[Dolmen 2.0]

Macros, on 26 September 2013 - 03:06 PM, said:

Ok.
first off, I freely admit again that I am a horrible human being.
a horrid, procrastinating asshole.

on the other hand I think Ive finally got work round to idea that I am not an automaton capable of working every hour they desire, Subject only to their needs. So, with this in mind I will finally log i to the Bard account tonight and get this sorted.
I will be making a proper effort to make this on time from now on, as there seems to be some interest in this as well I don't want to let it die (provided it isn't too late)

Actually after apts post of the Sanderson writers class which I will now shamelessly link to here:

linkity link

The itch to write has never been this strong, at least for me that is. Glad to hear you scratching up some freetime, I mean who ever heard of a Scottish automaton anyway? can you imagine all the embarrassing metal kilt stories?

This post has been edited by Dolmen+: 26 September 2013 - 03:32 PM

[Macros]

Were I Scottish I would likely have heard a metal kilt story.

just finishing work now and heading up the road, expect activity by 6.30pm.

apt lectures things look quite interesting, possibly this could evolve in tandem with a work through of them (although Mal listening to branderson on writing could be painful...)

[The Bard]

Submissions for challenge 2 have been posted

when one says submissions they mean submission, only Dolmen finished and submitted a story but Macros has admitted to being a failure of a human being.

Spoiler

Brain surgeon

No good deed goes unpunished. Bitter thoughts felt like coming home. Pain and agony like walking in and pulling a brew out the cooler. Bitter cold and throbbing limbs waged war on the edges of my senses. This was big! I had too get away! Burning pain in the leg and across the left shoulder, the work of sharp edged steel and a 3 storey drop. Fun times on most days but today wasn't just any day was it? Today was a Monday, and it was bloody revenge at the office. The thought drew a chuckle and blood trickled out the corner of my mouth. It was snowing, Why the fuck was it always snowing. Looking up at the office block I'd dropped out of made my head spin. How the fuck was I still alive?

"Brinn?" the voice seemed to come from lightyears away, footsteps got closer.

"Taya?" My voice was hoarse, the question ground out like gravel from my throat, "Where the hell did you come from? thought you had something going on at the diner across the street?" ragged coughs and I spat out some blood,

"We all heard a..a noise, thought I'd step out and see what it was." She spoke haltingly, distracted by all the blood I'd spattered on the pavement.

Tayas voice was Sweet young and innocent. All I'd sacrificed for a shred of the truth. My thoughts grew into regret. And here we are. A bitch load of pain and booze addled death plucking at my liver. Another chuckle and fire shot through my ribs.

Taya got close enough to see the wreck I was. "Oh God, We need to get you a doctor Brinn!" Warm, urgent with genuine concern. Too bad she barely knew me, but then gain who did? Taya waved back at a few of the others that had stepped out. A couple of the bigger guys reached down to help me up, I groaned and some of them pulled hands back, drenched in blood.
Suzanne, another waitress I barely knew started checking on my shoulder. "God damn man! Brinn what the hell happened to you?" The reason came tumbling out a fourth storey window.A loud thud, something landed nearby. Guess thats it for plan B, I thought. Get on your feet Brinn. I screamed at my body to move, it refused to listen. Damn you, get up and get away. I need to let them know. looking at the people around me urged me on, our lives were at stake.

My Arms were raised before I knew it but I wasn't fast enough. The kick caught me in the side of my head, I rolled with it coming up with a .41 Magnum. My eyes were blurry and I felt like I was going to bring up dinner but my arm held fast. The guys that had tried to help me up grew pale when they saw my attacker. The Lazerai rose slowly, A short lean silhouette against the moonlit sky. Its feet never touched the ground, but the sound of foot falls reverberated along the street. Levitation was common for most of the Portal-born races.

My eyes cleared enough to make out a shock of neon blue hair and a row of dazzling blue teeth grinning back at me with hands raised out to the side in mock surrender, two cerulean blade handles stuck out the back of athletic shoulders like a pair of azure wings. It hadn't even bothered to draw them out, cocky little bastard. The creature smirked at the gun. Everyone except me cringed when the other worldly being finally spoke. Its voice was high yet rumbled deep. Each word it spoke you could feel.

