[MTS]

Last week I was in the university bookshop with my girlfriend, a friend and his girlfriend just looking for some good fantasy books to buy (I bought <i>The Steel Remains</i> - looks good). We rounded the corner into the fantasy section and there is a girl standing there, a copy of Twilight in her hand, opened up to some random page with a dreamy, beatific smile on her face. She is completely oblivious to the world - my girlfriend even tries to talk to her about what she's reading, and she gets grumpy and storms off to find a quite place to read it. I thought that was a bit rude, and said so, but my girlfriend was "understanding" and admitted that it was rude to interrupt her reading. I told her it was a good thing; girls shouldn't be reading that trash. "OOH! Look at me, I'm sparkly! This is the skin of a killer! I can read minds, despite the fact I'm a vampire, not telepathic. *Dracula voice* I want to suck your blood!...but I'm too pansy to do it 'cos I'm in lurrrrrve for no reason whatsoever". You wouldn't believe the amount of vitriolic hate that was directed my way. My friend agreed with me, and he got a blasting too. "You wouldn't understand! He doesn't bite her cos he loves her too much"...blah blah blah ad nauseum.

Anyway, later on we were back at my friend's house, and suddenly me and my girlfriend hear a heated argument. Going to investigate, we find out that his girlfriend is pissed because he's not romantic enough; he says he loves her but doesn't show it yadda yadda yadda and why he can't be sensitive and sweet like Edward. Now, I was floored. She's comparing their relationship to a fictional one between an idiot of a girl and a completely retarded vampire. I once read a similar story on FML, where a girl dumped her boyfriend for the same reason. It's batshit crazy.

Earlier that night I was at home with my girlfriend talking about how irrational it was and she should stop comparing real people to fictional characters in what is essentially a romance novel intended for teenagers. It shouldn't be taken seriously. Anyway, my girlfriend then turns to me and says, "...you know, she has a point. You never do anything nice like that for <i>me</i>."...Goddammit. Are all women crazy? I'm starting to think so.

Oh, and today, I came home from uni to find 4 Twilight books on my bookshelf with a note from my girlfriend attached to one of them saying "YOU MUST READ. NO SEX UNTIL YOU DO. Love, Emma." ...I hate my life. Now, initially I was worried that I had 4 Twilight books polluting what is essentially a marvelous collection of fantasy, now I'm more concerned about how I'm going to actually read these books while not having sex and how she got into my house...she doesn't have a key.

This post has been edited by MTS: 24 October 2010 - 05:08 AM

[Assail]

Mappo's Travelling Sack, on May 13 2009, 06:41 AM, said:

Last week I was in the university bookshop with my girlfriend, a friend and his girlfriend just looking for some good fantasy books to buy (I bought The Steel Remains - looks good). We rounded the corner into the fantasy section and there is a girl standing there, a copy of Twilight in her hand, opened up to some random page with a dreamy, beatific smile on her face. She is completely oblivious to the world - my girlfriend even tries to talk to her about what she's reading, and she gets grumpy and storms off to find a quite place to read it. I thought that was a bit rude, and said so, but my girlfriend was "understanding" and admitted that it was rude to interrupt her reading. I told her it was a good thing; girls shouldn't be reading that trash. "OOH! Look at me, I'm sparkly! This is the skin of a killer! I can read minds, despite the fact I'm a vampire, not telepathic. *Dracula voice* I want to suck your blood!...but I'm too pansy to do it 'cos I'm in lurrrrrve for no reason whatsoever". You wouldn't believe the amount of vitriolic hate that was directed my way. My friend agreed with me, and he got a blasting too. "You wouldn't understand! He doesn't bite her cos he loves her too much"...blah blah blah ad nauseum.

Anyway, later on we were back at my friend's house, and suddenly me and my girlfriend hear a heated argument. Going to investigate, we find out that his girlfriend is pissed because he's not romantic enough; he says he loves her but doesn't show it yadda yadda yadda and why he can't be sensitive and sweet like Edward. Now, I was floored. She's comparing their relationship to a fictional one between an idiot of a girl and a completely retarded vampire. I once read a similar story on FML, where a girl dumped her boyfriend for the same reason. It's batshit crazy.

Earlier that night I was at home with my girlfriend talking about how irrational it was and she should stop comparing real people to fictional characters in what is essentially a romance novel intended for teenagers. It shouldn't be taken seriously. Anyway, my girlfriend then turns to me and says, "...you know, she has a point. You never do anything nice like that for me."...Goddammit. Are all women crazy? I'm starting to think so.

Oh, and today, I came home from uni to find 4 Twilight books on my bookshelf with a note from my girlfriend attached to one of them saying "YOU MUST READ. NO SEX UNTIL YOU DO. Love, Emma." ...I hate my life. Now, initially I was worried that I had 4 Twilight books polluting what is essentially a marvelous collection of fantasy, now I'm more concerned about how I'm going to actually read these books while not having sex and how she got into my house...she doesn't have a key.

I think this is a crafty plot by yourself to justify your reading of Twilight. I think you secretly look forward to it!

On another note; yes, women are crazy. There is not much more that can be said.

[Astra]

I would find a more mature partner

[dktorode]

[MTS]

Assail, on May 13 2009, 11:44 PM, said:

I think this is a crafty plot by yourself to justify your reading of Twilight. I think you secretly look forward to it!

