Malazan Empire: How do you post and/or poop? - Malazan Empire

Jump to content

  • 26 Pages +
  • « First
  • 16
  • 17
  • 18
  • 19
  • 20
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

How do you post and/or poop?

#341 User is offline   Macros 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 8,929
  • Joined: 28-January 08
  • Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 17 January 2016 - 09:36 AM

Depending on the drink.
A rip of Guinness will generally leave me with something resembling turf.
A load of spirits, quite the opposite
0

#342 User is offline   Arthur Dayne 

  • Nuclear Baconator
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 83
  • Joined: 15-January 09
  • Location:St. Louis, Missouri. US
  • Interests:Cows and their subsequent steak, and pigs with their glorious bacon making capabilities.

Posted 18 January 2016 - 03:28 PM

I found out that if you eat a greasy burger at 2am after a night of drinking that my farts indicate how bad my next morning deuce will be. In this case, one whole room was evacuated for 5 minutes with fans and air neutralizer employed and the next morning I had to wipe down the underside of the bowl.
If your cat wasn't meant to fly, why wouldn't they make them bigger?
0

#343 User is offline   Arthur Dayne 

  • Nuclear Baconator
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 83
  • Joined: 15-January 09
  • Location:St. Louis, Missouri. US
  • Interests:Cows and their subsequent steak, and pigs with their glorious bacon making capabilities.

Posted 27 January 2016 - 02:10 PM

Spicy soup last night made for a rough morning. Pray for me to whatever God you believe in.
If your cat wasn't meant to fly, why wouldn't they make them bigger?
0

#344 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

  • Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 12,074
  • Joined: 08-October 04
  • Location:T'North

Posted 28 January 2016 - 09:20 AM

Last night I dunno what happened but the dump I dropped stank the whole house out despite windows being open and air freshener working on overtime. My wife was horrified and disgusted. I have never been so proud of myself.
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
1

#345 User is offline   Traveller 

  • exile
  • Group: Malazan Artist
  • Posts: 4,862
  • Joined: 04-January 08
  • Location:GSV Nothing To See Here

Posted 28 January 2016 - 09:47 AM

Yeah I managed the same feat on Sunday. We have three toilets in the house, I do try to choose the one that is furthest away from everyone, but on Sunday I managed something that could probably be weaponised - in the ensuite.

So typically, when I go downstairs, my wife says, I'm just going for a shower. I did suggest a bath instead, but she went off anyway, and I heard the shower start.

I couldn't help crack up when she came downstairs; her face said it all!

Even so, I was pretty proud about it.
So that's the story. And what was the real lesson? Don't leave things in the fridge.
0

#346 User is offline   Arthur Dayne 

  • Nuclear Baconator
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 83
  • Joined: 15-January 09
  • Location:St. Louis, Missouri. US
  • Interests:Cows and their subsequent steak, and pigs with their glorious bacon making capabilities.

Posted 28 January 2016 - 08:33 PM

So whatever I added into my day yesterday culminated into a fart that made both of the other people in my house wonder if I had broken a chair. It was glorious. I almost wiped before I pooped.
If your cat wasn't meant to fly, why wouldn't they make them bigger?
1

#347 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

  • Part Time Catgirl
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 4,261
  • Joined: 11-November 14
  • Location:Lether, apparently...
  • Interests:Redacted

Posted 29 January 2016 - 07:32 AM

The last few I've done at home have been toilet blockers to the point that wiping becomes an exercise in danger.
Debut novel 'Incarnate' now available on Kindle
0

#348 User is offline   Arthur Dayne 

  • Nuclear Baconator
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 83
  • Joined: 15-January 09
  • Location:St. Louis, Missouri. US
  • Interests:Cows and their subsequent steak, and pigs with their glorious bacon making capabilities.

Posted 01 February 2016 - 06:16 PM

I usually just jump in the shower at that point then hit the shower with a bottle of bleach. Some things you just don't want to mess around with.
If your cat wasn't meant to fly, why wouldn't they make them bigger?
0

#349 User is offline   Macros 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 8,929
  • Joined: 28-January 08
  • Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 20 February 2016 - 09:49 AM

Airport poop, Im relatively sure I've pooped in Manchester airport before though.

Coming soon to a poop thread near you, a whole new country for macros' poopessy.
Italy, brace thineself
0

#350 User is offline   Macros 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 8,929
  • Joined: 28-January 08
  • Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 20 February 2016 - 09:49 AM

Should it be the Poopessy of Macros?
0

#351 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

  • Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 12,074
  • Joined: 08-October 04
  • Location:T'North

Posted 21 February 2016 - 10:14 AM

Macros the Poopsmith
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
0

#352 User is offline   Macros 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 8,929
  • Joined: 28-January 08
  • Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 22 February 2016 - 07:06 AM

Pooping in Italy.
0

#353 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

  • Part Time Catgirl
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 4,261
  • Joined: 11-November 14
  • Location:Lether, apparently...
  • Interests:Redacted

Posted 22 February 2016 - 03:23 PM

Sometimes when I really gotta go but can't I have to ask those nearby to lend strength to my Spirit Bomb, and then my poop can beat Freiza.
Debut novel 'Incarnate' now available on Kindle
0

#354 User is offline   Macros 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 8,929
  • Joined: 28-January 08
  • Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 13 March 2016 - 12:26 PM

Quite a few stout last night.

Real solid black turf offering today, feel lighter
0

#355 User is offline   Macros 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 8,929
  • Joined: 28-January 08
  • Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 18 March 2016 - 11:41 AM

Pooping in a sewage treatment plant, so my poop gets flushed straight to the big tanks.

Its a serious Guinness poop, dark as pitch and solid as turf.

Good times
0

#356 User is offline   Arthur Dayne 

  • Nuclear Baconator
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 83
  • Joined: 15-January 09
  • Location:St. Louis, Missouri. US
  • Interests:Cows and their subsequent steak, and pigs with their glorious bacon making capabilities.

Posted 27 April 2016 - 08:25 PM

So i've been watching what I eat lately and trying to balance out a bit. Making sure I don't eat too much of this and too little of that kind of thing. Poops are starting to get on a bit of a schedule now but on my "free day" where I can sneak in something not so good for me as a reward, something bad finds it's way out. Damn you incentives. Why must you make me pay so dearly.
If your cat wasn't meant to fly, why wouldn't they make them bigger?
0

#357 User is offline   Macros 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 8,929
  • Joined: 28-January 08
  • Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 28 April 2016 - 10:40 AM

Being a regular pooper is great times, when Im on shift work with regular tea times etc, I could almost set my clock by the impending poop tummy rumblings
0

#358 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

  • Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 12,074
  • Joined: 08-October 04
  • Location:T'North

Posted 28 April 2016 - 08:47 PM

Had a nasty one today. Not been eating great this week. :)
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
0

#359 User is offline   Macros 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 8,929
  • Joined: 28-January 08
  • Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 13 May 2016 - 03:35 PM

relevant
0

#360 User is offline   Slow Ben 

  • Ranger
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 4,713
  • Joined: 29-September 08
  • Location:Southern Illinois

Posted 14 May 2016 - 05:08 PM

Halfway through a poo, my 2 year old runs in "Daddy I gotta pee!".

Stand up, help her on and off and wipe.

Sit down finish.


Parenting poop.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
0

Share this topic:


  • 26 Pages +
  • « First
  • 16
  • 17
  • 18
  • 19
  • 20
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

11 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 11 guests, 0 anonymous users