[Aptorian]

Macros, on Jun 25 2009, 11:22 PM, said:

no it doesn't in the slightest.
5000 years ago mean weren't shooting lighting bolts out of their ass, they were coming down from the sky.
Same as now.

I'm sorry, but I don't actually understand the meaning of this post.

[Aptorian]

http://www.movieline.com/2009/06/the-9-mos...-the-fallen.php

Quote

Michael Bay has never been one to embrace or even read film critics, and with the release of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, those aggrieved legions are returning the favor. And while the film is altogether review-proof, that’s not going to stop some of its most determined foes from attempting to smother it in its crib. After the jump, have a look at some of the most amusingly vicious rebukes to the summer’s biggest blockbuster to date.

9. “My son does not own any Transformer dolls. I’m sorry, make that Transformer action figures. But if he did, upon my return from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I would have taken these Hasbro toys outside, placed them under the wheels of the car and driven back and forth across them until they were ground into dust.” — Mary Pols, Time Magazine

8. “Michael Bay has once again transformed garbage into something resembling a film, at least in the loosest sense: it can be run through a projector and used to sell millions of tickets.” — Jeffrey M. Anderson, Combustible Celluloid

7. “At 149 minutes, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is six minutes longer than the 2007 noise machine from which this sequel sprang, but those six minutes are like dog minutes.” — Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune

6. “Fallen indulges Bay’s excesses well past the point of reason to deliver the male teenage cinematic equivalent of snorting cocaine off a hooker’s ass.” — Garth Franklin, Dark Horizons

5. “It finally occurred to me that pyrotechnics are Bay’s pornography: massive, fiery money-shots. The bigger the fireball, the more he gets his rocks off. I hope he had a sufficient supply of tissues in the editing room.” — Marshall Fine, Hollywood and Fine

4. “This is the same man who directed The Rock in 1996. Now he has made Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Faust made a better deal.” Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

3. “I don’t have much nice to say about Transformers 2, but I’m happy to see my Park Slope neighbor John Turturro get another big paycheck.” — David Edelstein, New York Magazine

2. “I’m certain that someday it will be acknowledged that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is like the most totally awesome artifact ever of the end of the American empire. It’s so us, a preposterously perfect reflection of who we are: loud, obnoxious, sexist, racist, juvenile, unthinking, visceral, and violent… and in love with ourselves for it. […] What we have right here is the Easter Island statue of our legacy.” — MaryAnn Johanson, FlickFilosopher

1. “Terry Schiavo would have been bored by this bloated, ponderous piece of shit.” — Devin Faraci, CHUD

[Abyss]

I dunno, i read most of those as being positive....

- Abyss, ....okay, except maybe the Schiavo one... that's somewhat down on the flic...

[Macros]

aptorian, those quotes are all spot on the money on this shit fest, you now agree with us?

[Aptorian]

No, but they are some funny quotes.

Seriously, I don't understand how you can go watch Transformers, especially after the first one, and then be all "But it was all about stupid robots and loud explosions and one liners, I'm so disappointed... waaaaahhhh".

It's fucking transformers. It's not exactly like the original cartoon series was nominated for a Golden Globe for best manuscript.

Roger Ebert needs to stop being a critic and move into a retirement home.

[Darkwatch]

I saw the movie last night and I quite enjoyed it.
Though the movie loses more points to the first because of the twins, but on the whole it was a fun popcorn movie.

Now I know a lot of you are mad for some reason but I believe this isn't so much a problem with the movie as it is with your expectations.

While the first movie had a more "solid" story compared to the plot hole fest that is the second, it remains charmingly retro and far closer to the original series in atmosphere. Now this can be a good or bad point depending on your point of view.

But considering the following:
-It's a Micheal Bay movie, a man known for not having depth or coherence so long as it explodes. Not to mention the fact that he's acknowledged this on several occasions and is not looking to apologize. He knows what he wants to do, you know what he's going to do. You can't walk into a Bay movie and not expect it to be nothing but big explosions. That would be like running through the Ayatollah's private residence with an American flag, you know you'll be shot.
-The first movie was no real gem either as things go and we knew that the story wasn't planned out over two films which means the inevitable sequel was going to be ridiculous (though I will say I did enjoy the whole NEST operation idea, which if properly developed would have been better).
-The aforementioned retro. The movie looks a lot like an episode of the original series, with all the tacked on extra plots that make no sense, the merging robots and the extra hidden robots (ala Dinobots). I enjoyed the SR-71's Scottish attitude it was at least different to the twins, who were massively annoying. Also note that Star Scream's voice and attitude have changed since the first so that it's closer to the original series.

Now the negative points of the movie revolve around the plot and it's many holes.
Obviously it would have made more sense if the fallen had been found by Star Scream while looking for reinforcements and he only been a short lived instigator of the decepticon movement.
The more advanced space travel tech used by the older models. The fact that one of the small bots from Sam's kitchen knows who the old bots on Earth are but no one else did.
The political intrigue was far weaker than in the first, and a better development of the NEST op would have been a good way to go, while cutting out all the extra planetary scenes of the fallen.
While keeping the massive decipticon reveal.
The semi mystical crap and the use of the pyramids and Petra were cheesy and over used.

