Malazan Empire: The most awesome t-shirt ever - Malazan Empire

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The most awesome t-shirt ever well these guys think so...

#1 User is offline   drinksinbars 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:11 AM

three wolves t-shirt

read the reviews :)
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#2 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:14 AM

What in the fuck? I'm laughing my ass off at the reviews.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#3 User is offline   dktorode 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:18 AM

hah hahaha
...┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐...

Why dont they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?
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#4 User is offline   Slum 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:21 AM

Please, in the future, do not post things that funny. It's really too funny. Hilarious.


Gods, I think I wet myself a bit.
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#5 User is offline   drinksinbars 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:23 AM

thats the quickest response to a thread i posted ever :)
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#6 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:24 AM

For more sheer joy... look at the items that "Customers who viewed this item also viewed" group. LOL

Edit: I'm drunk and bored DIBS.

This post has been edited by HoosierDaddy: 19 May 2009 - 08:25 AM

Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#7 User is offline   drinksinbars 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:30 AM

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
Thank god theres nothing on the back!, May 15, 2009
By K. Scott (Chicago, IL United States) - See all my reviews

"
I'm glad theres nothing on the back of this shirt, otherwise my mullet might be covering up a wolf, and I just don't know how I would handle having to decide between my mullet and another wolf on this shirt."
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#8 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:31 AM

Stop! I'm tearing up damn it!
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#9 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:32 AM

A guy with a mullet came into the supermarket last week. I stopped what ever I was doing and justs stared. Nobody wears mullets in Denmark, no one! I was split between being dazzed with awesome and doubling over in laughter.

He also had a little caterpillar growing on his upper lip.

Guy was rocking.
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#10 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:33 AM

He was prowling for some grocery kitty.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#11 User is offline   drinksinbars 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:43 AM

from the seller - what a dude

Quote

By The Mountain (Keene, NH) - See all my reviews

We appreciate humor as much as the next company, but we don't approve of some of the Classist remarks that are being generated here. Since we live in a relatively free society, this sometimes makes it easier to look past our own shortcomings and throw stones in glass houses.

The Mountain is a wholesale company and does not sell shirts on Amazon, so this viral assault went under our radar until the shirt made it into the top 10 in the amazon apparel section.

Some say: "Bad publicity is better than no publicity at all. We however disagree if it's at the expense of others in a Classist, Racist or Prejudice manner.

We are a New Hampshire company and some of the folks you ridicule are our neighbors, our friends and those that make our shirts, that are part of The Mountain family. They are the working class of America. Not everyone can start out at the top and not everyone from our neck of the woods lives in a trailer or cruises Walmart to hook up (though we do shop there for cheap Blue Rays).

We are inspired by our natural surrounding, nature, you can mock it, but please do us a favor and don't visit.

One of our favorite moments in the last few years was when Martin Margiela stole one of our shirt designs and repurposed it for his $1300-3000 per item line. Apparently we are cutting edge design...

You can see this story on LAtimes dot com around July 08. Search for: "Martin Margiela horse tee carries $1,395 price tag"

Please keep it clean some of the stories are pure genius and really made our month.
Feel free to submit your story/review to us and we'll pick the best and send the weekly winner a free 3 Wolf Moon Shirt!

In response to the one star post by Go Down, Moses:

By Go Down, Moses
So I got this wolf shirt because of, you know, the sweet wolves on it.

However, having owned this shirt for three weeks now and having tried it out in a variety of situations, both formal and informal, I'm beginning to believe that some of the benefits ---- as described by other reviewers ---- are exaggerated. For example, not ONE supermodel has approached me. Some of you may be used to having supermodels approach you on a regular basis but, believe me, I am not: I would notice one should she appear in my vicinity.

Similarly, I have not been invited to a vision quest, even though I wore my wolf shirt in New Mexico.

There is one thing, though, and that is that whenever I wear the wolf shirt I have a lot less issues with involuntary urination. I have not studied it long enough, however, to establish a cause/effect relationship.

Once, however, while wearing the wolf shirt I was mistaken for Schneider, the building superintendent on "One Day at a Time."

So I guess the jury is still out.

