hour getting back from Buffalo to Port Erie, so it depends where you are and what day it is.
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#8 User is offline   LinearPhilosopher 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 01:14 PM

View PostGintokian, on 27 August 2018 - 12:53 PM, said:

Speaking as a Canadian, I agree with you about football but baseball can be exciting once you understand the rules and the intricacies of the game.
Ice hockey (normally referred to as just "hockey") is the best game around, most fast-paced and exciting. People generally cheer for the teams closest to them but that's not universal. I'm a big Leafs fan because I grew up outside Toronto (and because they're amazing) but I have a friend who likes the New York Islanders.

As for travelling between the Canada and the US, it's fairly easy. Not sure for people from outside NA but when I went to the States last week I just gave them my passport at the border, answered a few simple questions (what is your purpose, how long are you going for, where to, bringing any weapons) and they let us go, took just a couple minutes. The lines are long for crossing, although that depends where you cross, it took us 10 minutes crossing from Quebec into Vermont but an hour getting back from Buffalo to Port Erie, so it depends where you are and what day it is.


Leafs are amazing? What is this the humour section?
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#9 User is offline   Gintokian 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 02:27 PM

View PostLinearPhilosopher, on 27 August 2018 - 01:14 PM, said:

View PostGintokian, on 27 August 2018 - 12:53 PM, said:

Speaking as a Canadian, I agree with you about football but baseball can be exciting once you understand the rules and the intricacies of the game.
Ice hockey (normally referred to as just "hockey") is the best game around, most fast-paced and exciting. People generally cheer for the teams closest to them but that's not universal. I'm a big Leafs fan because I grew up outside Toronto (and because they're amazing) but I have a friend who likes the New York Islanders.

As for travelling between the Canada and the US, it's fairly easy. Not sure for people from outside NA but when I went to the States last week I just gave them my passport at the border, answered a few simple questions (what is your purpose, how long are you going for, where to, bringing any weapons) and they let us go, took just a couple minutes. The lines are long for crossing, although that depends where you cross, it took us 10 minutes crossing from Quebec into Vermont but an hour getting back from Buffalo to Port Erie, so it depends where you are and what day it is.


Leafs are amazing? What is this the humour section?


Those are fighting words my friend. That may have been true a few years ago but with the team they have now there's a really good chance we could win the cup sometime in the next few years.
In the language of flowers corn stands for trust.
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#10 User is offline   LinearPhilosopher 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 02:41 PM

View PostGintokian, on 27 August 2018 - 02:27 PM, said:

View PostLinearPhilosopher, on 27 August 2018 - 01:14 PM, said:

View PostGintokian, on 27 August 2018 - 12:53 PM, said:

Speaking as a Canadian, I agree with you about football but baseball can be exciting once you understand the rules and the intricacies of the game.
Ice hockey (normally referred to as just "hockey") is the best game around, most fast-paced and exciting. People generally cheer for the teams closest to them but that's not universal. I'm a big Leafs fan because I grew up outside Toronto (and because they're amazing) but I have a friend who likes the New York Islanders.

As for travelling between the Canada and the US, it's fairly easy. Not sure for people from outside NA but when I went to the States last week I just gave them my passport at the border, answered a few simple questions (what is your purpose, how long are you going for, where to, bringing any weapons) and they let us go, took just a couple minutes. The lines are long for crossing, although that depends where you cross, it took us 10 minutes crossing from Quebec into Vermont but an hour getting back from Buffalo to Port Erie, so it depends where you are and what day it is.


Leafs are amazing? What is this the humour section?


Those are fighting words my friend. That may have been true a few years ago but with the team they have now there's a really good chance we could win the cup sometime in the next few years.


Ill believe it when I see it

Also wasn't that 2013 playoff run the won where the leafs blew a 3 point lead in the last 10 minutes of the 3rd period ;)?