But as I said I was expecting this and as such I was not dissapointed, I was not going to see a masterpiece here, I was going to see robots beating the shit out of each other and that's exactly what they did. The fight scene between Optimus, Megatron, Star Scream and Blackout was all kinds of awesome. Also Soundwave was excellently updated I find to fit into his espionage communications role. The edition of the Naval railgun was interesting, if not reeking of PLOT DEVICE, since this is tech being researched by the navy.

So to conclude, they could have included the Stargate in the pyramid holding the star destroying machine and have Goual'd showing up at the same time and I would not have been surprised and still as well entertained.

[Aptorian]

Ooohhh... A Transformers Stargate cross over... Richard Dean Anderson would have earned Revenge of the Fallen an Oscer.

[Abyss]

Was there at least one scene of people making out in front of a sunset?

- Abyss, knows his Bay...

[Aptorian]

Yup, Optimus was giving LaBeef some nooky on the carrier at the end.

[RodeoRanch]

An astonishing film. 2.5 hours of pure explosions and chases. It's like an epic form of action films all unto itself. The perfect "Michael Bay" style movie.


I liked it. It was too long and the plot was utterly incoherent but I liked it.

[Tsundoku]

Gotta go with DW, RR and Apt for this one. It was ridiculously over-the-top, short on plot, introduced too many new transformers who just got explodificated without any real lines, plus I personally got annoyed with the way Sam treated Bumblebee - as a servant, not a mate.

But holy shit, the 12 year old in me went WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think, in his effort to pack "MOAR" in, Senor Bay missed out on a couple of the aspects that made the first one more charming (if I can use that word for a Bay film, remember it's relative), but in the end, it's a popcorn flick of epic proportions, and I will be seeing it again soon.

But yeah, those twins were frickin' annoying. The remote-control 4WD ute Transformer (can't recall a name) that Megan Fox abuses (God, I would pay good money to have her hurl me around like that) was a bit annoying as well, but he sorta grew on me. I think he wasn't one of those created by the allspark shard though, I think he was there on orders from Soundwave.

I also think it could have been better broken into 2 movies - the first exploring the operations of NEST a bit further and Starscream getting the Decepticons together, only to put Megatron back together (to Starscreams' chagrin) at the end of the film. Megatron would then refer to the Fallen ... cue next film, where we see all about the Transfromers past, the old ones left on earth, the split between Decepticon and Autobot etc etc etc.

3.5 stars. 4 if I was drunk.

La Sombra, unapologetic overgrown 12 year old

[Aptorian]

Sombra, on Jun 28 2009, 06:08 AM, said:

I also think it could have been better broken into 2 movies - the first exploring the operations of NEST a bit further and Starscream getting the Decepticons together, only to put Megatron back together (to Starscreams' chagrin) at the end of the film. Megatron would then refer to the Fallen ... cue next film, where we see all about the Transfromers past, the old ones left on earth, the split between Decepticon and Autobot etc etc etc.

Indeed. I remember as soon as LaBeef started looking for that ancient thingy I though, this is cool, but this deserves far more story than one film. All though the hour long end I was wondering if the film would end abruptly in a cliffhanger.

[lobo the wolfman]

Saw the film yesterday and also thought it was good. Like most of Bay's movies it wouldn't be as enjoyable if one over analysed it, but it's great to put your mind in cruise control and watch giant robots go to town on each other of a couple of hours.

[Mushroom]

Just saw it.

Overal a decent movie to crunch some popcorn on and to not use your brain at all while watching.

Favourite scene is easilly when Optimus was battling anything.


A few things did annoy me.
- Sam for at least the first half of the movie was acting like a bumbling fool still. That annoyed me to no end.
- Less of Sams parents would have been cool

[Aptorian]

But the point of the film is that Sam is a bumbling fool who just wants to be a kid. I thought he developed nicely though and it's a completely different guy in the final scene.

The parents were hilarious. They deserve their own spin-off series.

The awesomest scene is still when Devastator starts being awesome.

[Illuyankas]

This is a pretty damn awesome review.

[Volkh]

This is a Bay movie get over it. Some of you guys would go watch a porn and bitch that they weren't wearing any clothes.

[Illuyankas]

BUT I ONLY GET OFF AT THE SIGHT OF A CRAVAT

Seriously, even though I haven't seen the film yet I'm certain they'll be enough good action scenes for me to survive the inevitable attempts at humour Bay seems to think aren't horrendous.

[Aptorian]

Illuyankas, on Jun 29 2009, 01:49 AM, said:

This is a pretty damn awesome review.

It's also pretty damn accurate. The only question is if you think the review sounds negative or just states the truth.

The film is awesome to the n'th degree.

[Volkh]

Dude that review was awesome. Hell that review was better then the movie. but still loved the movie for just what it said lol