The Mountain says:

We at The Mountain do not guarantee that you will become a magnet for super models. There is no governing the fate of one man to secure the kindred love of a like-minded mate for life while baying at the moon on a warm Summer's night; to the man who wears not the 3 Wolf Moon and stumbles through life on a path of loneliness of one forgotten by the mortals he walks among.

To be asked upon a vision quest would require a more appropriate attire of which can be searched on Amazon. Something more along the lines of Flight of the Shaman or One Family are sure to gain you access to these ancient rituals performed by our country's true founders. To be part of the family you must have the ancient key and proper wardrobe.

We feel that your rating of 1 star is unwarranted as we make no claim to the hook-up as stated above nor do we guarantee a vision quest invite by wearing a wolf shirt. We will however take up the involuntary urine expulsion case and add it to our long list of Mountain shirt wearing miracles and try to file an NDA with the FDA because we are sure that this is a problem for many folks of your ripe old age.

If you find yourself in a position such as that again, we recommend removing the shirt from your torso and fashioning a diaper. The thickness of our shirts and the 100% cotton will prove a fantastic level of absorbability and for that we feel we deserve at least 3 stars from you.


Our Response to Jackie the Control Freak:

By Jackie2 (Ca) - See all my reviews
My 5 stars is for the hilarious reviews! My husband actually OWNED this shirt at one time and I have been trying for 20 years to get him out of his trailer trash clothes! We live in a very nice PAID for home with NO wheels and do just fine financially( I have all my teeth too :)BUT to look at my husband you's never believe it! Well, after reading the reviews to him, I think...FINALLY, after all these years, a light bulb went off. He's upstairs right now going through his closet! Not holding my breath...it'll take baby steps but the shirts are GOING! NOW, if we can just do something about the belt buckles and West Virginia cap...Whoa, I better slow down...baby steps....:) Thanks guys!!

The Mountain says:
Jackie, thanks for the 5 Stars but we are a bit offended by your response. It seems you want to change your husband into something he's not. Do you know how huge your balls have to be to wear one of our shirts. These are the shirts of legend. Who are you to judge your man's virility? We suppose that you have had him neutered as well, which is probably why he felt the need to wear a wolf shirt in the first place. No one neuters the wolf without losing a hand.

We are very concerned for your well being and your negative feelings about your fellow man in the trailer. It seems you may be a Classist which is a very ugly trait for any human. Not everyone has the ability to wear Louis Vuitton. One of our favorite moments in the last few years was when Martin Margiela stole one of our shirt designs and repurposed it for his $1300-3000 per item line. Who's slumming now?

Best Wishes to your Husband.
Please let him know if he ever feels the need to get back to his roots that we'll be here for him.

The Mountain

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#12 User is offline   dktorode 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 09:21 AM

and the WIN continues.... :)
...┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐...

Why dont they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?
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#13 User is offline   alestar 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 05:09 PM

That was fucking hilarious...
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#14 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 07:45 PM

where does he get those wonderful links?

Erm...drinks...were you actively looking for wolf Tshirts when you found this gem?
souls are for wimps
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#15 User is offline   Obdigore 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:07 PM

I think the most alarming part is that 'joe the plumber' "wrote" a book.
Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.
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#16 User is offline   cauthon 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:10 PM

Let us all give the item a single star.
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#17 User is offline   bubba 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:18 PM

....and yes....Keene, NH is the next town over from me....:)

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#18 User is offline   Assail 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 08:40 PM

Lol I saw this same link posted on 4chan. I'm lead to believe the people who submitted the reviews are /b/tards.
I still heart Goodkind.
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#19 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 09:39 PM

They're from everywhere. The T-shirt thing re-appears on 4chan, eBaums, reddit, etc. every so many months.
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#20 User is offline   Adjutant Stormy~ 

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Posted 19 May 2009 - 11:48 PM

My god, this is a comedy goldmine. I can't believe I've never noticed this before.
<!--quoteo(post=462161:date=Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM:name=Aptorian)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Aptorian @ Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=462161"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->God damn. Mighty drunk. Must ... what is the english movement movement movement for drunk... with out you seemimg drunk?

bla bla bla

Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.

Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french

EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
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