On another note; yes, women are crazy. There is not much more that can be said.

Oh no, I tried reading it a couple of years ago when I didn't know what it was about. I literally got 5 pages.

[Sixty]

Dkt beat me to the sparkles-bashing.

On a side note, one of my friends personally watched Twilight ALONE, and there was no end to the stream of shit flying at him for the subsequent week.

Also, what makes Twilight even worse is how far it's proliferated throughout my school. In my English class at the semester's start, we had a small survey regarding our reading habits/preferences. And one of the questions was...

Are you a Twilighter?

I mean, WTF?

This post has been edited by Sixty: 13 May 2009 - 01:50 PM

[Assail]

Mappo's Travelling Sack, on May 13 2009, 06:47 AM, said:

Assail, on May 13 2009, 11:44 PM, said:

I think this is a crafty plot by yourself to justify your reading of Twilight. I think you secretly look forward to it!

On another note; yes, women are crazy. There is not much more that can be said.

Oh no, I tried reading it a couple of years ago when I didn't know what it was about. I literally got 5 pages.

So you say! Haha, I doubt you'd really have to read them mate. I can tell you the general story line and what happens throughout the books and I've never read them (Yes, this is a very bad thing lol).

Sixty, on May 13 2009, 06:48 AM, said:

Dkt beat me to the sparkles-bashing.

On a side note, one of my friends personally watched Twilight ALONE, and there was no end to the stream of shit flying at him for the subsequent week.

>.>

[dktorode]

He watched ALONE and then TOLD you?

buhwhaahahaa

[MTS]

Yeah, that's got to be the stupidest thing ever done.

@Astra, normally she is quite mature (more so than me, anyway). This whole Twilight thing though...I seriously think she's gone insane.

This post has been edited by Mappo's Travelling Sack: 13 May 2009 - 01:53 PM

[Dr Trouble]

I agree with Astra.

That is simply retarded.

[Mezla PigDog]

Stick to your guns. Women like a stubborn man really (you just have to pick the right things to be stubborn about). If she dumps you because you won't read Twilight, then she's not really long term material

Give her the gift of meat.

[Sixty]

To convince your girlfriend, you should have her read this:

http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-tw...ore-honest.html

Cracked seems to have something appropriate for every conversation...

[Assail]

Mezla PigDog, on May 13 2009, 06:54 AM, said:

Stick to your guns. Women like a stubborn man really (you just have to pick the right things to be stubborn about). If she dumps you because you won't read Twilight, then she's not really long term material

Give her the gift of meat.

What if she doesn't like sand-

ohhhh.

[MTS]

Trouble, on May 13 2009, 11:54 PM, said:

I agree with Astra.

That is simply retarded.

Yeah, I know. I hope it's a joke, albeit in very bad taste.

This post has been edited by Mappo's Travelling Sack: 13 May 2009 - 01:58 PM

[Assail]

Lol I'm reading this altered script.

ROBERT PATTINSON

Sounds like textbook daddy issues, you fat cow.

KRISTEN STEWART

Of course! This also explains why the captain of the football team always acted like he hated Stephanie Meyer!

[Tapper]

No sex?

Hmm, somehow, I smell a The Contest .5 aka 'the Boycot Edition' coming up...

[Mushroom]

Find some of your favourite books. Preferably something of quite a high quality.
Say the Takeshi Kovacs novels, the three of them. or..
The Hyperion Cantos.
Heroes Die/Blade of Tyshalle.
Prince of Nothing Triliogy.
etc etc, I'm sure you have something, avoid Malazan as it's unfairly long (8 books so far) compared to twilight (4 books).

Or you could go someting really high quality reading such as;
The Book of the New Sun.

Get these books put them on her bookshelf with a note saying "No sex until you read these". Girls liking sex just as much as we do, she will succumb eventually.
Once she reads the books, and realises what inferior quality the twilight books are compared to those on that list especially say Book of the New Sun she will realise how stupid she has been and what she has been missing out on.

This post has been edited by Mushroom: 13 May 2009 - 02:07 PM

[MTS]

That's a great idea, but unfortunately she's read most of them, yet still likes Twilight. She even reads Erikson! Women are completely irrational.

Btw that script was hilarious haha.

This post has been edited by Mappo's Travelling Sack: 13 May 2009 - 02:09 PM

[Dr Trouble]

Mushroom, on May 13 2009, 10:05 PM, said:

Find some of your favourite books. Preferably something of quite a high quality.
Say the Takeshi Kovacs novels, the three of them. or..
The Hyperion Cantos.
Heroes Die/Blade of Tyshalle.
Prince of Nothing Triliogy.
etc etc, I'm sure you have something, avoid Malazan as it's unfairly long (8 books so far) compared to twilight (4 books).

Or you could go someting really high quality reading such as;
The Book of the New Sun.

Get these books put them on her bookshelf with a note saying "No sex until you read these". Girls liking sex just as much as we do, she will succumb eventually.
Once she reads the books, and realises what inferior quality the twilight books are compared to those on that list especially say Book of the New Sun she will realise how stupid she has been and what she has been missing out on.

It would be nice if the female mind worked like that.

[Mushroom]

Really? even Book of the New Sun ..?



Dump Her.

She is Immature.

Or you can do what Mezla said, stick to your guns. Eventually she will realise what an immature piece of shit brat she is and come to here senses with the Twilight crap.