[KeithF]

Mentalist, on May 13 2009, 11:32 PM, said:

what is twilight?

It's a series of books by Stephanie Meyer (who got the idea from a dream) about a girl (Bella) who falls for a vampire (Edward) who's part of a pseudo-family of 'vegetarian' vampires. The vampires sparkle in the sunshine. There are also werewolves. Edward wants to suck Bella's blood at first because she for some reason smells really, really good, but he doesn't, and eventually graduates to wanting to suck other bits of her and do other things rhyming with suck, but he can't for various reasons. There is a lot of angst and the kind of things that happen in unoriginal romances (misunderstandings, attempted abandonments, endless stuff about how hot they are and how in love they are without really showing us why) They eventually get married to avoid some of said reasons, because Meyer is a Mormon. Then Bella gets pregnant, Edward has to do a Ceasarean with his teeth before the half-vampire baby eats its way out or something, and the baby grows into an adult really fast. Oh, and Bella's werewolf buddy/backup love interest falls in love with the baby before she's born because of werewolf stuff. Then Bella becomes a vampire and they all live sparkly ever after. Did I miss anything important, people who've read beyond the first book?

[Mentalist]

KeithF, on May 13 2009, 07:32 PM, said:

Mentalist, on May 13 2009, 11:32 PM, said:

what is twilight?

It's a series of books by Stephanie Meyer (who got the idea from a dream) about a girl (Bella) who falls for a vampire (Edward) who's part of a pseudo-family of 'vegetarian' vampires.

that, right there, is heresy.
I will hear no more of this.

[HoosierDaddy]

Oh please oh please oh please tell me that is what actually happens.

[Tiste Simeon]

You, know, the second one is already being made into a movie... I weep.

[Zanth13]

I read the first few chapters of twilight,

I was under-whelmed...

[HoosierDaddy]

Encyclopediadramatica's take.

Rave reviews! Lol.

I thoroughly enjoyed this part:

Also known as Twilight 2: Electric Boogaloo

[Tsundoku]

Tell her if she wants you to read Twilight etc to put more romance back into your lives and "do something" for her, then she must watch Rocco Siffredi and Bella Donna pr0n with you for the same amount of time as it took you to finish the books, for roughly similar reasons ...

Cheers,

La Sombra, liberte, egalite, pr0n

This post has been edited by Sombra: 14 May 2009 - 12:21 AM

[Slow Ben]

First of all, heed HD. Its Cedric, not Edward.

Second, my gf also loves this crap, but she's smart enough not to even try. I also asked her about Edward being all romantic and apparently its true. Stupid veg vampire sparkly teens ruining shit for us.

I pity you MTS.

[Zanth13]

but doesnt he stalk her and try tempted to eat her???

thats what the review thingy said... how is that romantic...

he he is a pedophile... he seduces a 17 year old girl... he is like over 100 right?

zanth likes it when his vampires to erupt into a ball of flame when encountering sunlight... its only natural.

This post has been edited by Zanth13: 14 May 2009 - 12:25 AM

[HoosierDaddy]

Teenage girls don't like immolated vampires. They like sparkles and LURVE!!!!!!!!!!

 Twilightaward.jpg (99.74K)
Number of downloads: 13

I heart Pedobear. He's so cute.

This post has been edited by HoosierDaddy: 14 May 2009 - 12:28 AM

[Zanth13]

teen age girls are suppose to be eaten by vampires, not married to them...

thats whats wrong with the youth today...lack of respect for the horror genre...

let a teenage girl try and fall in love with Kiefer from Lost boys... or Nosforatu(SP?)

or Jack's where wolf... it wouldnt happen... and they would be eaten

edit:

HD that pic gets you much rep... tis awesome

This post has been edited by Zanth13: 14 May 2009 - 12:32 AM

[HoosierDaddy]

I think in today's overly gothy gothicness and emoism, bad guys are good guys. So, vampires? Nice people.

Edit:

This character description is so full of win it must be posted:

Nessie
Nessie Cullen is Bella and Edward's mutant hybrid spawn-of-Satan kid. It was nicknamed after the Loch Ness Monster, Bella's true love interest. Its full name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen and for entirely obvious and pertinent reasons that are relevant to the storyline, it has an extra chromosomal pair, making it a werewolf as well. Many lulz are had at this, as anyone with even the most rudimentary understanding of biology knows that an extra chromosomal pair results in Down's Syndrome, not werewolves. According to the author of this shit storm, vampire + human = werewolf (see Munsters) because FUCK YOU SCIENCE.

