Badkind's New Series

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Badkind's New Series SoT by any other name...

#1 Terez

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:40 PM

http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA...4.html?nid=3336

article said:

The Law of Nines Terry Goodkind. Putnam, $27.95 (512p) ISBN 978-0-399-15604-5
Bestseller Goodkind (Confessor) ventures into thriller territory with results sure to please fans of his fantasy fiction. In the opening pages, Alex Rahl, the book's unwitting hero, saves the beautiful Jax from being run down on the street in Orden, Neb., by a plumbing truck flying a pirate flag. Jax, who turns out to be from an alternate reality where evildoers are attempting to seize control of her civilization, has traveled to Nebraska to seek Alex's help in saving her people. In Jax's world, magic takes the place of technology, but on earth she's stripped of her powers and forced to fight armed with only her trusty dagger. The author takes his time setting all this up, but once the story gets rolling, it's a gripping ride as the bad guys whoosh in between their world, which remains unseen, and ours. Fantasy and thriller readers alike will find themselves swept along to the final confrontation and looking forward to the next installment. (Sept.)

WTF.

This post has been edited by Terez: 25 June 2009 - 03:44 PM

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.

#2 Obdigore

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:42 PM

Is this serious?

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#3 Terez

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:43 PM

Yes, apparently.

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.

#4 Obdigore

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:46 PM

I want Celebrity Death Match:

Terry Goodkind vs ICE, SE, RJ, and Jim Butcher.

They fight with their creations... in fact, if I do some terrible fan fic, this will be it.

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#5 Terez

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:48 PM

I love how he apparently STILL can't resist the fantasy elements.

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.

#6 Eddie Dean

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:48 PM

Why didn't it say anything about rape in the description. You know it will be an interval part of the script.

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#7 Obdigore

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:51 PM

Wait Wait Wait.

What happened in the very first SoT book?

KAHLAN LEFT HER WORLD (MIDDLE) TO SEEK HELP FROM SOMEWHERE, BEING CHASED BY BAD GUYS THAT HER MAGIC WAS USELESS AGAINST. OH GOD. IT IS JUST THIS BAD. I GUARANTEE THE WORD RAPE IS IN THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS. I BET THIS TIME good-RAHL IS A RAPIST BUT A GOOD RAPIST WHO ONLY RAPES PEOPLE WHO DESEREVES IT BECAUSE THE PROTAGANIST OF ANY BADKIND BOOK CAN DO NO WRONG!

Hold on, having an Anuerysm.

This post has been edited by Captain Oblivious: 25 June 2009 - 03:55 PM

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#8 Terez

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:53 PM

Okay, how's this?

article said:

The Law of Nines Terry Goodkind. Putnam, $27.95 (512p) ISBN 978-0-399-15604-5
Bestseller Goodkind (Confessor) ventures into RAPE territory with results sure to please fans of his RAPE fiction. In the opening pages, Alex Rahl, the book's unwitting hero, saves the beautiful Jax from being RAPED on the street in Orden, Neb., by a plumbing truck flying a pirate flag. Jax, who turns out to be from an alternate reality where evildoers are attempting to RAPE her civilization, has traveled to Nebraska to seek Alex's help in saving her from RAPE. In Jax's world, magic takes the place of technology, but on earth she's stripped of her CLOTHES and forced to HAVE SEX WITH MANY MEN. The author takes his time setting all this up, but once the story gets rolling, it's a GRIPPING RIDE OF RAPE as the bad guys whoosh in between their world, which remains unseen, and ours. Fantasy and thriller readers alike will find themselves swept along to the final confrontation and looking forward to the next RAPE. (Sept.)

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.

#9 Terez

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:54 PM

Captain Oblivious, on Jun 25 2009, 10:51 AM, said:

Wait Wait Wait.

What happened in the very first WoT book?

