[rhulad]

Tapper, on 10 December 2012 - 03:18 PM, said:

Use Of Weapons, on 10 December 2012 - 10:39 AM, said:

IMO, you should never go into a relationship with someone intending to "fix" them. If they need fixing, they can do it without getting tangled up in your emotions. Sure, you might feel that they deserve something good to happen, to realise that everything doesn't suck. But you don't have to be the one that makes that happen. And you deserve a relationship with someone who isn't broken.

This, so much. Don't enter a relationship for her benefit or because you think you're good for her. Enter it because you feel you'll be good for her and she'll be good for you and you'll have a great time together. And as Amph said, the timing of her depressions is important. If she's on the mend from an attempt to maim/kill herself four years ago, it is something entirely different than if it was four months ago.

I don't think this can be stressed enough. I did that with a friend once, biggest mistake of my dating life. I liked her quite a bit at the start of the relationship, but stayed in it way too long because she was kinda broken and I didn't want to hurt her since she'd been fucked over in the past. In the end I was the one who got fucked over and we haven't spoken to one another since.

[Gothos]

Right. You are correct, of course. I just wouldn't want to break her again (Karsa Orlong jokes go here if you want).
In any case, seems the crazy is rather less recent than more. I've decided to open channels of communication, and it's going well, I think. Nothing hasty, just see how it flows.
Must say, I've some expertise when it comes to seizing a moment by now, but I've like NO IDEA what to do or say day-to-day. Then again, talking with her seems easier than normally.

[Gust Hubb]

I tried fixing a girlfriend of mine who was struggling in school. Truth is, she never made it in school with or without me and ended up doing something she loved, making jewelry. There's only so much you can do for people, and sometimes helping is getting in the way.

[Kanese S's]

Gothos, on 10 December 2012 - 10:14 AM, said:

Can't be exactly sure, but between 4 months and 4 years ago. I don't exactly push the subject.

Of course. Just wondering, as sort of gauging whether it's a current issue or one that's mostly past.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

....nobody knows the trouble I seen.....

(... this one's for Obdi *smurk*)

[MTS]

I don't really see any problem with age differences (60-somethings dating 20-year olds aside). I think as you get older the acceptable gap gets wider and wider, to the point where for the most part it's not an issue from an acceptance standpoint. Even I'm noticing that and I'm only 22. Do you think it's wrong however? I think that's the only real barometer that you should be looking at, because in the end that's all that matters. If you think it might be a serious enough issue that could come between you in the future, maybe back off or just keep it casual. If not go for it I say.

[worry]

I have no issue with it except when it's a supporting factor in coercive relationships.

[Macros]

Half plus seven, you're safe.

[amphibian]

Briar King, on 20 February 2013 - 05:40 AM, said:

So what's everyone's view on age difference? I'm 32 and I got a 52 yr old attractive woman hinting at me. Is this wrong or no?

Go for it. Have fun. Treat her nice.

Big difference between the 52/32 age gap for an actual relationship and a hypothetical 38/18 relationship. I'd actually be okay with a 38/18 one night stand, but an actual relationship for that specific gap is going to have to pass a skeptical eye test. Heck, I'd be concerned as heck if there was anything like a 19/16, 20/16, 21/17 or 21/18 relationship. That's just creepy.

[Macros]

Considering that guys are generally more immature for longer (sweeping generalisations ahoy!) the half plus seven doesn't bother me until we hit legal questions (17 in most countries?)
I'm basically a large child still, Id think any 21 year old I dated would most likely be considerably more sensible and mature than me.

[Primateus]

Briar King, on 20 February 2013 - 05:40 AM, said:

So what's everyone's view on age difference? I'm 32 and I got a 52 yr old attractive woman hinting at me. Is this wrong or no?

If you don't think it's wrong, then it ain't wrong. You're both consenting adults, so fuck what everybody else is saying.

