[iksaxophone]

Darlock, on 26 September 2011 - 06:50 PM, said:

I think this list is incomplete without "Fiddler, Hedge and crate of cussers". Yes, together as one character

I am compelled to agree. But don't forget that wicked crossbow Fid gets in Bonehunters. XD

[Blueiron]

Dear Illyukanas,

Could you please indicate on this list somehow that Clip is a sack of shit?

Yours truely,

Blueiron

PS: Sag'Churok is kinda badass. He's a velociraptor with sword-hands.

[Illuyankas]

Yes, I plan to return to this list to modify it after my Reaper's Gale summary. Hopefully soon. Realistically later.

[Blueiron]

Illuyankas, on 03 October 2011 - 04:10 AM, said:

Yes, I plan to return to this list to modify it after my Reaper's Gale summary. Hopefully soon. Realistically later.

yaaayyy!

[Tempest]

Illuyankas, on 12 January 2010 - 01:08 AM, said:

Pormqual, slightly less effectual than moist toilet paper

This.was.brilliant.

[AnomanderRakeSoD]

This thread is a bl00dy joke. Who in the world could Rake so low when it comes to being a badass - HE MIGHT BE THE ULTIMATE BADASS IN ALL OF FICTION -

[Blind Sapper]

AnomanderRakeSoD, on 19 November 2011 - 01:42 PM, said:

This thread is a bl00dy joke. Who in the world could Rake so low when it comes to being a badass - HE MIGHT BE THE ULTIMATE BADASS IN ALL OF FICTION -

Meh. The badass sword Rake carried did all the work.
Of course, thats what I would have said before finishing the series. Before I learned that the thing is so f*cking heavy that if he puts it down, it will crack the stone it is sitting on in a matter of minutes. Before I learned that he actually has to carry the weight of everybody that's imprisoned in the blade. Add that to living on a floating mountain and having a magical crow army and being a soletaken dragon.

Btw, does anybody know or remember what the sword is actually made of? I can't seem to find it.

[Sinisdar Toste]

TheBlindSapper, on 11 December 2011 - 02:59 PM, said:

AnomanderRakeSoD, on 19 November 2011 - 01:42 PM, said:

This thread is a bl00dy joke. Who in the world could Rake so low when it comes to being a badass - HE MIGHT BE THE ULTIMATE BADASS IN ALL OF FICTION -

Meh. The badass sword Rake carried did all the work.
Of course, thats what I would have said before finishing the series. Before I learned that the thing is so f*cking heavy that if he puts it down, it will crack the stone it is sitting on in a matter of minutes. Before I learned that he actually has to carry the weight of everybody that's imprisoned in the blade. Add that to living on a floating mountain and having a magical crow army and being a soletaken dragon.

Btw, does anybody know or remember what the sword is actually made of? I can't seem to find it.

THE SWORD DRAGNIPUR! FORGED BY THE ELDER GOD DRACONUS IN THE FIERY HEART OF BURN HERSELF. CHAINS MADE OF EVERY METAL IN EXISTENCE HE PULLED FROM BURN'S PRIMAL CRUCIBLE, FORMING THE BLADE ITSELF. IT IS INVESTED WITH THE GATE TO MOTHER DARK, CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE, AND CONTAINS AN ENTIRE WORLD! WITNESS IT'S HORRIBLE POWER AND FEAR!

(the sword itself really should be on the list)
(draconus remembers the actual forging of dragnipur in TtH, can't remember where though)

[Blind Sapper]

Sinisdar Toste, on 12 December 2011 - 04:33 AM, said:

TheBlindSapper, on 11 December 2011 - 02:59 PM, said:

AnomanderRakeSoD, on 19 November 2011 - 01:42 PM, said:

This thread is a bl00dy joke. Who in the world could Rake so low when it comes to being a badass - HE MIGHT BE THE ULTIMATE BADASS IN ALL OF FICTION -

Meh. The badass sword Rake carried did all the work.
Of course, thats what I would have said before finishing the series. Before I learned that the thing is so f*cking heavy that if he puts it down, it will crack the stone it is sitting on in a matter of minutes. Before I learned that he actually has to carry the weight of everybody that's imprisoned in the blade. Add that to living on a floating mountain and having a magical crow army and being a soletaken dragon.

