[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

NOw that I think about it, I think I used to know that puck was a girl, but forgot.

[Happy Cat]

Probably Spanish Shreck and drums blocking the brain waves. Or dare I say old age, No wait thats me. Never mind.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

 RACHEL, on 25 September 2009 - 03:08 PM, said:

My Aunt bought the twilight books at a garage sale and gave them to me telling me that since I'm such a fast reader I could read them quick and tell her how they were. I tried to say no but she wouldn't listen. I eventually gave them to my cousin, unread, having been unable to subject myself to them. My sister did rent the movie which I watched with her, and it turned out to be hilarious.

Hilarious....as in the entire cast being arrested?

[Tsundoku]

 Darkwatch, on 15 September 2009 - 03:50 AM, said:

 Mr.James, on 15 September 2009 - 03:36 AM, said:

Sadly, I believe most of us encouter the same reactions when trying to explain the many flaws of twilight...I know I did. there is just no reasoning with the brainwashed masses of twittards. One shining example that happened to me was during one of my many arguments with one of the girls I mentioned earlier, I asked her to answer me this 'would you like it if a guy you just met and is acting totaly wierd every time you happen to be 20 meter radius of him to break into you room in the middle of the night, each night and just stare at you while you sleep? fighting his urge to sink his teeth in your neck and perform all kinds of nasty and filthy acts with you???' she goes quite for a while and I'm thinking that I've triumphed and that for once common sense has one...but then she goes '....Edward wasn't like that, he is soooo romantic, and besides if someone decides to do this to me and he's as hot as Edward then I don't mind...' I looked at her with a feeling of contempt brewing within me...I said to her 'yeah if that happens be sure to let me know all the details...'
I swear I'm tempted to hire someone to break into her house and delibrately wake her up while she is sleeping....

and I've also tried all those arguments used by Mappo to no avail...

The best come back to all that girls line of lack of thought is simply:
"So it's not rape if the guy is hot?"
She can also be called shallow and stupid if she's willing to dismiss dangerous stalker and abusive partner behaviour because the said guy is hot.
So if one day her boyfriend beats her it's ok if he looks good while hitting her and tries to pass it off as uncontrolled passion?
I call her a failure as a woman and a human being.
I'm sure that feminists everywhere are cringing every time they hear Twilight now.

Only in public. In the privacy of their rooms they pull their bootleg copy of Twilight out from under the pillow and ...

Quote

Jesus... That has to be one of the worst things I've heard from a Twitard, she actually stopped and attempted to think and still failed.

To be fair, it IS rather indicative of that particular subspecies. Stereotypes are just that for a reason, you know.

It was funny when I went into a book store with a female friend and firmly directed her AWAY from Twilight and the other "paranormal romance" crap. The (young, female) sales assistant tried to tell us it was OK and the genre was quite good. I looked at her and said "Here is one of those examples of when the desire to sell directly conflicts with the duty to give good advice". She looked at me blankly until I explained it to her. She didn't look impressed, but as I was the customer - about to spend about $150 she just had to smile and take it.

A small win for the good guys. Even if it only took $150 of my hard-earned it was worth it to deny the twitards another potential victim...

[HoosierDaddy]

I didn't know, Ray. But, then again, why would I? A geek is a geek is a geek. (that's a compliment by the way.)

[Theotendo]

Anyone ever think about the story behind Twilight?
Older (much,much,much too much?) mysterious guy finds angsty teenager and declares he's in love with her. Can't BE with her because it would damage (insert kill) her...Could've come from the diary of a peadophile...if you were asking me...

[Sixty]

I always assumed that the author just wrote down her fantasies, inserted herself in as the main character (mary sue), and somehow got published.

[Illuyankas]

Especially if you compare the description of the main character with a picture of the author.

[Darkwatch]

 Sombra, on 27 September 2009 - 03:22 PM, said:

 Darkwatch, on 15 September 2009 - 03:50 AM, said:

I'm sure that feminists everywhere are cringing every time they hear Twilight now.

Only in public. In the privacy of their rooms they pull their bootleg copy of Twilight out from under the pillow and ...

Quote

Jesus... That has to be one of the worst things I've heard from a Twitard, she actually stopped and attempted to think and still failed.

To be fair, it IS rather indicative of that particular subspecies. Stereotypes are just that for a reason, you know.

It was funny when I went into a book store with a female friend and firmly directed her AWAY from Twilight and the other "paranormal romance" crap. The (young, female) sales assistant tried to tell us it was OK and the genre was quite good. I looked at her and said "Here is one of those examples of when the desire to sell directly conflicts with the duty to give good advice". She looked at me blankly until I explained it to her. She didn't look impressed, but as I was the customer - about to spend about $150 she just had to smile and take it.

A small win for the good guys. Even if it only took $150 of my hard-earned it was worth it to deny the twitards another potential victim...

You're right about the bootleg copies under the bed since I have only met one girl who's ever managed to resist Twilight. All the others who say they have, have rea the series...

Good work on the store clerk, I wish i could have seen that.

 Theotendo, on 27 September 2009 - 07:38 PM, said:

Anyone ever think about the story behind Twilight?
Older (much,much,much too much?) mysterious guy finds angsty teenager and declares he's in love with her. Can't BE with her because it would damage (insert kill) her...Could've come from the diary of a peadophile...if you were asking me...

Oh we've mentioned that quite a few times.

 Sixty, on 27 September 2009 - 08:52 PM, said:

I always assumed that the author just wrote down her fantasies, inserted herself in as the main character (mary sue), and somehow got published.