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This post has been edited by LinearPhilosopher: 27 August 2018 - 02:42 PM

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#11 User is offline   Gintokian 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 03:11 PM

View PostLinearPhilosopher, on 27 August 2018 - 02:41 PM, said:

View PostGintokian, on 27 August 2018 - 02:27 PM, said:

View PostLinearPhilosopher, on 27 August 2018 - 01:14 PM, said:

View PostGintokian, on 27 August 2018 - 12:53 PM, said:

Speaking as a Canadian, I agree with you about football but baseball can be exciting once you understand the rules and the intricacies of the game.
Ice hockey (normally referred to as just "hockey") is the best game around, most fast-paced and exciting. People generally cheer for the teams closest to them but that's not universal. I'm a big Leafs fan because I grew up outside Toronto (and because they're amazing) but I have a friend who likes the New York Islanders.

As for travelling between the Canada and the US, it's fairly easy. Not sure for people from outside NA but when I went to the States last week I just gave them my passport at the border, answered a few simple questions (what is your purpose, how long are you going for, where to, bringing any weapons) and they let us go, took just a couple minutes. The lines are long for crossing, although that depends where you cross, it took us 10 minutes crossing from Quebec into Vermont but an hour getting back from Buffalo to Port Erie, so it depends where you are and what day it is.


Leafs are amazing? What is this the humour section?


Those are fighting words my friend. That may have been true a few years ago but with the team they have now there's a really good chance we could win the cup sometime in the next few years.


Ill believe it when I see it

Also wasn't that 2013 playoff run the won where the leafs blew a 3 point lead in the last 10 minutes of the 3rd period ;)?


We don't talk about that, the wound is still too fresh...

Also that team didn't have Austin Matthews, Mitch Marner, William Nylander, and our newest superstar addition, John Tavares. Plus a goalie that is actually really good helps. We haven't had a team this good in a long long time.
The Leafs will rise again
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#12 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 03:51 PM

- Yank is not insulting. We have a professional baseball team called the Yankees.

- Garbage disposals are nice. Not in every house though, but are very common. They make cleaning dishes a lot faster. Don't dump rice or grease/fat down there though. Also, don't turn on if there is a fork in there or your hand.

- A toaster oven is bigger an can be used to make miniature bagel pizzas and delicious breakfast sandwiches. In other words it's not just limited to toasting bread. You can load up your bread/bagel with toppings and heat/bake them. I guess you could essentially uses a full size oven to do the same, but toaster ovens are just so much more convenient.

- Stove top Kettles are pretty self explanatory. If you're used to electric kettles to boil water for tea, well stove top kettles serve the same function, cept you just boil water on your "stove top"

- For home defense, a shot gun is nice, especially the pump action kind that makes that satisfying noise when you arm it. I remember my 9th grade history teacher gave our class that advise. He said just get a pump action shot gun, when the home invaders hear that distinct noise, they will high tail it out of there. He also told us if you shoot some one dead trying to come through your door and the body falls outside, to pull them inside before you call the police. He was a Vietnam vet. But for my money, the best home defense is a Rottweiler dog. I have one and sleep soundly every night.

- Mostly states in the south don't experience snow. If you live in one of those states and they have the rare occasion where it does snow, everyone freaks out and dirves like assholes on the roads because they don't know how to deal with it.

- We made a push (some time in the 1970s I believe) to transition to the metric system. It didn't take. Hey, we're Americans. I guess we like to do things our way.

- Sounds like your a fiscal conservative and socially liberal. I suggest you be independent like me and millions of others. The two party Democrat/Republican party ideas are essentially the same thing, IMO. They just prioritize things differently. Plus, the two party system is designed in a way to keep the status quo structures in place.

- Wearing the letterman jackets is a thing. If you're really a boss guy, you'll be a multi sport athlete and get multiple patches your mom can sew on showing all the sports you're a stud in.

- As far as pro sports allegiance, it varies. I support Pittsburgh area teams because that is where my dad is from, so growing up (and still) I tend to cheer for them because my dad cheered for them. Although I do cheer for my home teams too. Also, there are those who just like to cheer for the teams who have the biggest "brands" so to speak. Like the Dallas Cowboys, NY Yankees. Sort of like cheering for Man. U. in the PL.