Btw, does anybody know or remember what the sword is actually made of? I can't seem to find it.

THE SWORD DRAGNIPUR! FORGED BY THE ELDER GOD DRACONUS IN THE FIERY HEART OF BURN HERSELF. CHAINS MADE OF EVERY METAL IN EXISTENCE HE PULLED FROM BURN'S PRIMAL CRUCIBLE, FORMING THE BLADE ITSELF. IT IS INVESTED WITH THE GATE TO MOTHER DARK, CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE, AND CONTAINS AN ENTIRE WORLD! WITNESS IT'S HORRIBLE POWER AND FEAR!

(the sword itself really should be on the list)
(draconus remembers the actual forging of dragnipur in TtH, can't remember where though)

CAPS FTW
And I agree, Draginpur should be its own character. I mean, it ate a bunch of people, right?

[Illuyankas]

Well, Karsa's sword has an entry, and that has few fewer souls in it, so I don't see why not.

[Blind Sapper]

Illuyankas, on 12 December 2011 - 09:35 PM, said:

Well, Karsa's sword has an entry, and that has few fewer souls in it, so I don't see why not.

2 : 3,000 seems about right.

[Blind Sapper]

Hellian's squad?
Points for actually following orders given by a drunk arachnophobe,
made me chuckle

[the broken]

Kallor's already high on your list, but...


OK, first thing we hear about him is that he conquered a continent in fifty years, and then three Elder Gods decide to stop him with curses. Result?

K'rul? Rendered completely powerless for millenia.
Draconus? On a chain gang for millenia.
Nightchill? Kallor was feeling gallant, so she just got ripped apart.

Three Elder Gods decide to fuck him up, and Kallor comes off best.

So he wanders around for a while, and earns such a rep for badassery that even when he walks into a court full of people who hate his guts and puts down his weapon, nobody messes with him. Is such a military genius that Caladan Brood keeps him around even though everyone in his camp absolutely hates him.

Silverfox is a mystery to everyone. Everyone is concerned about her potential, what she will/will not do. Kallor recognises her nature instantly.

Quick Ben is one of the most mysterious characters in the series. Kallor figures out that he has multiple souls before anyone else, and makes it clear that he could easily break those chains if he chose. Quick Ben immediately flees. The guy who takes on dragons and Icarium.

He has not faced defeat in combat in one hundred thousand years. Caladan Brood names four people in the entire world who might possibly alter that record. He serves as a very able military adviser to Caladan Brood, even though he doesn't even care whether they win or lose. He is on the staff of one of the most powerful ascendants in the world, because he has nothing better to do.

When we finally see him fight, he takes down Korlat, two elite marines, and Whiskeyjack, all in the time it takes Tayschrenn to react. Whiskeyjack almost cut him, but the only reason that opening was there was because Kallor's heel caught in something at the wrong time. Whiskeyjack didn't outfight Kallor. He was blindly lucky that Kallor was coincidentally left exposed.

He happens across the Dying God, and the Dying God doesn't even try to stop him. Kallor concludes that the whole cult isn't worth his time and keeps walking.

So Kallor leaves, and Korlat and Orfantal vow revenge. Except that they're so scared of him that they take five books to catch up even though they are dragons and he's just walking. When they do catch up, Kallor kills Orfantal... and keeps walking.

Rake doesn't want Kallor to get Darujhistan. He sends his best man, Spinnock Durav, a Tiste who fought his way out of Assail (the continent that is chewing up T'lan Imass like scarecrows). Spinnock does well enough to reduce Korlat to tears, slowing Kallor down slightly.

And he does all this without being an Ascendant. He's a mortal with some skills in alchemy and a couple of curses.


Edit: Can't believe I forgot this. Eight high mages destroy a continent to kill him. Meaning A) The didn't dare face him directly, and he survived a God being thrown at him. Before he was cursed with longevity

This post has been edited by the broken: 28 March 2012 - 11:10 PM

[Sinisdar Toste]

you forgot that he made a quick stop at the dolmans, simply to finish the job of wiping out the last living member of the thel akai race

edit: just his luck one of the only mofo's badder than him was on the scene

This post has been edited by Sinisdar Toste: 29 March 2012 - 12:38 AM

[Vaddon Ra]

Anomander Rake is incredibly powerful, but after his ruthless turns in GOTM he gets increasingly broody and benevolent and junk. That's not badass, that's grown up and wise.....nononononononononononononononono!!!!!
Draconus is badass, HOOD is badass...HOOD is so badass he eats peoples faces...come to think of it Greyfrog is badass too, he eats peoples faces too and humps human women....(mentally

nuff said!

