Malazan Empire: How do you post and/or poop? - Malazan Empire

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How do you post and/or poop?

#161 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 21 August 2013 - 02:04 PM

What features does a £9000 toilet have??
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#162 User is offline   rhulad 

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Posted 21 August 2013 - 02:19 PM

View PostTiste Simeon, on 21 August 2013 - 02:04 PM, said:

What features does a £9000 toilet have??


I'm curious about this as well.
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#163 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 21 August 2013 - 04:08 PM

The lid lifts for you automatically and it has a heated seat and a rumours abound about a remote control feature, but I've yet to see it, all in all, nit much over your standard toilet. Very comfortable seat mind.
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#164 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 21 August 2013 - 06:01 PM

I'd expect at least a gentle shoulder massage while you were pooping or something. Maybe it takes your poop & delivers it to the doorstep of your enemies mum? That would be cool...
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#165 User is offline   Sir Thursday 

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Posted 22 August 2013 - 12:58 PM

View PostMacros, on 21 August 2013 - 04:08 PM, said:

The lid lifts for you automatically and it has a heated seat and a rumours abound about a remote control feature, but I've yet to see it, all in all, nit much over your standard toilet. Very comfortable seat mind.


Oh, are those the toilets it's possible to hack into? http://www.forbes.co...s-hacked-video/
Don't look now, but I think there's something weird attached to the bottom of my posts.
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#166 User is offline   Salt-Man Z 

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Posted 22 August 2013 - 04:07 PM

Quote

How do you post and/or poop?

I generally do both sitting down.
"Here is light. You will say that it is not a living entity, but you miss the point that it is more, not less. Without occupying space, it fills the universe. It nourishes everything, yet itself feeds upon destruction. We claim to control it, but does it not perhaps cultivate us as a source of food? May it not be that all wood grows so that it can be set ablaze, and that men and women are born to kindle fires?"
―Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
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#167 User is offline   Salt-Man Z 

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Posted 22 August 2013 - 04:11 PM

View PostMacros, on 21 August 2013 - 01:31 PM, said:

If they look like tar, you had a rip of pints of Guinness the night before.

Or you're a newborn.

Or...both, I guess?
"Here is light. You will say that it is not a living entity, but you miss the point that it is more, not less. Without occupying space, it fills the universe. It nourishes everything, yet itself feeds upon destruction. We claim to control it, but does it not perhaps cultivate us as a source of food? May it not be that all wood grows so that it can be set ablaze, and that men and women are born to kindle fires?"
―Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
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#168 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 28 August 2013 - 09:30 AM

New house has 2 toilets! Double the pooponderance!
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#169 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 30 August 2013 - 10:38 AM

Last poop at home before I go to Liverpool and the ManU match. My stomach's knotted up into a black hole. Why do I do this to myself. We were doing so well, then I have to go and ruin it all by actually going to the match. Haven't I learned anything from that dreadful 2009/2010 season? Apparently not...

YNPA!
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#170 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 30 August 2013 - 05:56 PM

dont you fucking DARE jinx us you bastard!
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#171 User is offline   NefaraisBredd 

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 02:42 AM

I think that people post their opinions here because they love these books and they have so many impressions/questions. It.is.normal for people to.want.to.share their ideas about literature, especially good literature. So, if you love the books, talk.about them! Feel free to post your 'two cents'
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#172 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 03:50 AM

What?

5am poop, got a 3 hour drive to Stirling for work today, no way I'm brewing for that long.
will likely poop in the woman's prison again today.
2012
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#173 User is offline   Una 

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 05:59 AM

I am not inclined to discuss my poop in this setting, but I would like to congratulate everyone for reaching 10 pages.

Somehow I did not think people who do not live in a retirement home would like to talk so much about their own bowel movements, but you prove me wrong.

This post has been edited by Una: 31 August 2013 - 06:01 AM

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#174 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 05:33 PM

How many pages would we have to get to before you start talking about your poop Una?

Bryn, I really hope you & your nervous poop does jynx the match! :)
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#175 User is offline   NefaraisBredd 

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 05:37 PM

I can honestly say that I read most of SE whilst pooping.
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#176 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 06:16 PM

Tiste Simeon said:

1377108106[/url]' post='1080588']
I'd expect at least a gentle ball massage while you were pooping or something...



THAT, I might dish out 5K for.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
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#177 User is offline   Una 

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 09:15 PM

View PostTiste Simeon, on 31 August 2013 - 05:33 PM, said:

How many pages would we have to get to before you start talking about your poop Una?


I am a female. When we go to the ladies' room, we like to leave the impression that we really are just going in there to powder our noses and reapply our lipstick. That's why the line-up is so long. There's only so much room in front of the mirror and some people take forever preening in front of it. Posted Image In other words, never. But nice try.

This post has been edited by Una: 31 August 2013 - 11:42 PM

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#178 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 10:01 PM

But... You're among friends here!! :)
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
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#179 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 08:04 AM

10 pages?
what is this nonsense.

the ONLY way to view the forum is 40ppp (that's posts per page, not poops per page)

morning poop is brewing, gonna be a clinker
2012
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#180 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 05:21 PM

I average about 30 poops per page...
A Haunting Poem
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