Besides being really cute and having lots of pretty white teeth, Nessie also has the joy of growing super-fast; which is ironic since vampires aren't supposed to age, so it proves the author doesn't even know her own mythology. Its soon-to-be-husband Jacob Black only has to wait seven years to begin the banging.

This post has been edited by HoosierDaddy: 14 May 2009 - 12:44 AM

[Assail]

HoosierDaddy, on May 13 2009, 05:34 PM, said:

I think in today's overly gothy gothicness and emoism, bad guys are good guys. So, vampires? Nice people.

Edit:

This character description is so full of win it must be posted:

Nessie
Nessie Cullen is Bella and Edward's mutant hybrid spawn-of-Satan kid. It was nicknamed after the Loch Ness Monster, Bella's true love interest. Its full name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen and for entirely obvious and pertinent reasons that are relevant to the storyline, it has an extra chromosomal pair, making it a werewolf as well. Many lulz are had at this, as anyone with even the most rudimentary understanding of biology knows that an extra chromosomal pair results in Down's Syndrome, not werewolves. According to the author of this shit storm, vampire + human = werewolf (see Munsters) because FUCK YOU SCIENCE.

Besides being really cute and having lots of pretty white teeth, Nessie also has the joy of growing super-fast; which is ironic since vampires aren't supposed to age, so it proves the author doesn't even know her own mythology. Its soon-to-be-husband Jacob Black only has to wait seven years to begin the banging.

Wait! I knew they had a kid and she became a vampire in the end of the last book. But it's werewolf AND vampire? Are you fucking kidding me?

Which would make it a blood sucking wolf with sparkly fur? What the fuck is wrong with people today?

This post has been edited by Assail: 14 May 2009 - 03:33 AM

[HoosierDaddy]

I don't think it's a vampire. I think it's a straight up werewolf. Thus the Vampire + Human = FUCK YOU SCIENCE. Lol.

[RodeoRanch]

KeithF, on May 13 2009, 05:32 PM, said:

Mentalist, on May 13 2009, 11:32 PM, said:

what is twilight?

It's a series of books by Stephanie Meyer (who got the idea from a dream) about a girl (Bella) who falls for a vampire (Edward) who's part of a pseudo-family of 'vegetarian' vampires. The vampires sparkle in the sunshine. There are also werewolves. Edward wants to suck Bella's blood at first because she for some reason smells really, really good, but he doesn't, and eventually graduates to wanting to suck other bits of her and do other things rhyming with suck, but he can't for various reasons. There is a lot of angst and the kind of things that happen in unoriginal romances (misunderstandings, attempted abandonments, endless stuff about how hot they are and how in love they are without really showing us why) They eventually get married to avoid some of said reasons, because Meyer is a Mormon. Then Bella gets pregnant, Edward has to do a Ceasarean with his teeth before the half-vampire baby eats its way out or something, and the baby grows into an adult really fast. Oh, and Bella's werewolf buddy/backup love interest falls in love with the baby before she's born because of werewolf stuff. Then Bella becomes a vampire and they all live sparkly ever after. Did I miss anything important, people who've read beyond the first book?

[HoosierDaddy]

Bitter beer face of doom!

[Assail]

HoosierDaddy, on May 13 2009, 08:34 PM, said:

I don't think it's a vampire. I think it's a straight up werewolf. Thus the Vampire + Human = FUCK YOU SCIENCE. Lol.

What the FUCK. I know there's a werewolf kid in the books that has a hard on for her, did Edward and him run a train or something? Oh God, such horrible, horrible writing. More well known, good authors like Stephen King need to keep slamming Stephanie Meyer on the blight that she has put upon the Fantasy world.

Edit: I'm pretty sure Rodeo has just summed up all our feelings on the matter.

This post has been edited by Assail: 14 May 2009 - 03:43 AM

[HoosierDaddy]

Assail... have you read these books?

[Assail]

HoosierDaddy, on May 13 2009, 08:44 PM, said:

Assail... have you read these books?

No, my cousins have and like to inundate me with information about them whenever I see them. Bastards.

This post has been edited by Assail: 14 May 2009 - 03:48 AM

[HoosierDaddy]

I take it your cousins are prepubescent females?