[amphibian]

Obdigore, on 15 November 2012 - 02:57 AM, said:

If you are at work when she needs to talk to you and can't get out quite in time (like what amph does) and having made rough plans with her to propose to her, then let her cousin get proposed to first, by a guy who has been going out with her a year longer (like what amph does) then you can worry about what amph says.

Corrections made.

Keep on truckin'.

[Primateus]

amphibian, on 15 November 2012 - 02:08 AM, said:

Primateus, on 14 November 2012 - 10:46 PM, said:

And Amph, if you'll notice, I didn't say I wouldn't talk to her, I said I had avoided her. For the simple reason that I didn't know what to say to her. Which is why I created this thread.

In the 36 hours since this thread was posted and advice was given, have you talked to her about this?

King Lear said:

I don't know if you noticed, but I try and be constructive instead of being a jerk. You know, like people were when YOU had a problem.

You should try it sometime.

See my above response to Primateus. He's had two months plus to get off his keister and do something about this. I bet she's long since moved on and no longer views him as a friend.

You're still making your own interpretations and conclusions, my friend.

She's coming by tonight for dinner and her not communicating with me is business as usual for her. She is not the one who starts the conversation. According to herself she does that with all her friends.
I admit to a certain amount of assholery in this regard. If she's feeling peachy as usual and she's not feeling taken advantage of or anything then she won't notice that we haven't talked since september (Our last meeting was dinner at her place) If, however, she is not feeling peachy because we had sex and she's feeling taken advantage of. Well, we've gone before with several months, a far longer period than this, without talking for no other reason than we had nothing new to share, or maybe we were too busy, whatever.
Yes, this is pretty cynical and calculating on my part and I admit to the assholery of it and take it on me. But I would rather figure out what to say (by asking the fine folks here) and then take the time to figure that out by, let's face it, abuse that aspect of our friendship instead of talking to her right away and making a mess of things because I didn't know what to say.

That makes me an asshole? Fine, At least I'm honest about it.

In any case, had she moved on I doubt she would have agreed to come by tonight, she's pretty consistant about something like that.

And yeah, sure, there might not be a "repeat performance" as you so eloquently put it, that's fine, because I never expected there to be a first performance in the first place.

[cerveza_fiesta]

Primateus, on 15 November 2012 - 08:47 AM, said:

She's coming by tonight for dinner....

Well there then. Positive outcome already!

Just be honest. Tell her all the feelings you laid bare in this thread (without being a total pussy about it) and let her know you care how she feels for more reasons than your own peace of mind.

Probably best to get it out of the way right away too. Elephants have a really bad way of killing the mood when they're sitting next to you in a room.

[Ulrik]

worrywort, on 14 November 2012 - 08:25 PM, said:

How does one...have...it? Just a little refresher course for the noobs!

Well, you need a booze...

[Ulrik]

Primateus, on 15 November 2012 - 08:47 AM, said:

You're still making your own interpretations and conclusions, my friend.

She's coming by tonight for dinner and her not communicating with me is business as usual for her. She is not the one who starts the conversation. According to herself she does that with all her friends.
I admit to a certain amount of assholery in this regard. If she's feeling peachy as usual and she's not feeling taken advantage of or anything then she won't notice that we haven't talked since september (Our last meeting was dinner at her place) If, however, she is not feeling peachy because we had sex and she's feeling taken advantage of. Well, we've gone before with several months, a far longer period than this, without talking for no other reason than we had nothing new to share, or maybe we were too busy, whatever.
Yes, this is pretty cynical and calculating on my part and I admit to the assholery of it and take it on me. But I would rather figure out what to say (by asking the fine folks here) and then take the time to figure that out by, let's face it, abuse that aspect of our friendship instead of talking to her right away and making a mess of things because I didn't know what to say.

That makes me an asshole? Fine, At least I'm honest about it.

In any case, had she moved on I doubt she would have agreed to come by tonight, she's pretty consistant about something like that.

And yeah, sure, there might not be a "repeat performance" as you so eloquently put it, that's fine, because I never expected there to be a first performance in the first place.

Well, are you stil distressed? Talk to her. For your own good.
Are you over it? And her? OK, leave it, if there was damage done by stonewalling any conversation about it, its already done.