She did.

 Illuyankas, on 27 September 2009 - 09:25 PM, said:

Especially if you compare the description of the main character with a picture of the author.

A quick check on GIS and I couldn't find that comparison picture.
Some one with more Google-fu must take up the challenge.

[Bauchelain the Evil]

I'm horrified. I just discovered that practically all the girls in my class read Twilight, even those I reputed as intelligent. No matter how I tried to destroy all the ridiculus things in that book, they will not agree with me. What can i do, what can I do!?

[Coco with marshmallows]

 Bauchelain the Evil, on 28 September 2009 - 05:53 PM, said:

I'm horrified. I just discovered that practically all the girls in my class read Twilight, even those I reputed as intelligent. No matter how I tried to destroy all the ridiculus things in that book, they will not agree with me. What can i do, what can I do!?

Find out the address of the best looking girl in your class.
sneak into her room at night and video her sleeping.

show her the video the next day, making sure that you are completely clear that you got the idea from Twilight.
there will be one of two responses:

She will phone the police, thus prooving that Twilight is ultimately about a creepy stalker bastard.
She will swoon, think its romantic, and you'll hook up.

Its a small risk to take Bauchelain.

Do It!

[Happy Cat]

Should we start passing the hat to raise bail money for Bauchelain?

I keep coming back to this thought: All of these Twilight girls will grow up to become Women.

[Darkwatch]

 Cocoreturns, on 28 September 2009 - 06:30 PM, said:

 Bauchelain the Evil, on 28 September 2009 - 05:53 PM, said:

I'm horrified. I just discovered that practically all the girls in my class read Twilight, even those I reputed as intelligent. No matter how I tried to destroy all the ridiculus things in that book, they will not agree with me. What can i do, what can I do!?

Find out the address of the best looking girl in your class.
sneak into her room at night and video her sleeping.

show her the video the next day, making sure that you are completely clear that you got the idea from Twilight.
there will be one of two responses:

She will phone the police, thus prooving that Twilight is ultimately about a creepy stalker bastard.
She will swoon, think its romantic, and you'll hook up.

Its a small risk to take Bauchelain.

Do It!

I'd agree if the answer weren't so obvious that you'd get arrested.

@ Bauch:
Just put it to them, would they mind you sneaking into their room to watch them sleep?
If they say: 1)"Well Edward is hot!" or 2)"Edward would never hurt me!" respond with
1) So basically looks excuse stalking and all manner perverts?
2) Well not yet. When you finally have sex with him he'll beat you unconscious.

 Happy Cat, on 28 September 2009 - 10:05 PM, said:

Should we start passing the hat to raise bail money for Bauchelain?

I keep coming back to this thought: All of these Twilight girls will never grow up and become insane cat ladies.

Corrected for accuracy.

Yes we should pool bail money.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Alright then.

Bauch, go out to my car. There's a dollar in the glovebox. Oh, and my uncle is a lawyer-he hasn't got a pinstripe suit but he's worth the trouble!

Yesterday I had the unpleasant fate of sitting in a movie lobby, and saw the adverts for New Moon around seven times. I don't understand why Hollywood feels the need to cash in on everything that sells...

Oh, and the book New Moon itself is residing in my house. I'm afraid to go out of the study.

[beru]

be strong grab it and give it to the nerest lake/sea or use it as a last resort wepon vs dropbears they cant fight blind i think (polar dropbears cant anyway)

[Illuyankas]

coughhopeitisn'tarepostcough

This post has been edited by Illuyankas: 29 September 2009 - 01:48 PM

[no_survivors]

OK, first off being a female I can HONESTLY say that I have never read the books or that I have any desire to do so.

That being said I have to admit I have watched the movie. My close friend was very depressed about personal stuff and decided to rent it because she thought it would make her laugh. She asked me to join her and although I was reluctant, you don't refuse a good friend in a time of need. That being said we laughed our fucking asses off. Anyone who thinks this is romantic is a lunatic. Why?

1. The guy is the most awkward person EVER. C'mon the dude has had few fucking decades to figure out how to act around women but he is still less smooth than a five year old going for their first kiss.

2. He calls her his own personal brand of heroin. Wow, nothing like being compared to a drug that literally makes people shit their own pants.

3. (This has nothing to do with romance, it just bothers me) Why the hell would you CONTINUE to go to high school? University is out of the question? Traveling around the world and doing whatever the fuck you want is unappealing? I mean you are fucking immortal, why would you do this to yourself? Personally I would think no matter whether you are living, dead, undead or immortal going to high school once is more than enough for a life time.

4. She desperatly wants to become a vampire because of him. Genius, nothing like spending ETERNITY with you high school boyfriend. WTF?

Sorry if some of this has been mentioned already. I am sure it has but I don't have time to read every post.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

 beru, on 29 September 2009 - 08:53 AM, said:

be strong grab it and give it to the nerest lake/sea or use it as a last resort wepon vs dropbears they cant fight blind i think (polar dropbears cant anyway)

Water is too good for it! I was thinking along the lines of molten lead...

And you raise some very incriminating (and thus wonderful) points Maddog.

[beru]

well you can also rip it apart in your rom therby sanctyfying the room to good litature

[Darkwatch]

You could also crucify it upside down and bury upside down and desecrate the ground with the blood of a twitard.
Bind it with Goetic graphicforms and condemn it to hell.
Then find Meyers and burn her at the stake for sacrilege, hunt down and destroy every copy of the book.
Basically, just join the Inquisition.