[twelve]

Granted. You are suddenly inflicted with a case of the stomach flu and spend the next hour in the restroom extreting fluids from both ends. After words you are starving and raw but unfortunately lunch is over and you have to return to work and go hungry for the rest of the day.

I wish I had a clone that would go out and do my inventory audits for me.

[HiddenOne]

Granted, but your clone is so angry that you would do that to him, he kills you and stuffs you into the document shredder, kicks your boss in the nuts, and runs off with your significant other, enjoying the bounty of your bank account


I wish my cash flow was better

[Abyss]

HiddenOne, on 22 December 2011 - 06:56 PM, said:

I wish my cash flow was better

Granted. Now your cash flows away from you so swiftly and smoothly that you don't even know you ever had it.


I wish i hadn't forgotten how much fun this thread is.

[masan's saddle]

Your cash flow is better, so much so in fact that whilst macdaddyin' down the street in your new pimp suit, hat and cane you get beaten half to death by a gang of anarchists on their way to an occupy something or other rally. Your pitiable excuses about " personal cash flow" are met with derision and a general "..it's all about cash flow !" response, followed by a further booting, a can of petrol and a match.

I wish the engine warning light concerning my catalytic converter would fuck off.

Edit Curse you , you cross posting cat.

You do forget how much fun it is, due to short term memory loss caused by sniffing your own backside for too long !

I wish catalytic blah blah

This post has been edited by masan's saddle: 22 December 2011 - 07:24 PM

[twelve]

Granted. You were so sick from your stomach flu that on the way to the hospital you stray into oncoming traffic and hit by a bus. You are now in a coma.

I wish for world peace.

[twelve]

masan, on 22 December 2011 - 07:20 PM, said:

Your cash flow is better, so much so in fact that whilst macdaddyin' down the street in your new pimp suit, hat and cane you get beaten half to death by a gang of anarchists on their way to an occupy something or other rally. Your pitiable excuses about " personal cash flow" are met with derision and a general "..it's all about cash flow !" response, followed by a further booting, a can of petrol and a match.

I wish the engine warning light concerning my catalytic converter would fuck off.

Granted. The vehicle that your warning light is in is actually a transformer of the evil kind and got so tired of you bitching at it that it turned robot on you and pulled out his dick and ......

I wish for and end of famine.

[JLV]

twelve, on 22 December 2011 - 07:22 PM, said:

Granted. You were so sick from your stomach flu that on the way to the hospital you stray into oncoming traffic and hit by a bus. You are now in a coma.

I wish for world peace.

Granted. The world becomes so peacefully that it does away with weapons all together. Then the aliens invade.

twelve, on 22 December 2011 - 07:26 PM, said:

masan, on 22 December 2011 - 07:20 PM, said:

Your cash flow is better, so much so in fact that whilst macdaddyin' down the street in your new pimp suit, hat and cane you get beaten half to death by a gang of anarchists on their way to an occupy something or other rally. Your pitiable excuses about " personal cash flow" are met with derision and a general "..it's all about cash flow !" response, followed by a further booting, a can of petrol and a match.

I wish the engine warning light concerning my catalytic converter would fuck off.

Granted. The vehicle that your warning light is in is actually a transformer of the evil kind and got so tired of you bitching at it that it turned robot on you and pulled out his dick and ......

I wish for and end of famine.

Granted. Famine is over. You already ended war, as well. Next to come - pestilence and death!

I wish I had an unlimited supply of jagermeister.

This post has been edited by JLV: 22 December 2011 - 07:40 PM

[QuickTidal]

JLV, on 22 December 2011 - 07:40 PM, said:

I wish I had an unlimited supply of jagermeister.

Granted. You have an unlimited supply. Unfortunately, your supplier who comes to your house daily with cases of the stuff lets you in the the secret of the liquor, that it in fact is made from the licorice flavoured anuses of Brazilian cockroaches.


I wish I could leave work early, and not have my wish corrupted.

[JLV]

Granted. You leave work early, wish unmolested. Unfortunately the wish was so paradoxical that the world ended.

I wish I had a license to kill.

[rhulad]

Granted, unfortunately the license is only good for one use, and the only person that it allows you to kill is yourself.

I wish I could be drinking a Young's double chocolate stout right now.

[Abyss]

Granted. Nice frosty Young's is magically teleported directly into your mouth. Merry Christmas.
And sorry about the whole mixed glass and beer molecules merging with your face thing. I hear plastic surgeons can work miracles these days.

I wish I had something to wish for but i'm now going to party number 1 of 3 taking place this pm so life is pretty awesome.

[masan's saddle]

Awesomeness is an objective term, especially where your LARPing, pepsi drinking, tofu munching "parties" are concerned. Keep wishing fur ball.

I wish tunnock's tea cakes were not so damn tasty

[Gust Hubb]

Granted. Now they taste like as certain someone's derrière.

Oh, and the newly flavored treat has come with a free scratch and sniff case of herpes. Enjoy!

I wish that I didn't have to fly to see my relatives.

[JLV]

Granted. You now have to ant to see your relatives. And they stepped on you.

I wish I had some candy.

[Tapper]

You have some candy. Your teeth rot and you have to see the dentist, which would be highly inconvenient if not for the ultra-sexy assistant, with whom you end up in a darkened room. Where she turns out to be a man, and you leave the dentist bleeding from mouth and arse. You also catch a dose of herpes, of course...


I wish we could have a page here without herpes in it.

[Shinrei]

Tapper, on 23 December 2011 - 09:05 AM, said:

You have some candy. Your teeth rot and you have to see the dentist, which would be highly inconvenient if not for the ultra-sexy assistant, with whom you end up in a darkened room. Where she turns out to be a man, and you leave the dentist bleeding from mouth and arse. You also catch a dose of ******, of course...


I wish we could have a page here without ****** in it.

Unfortunately, your wish is interpreted as only including the word ******, not images.


I wish for one night with the girls of the japanese pop-group "Perfume".

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This post has been edited by Shinrei: 23 December 2011 - 10:29 AM

[Tapper]

You can, and then discover that their body odour is definately not close to perfume. Tokyo fish market is a better description.

I wish I didn't have to work after christmas.

[Shinrei]

Tapper, you're fired.

I wish my work gave me an annual Christmas bonus.



edited to add: if they smelled like fish...yeah, i would still enjoy myself

This post has been edited by Shinrei: 23 December 2011 - 10:46 AM

[Tapper]

Shinrei, on 23 December 2011 - 10:45 AM, said:

Tapper, you're fired.

I wish my work gave me an annual Christmas bonus.



edited to add: if they smelled like fish...yeah, i would still enjoy myself

Fresh fish doesn't smell

You get a bonus. And because financial boni are so mundane, they offer you a paraglide. Sadly, the glider breaks down and you end in hospital.

I wish data-entry would do itself.

[Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast]

Your data entry asexually reproduces into lots and lots of little data entries. You now have to finish them all. Before you're allowed to leave or eat. Or anything.

I wish I could go home to find that my copy of swtor has arrived do I can continue playing. Kind of a double wish but answer as you will.

This post has been edited by Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast: 23 December 2011 - 12:24 PM