For me personally its rather strange to not talk about it. Yeah its just sex, but on the other hand, its still sex and with good friend its usually intimate thing...from my experience, it doesnt happend only because both are horny and drunk... I found rather refreshing to talk about it afterwards, usually it ends in humor and relieved area. But hey, people are different...

[Kanese S's]

Good luck in talking to her.

Just note that you've felt awkward about it over the last couple months, and that this was due mainly to you being unsure about how okay or not she was with it, and that her friendship is important to you. Talk about your feelings on it, and when she talks about hers, just listen.

Also, I'm assuming both of you were single (maybe still are) when this occurred? Otherwise that would add some fairly unpleasant complications.

This post has been edited by Kanese S's: 15 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

[Abyss]

I just want to note that this thread is responsible for me having that bloody Salt'n'Pepa song stuck in my thinkyparts for the last three days dammit.

[Primateus]

Kanese S, on 15 November 2012 - 03:56 PM, said:

Good luck in talking to her.

Just note that you've felt awkward about it over the last couple months, and that this was due mainly to you being unsure about how okay or not she was with it, and that her friendship is important to you. Talk about your feelings on it, and when she talks about hers, just listen.

Also, I'm assuming both of you were single (maybe still are) when this occurred? Otherwise that would add some fairly unpleasant complications.

Both single, yes. Otherwise I doubt it'd have happened.

And Abyss, glad to be of service.

ps: I also have that song stuck in my head and it's getting pretty damn annoying.

[Primateus]

All is well in Primateus-Land!

Yes, all is well, I've spoken with her, she admitted to some confusion for a couple of weeks after the fact, but she was not troubled by it.

She has assured me though that I musn't think like I've been thinking and that she's not angry with me or anything like that.

So, all is well!

Oh, and Amphibian?

She hadn't even noticed that I've been avoiding her so...FACE!

This post has been edited by Primateus: 15 November 2012 - 09:55 PM

[RodeoRanch]

Two months of living with my fiancee in my parents house. Down the hall from their room. I'm dying. But we're going to Banff for the weekend. Hell yes.

[Kanese S's]

If I were in your position, Rodeo, loud sex would happen anyway, parents down the hall or not.

[Kanese S's]

Also, that's great that things got resolved, Primateus!

[Abyss]

RodeoRanch, on 16 November 2012 - 12:53 AM, said:

Two months of living with my fiancee in my parents house. Down the hall from their room. I'm dying. But we're going to Banff for the weekend. Hell yes.

Kanese S, on 16 November 2012 - 01:20 AM, said:

If I were in your position, Rodeo, loud sex would happen anyway, parents down the hall or not.

If you were in Rodeo's position, Kan, you wouldn't be wearing any pants.

[Gust Hubb]

Abyss, on 16 November 2012 - 04:46 AM, said:

RodeoRanch, on 16 November 2012 - 12:53 AM, said:

Two months of living with my fiancee in my parents house. Down the hall from their room. I'm dying. But we're going to Banff for the weekend. Hell yes.

Kanese S, on 16 November 2012 - 01:20 AM, said:

If I were in your position, Rodeo, loud sex would happen anyway, parents down the hall or not.

If you were in Rodeo's position, Kan, you wouldn't be wearing any pants.

I'd hope not. Jeans ain't soft on the skin.

[Garak]

Well that's another life saved by the Internet. Good for you Prim.

[worry]

Too many jokes, this is the Discussion Forum, please incinerate all jokes BEFORE you enter here.

[Obdigore]

worrywort, on 16 November 2012 - 06:10 AM, said:

Too many jokes, this is the Discussion Forum, please incinerate all jokes BEFORE you enter here.

So Sayeth Captain Snark, King of Discussions?

[Primateus]

Briar King, on 16 November 2012 - 12:13 AM, said:

That is good news.

Was there talk about just having this never happened or did it go the other way of maybe happening again?

Youve intrigued us and we must know EVERYTHING!

Yes, all is well.

Uhm, I think it was left at if we did have sex again then we would deal with that when that happened.

Anyhoo, thanks for your help folks, and your honesty. Much appreciated

[cerveza_fiesta]

Good for you Prim,

well done. See? Now everbody can breathe much easier.

Hopefully you turn this win into some momentum toward a full-on relationship (if you want that type of thing). I'll not even pretend to give you advice on that.

If not, then at least you can chalk it up to a win for the good guys and you can be damned sure if she didn't think you cared about her before, she does now.

[Abyss]

http://xkcd.com/513/


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