[Otataral Toblakai]

The number one spot on this list should go to Kruppe.

Why?

The incident with Caladran Brood. That pastry eating slimy eel made him use his hammer and faced him off without fighting or doing anything. Just by his words. How badasser can you get?

So, my vote's on Kruppe.

I'd follow that up with Lady Envy.

Why?

She frakking made damned Seguleh her bondslaves. Frakking Seguleh! And what's more badass than a tough/beautiful/mesmerizing lady, eh?

[Whiskey Jack_1985]

Hetan, on 19 January 2010 - 01:08 PM, said:

Here's my nomination for the Badassery of Iron Bars - oh yeah - if you didn't know already - SPOILERS INSIDE




LOL fukin epic






Iron Bars is badass. Even his name is badass – IRON BARS.
The man has more cojones than a Mexican butcher shop. He survives Assail, Assail for Hood’s sake – how many can say that? Then he rescues Seren Pedac from three armed thugs without even drawing his sword and then turns his assailants weapons on themselves, killing the third dude by ripping his jaw off – tossing the mandible away with its attendant lower palate and tongue - WITH HIS BARE HANDS!
Did I mention his name – IRON BARS – a badass name for a badass.
Next he takes on two Edur with his sword, kills them, takes on a third and breaks his neck - WITH HIS BARE HAND – he didn’t need both of them for that job. He kills a fourth and then sets to on Rhulad and he has more sword skillz than that putz so he just finishes him off by snapping his neck – WITH HIS BARE HAND – turns around and skewers three more Edur just for shits and giggles – and he’s not even out of breath.
Oh yeah, and he has a cool badass name – IRON BARS.

Then Mael asks him for a favour – could he help wipe out a GOD – a god. He takes some help with him for this one as there’s 6 D’ivers Lizard Cats but he does most of the work coz his squad ain’t up to it and comes out of the melee covered in blood but none of it his – because he’s IRON BARS and he doesn’t bleed too easily. He’s so badass he even has time to talk to the Errant on the way in to the fight introducing himself with a friendly pleasedtomeetyouseeyoulater – which shows that in spite of the fact that he is badass, IRON BARS is a decent person.

Just as he’s taking a breather he sees a soletaken wolf sneaking up on the Errant and catches it mid-leap by it’s leg and throat, smashing it headfirst into the ground crushing it’s snout, skull and shoulders – WITH HIS BARE HANDS – and he did use both for this.

Thinking he’s done he turns back to Mael who tells him there’s a bigger problem and can he help with this one too and IRON BARS just asks to be pointed in the right direction, taking on the 5 Sereghal gods of the Tartheno Toblakai who are big badass mofo’s who are so badass their own people pray that they will never be released from their prison. And what does THE BARS reply? He says it’s a garden fete. A garden fete ffs. So he takes on the Sereghal and kills one of them, breaking his own arm whilst fighting off the other four then takes a crippling wound to his hip, which sees him downed but not out as he thinks that perhaps he would have paced himself better if he’d known he was going to be taking on so many gods in one day. Oh yeah - his name is IRON BARS.

Next we see him marooned at sea with 10 others, without food and water for weeks but he ain’t gonna be no-ones slave and he needs to get to Stratem so he asks real politely but the slavers don’t listen and make the mistake of trying to beat down THE BARS. So he does what he does best, taking down eight men – WITH HIS BARE HANDS and kills them all whilst being beaten up and taking a quarrel in the chest, but he’s IRON BARS so he takes the ship and sails to Stratem. Only of course nothing is gonna be easy so he runs into some Seguleh – eighteen of them. But this is IRON BARS and he can’t resist a challenge. He sword fights with one of them and kills her, after being pierced through the leg and having his throat cut – but he’s IRON BARS and he survives. He is so badass the badass Seguleh head honcho nominates him for a position within the ranks of the Seguleh.