"Come now Agent...Brinn was it? You know better than that."

I did. I dropped the gun. There goes Plan C.

"Very smart. " the creature gestured and the gun melted, becoming a dark and shiny liquid that flowed away towards an outstretched arm.

"Ladies and gentlemen...you need to leave."

They all made a run for it. The girl Taya was the only one to look back. I didn't blame them; Portalmen had been publicly accepted for thirty eight moderately calm years. A diplomatic acceptance of their kind had kept things nice between us and them stable. Despite this they were a new flavor to the world. What we fear is not how different they are, what's got us pissing ourselves is how similar we seem to be. It's all been one long, drawn out game. We were all just waiting to see who fucked over whom first. And I'm the lucky bastard that knows they've been screwing us over from the start.

The Lezerai chuckled turning its attention to me. "Your kind can be so painfully aware of your mortality."

I blinked and the Lezerai was instantly behind me. She was female. You could tell by the claws. She tore my shirt and leather jacket off as though they were made of paper. "I will heal you now Agent Brinn. I am well versed in such things. human anatomy fascinates me." I could hear the smile in her words "I guess you get that doctor after all?"

A searing texture slid along the wound on my shoulder. The pain redoubled and I gasped in agony. then I was numb. A minute passed and eventually the pain just faded away. I looked up to see the Lezerai crouched in front of me, hovering just a few feet above the ground. Her lips were smeared with blood...my blood. I reached up to my shoulder and found...nothing.
"You are healed. As I said, I am skilled in such things. Now we shall talk." She looked back at the office block we'd both tumbled out off. No alarms or warning lights flickered. The last thing her people needed was an official armed response.

"You, dear human, have stumbled onto something troublesome. I can't let you know the truth"

She drew out her sword. As she raised the blade my mind raced. It couldn't end like this. fuck! I needed to get away. I knew everything, I knew why they had come! I knew how to stop what was coming, I just needed to.

"wait!"

The blade slashed across my forehead, the agony and pain blazed across my being. Time stood still. A decade passed by me in a moment. something caessed me and a Numbing spread over my mind. words were whispered besides me within the ages.

"Like I said human. I am skilled in such things."

Eventually I awoke, someone touched my shoulder. A pretty girl with a warm and soothing voice. I startled awake, shirtless and cold, my knees drenched in wet snow. My joints ached. My head hurt...and I...

I couldn't remember my name.

This post has been edited by The Bard: 26 September 2013 - 05:40 PM

[Macros]

I liked the story, one thing that made me tilt my head and think at the end was, if he couldn't remember anything, how was he narrating in the first person?

I'm not a great critic, so the height of my creative input will be to tell you that I think you did well to create a scenario in such a short space that made me want to know more and follow it to a grander scale, and really want to know a bit of Brinn's past to find out whats made him so bitter.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Firstly. Thou art not Scottish Maccy?! That can not be! All I knoweth is a lie!

Macros, on 26 September 2013 - 05:49 PM, said:

I liked the story, one thing that made me tilt my head and think at the end was, if he couldn't remember anything, how was he narrating in the first person?

I'm not a great critic, so the height of my creative input will be to tell you that I think you did well to create a scenario in such a short space that made me want to know more and follow it to a grander scale, and really want to know a bit of Brinn's past to find out whats made him so bitter.

Secondly, This.

1000 words is really tight...maybe we should re-look the length and time structure?

The bane of my writing experience in a nutshell, I got so involved in creating Brinn! Had a back story and an idea for where He'd go from there. I had to create an adversary as well, borrowed the Portalman concept from an idea I had in mind a few years back. Brinn was a throw away character then, fleshing his story out really pleased me. as for how he knows who he is well, people with clinical amnesia can talk and work out math without knowledge of how they have the skill or why it applies, Brain damage is tricky. I thought that gave room for that last bit. The alien did heal him with that "caress" after all, which I actually imagine as another lick healing trick.

Who gets to pick the next phrase?

