[Macros]

Cougar, you seem to spend an inordinate amount of time vomiting on the motorway.
This distresses me

[Cougar]

Technically speaking it's in service stations, my dear Dr Robinson and it only happens after I've been boozing with that woman.

[RodeoRanch]

I like how Mezla is "That Woman."

[Tiste Simeon]

You'll understand once you meet her...

[Macros]

I trust your garments survived the escapade, and in the service station is all kinds of wrong, think of the children!

[Cougar]

It wasn't in the ball pool in the creche, it was in Mr Moto's well appointed and stylishly decorated facilities. Right next to the glory hole and within sight of the biro scrawled legend:

Fit homo guy, 9 inches, wants to meet you tel: 0788888888

I wiped my mouth, lushed the lav and made a note of his number: I need to meet this tiny little man, if only to ask him how he managed to reach 4ft in the air to write on a toilet door in West Yorkshire.

[Macros]

step ladder on the toilet seat, common practice

[stone monkey]

 RodeoRanch, on 06 October 2009 - 05:31 PM, said:

I like how Mezla is "That Woman."

I heartily agree with Tiste: you will totally understand once you've met her...

[Mezla PigDog]

I'm assuming these are compliments!

[Tsundoku]

 Tiste Simeon, on 06 October 2009 - 11:42 PM, said:

You'll understand once you meet her...

Oh yeah, I agree. Sauced little minx.

A couple of bits of advice my Australia-dodging Canuck friend:

1. Plan your trip a bit more thoroughly than I did. Last minute plane/hotel prices are ghastly, even around Europe. Sometimes you may get lucky with a hotel (no, not the "get lucky" you think I mean - unless you do ...) that needs to fill rooms late in the day and you can get 50% or so off sometimes.
2. Nail down dates and locations.
3. Try not to see too much all at once. Otherwise you end up seeing most of a country at 120 km/h through a car window.
4. Preferably make sure people know you will be there before you get there. Or at least make sure they read this thread well beforehand.
5. Go to Ireland and try the Guinness, it's so much better than the stuff we get in Oz. I was rather proud of my 11 pints in Belfast and was still able to get a late night dinner and walk back to my hotel. Eventually. After about 5 people gave me directions.
6. Go to Norway and marvel at how healthy, happy and attractive the population appear to be compared with other western countries. The bastards. I think it makes up for those winters.
7. Take the smallest amount of gear you can get away with and put it all into the smallest backpack/luggage you can fit it into. Trust me on this.
8. MP3 player with spare battery, plus comfortable industrial strength earplugs FTW on those flights which always have the obligatory screaming child/ren. If you can afford those noise-reducing earphones (make sure they WORK first, some don't take the edge off the screaming at all ) buy them.

[RodeoRanch]

I'm slowly starting to narrow down things. Likely arriving in London in the second week of November. Leaving the island on Dec.16th. Which means I will make the Manchester Meetup. Oh yes.

I'll post and PM more details as I get my shit together.

Thanks for all the input!

[Tiste Simeon]

Dammit I don't think I can make the Mank meetup this year! Will try and see if I can do something around those times though.

[Thelomen Toblerone]

Oh, it's going to be an epic couple of malazan months. The Manky meetup, Tremmy coming to London, and you to our sceptered isle in general, quite the package.

Don't worry, we'll school you in the ways of our glorious nation so you don't end up in some horribly awkward social situation, or get stabbed by chavs. Or, horror of horrors, end up in Scotland.

[stone monkey]

Whoa dude! That's brilliant news Now you'll see us in all our drunken glory...

You should probably be scared...

[Thelomen Toblerone]

I', still not convinced you actually exist, SM. Every time we're due at the same event, one of us seems to pull out. We could well be the same schizophrenic person. I expect you at the Manky meet up. Which reminds me, I need to find a place to crash. Why has Brood selfishly moved away?

[Binder of Demons]

 Thelomen Toblerone, on 14 October 2009 - 06:11 PM, said:

Oh, it's going to be an epic couple of malazan months. The Manky meetup, Tremmy coming to London, and you to our sceptered isle in general, quite the package.

Don't worry, we'll school you in the ways of our glorious nation so you don't end up in some horribly awkward social situation, or get stabbed by chavs. Or, horror of horrors, end up in Scotland.

What about getting him lost in the valleys of Wales?

[Tiste Simeon]

Well if he can prove he isn't English, they may let him out of the valleys alive. Us brave English folk in this hostile land stay in the cities, they can't attack us here with their specially bred sheep, trained to rape the English and turn them into Welsh people... *shudders*

[Cougar]

 Thelomen Toblerone, on 14 October 2009 - 10:37 PM, said:

I', still not convinced you actually exist, SM. Every time we're due at the same event, one of us seems to pull out. We could well be the same schizophrenic person. I expect you at the Manky meet up. Which reminds me, I need to find a place to crash. Why has Brood selfishly moved away?

He definitely exists, unless I was talking to myself in Fab on Saturday, actually that would explain why that crazy woman kept tugging at my sleeve while I was doing it.

No he's definitely real, a figment of my imagination wouldn't have such a natty line in jumpers.

[Darkwatch]

I can't really believe this.
Every time I've mentioned maybe getting a Canadian meet up going, Rodeo says he'll look into it. Then never answers.
Suddenly he's serious about hitting up the UK.
It's like Erikson never doing any tours here.

[Cougar]

Yes but boozing over here has a mythical allure. Tales of our escapades are documented, yet already mythical. You've never seen a choke hold till you've seen Mal do one on Broody in a bar, you wouldn't understand how to wear an argyle sweater till you've seen SM in one and you'd be appaled at how long, with a bit of goading from Mezla (despite what she says she started it, I can give you place, date and time, i can even tell you what seat we were sitting in) I can speculate on how big Karsa Orlongs schlong is.

Plus, he can't risk leaving the house in Canada without being attacked by racoons or bears or a mastodon or whatever other agressive fauna you have in Canada.