[Tattersail_]

Briar King, on 20 February 2013 - 05:40 AM, said:

So what's everyone's view on age difference? I'm 32 and I got a 52 yr old attractive woman hinting at me. Is this wrong or no?

Are you wanting a shag or full blown relationship or something in between? Lay it out before hand and if she is happy then nothing wrong at all. It's the ones that promise the world and then fuck off after the sex, that's just wrong because you're misleading the person. If she wants a bit of fun and so do you then go for it.

[Garak]

I see no problem with that.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

At that age, it's all a bit much of a muchness, isn't it? Then again, what would I know...

OK, here's the part where the entire board gets to snicker at my lack of experience. I hope you brought your TV trays. I'm currently dating a 24 year old (I'm 19) but we're both still hangin' onto the V-plates for dear life. To spare you a lot of boring details, how the hell do you control your arousal levels? Because this woman...yeah. And she kinda noticed. I'd prefer to not get started so quickly, so to speak.

-preps shield-

[Obdigore]

Ain, on 21 February 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

At that age, it's all a bit much of a muchness, isn't it? Then again, what would I know...

OK, here's the part where the entire board gets to snicker at my lack of experience. I hope you brought your TV trays. I'm currently dating a 24 year old (I'm 19) but we're both still hangin' onto the V-plates for dear life. To spare you a lot of boring details, how the hell do you control your arousal levels? Because this woman...yeah. And she kinda noticed. I'd prefer to not get started so quickly, so to speak.

-preps shield-

A virgin asking how to not get a chubby? I just dont... /sigh.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Obdigore, on 21 February 2013 - 10:36 AM, said:

Ain, on 21 February 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

At that age, it's all a bit much of a muchness, isn't it? Then again, what would I know...

OK, here's the part where the entire board gets to snicker at my lack of experience. I hope you brought your TV trays. I'm currently dating a 24 year old (I'm 19) but we're both still hangin' onto the V-plates for dear life. To spare you a lot of boring details, how the hell do you control your arousal levels? Because this woman...yeah. And she kinda noticed. I'd prefer to not get started so quickly, so to speak.

-preps shield-

A virgin asking how to not get a chubby? I just dont... /sigh.

I realise how stupid this sounds, but yeah

[Obdigore]

Ain, on 21 February 2013 - 10:46 AM, said:

Obdigore, on 21 February 2013 - 10:36 AM, said:

Ain, on 21 February 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

At that age, it's all a bit much of a muchness, isn't it? Then again, what would I know...

OK, here's the part where the entire board gets to snicker at my lack of experience. I hope you brought your TV trays. I'm currently dating a 24 year old (I'm 19) but we're both still hangin' onto the V-plates for dear life. To spare you a lot of boring details, how the hell do you control your arousal levels? Because this woman...yeah. And she kinda noticed. I'd prefer to not get started so quickly, so to speak.

-preps shield-

A virgin asking how to not get a chubby? I just dont... /sigh.

I realise how stupid this sounds, but yeah

Punch yourself in the dick like 9 times? Think about your grandparents having sex while you make out with her? Oh Oh Oh pretend she has

Spoiler

shitting dick nipples (google it)

.

Or you could... you know... make your own decisions as an adult.

This post has been edited by Obdigore: 21 February 2013 - 10:50 AM

[Assail]

I mean to be blunt... if I was struggling to contain my arousal, I'd probably ensure that I'd gotten all of that out of my system before spending time with a woman. Jerk off beforehand is what I'm trying to say. Maybe even multiple times.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Sound advice all around. Thanks dudes.

[Tattersail_]

Assail, on 21 February 2013 - 10:55 AM, said:

I mean to be blunt... if I was struggling to contain my arousal, I'd probably ensure that I'd gotten all of that out of my system before spending time with a woman. Jerk off beforehand is what I'm trying to say. Maybe even multiple times.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

There's something about Mary!!

This made me laugh, sorry if it looks insensitive.