Malazan Empire: Weird News Story Du Jour - Malazan Empire

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Weird News Story Du Jour One thread to bring them all and in the darkness ... wtf?

#601 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:13 PM

This could go on our tourism ads. California Man licks doorbells, Florida Man eats other man's face...where would you rather go on vacation?
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#602 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 09 January 2019 - 10:59 PM

Destination Canada could use that exact same line.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 09 January 2019 - 10:59 PM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#603 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 10 January 2019 - 12:10 AM

View PostTsundoku, on 09 January 2019 - 10:59 PM, said:

Destination Canada could use that exact same line.


https://www.theglobe...apping-case-in/
Three people involved in naked kidnapping case in Alberta had shared psychotic disorder, court hears
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#604 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 01:56 PM

We're gonna need a bigger boat. Mega shark

(yes my procrastination attack is not getting any better)
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
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#605 User is offline   D'rek 

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 02:11 PM

View PostMezla PigDog, on 18 January 2019 - 01:56 PM, said:

We're gonna need a bigger boat. Mega shark

(yes my procrastination attack is not getting any better)


Huh, so apparently the difference between humans and sharks is that pregnant sharks are calmer and safer to be around

View Postworrywort, on 14 September 2012 - 08:07 PM, said:

I kinda love it when D'rek unleashes her nerd wrath, as I knew she would here. Sorry innocent bystanders, but someone's gotta be the kindling.
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#606 User is offline   Nevyn 

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Posted 08 March 2019 - 06:08 PM

This made my friday

Attached File(s)

  • Attached File  hip.JPG (114.57K)
    Number of downloads: 0

Tatts early in SH game: Hmm, so if I'm liberal I should have voted Nein to make sure I'm president? I'm not that selfish

Tatts later in SAME game: I'm going to be a corrupt official. I have turned from my liberal ways, and now will vote against the pesky liberals. Viva la Fascism.
When Venge's turn comes, he will get a yes from Mess, Dolmen, Nevyn and Venge but a no from the 3 fascists and me. **** with my Government, and i'll **** with yours
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#607 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 18 April 2019 - 01:41 AM

An online ID ... for porn. Riiiiiiiiiight.

"Hello Pornhub, my name is Morgoth and I'm from Norway ..."

https://www.news.com...59025acacb6bd84

Do they seriously think this will work? I predict people will get around it faster than it took to write this sentence.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 18 April 2019 - 01:41 AM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#608 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 18 April 2019 - 03:22 AM

Australians: Tough. Or stupid. Usually both.

https://www.news.com...d7b0a4756d6fae0
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#609 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 18 April 2019 - 03:41 AM

Why they saying "slushie" and not Slurpee®?
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#610 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 18 April 2019 - 08:01 AM

Our accent doesn't permit the use of acc^ents or ® registered trademarks. It's apparently something to do with our long vowels.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 18 April 2019 - 08:05 AM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#611 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 11 July 2019 - 09:13 AM

Maybe someone told this guy to go fuck himself?

https://www.news.com...499b67ee4e1c3e3
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#612 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 11 July 2019 - 10:17 AM

Ugh, people with face tatoos. When ever they sidle up to our desk I always know we're in for an interesting conversation.
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#613 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 11 July 2019 - 10:45 AM

Agreed, for me it's so far been an infallible fuckwit indicator.
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#614 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 24 July 2019 - 08:59 PM

LINK

Quote

A new Coen brothers script ...

...after Oklahoma police made a traffic stop of Stephen Jennings, 41, and allegedely found he was driving a stolen car on a suspended license, and was in possession of an unlicensed handgun, a live rattlesnake, a canister of powdered yellow uranium, and an open bottle of Kentucky Deluxe whiskey.

- The Week (July 26, 2019)

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#615 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 29 July 2019 - 08:22 PM

Abyss' minions are everywhere, but have they tipped their ... paw?

https://www.news.com...6bc24de43eb8ee8
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#616 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 29 July 2019 - 09:56 PM

Posted Image
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#617 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 15 August 2019 - 11:45 PM

If you flush drugs down the toilet, you could be creating 'meth gators,' police in Tennessee say
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#618 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 16 August 2019 - 09:32 AM

That's ... simultaneously hilarious and scary as fuck.

Flush hillbilly heroin instead to make the gators all lethargic and nauseous. Or constipated.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 16 August 2019 - 09:33 AM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#619 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 27 August 2019 - 07:11 AM

This will take some beating in this year's Darwin Awards.

https://www.news.com...5d42d12a46ca521
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#620 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 27 August 2019 - 07:18 AM

Quote

The investigation found the balcony had no structural damage and the fall was simply as a result of an accident.


The cause was youth and stupidity.
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