- Chuck E Cheese is pizza. Designed for parents to have children's parties. There's the creepy animatronic performing animal band. Olive Garden is real. People love the bottomless bread stick baskets. Gross

- Woolworths is the Duckwalls of the midwest or the Burlington Coat Factory of the west.

- Our chocolate is really made from bitter struggle and blood from years of treacherous actions to obtain this land from sea to shining sea. It's our curse for these histories.

- Yes, but you don't want to live in those states, they're boring. Plus with widespread fracking, pretty much every state has a fault line.

Most importantly, don't be anxious or timid or afraid coming here. We're not like a lot of European countries who look down on "outsiders" (don't believe the narrative you see on the news). We are an open and friendly society. Don't be afraid to make new firends and talk to people and ask for help. You'll be surprised, coming here with preconceptions, how wrong they are. You'l want to stay once you have spent some time here. And it truly is god's country. Get out and travel and see the sights. There's nothing like them in all the world and so diverse too. Deserts, oceans, mountains, plains and open land for as far as the eye can see. Stuff that will make your heart soar and inspire you and think of the unimaginable possibilities.
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#13 User is online   Beaver Killia 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 04:50 PM

I would recommend looking into Houston area. Lots of medical opportunities. Learn Spanish though if you do. I ll always reco my beautiful wonderful state of Louisiana. My area is booming though idk what medical opportunities are like. Google Lake Charles and see. Definitely wouldnít use the word yank in the Gulf states. Snow is rare hence me FREAKING THE FUCK OUT on here in sheer magical delight any time I see it. Weather wise itís wet muggy heat in July and August(though this is the coolest August in ages) with cold crisp snow free winters, it will occasionally get below freezing in January. There are Hurricane scares though. Tornadoes are rare. Massive fires donít happen here like on the scale of the ones on west coast I should say. They are much more easily put out. No earthquakes.

Itís a lovely place but flat terrain wise.

Good luck.

This post has been edited by PARADISE is here bitches: 27 August 2018 - 05:03 PM

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#14 User is offline   Vengeance 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 06:26 PM

Stay away from the south. Bugs the size of your head and grits... Shudder.

Flat terrain is stupid. It leads to weirdness. Go to the Pacific NW. Oregon/Washington and northern California. Mountains and temperate valleys and the coasts all within a couple of hours of each other.
How many fucking people do I have to hammer in order to get that across.
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#15 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 07:02 PM

Pretty much guaranteed you will love it, Cause. I never wanted to move to the US because I prefer the UK as a society but without dissing SA I'm reasonably sure you'll find the pro's of the US a lot bigger for a few years at least. I love going to the US on holiday and for work travel.

The biotech hubs are Boston, NY and California around both San Francisco and San Diego. All of those places are awesome but there are loads of other centres of excellence around the country.
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#16 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 07:13 PM

The thing about garbage disposals is they usually have a light switch next to them, and you're not gonna remember which is which, and you're gonna scare yourself half to death by hitting the wrong one every once in a while.

If you are socially liberal and fiscally conservative (aside from the occasional half-dozen simultaneous wars of choice), you are definitely a mainline Democrat. You just might have to get some vertebrae removed, and we don't have universal health care, so good luck with the medical bills.

I am not sure from your question whether you want snow or not, but Malan is right about the drivers. If you hit the southwest, you get the bonus of the same phenomenon whenever it rains too. How good a driver are you btw?
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#17 User is offline   Vengeance 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 08:39 PM

I guess Woolworths equivalent might be Walmart..shudder.. or Target.
How many fucking people do I have to hammer in order to get that across.
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#18 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 09:27 PM

There goes 20 minutes wasted. Stupid fucking computer.
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#19 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 09:29 PM

I think they about covered everything.

Never heard of yank being offensive.
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#20 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 09:30 PM

View PostSlow Ben, on 27 August 2018 - 09:29 PM, said:

I think they about covered everything.

Never heard of yank being offensive.


Really? Its been spat at me before with venom.
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