This post has been edited by Dolmen+: 26 September 2013 - 07:47 PM

[Macros]

I think we need to change the format a bit, I was turning the idea over in my head a bit this evening.
maybe just get someone not involved (maybe bounce into chat and ask) give us a story title or a theme?

maybe take away the 1000 limit and just put a time constraint on the set up. I'll pm the others who showed interest last round and keep on top of the deadline this time

[Grief]

I actually think the idea of having a tight limit is a good challenge, makes the whole thing interesting to see how people get their story across concisely, and when I've done similar things before has always felt like good practice for self-criticism and gauging which parts can be dropped or merged. Though that doesn't mean the limit always needs to be exactly the same, and I think it'd be interesting to vary it, I do think having one is a good idea.

If you then have more that you want to write, it's not like the word limit is actually stopping you

Hopefully I'll have time to take part at some point.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Yes! Agreeing with the whole thing shifting to a format without word limits but strict time constraints...I think I got something here aswell:

http://kathrineroid....riting-prompts/

These Prompts are perfect. they build and touch on various themes. I think this would be a concrete list to follow and submit every 2-3weeks?

If its cool then we can start officially this weekend?

This post has been edited by Dolmen+: 28 September 2013 - 01:23 AM

[Macros]

I'll check out the link at tea time, see what's what. Gather some recruits and go!

[Dolmen 2.0]

Macros, on 28 September 2013 - 07:10 AM, said:

I'll check out the link at tea time, see what's what. Gather some recruits and go!

Awesome, also really glad more people are showing interest! I hope you find the time to join in Grief.

Maccy, just keep in mind there are two lists and I tend to like both but the second list with the emotion Prompts spark more passion? I'd suggest following that one but maybe we vote on it?

Just had a thought, we have a few writers over on MAG...maybe an invite to them would get us more participation.

[Macros]

Make into like a writers workshop almost? I sure as hell know my writing needs work, if only to replace the word slumped


eta- holy big list batman!!
i thought it would be like 20 items, not 200

This post has been edited by Macros: 28 September 2013 - 09:09 AM

[Dolmen 2.0]

Macros, on 28 September 2013 - 09:07 AM, said:

Make into like a writers workshop almost? I sure as hell know my writing needs work, if only to replace the word slumped


eta- holy big list batman!!
i thought it would be like 20 items, not 200

Yep! Writers workshop feels like its got a better shelf life. We could have the same submissions thread and follow up with a discussions and voting thread. We vote for the preferred top 3 stories in relation to theme with a little feedback for the stories we choose listing what we liked and what we didn't and what could improve etc. The format could be more rewarding if we have a week of feedback for the last theme while the first week of the next theme is up and running.

This post has been edited by Dolmen+: 28 September 2013 - 09:19 AM

[Macros]

Could be a winner dolmen, I should be done with work relativly early today so can work something out to igbt

[Kaamos]

I might be interested in joining, time, bad vampire pr0n, and shoulder aches permitting. My inspiration has flown like a trodden-on slug lately, and could use some stimulant (not to mention keeping English grammar up to date).

[Macros]

ok, Dolmen, whats the target prompt?

[Dolmen 2.0]

Birth

reference
1.
a. The emergence and separation of offspring from the body of the mother.
b. The act or process of bearing young; parturition: the mare's second birth.
c. The circumstances or conditions relating to this event, as its time or location: an incident that took place before my birth; a Bostonian by birth.
2.
a. The set of characteristics or circumstances received from one's ancestors; inheritance: strong-willed by birth; acquired their wealth through birth.
b. Origin; extraction: of Swedish birth; of humble birth.
c. Noble or high status: persons of birth.
3. A beginning or commencement. See Synonyms at beginning.

AKA lets do this!

This post has been edited by Dolmen+: 30 September 2013 - 11:06 PM

[Macros]

Ok,timeframe and limitations you want set for this prompt?

[Dolmen 2.0]

Birth is a pretty general topic so maybe midnight on the 22nd of October at 12 Midnight GMT.

No need for a word limit, as long and as short as you like. No poems on their own, there must be a story being told. That said its free reign across Urban Fantasy, (Epic) Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Thriller and Western.

This post has been edited by Dolmen+: 01 October 2013 - 09:04 AM

[Macros]

I want to do it on dinoroticism.

[Grimjust Bearegular]

I think I'm in?!



I need to exercise my writing muscle so I can publish stuff and make lots and lots of money at the box office!