[Macros]

If you want to throw down fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for ya, right here.

[masan's saddle]

Soulessdreamer, on Feb 21 2009, 05:40 PM, said:

masan's saddle, on Feb 22 2009, 06:08 AM, said:

Don't you have to be married to your sister, play the banjo and eat squirrel pie in order to be a bona fide, card carrying Hillbilly or have I been watching too many wildlife documentaries?

Don't you know anything you don't have to marry your sister just get her up the duff. :gaes-orfantal:

TTFN

U gotta be from New Zealand !

[Slow Ben]

I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!

I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?

... 50 yards...
Vacation


So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? [looks at Judge Smails, who's wearing the same hat] Oh, it looks good on you though.
Caddyshack

[Slum]

"What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach, so you get what we had here last week which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. And I don't like it any more than you men. "

Yep, Cool Hand Luke. Great line.

This post has been edited by Slumgullion Spitteler: 22 February 2009 - 01:18 AM

[Arthur Dayne]

~ You know there's alot of fine lookin women out there, but not many of them would bring you Lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you. - Silent Bob

~ No, actually I think that's the same cow. - Twister

~ Suck, Suck, Suck! - Spaceballs

~ She's gone from Suck to Blow! - Spaceballs

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[Thelomen Toblerone]

Mao, DIDI MAO!!!

That line is so often used in an angry tone for a variety of reasons in my house.

Also, that bit in Fellowship of the Rings where Pippin/Merry knocks the skeleton down the well in Moria, and Gandalf says something like:

"Fool of a took! Why dont you throw yourself down next time, and rid us all of your stupidity!"

Whenever someone does something stupid, I say "Fool of a took!" and my housemate (who does the best Gandalf impression EVAR) pops up and says the next bit. Hilarity every time. Im easily amused.

[beru]

"then we will fight in the shade" a REAL qoute from the REAL stand of the 300 spartans (with no less than 7000 other greek hoplits waching their back...)

"one does not simply walk into mordor"

[masan's saddle]

" Muthafucka...I am The foot fuckin' master "

" I'm a mushroom cloud layin' muthafucka, muthafucka.... etc "

" What the fuck am I doin' on brain detail."

" He'd have to be one charmin' muthafuckin pig...."

" Oh !...I think I shot Marvin in the face.....You must have gone over a bump or something."

Jules and Vince, will we ever see their like again ?

[The Tyrant Lizard]

I'm not a prick - you are, but I'm not. Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets.

[The Drum]

I can't believe that theres no python on here yet, so heres some of my favorite quotes from LIFE OF BRIAN,

'Call me big nose one more time and i'll take you to the fucking cleaners'

'He`s not he messiah, he's a very naughty boy'

[The Drum]

Cos i watched Spinal Tap last night, i've gotta include this gem

On being asked wht he doesn't just make the 10 on his amp louder, Nigel looks lost and replies - 'this one goes to 11'

[Aptorian]

Thelomen Toblerone, on Feb 22 2009, 01:49 AM, said:

Mao, DIDI MAO!!!

That line is so often used in an angry tone for a variety of reasons in my house.

We went to eat at Royal Palace in Copenhagen last year. It's one of those places where you pay a fee and you can drink and eat all that you want for three hours straight.

Well, naturally we all got extremely pissed, and we'd discovered that the entire stafff were asians. This of course had to be exploited by one of our friends. Every time we went up to get food for the buffet or he went to take a piss he'd open the door to the kitchen or stick his head through the service window and shout. MAO!! MAO!! DIDDI MAO!!! MAO!!! DIDDI MAO!!!

I have no idea what it actually means but the staff were hella pissed and it ended up with them refusing to serve us and we were all thrown out. We got into a ten man brawl in some dingy bar later that night and I made out with a fat chick. Best night ever.

[HoosierDaddy]

"How do you write women so well?" "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability." AGAIG

[Soulessdreamer]

Aptorian, on Feb 22 2009, 11:58 PM, said:

Thelomen Toblerone, on Feb 22 2009, 01:49 AM, said:

Mao, DIDI MAO!!!

That line is so often used in an angry tone for a variety of reasons in my house.

We went to eat at Royal Palace in Copenhagen last year. It's one of those places where you pay a fee and you can drink and eat all that you want for three hours straight.

Well, naturally we all got extremely pissed, and we'd discovered that the entire stafff were asians. This of course had to be exploited by one of our friends. Every time we went up to get food for the buffet or he went to take a piss he'd open the door to the kitchen or stick his head through the service window and shout. MAO!! MAO!! DIDDI MAO!!! MAO!!! DIDDI MAO!!!

I have no idea what it actually means but the staff were hella pissed and it ended up with them refusing to serve us and we were all thrown out. We got into a ten man brawl in some dingy bar later that night and I made out with a fat chick. Best night ever.

roughly - out get out now/quickly

TTFN

[Grimjust Bearegular]

Damnit! I didn't realize how fucked up I was till I just saw your ass, girl. You went from Beyonce to Bigfoot in less than 6 fucking hours! - smokin aces

[masan's saddle]

"...go n' buy yourself a nice pot of sticky sticky and fuck off back to noddyland." Bryn Cartwright/
Twin Town ( something like that, my copy is so scratched it won't play anymore, awesome movie)

[SteererScott]

The Camberwell Carrot scene for me is one of the best. Others include

"Please Can you help us, we've gone on holiday by mistake"

"Booze! I NEED some booze."

"We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them HERE, and we want them NOW"

In fact, the entire of Withnail and I is just so quotable, possibly the most quotable fiolm ever.

Lines from other films should include the immortal:

Igor, help me with the bags.
[Imitating Groucho Marx] Soitenly. You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban.
I was talking about the luggage.

[Hoods_Balls]

Greatest movie ever: BTILC

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Jack Burton: Like I told my last wife, I says, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."

Jack Burton: Well, ya see, I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're alone in THIS universe.

Jack Burton: Tall guy, weird clothes. First you see him, then you don't.

Jack Burton: This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang.

Jack Burton: Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president.

Jack Burton: Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."


Jack Burton: What's in the flask, Egg? Magic potion?
Egg Shen: Yeah.
Jack Burton: Thought so, good. What do we do, drink it?
Egg Shen: Yeah!
Jack Burton: Good! Thought so.


Jack Burton: You can go off and rule the universe from beyond the grave.
Lo Pan: Indeed!
Jack Burton: Or check into a psycho ward, which ever comes first, huh?


Jack Burton: Son of a bitch must pay!


Wang Chi: That's why the bottle didn't slice. My mind and my spirit are goin' north and south.

[on phone to insurance company]
Jack Burton: I'm gonna tell you about an accident, and I don't wanna hear "act of God"!


Lo Pan: [spots Gracie, Margo and Eddie on a security monitor] Who are these people? Friends of yours, huh? Now this really pisses me off to no end!

[Sir Thursday]

"They've sewn up all her orifices!"
"What, even her toes?"
"Toes aren't orifices, idiot!"
"Then why do we say "Socket toe me!"?"

- From the English subtitles to the French film RRRrrrr!!! (I can't remember quite how the original line went in French)


BEST. PUN. EVER.

[Darkwatch]

HoosierDaddy, on Feb 22 2009, 11:47 AM, said:

"How do you write women so well?" "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability." AGAIG

Sheer brilliance.