He gets captured again by the Mare but they cheated and used a net, then beat him unconscious – because that’s the only way those pussies could cope with THE BARS. Then they decided that he’s so badass that he’s going to the Wall on Korelri – I feel sorry for the Storm Riders – because they are going to face IRON BARS – WITH HIS BARE HANDS!

[Corabb Bhilan Thenu'alas]

Spinnock Durav: Like Iron Bars, survived Assail (and without a squad to cover his behind, may I add). Stood before Kallor from watch to rise. Has served Rake and the Tiste Andii since before lightfall. Irresistable panty-puller, from cousins, to commanders to high priestesses of all races. Major Pimp.

[the broken]

Ladies and Gentlemen,I present for your consideration… Possum…also known as the only non-ascendantcharacter to fight Dassem Ultor and live. That’s right, Dassem fucking Ultor,the guy that K&D don’t dare to piss off, and the very Karsa Orlong himself isafraid to fuck with. Kallor and Skinner have to invoke clause 37b of theCrippled God’s contract of employment, ‘Escape from Imminent Death’, whenfacing Dessembrae, but Possum? He don’t need none of that shit.

But he ain’t satisfied with taking one name, oh no. So hestands at the Empress’ right hand when K&D are carving their way up throughMock’s Hold, but he doesn’t sit and wait like the rest, he goes and fights in afortress full of Bridgeburners, also known as the most badass unit in theMalazan army, and Shadow cultists, just for fun, until he runs into Temper, oneof Dassem’s Sword. But he’s kinda busy right then, so he heads back upstairs.Since facing down one near Ascendant isn’t enough for this Claw, and he hasbigger fish to fry, cause he’s gotta add two more names to his list of Ascendantswho fail to kill him. Let’s not forget, folks, most people who fight majorAscendants don’t unless they don’t know who they’re fighting or think they havea chance to win. Possum knows exactly whoDassem, Kellanved and Dancer are and what they’re capable of, and he’s willingto fight them anyway. And he survives all three encounters, as the onlylowranked Claw to do so.

So time passes, and we don’t know what happens except thatPossum has survived at the top of the most backstabby organisation inliterature for ten years. He inherits leadership of an organisation in a bit ofa mess thanks to Apsalar taking a slight detour in the middle of her barhoppingtour. So he wanders around, chats to some talking heads, and kills a formerrival of Laseen, but she’s nobody special, just a highly skilled mage who wasthe author of an open rebellion. Then he manages a decimated relic of anorganisation as it once was, where he’s basically the only known reliablemember, until an entire company of Ascendants drop into Unta to say hi. MallickRel, a guy with the powers of a God behind him, decides to hide and playwaiter, but Clawmaster Possum sees a chance to add some more Ascendants to his‘I survived meeting’ T-Shirt. He doesn’t sit in a tower planning, he takes thefight right to the Company of near Immortals invading his city, and takes downan entire Blade, leaving one alive because the Empress deserves a chance to gether hands dirty too. And if he hadn’t been distracted by the pretty girl behindhim he’d have helped out an unknown subordinate on general principle, even thoughhe’s suffering a serious wound at the time. Hespends an entire battle guarding his Empress’ tent, and is the only person tonotice the assassin stalking her. When she gets the drop on him a moment’sdistraction is enough to throw her off.

He thenkills the Imperial High Mage on the battlefield, sure, the wrong one, butthere’s not a High Mage in the Series that was an easy kill for anyone lackingotataral. And he’s not done for the day, he still has some Avowed Hunting todo.

Mere medical emergencies won’tstop Possum, as we later learn when he guards Laseen’s back againstmotherfucking Cowl, the Crimson Guard equivalent of both Tayschrenn and Dancer.He takes a wound that is actually lethal, but the fact that he is bleeding to death and has a punctured lungdoesn’t mean he won’t help out when his Empress needs him. Cowl hesitates toattack a man who’s ignoring his own inability to breathe, with the result ofhim getting ambushed. At the end of Crimson Guard, Possum wanders off, probablytraveling the world to find some other elite quasi immortals to add to hislist. He’s not as flashy as Dassem or Karsa, but a true badass doesn't have to advertise himself. Fuck, this guy has to be oneof the most courageous people in the entire series, willing to take on anyonefrom sheer loyalty… and he’s still alive as far as we know.

[worry]

Possum's a jackass. But I love him.