KAHLAN LEFT HER WORLD (MIDDLE) TO SEEK HELP FROM SOMEWHERE, BEING CHASED BY BAD GUYS THAT HER MAGIC WAS USELESS AGAINST. OH GOD. IT IS JUST THIS BAD. I GUARANTEE THE WORD RAPE IS IN THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS. I BET THIS TIME good-RAHL IS A RAPIST BUT A GOOD RAPIST WHO ONLY RAPES PEOPLE WHO DESEREVES IT BECAUSE THE PROTAGANIST OF ANY BADKIND BOOK CAN DO NO WRONG!

Hold on, having an Anuerysm.

You have blasphemed WoT. :pirate:

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.

#10 Obdigore

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:55 PM

S is next to W, and I fixed it.

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#11 Terez

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:56 PM

Thank you. :pirate:

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.

#12 Abyss

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 03:59 PM

I'm taking bets that the trusty dagger has the word 'Truth' somewhere on it.

- Abyss, didn't know "thriller territory" had such a low rent...

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#13 Werthead

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 04:01 PM

This is the funniest thing I have ever read. After the Stanek stuff and then celebrating due to Newcombe being dropped by his publisher for bad sales, this is the hat trick. Solid comedy gold.

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#14 Terez

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 04:07 PM

Indeed. I had low expectations but I really didn't think he would stoop so low as to plagiarize himself.

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.

#15 Lisheo

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 04:11 PM

This is... Terrible...
It has to be a prank. Not even he could manage something so bad.
If it isn't, get Assail in here, and let's point and laugh.

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#16 Obdigore

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 04:11 PM

Terez, on Jun 25 2009, 10:53 AM, said:

Okay, how's this?

article said:

The Rape of Rapes - Terry Goodkind. Putnam, $27.95 (512p) ISBN 978-0-399-15604-5
Bestseller Goodkind (Confessor) ventures into RAPE territory with results sure to please fans of his RAPE fiction. In the opening pages, Alex Rahl, the book's RAPING hero, saves the beautiful Jax from being RAPED by anyone else on the street in Orden, Neb., by a plumbing truck flying a RAPE flag. Jax, who turns out to be from an alternate reality where evildoers are attempting to RAPE her civilization, has traveled to Nebraska to seek Alex's help in saving her from RAPE. In Jax's world, sex-magic takes the place of technology, but on earth she's stripped of her CLOTHES and forced to HAVE SEX WITH MANY MEN. The author takes his time setting all this up, but once the story gets rolling, it's a GRIPPING RIDE OF RAPE as the bad guys whoosh in between her legs. Rape and Mentally Handicapped readers alike will find themselves swept along to the final confrontation and looking forward to the next RAPE. (Sept.)

Fixed.

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#17 Illuyankas

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 04:34 PM

Captain Oblivious, on Jun 25 2009, 05:11 PM, said:

Terez, on Jun 25 2009, 10:53 AM, said:

Okay, how's this?

article said:

The Rape of Rapes - Terry Badkind. Putnam, $27.95 (512p) ISBN 978-0-399-15604-5
Worstseller Badkind (Nutty Professor) ventures into rape territory with results sure to sexually assault fans of his rape fiction. In the opening pages, Alex Rape, the book's raping hero, saves the beautiful Neverraped from being raped by anyone else on the street in Unwillingsexualassaultden, Nebrapeska, by a raping truck flying a FREE RAPE flag. Neverraped, who turns out to be from an alternate reality where evildoers are attempting to deobjectivism her civilization, has traveled to Nebrapeska to seek Alex's help in saving her from COMMUNISTS. In Neverraped's world, sex-magic takes the place of technology, but on earth she's stripped of her Rand books and ALMOST forced to HAVE SEX WITH MANY MEN. The author takes his time setting all this up, but once the story gets rolling, it's a GRIPPING RIDE OF RAPE as the bad guys almost whoosh in between her legs. Rapist and Mentally Handicapped readers alike will find themselves swept along to the final confrontation and looking forward to the next RAPE. (Rapetember)

Fixed.

Double fixed. Also, Apt happens to have got there first.

Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.